If you make sexuality about attraction to identities
you are fucking homophobic.
Sexual orientation isn’t attraction to some “gender identity” that probably even changes from time to time. It never was.
If sexual orientation depends on the current identity in other peoples heads then it can be changed by others at will. They would have the ability to control your sexual attraction, your desires and so on.
And that’s exactly what trans/genderqueer activists try to do.
“Why are u not attracted to me although I identify as [insert jendah identity]. U are a [insert something] !111 Examine why you don’t like [insert sexual organ]!1 If you aren’t attracted to [insert jendah identity] you aren’t a REAL [insert sexual orientation]1!1
Now here’s the thing - if you picked a random “stereotypically feminine” woman on the street, the odds are overwhelmingly the case that she’ll be cissexual. Despite social gender stereotypes being perpetuated by billions of cis men and women, with the tiny number of trans people having about as much influence as a cork bobbing about in the wake of a supertanker, all the bad things associated with “gender” are apparently all our responsibility.
For me, all that defines “female” is related to reproduction and genitalia (ie having a uterus, being able to lactate, and having a vagina). That’s all- there is nothing essentialist about it. I’m a person who happens to have a vagina and has the ability to get pregnant. Cool. Vagina’s are amazing. Femininity has absolutely nothing to do with those facts about my body. Femininity is an oppressive social construct with a set of norms, behaviours, etc that were imposed on me by institutions and my interactions with people solely based on my genitalia/role in reproduction. “Woman” is a social class which varies in terms of culture, race, class, etc, yet it is always the subordinate class. Refusing to be feminine is a project I’m working on, for myself (it ain’t easy). But anyway, what’s even more important is organizing and talking about the issue of gender and defining it in a way that recognizes it as a hierarchy (vertical) and not a binary (horizontal). Like Haslanger and many others, I think we should refuse to be masculine and refuse to be feminine.
Side note: I’m also open to/in favour of a world where female/intersex/male categories are no longer apart of our concepts/language/epistemologies, rather that we simply acknowledge these biological differences as “lactating persons”, “pregnant persons”, etc. (which I think is important for feminist reasons).
Blah. hopefully I can fall asleep now after articulating these ideas that have been whirling around in my brain!