jeff is better than you

Strip Tutoring // Jeff Atkins // requested

Request : please do a jeff atkins imagine but please dont let him die there iM BEGGIN U

This imagine doesn’t mention his death or the party or anything! Just a regular ‘dating Jeff Atkins’ imagine. Lol

Requests are closed. xx

Warnings : not really smut but… stripping ?…. cheeky!Jeff

Pairings : Jeff x Fem.Reader

Originally posted by jeffreysatkins

Originally posted by ardevaas88

Walking into the library, my eyes scanned over everyone’s faces until I saw my boyfriend sitting with Clay. He looked irritated and pinched the bridge of his nose. Taking a seat at the table, Jeff’s eyes lit up.

“Hey babe.” He smiled. 

I grinned, “How’s he doing, Clay?”

“Depends. Did Abraham Jefferson write the Declaration of Independence?” Clay responded smartly. 

Keep reading

Air B&E (reader x Bucky)

Characters: reader, Bucky, Natasha, Clint, unnamed Male Target, OFC Jeff. 

Summary: When a mission requires close proximity with your least favorite teammate, you try to make the best of it, but a change in plans adds new challenges and possibly a new opportunity. ( basically Bed Sharing Trope meets Enemies to Lovers Trope. Kinda.  :D )

Warnings: sexual situations? pretty vague.  

Word Count: 2.8k

Tags are at the bottom

A/N: Hey, ya’ll !! I’m back from vacation and the idea for this fic was sparked by my sleeping accommodations. heh. I kinda fell in love with it and even made time to write in the evenings after being super tired from traveling. I hope you enjoy this and any feedback is appreciated! Love you guys!! :)



Originally posted by bovaria

“Alright! So here are the keys, the WiFi password is posted on the fridge and let me know if there’s anything you need, anything at all. Okay?” said the overly enthusiastic young man before you.

You accepted the keys with a smile, “Absolutely! Thank you so much, Jeff. It’s even better than the pictures.”  

“I’m so glad,” he grinned. “Well, I’ll leave you to it. It was so nice to meet you both.”

Your eyes flickered to the man beside you, tight smile upon his face. “You, too, man,” he coolly responded.

Resisting the urge to roll your eyes, you clasped the hand of the heavy left arm draped over your shoulders. Technology allowed the metal plates to be shielded with a holographic flesh arm, but it still weighed a ton.

“Bye, Jeff.”

He nodded before stepping out into the hall. The moment the front door lock engaged, you shoved the arm off and put as much space between you two as possible.

“This plan is stupid,” Bucky said with contempt as he collapsed heavily onto the couch.

Keep reading

First time with Jeff would include:
  • Him telling you to let him know if you want to stop at any time

“If it gets too much you can just ask me to stop and i’ll stop whatever im doing”

“I know, i want this babe”

  • He’d initially be too nervous to put his hands anywhere other can your waist or shoulders and you’d get impatient and just grab his hands, placing them on your chest.
  • He’d take his time to make sure he’ making you feel as good as you’re making him feel
  • Lots of nicknames would be used, like lots !! (Baby, babygirl, babe, princess)

“Are you okay Princess?”

“Better than ever Jeff”

  • It would hurt at first but he’d kiss you to try and distract you from the pain
  • Soon enough it’d turn into pleasure and you’d both be a moaning mess
  • Oh boy, the amount of hickeys you’d wake up. It’d be impossible to cover up

“Jeff look what you did!”

So everyone knows you’re mine babe"

Originally posted by knightlley

crash + jeff atkins x reader

a/n: im highkey sorry this sucks- but a monty one is coming next! ♡

requested by: @fuckkoffcourtney

summary: bryce gets into a crash and the reader wonders what would happen if it was Jeff.

“I’m so glad you agreed to stay with me.” You muttered, chewing on candy as the Friends theme song played in the background.

“I am too. You’re better than that party.” Jeff handsomely smiled at you. He seemed a lot sleepier than before.

Today, you decided it was time to put away your dancing shoes. The both of you didn’t want to get drunk, you’d rather stay at home— surrounded by junk food and movies.

Once you and Jeff had your fill of candy— the night pulled its blanked over and wished a good sleep.

It was two o’ clock and you were awoken by the sound of your phone ringing. Rubbing the drowsiness out of your eyes, you answered.

“Hello?” Groggy, Jeff got up too.

‘Who is that?’ Jeff mouthed.


There was hiccups and sobs before she responded.

“U-um. Bryce— he got into an accident.” Jessica sniffed and ended the call. By the time she did that, was already calling Jeff.

“Man, Bryce got into a serious accident. You need to get over here. right now.” His speech was garbled as he tried to get the sentence out. Just like Jess, he ended.

Jeff’s mouth hung open as he stumbled to the coat rack— trying to pull his coat on. You tried to slide on your shoes as fast as you can.

You both drove to the scene.

Once you got there, you saw Bryce being carried out by stretcher. He was battered and bloody. He looked horrific as your hand was clamped over your mouth in shock.

Tears were already streaming down your face, wishing you had never saw the image of Bryce— barely breathing.

Jeff wrestled to keep you from falling, and he succeeded. He led you to the car and let you cry, while he drove. His focus was on the road.

After a while, you finally spoke.

“That could’ve been you.”

“It wasn’t.” Jeff let out through gritted teeth. He wasn’t mad at you, but more at himself.

“It could have! What if— what if you were in that car?” You sobbed some more, your face in your hands. Jeff sighed pulling up to your house and leading you inside.

“Look,” he said— gripping onto your shoulders, “I’m fine. I’m okay. Bryce? He’s not, and we need to accept that. Don’t worry about me because i’m alive and well.” He smiled, one that was broken.

“Okay. Just.. just be careful now. You don’t know what’s going to happen later.” You sighed. Thankfully, you both later got a much needed rest.

