jennifer coolage

@shiro2hero wants me to do this so here are my top anecdotes that sound fake but aren’t:

-I once dated a guy who is now a minor celeb and won the Glee project but that was when we were 14
-I also babysat a girl who is now headlining a Disney channel show
-the former ambassador from Hondorus bought me a beer at a party because she thought I was spunky
-she then hired me as an intern for a month
-I once got drunk with Jennifer Coolage because my mom saved her life when she tripped down some stairs
-I also had a full 2 hour conversation with Maisie Williams (aka: Arya Stark) because I didn’t know who she was at the time but now we are twitter mutuals?
-a joke I made about a character in the Green Lantern Animated Series got heard by one of the writers and he liked it so much he put it in and I got a writing credit for that episode
-I started the sexy dwarf meme that was popular when the first hobbit movie came out ad the cast saw it and sent me a signed cast photo of all of them
-I gave my first blowjob to a guy at a Christian summer camp
-also got eaten out then too
-a friend of mine that I had to drive to the hospital because she had a Barbie stuck up her ass is now being ordained as a priest
-I got cussed out by Mitt Romney

This is hard to do under pressure