‘’No mom, don’t do that please. I don’t like it’’ I moved
almost too quickly, but the strict restraining of my dress prevented me. I
hated this, I hated being sat on a chair and constantly being touched by other
people. As far as I’m concerned a bride should have a say on her appearance on
her own wedding day but these people won’t even let me take a breather.
My mom finally hid her camera and smiled at me again ‘’I
just want to memorize this hunny, It’s your big day and I’m excited! I want
this moment to last forever! I remember when your dad and I married, I was so
determined I would spend the rest of my life with him. He felt like the perfect
man to love, but that wasn’t love. Love is when your heart melts like butter on
hot toast at the sight of someone’’
My face twisted in a deformed way but before a word could’ve
escaped my mouth one of the makeup artists came running up to me ‘’No, no!
Don’t twist your face like that, we don’t want any flaw on your face today do
My brows arched deeper at her irritable behavior.
‘’Selena!’’ Scolded my mother.
I rolled my eyes and squinted in the mirror in front of me.
Although everyone had done a great job on making me the most beautiful I can, I
still felt that unsatisfied nagging in my stomach. The fullness of my lips were
painted a deep shade of red, mascara swept across my lashes to outstand my eyes
by making them seem longer, a sharp line of eyeliner drawn on my eyelids and a
light shade of eyeshadow was brushed above my eyes. My hair had been
fantastically pulled to the back and tied in a knot that was held strongly by
all kinds of bobbypins, not one hair stuck out. My dress was the dress I’ve
always dreamed of, a flawless lace that hugged my upper body only to flow
beneath my waist like my ballerina dreams.
Mostly I was alla bout simplicity, the only makeup I’d ever
worn came close to a layer of mascara which I barely used. My mother insisted
i’d get the best stylists and makeup artists for my wedding day.
She’d arranged something huge, which I never wanted anyway.
She knew me well enough to acknowledge I didn’t like big things, I’ve dreamed
of a small wedding with only my friends and family not the entire population of
my hometown and my entire family and even some celebrities I had spoken a mere
second in my life.
Everything was so not me.
Jordan on the other hand, loved the entire big solution of
my mother. I’d loathed it and it only added more nervosity to me nerves.
When my eyes trailed to my rosy cheeks, I instantly felt the
I didn’t want this, why the hell am I even considering this?
I know my boundaries so well, How could I have let everything slip from
A deep voice rasped and the door opened, revealing my dad with
a tuxedo which fit him quite nice. ‘’Oh, marie. My daughter, you’re so
beautiful sweetheart’’ He flashed me a one million dollar smile and inched
closer until he was close enough to enclose his fist around my sinking
‘’Hi dad’’ I slightly croaked at him, trying my best to form
a smile upon my lips. My mom easily fell for it, but apart from the fact that I
was raised by mom, my father knew me far better than she did.
‘’Can we have a moment please, amanda?’’
My mom persepicuously rolled her eyes, and with much effort
escourted herself out with the entire group of ladies and I was finally alone.
A gasp escaped my lips when the door closed ‘’What’s wrong,
selena?’’ My dad came at side and crouched to the level of my chair,
despairingly holding onto my trembling hand ‘’Dad, I think this is too much. I
can’t handle all this pressure mom is giving me, she knows damn well that I’m
not comfortable of all these people and this big event. Hell, she even invited
professional paps, I just- I don’t.. I don’t want all this to be too much’’
‘’Sel, I don’t know whatever your mom may have told you. But
don’t listen to her, she’s not quite acquainted on the topic love- I mean she
just.. Love is something wonderful selena. Let me tell you that, It doesn’t arrive
slowly though, it’s the clap of thunder kind, the kind that slaps you round the
face like a wet kipper - kinda rude and shocking. But once you’ve felt love
like that, you can never imagine a life without it. It can’t stay as a thunder
clap of course, there is laundry to do and bills to pay - but under that
everyday monotony the love is still there: warm, cosy and just as real. And
selena if you have that, it’s something you treasure the most but also
something that should make you happy- And from the looks of it, you’re on the
verge of crying on your wedding day’’
‘’You know what I’m going to do?’’
