who you should fight in criminal minds
  • aaron hotchner:he killed a man with his bare fucking hands. that should be reason enough to not fucking fight aaron hotchner.
  • emily prentiss:you could fight her and you’d probably lose, but life is already fighting her and winning so please don’t fight emily prentiss. give her a hug instead, maybe get her some coffee. don’t fight her.
  • jennifer jareau:she may look smol and non-threatening, but she will fucking beat the piss out of you in about 10 seconds flat. so don’t fight jennifer jareau, unless you enjoy being round-house kicked in the face.
  • derek morgan:do not fight derek morgan because he is derek morgan.
  • spencer reid:you could fight spencer reid and win, but why would you have any reason to fight spencer reid? because he beat you in a chess tournament? or keeps rambling about doctor who? why are you trying to fight that human lemur?
  • penelope garcia:you’d definitely win the fight, but fighting her would be like whaling on a kitten so you’re going to hell if you decide to fight penelope garcia. plus morgan would come and kill you. so don’t fight garcia.
  • alex blake:why are you still considering fighting fbi agents? don't fight alex blake? she could kill you? are you ok?
  • tara lewis:she hasn't been on the team long, but it's already apparent that you Should Not Fight Her.
  • jason gideon:he is a complete asshole and you should fight him. beat his ass. he’s dead but you can still kick the shit out of his corpse, please.
  • elle greenaway:don’t fight elle unless you have a death wish honestly why is this even under consideration.
  • kate callahan:she has 3 guns. don’t fight her.
  • david rossi:he may be up there in years, but he could still fucking beat your ass and nobody would feel bad for you. don't fight david rossi.
  • Hotch:the dad, has a resting bitch face, loves everyone but will not tell them, appreciates dogs
  • Gideon:the uncle, hotch and him are referred to as dad and bro, likes pats on the back and making people feel good
  • Rossi:weird highschool teacher that is deeply involved in your life, nosey, in your business, ???
  • Elle:mean older sister, likes picking on you, will steal your fries, if someone is mean to their younger sibling they will kick the crap out of them
  • Derek:older brother, loves everyone, don't get on his wrong side, will either kill you or hug you, doesn't want anyone else to be sad
  • JJ:middle child, hair is always perfect, kinda gay, is good at keeping secrets, always smells nice
  • Penelope:family friend that just kinda is always there, everyone has a nickname, computer nerd, will beat you in any video games, hella bi
  • Spencer:little baby child, thinks he can hold is own and sometimes can, only likes hugs sometimes, obsessed with Halloween, book worm, facts
  • Emily:older sister, very chill, very angry, likes girls, looks good in all clothes, will buy you icees, contemplates by looking out windows