Personal Assistant


But what if you were Jeff’s PA and Harry’s always about for meeting etc and you notice him staring at you a little longer but you’ve never had much to do with him and think nothing of it, just another guy celeb looking at the secretary for longer than normal. Then one day you have to drive him somewhere cause Jeff forgot to tell you he’d need a car…

Warnings: None, smut hinted at but no actual smut | 8.2k

You’ve been in the office only an hour and a half and your hair is already tied up in a pony tail. It had been falling down in soft curls around your shoulders, styled that way after your appointment at the hairdressers the previous afternoon. However, a barrage of emails and a non-stop phone line meant it was quite simply annoying within thirty minutes of being at your desk. Normally by this time you’d have filtered through all the emails, sorting them into things that need dealing with before your second coffee and things that can wait. This morning your first coffee, from the place down the road, is untouched and probably cold in it’s takeaway container.

‘Come on Y/L/N in here.’ The voice of your boss pulls you from the email you’re halfway through reading and you turn in your chair to see him entering the office from the door behind you, not alone. You sigh grabbing your conference pad from one of the trays on your desk, your pen and the pile of paperwork that he has actually got to deal with himself. You’re not completely surprised Harry’s here on Jeff’s first day back in LA after a business trip to New York, but you half wish Jeff was alone so you could make a start on some paperwork with him.

Harry holds the door open for you and you smile a thanks as you walk past him taking your usual chair opposite Jeff at his desk. Harry sits in the chair next to you and you don’t miss his stare that lingers over you for a little longer than you’d think acceptable. You cross your legs laying your notepad on your lap and relax a little in the chair. You’ve been working for Jeff for over a year now so you’ve met Harry several times, but each time the lingering stare catches you out and you feel your heartbeat speed up a little inside your chest.

After two years of working your butt off in London to get as much experience under your belt as you could, you finally decided to take the leap and head off to sunny LA to try and bag your dream career. You were there, working in a juice bar for two months before you got the call from Jeff’s office for an interview. You never thought you’d get it, you knew you were exactly what Jeff was looking for, you had the experience and you two hit it off straight away so you knew you could work not just for him but with him, but there were always people better than you. Jeff didn’t think so, within an hour of leaving the interview room you had a call from him telling you the job was yours if you wanted it. As if you’d turn it down.

A year later and you were still there. The pay was good, the perks were good and Jeff was a good boss, and actually hadn’t turned out to be much less than a friend. Though you rarely socialised outside of work, your working relationship was ideal. You both knew how to work hard and play hard and though you shared plenty of banter you knew when it was time to get to work and you both knew the line.

‘You can keep your eyes off her Styles, she’s my pretty assistant, not a chance you’re stealing her off me.’ Jeff joked as he waited for his computer to load both you and Harry chuckling though admittedly slightly uncomfortable but not from Jeff’s words. He often called you his pretty assistant, and some might think that demeaning, but you both knew you were much more to him than that. You both knew he wouldn’t last a day on his own in the office without you. However, Jeff catching Harry staring at you, the same way you had, though you’d decided not to address it,not to even return the gaze, made the situation feel awkward.

‘How was New York?’ You asked, quickly changing the subject, flashing Jeff a smile.

‘It was good, you’ll be coming next time.’ Jeff told you and you snorted a laugh.

‘You say that every time.’ You reminded him and he did. Jeff laughed and you heard Harry let out a noise that sounded a little like laughter but was too quiet and almost under his breath for you too really tell.

‘How’s it been here?’ He asked and you could see he was in business mode now and genuinely wanted to know.

‘All fine,’ You told him with a smile. You stood and placed the mountain of paperwork on his desk, you didn’t miss the eye roll. ‘They all need signing, the top ones by tomorrow, the rest by the end of next week latest.’ You knew he didn’t miss the warning in your voice as he nodded having a quick flick through the paperwork. ‘Davey’s called literally everyday, I can’t fob him off much more Jeff.’ You said sitting back down, he nodded again and you could literally see him thinking.

‘You can see the cogs turning can’t you.’ Harry joked, this time the laughter in his voice more obvious. You turned to look at him and smiled, giggling. You and Harry never really spoke just the odd comment here and there, it wasn’t just Harry, you didn’t converse with many of the clients or people Jeff dealt with. Just enough to be polite and for them to feel comfortable if they had to wait outside Jeff’s office where your desk was, on it’s own.

‘Oi.’ Jeff said looking to Harry and you laughed again. ‘Send him an email for now, tell him I’m back from New York I’m thinking it over and I’ll call him next week.’ You nodded making a note on your pad. ‘Anything else I need to know urgently.’ You shook your head. ‘Great, what time’s Harry’s car coming?’ You raised your eyebrows looking directly at Jeff who shrugged. ‘Why are you looking at me like you don’t know what I’m talking about?’ He asked and you shook your head.

‘Cause I don’t know what you’re talking about Jeff.’ You told him honestly. And Jeff sighed.

‘I told you before I left Harry needed a car after our meeting-’

‘Nope, I didn’t even know Harry was going to be here this morning.’ You told him butting in. For the first few months if you knew Jeff was in the wrong you’d let him get away with it, he was the boss that’s how it worked, but he told you not to. He’d told you it wasn’t your fault if he’d made a mistake and you had to let him know because it wasn’t fair for you to get the blame. It took a little while for you to get your head around it, you’d never challenged a boss over something before, they were your boss after all but eventually you got used to it.

‘Oh shit.’ Jeff said scraping his hands through his black hair. You looked to Harry who was staring at Jeff a slightly amused grin on his face. He caught your eye and winked, you simply and quickly looking away. ‘Ok you’re going to have to take him Y/N.’ You looked at Jeff eyebrows raised. ‘Don’t look at me like that, I know it’s my fault but I can’t take him I’ve got that other meeting.’ You sighed. Jeff rarely forgot things but you never did and you knew this wasn’t your mistake but you also knew you couldn’t say no. There was a line.

‘What time?’ You asked looking at the clock. You still had emails to get through sorting yet, you hadn’t even started replying to them and it was already 10.30.

‘The meeting is at 11.30, leave here about quarter past.’ Jeff told you and you nodded. ‘To make it up to you I’ll have these done by the time you get back.’ Jeff said pointing at the pile of paperwork in front of him. You chuckled and shook your head.

‘No you won’t.’ You told him knowing well enough that Jeff wouldn’t start signing the paperwork until at least an hour before you needed them done. Jeff tried to challenge you, but you turned to Harry and interrupted. ‘Harry I bet you a year’s salary that Jeff won’t have that paper work done by the time I get back.’ Harry chuckled and looked back to Jeff who also had a smile on his face.

‘Fine, well thanks for that, you can go now.’ Jeff said to you an amused tone in his voice. You stood and left the room your smile instantly dropping. Driving Harry anywhere was not on your to do list ever, let alone today when it was the busiest day of your week. You just wanted to get everything finished and tied up so you could go home on time and enjoy your weekend without worrying about what you’d left behind.

You slumped into your chair at your desk and peered through the window between yours and Jeff’s office. The blinds were slightly open meaning you could just about see into Jeff and Harry’s meeting. Harry was relaxed back in his chair, you couldn’t see much of him but you could see his side profile and the index finger of his left hand that he had resting on his lips. He nodded his head every now and again as Jeff spoke. It was when Jeff turned his head to his computer screen that Harry turned his to the window and saw you staring. You quickly looked away to your own screen, feeling your cheeks reddening, but not missing Harry’s smug grin. You dropped your head into your hand so if he was still staring all he could see was the back of your head and you pretended to busy yourself with emails whilst you waited for the embarrassment from being caught staring to fade.

It would be a lie to say you didn’t find him attractive. How could you not? He had eyes you could drown in and a bone structure that could cut you. He was darkly intriguing but kind and warm. You couldn’t help yourself but look at him from time to time. It wasn’t a crush it was just an admiration of a good looking man.

You ploughed through your emails for the next hour, replying to as many as you could and making a note of the most important ones to get around to when you got back. You answered the phone every three minutes only to tell the caller that Jeff was in meetings all day but you’d take a message and get him to call them back. And you would try but you’d ultimately fail. Anyone who Jeff really needed to talk to would call his mobile if it was urgent, anyone else could call the office and try again at a later time. Five past eleven didn’t take long to roll around and you hadn’t got nearly as much done as you wanted and you knew it was highly unlikely you’d get out of the office by quitting time.

You took yourself off to the bathroom for a freshen up, grabbing your bag from under your desk as you went. Checking yourself in the mirror you took your hair out of the tie holding it in its ponytail and letting it fall down around your shoulders however it wanted to. You moved it around a little so it didn’t look so much like you’d just woken up until you were happy. You were pleased to see the small amount of makeup you chose to wear to work was still in place. You quickly added a swipe of your new favourite lipgloss before spritzing your neck and wrists with your perfume and leaving the bathroom.

As you made your way through the office back to yours you could see Jeff and Harry already standing in your part of the office talking. You opened the door with your smile holding your bag down by your ankles and moving a little closer to Harry and Jeff. They both looked at you as you approached them and you knew they could tell something was different than when you were in Jeff’s office earlier but you weren’t sure they could tell what.

‘Here take the Rover.’ Jeff said dangling a set of keys on his finger. You recognised them from the few times Jeff had left them on your desk for the mechanic or the valet to come and collect the car. You took them from him and held them in your hand a little nervous at driving something that probably cost more than your apartment. ‘And treat yourself to lunch.’ He added flicking some plastic towards you - the company credit card. You took it from between his index and middle finger.

‘Thanks.’ You said with a slight smile. ‘And if you get a chance that paperwork really does need doing by tomorrow.’ Jeff nodded knowing you were being serious about it now. He said goodbye to you before turning to Harry to wish him goodbye also, although you didn’t hear their parting conversation as you headed for the door. You stood with your back to the door holding it open, waiting for Harry to join you.

‘Alright love?’ He asked and you nodded as you turned walking out of the office space toward the lift. Harry following you and the rest of the walk there silent. Harry pressed the button to summon the lift and you both stood staring at the closed doors waiting for them to open. They finally did and Harry outstretched his hand motioning for you to go first you thanked him with a smile and stepped into the lift turning back to the door, Harry joining you seconds later and standing next to you. The small space of the lift meant you could feel the heat radiating from his bare arms onto yours, a feeling which quickly spread through you.

‘I prefer your hair down.’ Harry said his voice taking you slightly by surprise despite his soft, slow, drawling voice. You looked up at him from your height disadvantage despite the slightly heeled boots you were wearing and he was already looking down at you to meet his eyes, a coy smile on his face.

‘Thanks.’ You said creasing your eyebrows. ‘I think.’ You added slightly unsure how to take it

‘It’s definitely a compliment.’ He assured you to which you simply nodded looking back away from him towards the door and the buttons of the lift which were blinking out as you lowered down the floors too slowly for your liking. ‘You can talk to me y’know.’

‘I know, I’m just not exactly sure what to say.’ You admitted as cooly as you could. The doors of the lift opening and you making your way out into the main lobby  ‘This way.’ You instructed walking towards the car park of the building rather than the main entrance that Harry was obviously used to entering through judging by the way he went to leave the building.

‘Well whatever you’d say to anyone else, I am a normal person.’ You simply nodded in response to his statement as you pushed the door open into the dark car park, lit by dim orange lights. ‘Come on you can talk to Jeff the way you did back then you can talk to me, he’s way more scary than me.’ Harry challenged walking behind you, following you towards the Range Rover parked in the same space it always was.

‘Maybe but I know Jeff a lot better than you.’ You reminded him hitting the button on the key fob to unlock the car. You walked around to the driver’s side and hopped in, Harry already in with his door shut by the time you did so. He was looking at you as you closed your own door, pulled your seatbelt on, started the car and chucked it in drive.

‘What do you know about Jeff that you don’t know about me?’ Harry questioned. You realised he’d simply been waiting for you to be in a position to concentrate on the conversation once again as now you were driving out of the car park his eyes were on the road rather than you.

‘Your birthday, your coffee order, your girlfriend’s name, basically everything.’ You told him as you pulled out into the stream of traffic. ‘Can you grab my sunglasses from my bag?’ You asked, the LA sunshine blinding you slightly. Harry reached behind your seat pulling your bag onto his lap and rummaging around until he found the Ray Ban case and pulled the sunglasses out handing them to you. You put the tortoise shell framed, pink polarised lenses on quickly checking yourself in the rear view before focusing completely on the road. Only realising afterwards that considering you were having an argument about not being able to talk to him to because you didn’t know him well enough, that you’d just asked him to do something quite forward. You shrugged it off concentrating on driving and listening to Harry’s response who seemed to think nothing of your request.

‘Ok so first of February, americano iced or hot depends on the weather, with milk if I’m feeling crap, no girlfriend.’ Harry reeled the list of like it was second nature and you nodded along taking it in. ‘So now we can talk normally?’ He questioned, looking at you again, you smirked slightly before responding.

‘I guess cause I mean there’s like literally nothing we don’t know about each other now.’ Your voice was dripping with sarcasm and you were glad Harry saw the humour in it, chortling to the side of you and looking out of his window.  ‘Sorry, so nervous for your meeting?’ You asked changing the subject not wanting him to think you were a complete narcissistic bitch.

‘Not particularly just finalising some things.’ He told you nonchalantly, scrunching up his nose to add to the offhand-ness of the comment.  ‘Let’s not talk about work hey?’ He asked and you agreed with a bow of your head. ‘So what about you birthday, coffee order, boyfriends name?’

‘Twenty first of June, large cappuccino, no boyfriend.’ You told him well aware you were both flirting with the idea of flirting with one another and now you’d both affirmed the pair of you were equally single you felt the atmosphere change slightly.

‘Get out of town no boyfriends, what are you talking about?’ The exaggerated shock in Harry’s voice made you giggle and you shook your head.

‘Are you flirting with me Harry?’ You asked calling him out but he didn’t blush or sink back.

‘Maybe a little, would it be such a bad thing?’ He asked suavely. You shook your head this time flicking your eyes in his direction, away from the road just for a second. ‘That’s good.’ He smiled confidently. ‘I saw you staring earlier.’ He said cockily and you glanced at him again. He was staring at you now, his tongue resting on his left canine tooth.

‘I saw you staring earlier.’ You quipped and he let out a throaty chuckle.

‘Fair enough.’ You felt a coy smile taking over and you chewed on your mouth to prevent it being seen.  ‘So maybe I could take you for dinner?’ He proposed with confidence.

‘I’m not sure that would be appropriate.’ You told him any sort of smile leaving your face. It was a bit of fun in the car but you knew that’s all it could be.

‘What do you mean?’ Harry was clearly a little taken aback, the slight drunkenness in his voice having now disappeared.

‘Well I work for Jeff and you’re Jeff’s client, I think that might be overstepping some boundaries.’ You explained regretting the admission but knowing it was right.

‘Oh come on Jeff wouldn’t mind.’ He implored, begging with you almost without actually begging. ‘We wouldn’t have to tell him if that would make you feel better.’ Harry suggested raising his eyebrows, you saw out of the corner of your eye.

‘I can’t Harry, sorry.’ You ascertained finally.

‘Oh come on, we’re having a good time, you don’t want to carry on?’ He flirted with conviction clearly trying to win you back around. You could hear the lustful playfulness in his voice and the way he let his words draw out even more than normal. You ignored the way it made you feel and shook your head. ‘It’s only dinner.’ He added less flirtatiously and slightly more agitated.  

‘We’re here.’ You said bringing an end to the pointless back and forth. ‘I’ll sort a car out to come and get you.’ You informed him as he unclipped his seatbelt.

‘You mean you’re not picking me up?’ He asked turning to you and letting his hand fall on your mid thigh. It almost burned but you didn’t flinch away, just swallowed and shook your head. ‘Well that’s a shame, I’ll talk to you later.’ You nodded, at least letting him belief he would as he squeezed your thigh clearly enjoying watching the effect he was having on you take over before he opened the car door drawing his hand back of your thigh and closing the door behind him. Disappearing away.

‘Shit.’ You hissed checking your wing mirror before driving off down the road not even looking to check Harry had gone into the building.

You grabbed a salad and an iced latte to take back to the office and ate it at your desk in between replying to emails. Jeff didn’t leave the office to welcome you back, or for the majority of the afternoon apart from to grab himself some food and a coffee. He took the car keys and credit card back off you when you returned but that was the most interaction you had. You could see into his office that he was working through the pile of paperwork in between phone calls and you smiled gratefully even though he couldn’t see you. Your company phone buzzing on your desk distracted you from the five minutes you were taking to enjoy the last of your salad.

Wishing you’d just said yes? Harry

You rolled your eyes as you read the message not even needing to get to the signature to know who it was from. You dropped your fork back into the plastic bowl and leant over the device so you could reply without Jeff seeing you using the phone. He’d only question it, he knew as well as you did that you rarely used it. You hated Jeff for a second for giving Harry the card that detailed your work mobile number as well as his own but you knew this wasn’t really his fault.

This is a work phone Harry

Let’s hope Jeff doesn’t tap your messages then

Harry seriously

Well give me your number so we can organise dinner

No Harry I told you

Fine I’ll just keep bugging you here then

Did you like my hand on your thigh earlier?

Ok that’s enough

I thought you were meant to be a nice guy,

I am

You’re blackmailing me into this

Only cause I know deep down you want to

Fine one dinner that’s it

Great I’ll pick you up from the office after work

I need to get changed

Ok text me your address and I’ll pick you up at 8


If you don’t I’ll be outside the office

You are blackmailing me

You love it

You smiled despite yourself, Jeff’s office door opening distracting you. You locked the phone as discreetly as you could, beaming a smile at Jeff to divert his attention.

‘What’s wrong with you?’ He asked and you shook your head as he handed a pile of paperwork over the desk to you. ‘Half way through’s pretty good hey?’ You nodded and giggled.

‘Thanks, that’s great I’ll get them sent off.’ Jeff nodded thanking you as you put them in the appropriate tray in your desk organiser. ‘You off?’ You asked him noticing the keys in his hand, the same ones you’d held onto earlier.

‘Yeah, feeling it a little after the flight.’ You chuckled rolling your eyes mockingly at Jeff. You didn’t miss the humoured smile he flashed. ‘Don’t hang around here too late tonight, if you’re still here at 5.30 I’m docking pay.’ He winked and you shook your head.

‘Have a nice weekend, I’ll see you Monday.’ He nodded wishing you the same before walking out of your office. Once he’d gone you quickly texted Harry your address from your own mobile and deleted his texts from the work one. You ignored his reply, determined to get through the rest of your emails in the last half an hour or your day.

Five thirty came around and you decided for once you’d take Jeff’s advice and leave on time with a few things still left to do but nothing that couldn’t wait. There were a couple of people still in the main office as you left and you wished them goodbye with a slight wave heading down the same way you and Harry had gone earlier to your own, far less glamorous, car. You couldn’t help but notice how much less entertaining the walk was as well as the car journey back to your apartment.

By the time you got home the sun had long set and the air had chilled to something that would have been comfortable back home in London but now, you were accustomed to LA weather, felt chilly. You headed into the apartment of your building choosing to take the stairs the guilt of the gym membership that hadn’t been used for two weeks now weighing heavy on you.Your apartment was dark when you got in, the blinds for the only window in the open plan living-kitchen-diner, shut. You turned the light on and headed for the fridge cracking open the bottle of white wine in the door deciding a glass of dutch courage was just what you needed ahead of your ‘date’.

You showered quickly trying your best not let your hair get even a drop of water on it. You had it secured on top your head and wore a shower cap as well that you’d received as a joke and only used a couple of times previous. Your hair still looked reasonable from the hairdressers and you knew not having to do anything to it would take a good percentage of time off how long it would take you get ready. Following your shower you laid on your bed for some time in only your towel scrolling through social media and enjoying your glass of wine. It wasn’t until a text from Harry flashed up telling you he was on his way that you decided it was about time you got up and got dressed. You knew what you wearing and it didn’t take you long to find the black jeans and white off the shoulder, silk blouse. It was simple but fail-safe. You went for simple makeup as always, a thin layer of foundation, a little concealer under your eyes and on any blemishes, some bronzer to help you look less tired, a few coats of mascara and eyebrow pencil just to fill in the gaps.You swiped a nude lip paint on just as your door bell rang. You smiled happy with the timing, never having been someone who liked to wait around. You spritzed on some perfume before heading to the door. You left your apartment with a bag containing your keys, phone and purse and that was it.

Harry was stood at the door of the apartment complex, you didn’t catch his eye but noticed his all black outfit. Black skinny jeans, the same as every time you’d seen him, a black shirt and a black silk scarf underneath probably tied lower down underneath the shirt where you couldn’t see. You smiled from the other side of the door before opening it. Harry smiled sweetly back as you joined him on his side of the door leaning down and politely kissing both your cheeks, the door closing by itself behind you.

‘You look incredible.’ He told you confidently and honestly you smiled bashfully thanking him.

‘You don’t look to bad yourself.’ He led you towards the car that was still running and waiting for you both. ‘Where are we going?’ You asked, Harry holding the car door open for you so you could slide in. He slid in beside you closing the door before the driver pulled away.

‘Just a quiet little place I know.’ He told you and you believed him. You could imagine dining in the busy restaurants in the city only got annoying when people recognised you all the time. You were interested to see where you’d end up but relaxed back in the seat just going with it and not prying anymore into the location of the restaurant. The drive was fairly quiet asking about each other’s afternoon that you both could have guessed the answers to but not wanting to really talk when the driver could so blatantly hear your conversation.

‘Here we are Mr Styles.’ The driver said turning the interior lights of the car on. Harry opened the door thanking the driver as he slid out, you followed him and joined him on the pavement. Harry stuck his head back in the car talking to the driver and you took the time to take in the restaurant. You could tell it was an Italian but it wasn’t one you’d noticed before and you knew it wasn’t going to be super fancy. It looked dark and quiet and you wondered how Harry had found it. When he joined you again he laid his hand on your lower back, pushing the silk of your top against the bare skin there.

‘Ok love?’ You nodded as you had earlier when he asked the same question back in the office but with less anxiety in your stomach. He directed you towards the entrance of the restaurant as expected pulling the door open for you and letting you enter first. The restaurant was warm and a fair few of the tables were full but they were too engrossed in their own food to notice you and Harry enter. The dim lights cast shadows around the place that made it feel more traditional than other, chain Italian restaurants you’d been in.

‘Ah Harry how are you?’ A loud Italian voice bellowed and you turned to it. A young Italian man was approaching you, his black hair slicked back and dressed in a white shirt and black trousers. You looked up at Harry who had a cheerful grin spread across his face, his cheeks dimpled and his perfect teeth on show. ‘Ah a lady friend tonight, you have come to the perfect place for romance young Mr Styles.’ Harry chuckled at the man who was now stood in front of you looking from you to Harry.

‘You got the normal table Tony?’ Harry asked and the man you now knew the name of nodded telling you both to follow him. Harry touched your back again and you followed Tony around the restaurant to a much quieter spot, no one else on any of the tables around. Tony stood next to a small booth, raised slightly and designed for two diners. You smiled and slid in Harry doing the same opposite you.

‘Your menus.’ Tony said placing menus down on the table and looking at Harry. ‘Your normal wine Mr Styles?’ Harry nodded muttering a thanks before Tony gave a slight bow and left you to it.

‘You come here a lot huh?’ You commented with a cheeky grin. Harry chuckled and nodded.

‘One of the only places I can eat around here without getting papped.’ He admitted grabbing a menu and handing the other to you. You thanked him glancing at it quickly. You had to wonder how many other girls he’d bought here but you tried not to think about the ones you knew he’d been associated with and the potential others you knew nothing about and instead decided to focus on enjoying an evening out with who was, essentially, a stranger.

‘You do like Italian right?’ Harry asked a slight concern in his voice. You nodded quickly reassuring him.

‘Yeah love it.’ You told him emphatically and he smiled glancing back at the menu. ‘What’s good?’ You questioned him, doing the same and scanning the items on the menu. Of course some of it you recognised but others you didn’t.

‘Well what do you fancy, pizza, pasta, meat, fish?’ He asked you dropping his menu slightly so he could look you. You thought about it, pursing your lips in as you did so.

‘I’ll tell you what, you order for me.’ You challenged with a cocky smile. Harry raised his eyebrows and grinned.

‘Ok fine, you’re not allergic to anything are you?’ He asked and you shook your head. He smiled dropping his menu completely and sliding it back to the end just as Tony returned with the bottle of red. He poured a little in Harry’s glass for him to taste which Harry did, you stifling a giggle as he imitated someone who knew what they were doing. Harry chuckled and told Tony it was fine allowing Tony to fill both your glasses.

‘Are you ready to order?’ Tony asked and Harry nodded lifting the menu.

‘Can we just get two of those please?’ Harry pointed to something on the menu you couldn’t see, Tony nodded with a grin before walking away again. Harry looked back to you with a smile. ‘It’s my favourite I think you’ll love it.’ You smiled back and took a sip of the wine.

You continued to quiz each other until the food arrived. Harry entertaining you with stories that you couldn’t match, he’d lived a far more exciting life than you have but even so he asked you about it and seemed genuinely interested when you talked about yourself, laughing in all the right places and nodding along, looking at you as you talk, dropping your eyes to the glass of wine you’re holding onto lightly. You almost feel slightly sad when you see Tony rounding the corner towards you with your food. That doesn’t stop him though he continues to ask you a last couple of questions and talk like you’ve got hours until you’re interrupted.

‘Two beef and red wine ravioli.’ Tony said making it sound beautiful when he says it with his un-effected Italian accent. He places one plate down in front of you both, you smile thanks shaking your head when he asks if he can get you anything else before he disappears again.

‘It looks lovely’ You comment still wearing a smile looking at the plate of pasta parcels coated in a rich red sauce. Harry nods picking up his fork and tucking in. You doing the same taking the first bite, the taste on your tongue incredible. You nod to Harry’s questioning look, swallowing so you can tell him how good it is. ‘It’s delicious.’ He smiles proudly and continues to eat.

It wasn’t until Harry interrupted you both half way through your meal to ask for another bottle wine that you realised between you, you’d already finished the first. You allowed him to fill your glass again as you continued to talk and finish your plates. It wasn’t until halfway through the second bottle that you felt Harry’s foot find your leg, intertwining them and grazing his booted foot and up and down your calf. It wasn’t until you finished eating you noticed the effect the wine was having on you. Your head was light, not spinning but not completely normal, you were sure you’d have to stand slowly when it finally came to it.

‘Good?’ Harry asked moving both your plates to the end of the table, both empty. You nodded wiping the corners of your mouth with your napkin and taking the final mouthful of the wine in your glass. Harry moved to refill it again, the second bottle on its last legs and nearly ready to join the first, but you prevented him putting your hand over the glass and shaking your head.

‘That’s enough for me thank you.’ You told him and he chuckled placing the bottle on the table again and finishing his own glass, watching you darkly over the rim. Suddenly you had an inkling you were looking at more than dinner, maybe it was the wine talking but you didn’t mind as much as you thought you might have done earlier on. You certainly made no move to push him away, the simple gesture making your whole leg tingle.

‘Well maybe I should call the car?’ Harry’s suggestive tone matched the look on his face, you simply nodded to which he grinned, pulling his phone from his pocket and not taking his eyes from you as he lifted it to his ear and arranged for his car to collect you and take you both to his house. You could have stopped him several times but you didn’t, you both knew where this was going now and you didn’t want it to stop. Despite your earlier doubts you found yourself succumbing to him, but he was doing the same and maybe it was the wine clouding your mind but even as you looked ahead to the next morning you couldn’t see yourself regretting it.

An hour or so later and you were exactly where you thought you’d be. Pushed up against Harry’s front door, his hands either side of your head and his lips attacking your neck with kisses and playful nips. Your hands were working on his belt, tugging it at it to release it before making light work of the buttons securing his jeans over his ever hardening crotch. He let out a deep, guttural moan as your hand slipped in between his tight boxers and his jeans, palming him gently at first but upping the anti with the sound that left his mouth. His hands made their way down the door, slipping under your thighs and lifting you with ease from the floor. You wrapped your legs around his waist and let him carry you wherever he thought best, hoping he knew his house well as you attached your lips to his as he walked, his fingers gripping your thighs tightly as your tongue flicked into his mouth. He dropped you onto a couch not letting your lips go as he crawled on top of you attacking the button of your jeans.

‘You sure?’ He questioned, talking against your lips. You nodded letting out a quiet moan as his hand dipped into the front of your jeans.


You felt unreasonably anxious as you walked into the office on Monday morning. You’d tried not to dress any smarter or any less casual, your hair was in a high, long ponytail, the same make up as always on your face. You didn’t want to draw attention to yourself. There was no reason Harry would have told Jeff about your evening together but there was also a lot of reasons he would. Jeff was Harry’s friend, you hoped he’d realise why it wouldn’t be a good idea and you were sure he would but even the tiniest amount of doubt in your mind was too much.

You’d woken up in Harry’s bed, his Kiss T-Shirt covering your body as well as his duvet. You’re memory was completely intact, you knew exactly where you were and who should be lying next to you and as anticipated you didn’t regret a second of it. You’d shared an incredible evening and even though you knew you probably shouldn’t have done it, your body craved him from the minute you saw him stood at your door the previous evening. As you got to know him better and you conversed with one another through the evening you soon realised it was a little more than lust. You spent that whole day in his Kiss T-Shirt. He made you pancakes and you ordered pizza to eat together in front of the TV with a movie on. You spent that night with him and enjoyed each other’s bodies all over again, discovering new things about one another and learning new ways to relish in one another. You were fully aware, even if this never happened again, it was more than a hook up, more than a one night stand.

Jeff was already in his office that morning. He had a tight white shirt on, only the top button undone and he looked as well put together as always. You smiled when he looked up at you and you went straight through, the open office door the only invitation you needed. You placed one of the takeaway coffee’s down on his desk as you greeted him.

‘Good weekend?’ You asked him with a smile hoping he’d simply nod and ask you the same as he always did. He did nod.

‘Yes thanks, need to go over a couple of things with you this morning.’ He said. You nodded trying not to show any hesitancy in complying with his request. You were sure it was just about the paperwork he had in front of him, if it was about you and Harry he would have worded it differently, there would have been more of a warning tone but even so you felt anxious about what was sure to be a normal Monday meeting. You took your jacket off and hung it with Jeff’s before putting your bag by your desk and grabbing your conference pad.

Jeff smiled at you as you re-entered and you felt a little easier for it. You sat at your normal seat and for some reason wished Harry was sitting down in the one next to you as he had done on Friday morning.

‘I’m heading off to New York again in a couple of weeks.’ Jeff started and you made a note of it on your pad.

‘Do I get to come this time?’ You quipped as you wrote, making sure to smile to ensure Jeff knew it was a joke. You didn’t expect to go. You knew he could say you’d be going with him the next time every time until the end of your employment and he’d still never take you. He preferred to keep you in LA where you could keep everything under control for him.

‘You’ll be going to London.’ You looked up at him quickly. You sure you looked shocked and confused because that’s how you felt.

‘What?’ You asked. ‘Why?’ For a second you thought he was getting rid of you but really you knew what this was about and you swallowed when you remembered. You’d been sat on Harry’s bed cross legged facing him, your hands cradling a mug of coffee his doing the same though he only needed one of his large hands to grip onto the mug fully. He’d come out with it from nowhere and all of a sudden.

‘I want you to come to London with me.’ You nearly spat your coffee out, assuming he was messing around but one look at his face told you he wasn’t. His eyes were narrowed slightly and his lips pursed. ‘I’m serious, I want you to be my assistant.’ He told you and you shook your head. There was no way you could do that, especially in London. You’d left London to come out and do exactly what you were doing. You were living your dream. You wanted to work with someone in the music and entertainment business and you were working with one of the biggest there was. You had no desire, at all, to change that. ‘Oh come on Y/N think how much fun we’d have.’ He winked at you and you felt disgusted at both yourself and him.

‘Oh my god no.’ You said moving quickly from the bed. You put your coffee on the side and started hunting for your jeans and your other clothes that had remained on the floor after your first night with Harry that now made you feel sick.

‘I didn’t mean it like that Y/N stop.’ He tried to convince you to get back on his bed but you couldn’t even look at him as you pulled your jeans on.

‘I’m not some sex worker who’s going to follow you around London so you can get your kicks.’ You spat angrily at him grabbing your bag that you hadn’t taken anything from for the whole time you’d been with Harry. You didn’t take his t-shirt off but stormed through the large penthouse suite away from him. He was following you quickly and you heard him put down his mug before he grabbed your wrist and pulled you back towards him just before you reached the door.

‘I know you’re not, that’s not what I meant, I was joking.’ He tried to reassure you and you listened but you weren’t taking any of it to heart. His drown-worthy eyes and sharp bone structure wasn’t going to pull you in again. ‘You’re incredible at what you do and I want you to work for me, in London, I’m not asking you, not even a little bit, because I want to keep sleeping with you.’ He told you, you could see the sincerity in his eyes but you didn’t care for it. You pulled your hand from his grip and turned away from him leaving his apartment without another word.

‘Harry wants you as his assistant while he’s back in London for a while.’ Jeff told you and you were back in the moment. You shook your head not sure what to say or do.

‘I like working for you, I want to work for you.’ You told him, feeling a little hurt but more concerned about the fact you didn’t want to go to London with Harry but not sure how you could get out of it without finding yourself jobless.

‘Y/N I’m telling you to, you’ll be working for Harry but really you’ll be working for me.’ He told you and you knew that made sense but you’d still be Harry’s assistant. ‘Go to London, take some holiday and see your family, you haven’t been back since you’ve been with me.’ He reminded you and you and that did sound appealing. The only downside of living your dream was that your family where so far away and in a different time zone.

‘How long’s it for?’ You asked tentatively.

‘Two months at the moment it might be longer yet.’ He told you and you nodded biting your lip, mulling it over.

‘I’m not going to force you to go if you really, really don’t want to, but I think when it actually comes to it you do want to go.’ Jeff said and suddenly you hated that he was just as much your friend as your boss, why had you let him get to know you so well? He was catching you out left, right and centre. ‘It’ll be good for your career, give you some new experiences and the chance to do something a bit different, you won’t be tied to an office for a start.’ Jeff told you and you nodded appreciating what he was saying. ‘So shall I book your ticket?’ He asked cautiously. You sighed and looked up at the ceiling. You knew Harry didn’t mean what he’d said, you knew you’d overreacted and the opportunity that was being handed to you on a plate, because you’d been requested because of how good you were at your job, was too good to pass up. You knew that and you nodded to Jeff who smiled.

‘Good, now go get to work.’ He said playfully and you chuckled lightly looking at your notepad and tapping it, before standing and making for the door. ‘Oh and if you’re into Italian restaurants there’s a really good one just outside London, I’ll have to give one of you the number.’ You turned your head back to him quickly and he was sat reclining in his seat a knowing and cocky look on his face. You could feel your cheeks reddening and Jeff just laughed. ‘I find out everything Y/N you know that, it’s a good job I like you.’ You smiled despite yourself and the scarlet tone you were sure your cheeks were sporting. ‘I need to make a call now so if you shut the door please?’ You nodded and left the room glad Jeff didn’t make any more of the situation. You sat down at the desk and turned your computer on, grabbing your phone from your bag whilst you waited for it to load.

Alright boss? ;)

HA knew you wouldn’t be able to resist

So I’ll just pack the shirt you left at mine in my case for London

I guess so

Do you want to meet for lunch? I think I owe you an apology for how I reacted the other day

You really don’t owe me an apology but I’m definitely up for lunch

Meet you outside the office at 1?

Perfect, see you then.

Headcanon No. 30

Fighting and Body headcanons

Jeff: He’s pretty lean. He falls into the ‘Quick Fight’ Category. Which means he needs to be agile and thinner in order to dodge people who try to fight back. But he can easily knock someone out. Of course, he’s stealthy, so he can kill easily without being noticed. In case he needs a quick escape he can jump out the window no problem

Laughing Jack: A tall spindly boi. His ribcage is terrifying. The way his body is built makes him look like a caricature. When he fights he will snake around his victim and use his claws to hold them in place before he eats them. His scent is like that of a carnivorous flower, it draws children near him.  It’s truly a sight to behold. When he eats his victims his jaw will unhinge like a boas constrictor’s. 

Eyeless Jack: He is built. Before he turned into a man eating demon he worked out when he was in college. He likes routine so he maintains his regimen even now that he is a demon. When he is hunting he crawls on all fours. His nails are exceptionally sharp and they help him climb things like buildings. He can’t go up too far though or else his arms will give out. When he finds a suitable meal he while wait till they sleep then stand above them and breathe heavily until they wake up. This is purely to scare the shit out of them. When they wake up he grabs them and knocks them out before biting their wrist and dragging them out of the house. He only acts this way when he hunts. He is rather civilized when he isn’t searching for his next meal.

Jane: She is curvy but fast. She hits hard and is a perfect match in a fight against Jeff. When she fights him or anyone who aids him she is quick to dodge. She uses her surroundings as weapons/protection and utilizes trickery as her main weapon. Jeff lacks intelligence and Jane lacks immense strength. They balance eachother out resulting in hour long fights. 

Masky: He doesn’t like exercising but being on the run all the time makes up for it. Jane likes sleeping on him. She says he is comfy. When he fights he uses what’s around him. A pole or piece of wood works for him. A gun is a rare tool for him because he’s usually caught without one. 

Hoodie: He’s lean like Jeff. His forte is guns and close quarter fighting, small concealable knives work a charm when he gets into a rough situation. He can duck away from punches easily and has a strong left hook that rivals Jeff’s. 

Toby: He has a bit more muscle than Jeff. When he swings his hatchets you better duck because they could take your head off in one swoop. He is what one would call a ‘doesn’t fucking look where he’s fucking swinging’ fighter. He causes a lot of damage in just one fight and his accuracy is off. Most of the time he is enraged at the person he is killing because of whatever the person did. He goes after people like his father. 

Please note that I do not think these headcanons are gospel to the stories. This is just how I first imagined them. I actually like some others’ headcanons and have imagined them like that more than I imagine the Pastas and Hornets as my own headcanons.

what’s your favourite version of hallelujah? mine is k. d. lang’s cover


Anon asked: Could you write a Jefferson imagine? He gets jealous and you have to assume him, you only love him.

So here it is anon, thank you. :)


You were sitting for breakfast at Granny’s, your boyfriend Jefferson with you. The two of you are dating quite a while now, 5 months exactly and you cant imagine a life without him. Jefferson’s the most loving, caring, charming yet funny human you’ve ever met.

Suddenly the door swung open and David stepped in the room. He was actually your boss but also a great friend.
You excused yourself and made your way over to him.

“Hey David” you smiled at him. “Oh hey Y/N, good to see you, actually great to see you!” he admitted as he gave you a hug. “Why so glad? Whats up? Extra work?” you asked.
“Yeah, you have to help me, we have a thief in the city and I can’t wait to meet our new guest. It could take longer, care to make a trip into the woods in the afternoon?” “Of cause, boss!” you said happy, this was your first big opportunity.

“What was that about?” Jefferson asked even before you could take a seat again. “ His expression made you giggle a bit. “David just asked for my help to find the thief! We’ll be out in the woods in the afternoon and maybe till late evening. Isn’t this exciting?!” “Oh jeah that’s- that’s great babe!” he muttered with a fake smile. Now you clearly could tell he was jealous. He never really liked the fact that you work for David, because you always were a good friend of him. