what hurts the most (jane/kurt drabble)

She’d spent the better part of the past year sleeping alone - sleeping without him - and while she wouldn’t have categorized them as the best nights of sleep she’d had; still, she’d managed to sleep. But on their first night back in New York, in the first night back in their apartment, she found it impossible to fall asleep.

They’d arrived quite late, and exhausted; too exhausted to argue when he placed her bag in their bedroom and mumbled that he would take the couch.

And that was the thing, she couldn’t fall asleep in their bed without him. It was not like it is never happened before. They had spent nights alone - due to work or travel - but they had never spent a night under the same roof and not been wrapped in each other’s arms, not since that first night two years ago. She just couldn’t find peace lying in their bed while he slept on the couch in the living room just behind that wall that separated them.

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you know what’s so precious about that kiss? kurt is the one who starts with the comforting and the intimacy, touching her knee, hand on her heart, hand on her cheek, but she is the one who moves in first because all that he wants to do in this moment is just comfort her because he sees how broken she is, and how much she is hurting, but he would never assume to do anything beyond that and he just takes it up one step every time, but she is the one who finally looks at him, her chin quivering, on the verge of tears and moves in to kiss him, telling him that yes, she needs him to comfort her, and yes, this is the way to do it, so don’t hold back anymore, don’t feel like you’d be stepping over any line because she needs it. she needs him, all of him and all that he could give her right now.