‘’I’m going to wait exactly five minutes behind that door,
and if you come out we have your answer- and if you don’t then that’s just as
fine. I’ll cancel the wedding, you’ll talk to Jordan about it, don’t even dare
to try worry about your mom- She’s acting as if it’s her wedding. Think wisely
With his words repetitive and imprinted in my mind. I heard
the shut of a door and had struggle to keep the rushing tears in. The clenching
of my heart consumed my emotions and I felt so dull inside. With my shaking
posture, I stood up from the chair and shakily wandered to my bag lain in the
I hate this.
With my hands shaking on the highest vibritary I could
imagine, I pulled out an old envelope with an elegant, italic lettertype forming
my name. Some tears escaped unwanted as I took the letter out, in a immediate
speed a familiar, trusting cologne hitting my nostrils and I finally felt some
My eyes scanned the letter again, messily written in italic
It’s nearly midnight
and, I suppose, you are probably asleep. The last thing that will cross your
mind is whether miles away from where you live, someone is thinking about you.
It’s strange, when I am sitting opposite you, I don’t feel anything but here I
sit in my bedroom, thinking about you.
Your smile, often vacant from your face, is
etched in my head. I barely remember your voice but I remember the butterflies
in my stomach when I hear it. The feeling of satisfaction I get when you look
at me, that time—the first time—when you looked at me. Perhaps, I’ve been
mistaking it for a mutual attraction but deep down, I pray that you feel the
same as I do. A million different scenarios play out in my head, on a daily
basis, about how we will come together. Right now, I feel like they will come
true. But then again, it’s nearly midnight so, perhaps, I’ve lost my mind in
dreariness of my life and the drowsiness enveloping my eyes. But that doesn’t
mean I miss you any less, you’re engraved in my heart like an excessive
emotion. I heard you’re with someone, he makes you happier than I did, I heard.
While I should be rooting for the earned happiness he gives you, I’m not. I’m
selfish enough to even now want you for only myself. You’d be laughing right
now, I am in my room, pretty much drunk and heart-brokenly in love.I had known that to love deeply meant to
risk great pain, I had pursued superficial relationships and one night stands
until I met the most prodigious woman that was you and without being aware I
fell, deeply, fast and hard for you. When I told you I loved, I never said it
out of habit or to prove something. I
wanted to preserve your worthy and show you were the best thing that happened
to me into those words.
So for last,
I love you Selena Gomez.
Yours truly, Justin.
The tears were not quiet and controlled, they fell as fast
as the fall of rain and I quietly sobbed to draw breath. My lungs heaved and I
knew there was no cure for my heart. Not even Jordan to change what I’ve been
trying to avoid from feeling ever again. I had never looked at another, wanted
another like I looked and wanted him. My love had departed and I must find a
way forwards, no matter what. I stayed head bowed until my face had been dried
by the wind and my composure regained. It was my pain and I would keep it, it
was the intensity of this heartache that proved the strength of our bond that
faded between the times he broke my heart several times and I could not bare to
I need to move on.
Justin was not the one for me anymore, I was determined that
he wasn’t a long time ago but everytime. Everytime something would ignite in me
whenever his name was spoken and I found myself so foolish and stupid for still
having those feelings when he was out with other women and having the time of
I don’t even know what led me to invite him to this.
I really didn’t.
But what I did know was that this time it was my turn to be
happy and have the time of life.
Ignoring the heartache I still held for him, I mirrored
myself and put the mask of happiness on my face.
THE END!!! nah just messing with you sweeties- There will be a part three duh, otherwise I’d torture myself too. ENJOY THIS BECAUSE I GOT A FEW MESSAGES WANTING THIS CHAPTER AND HERE IT IS BEAUTIFUL BEINGS <3333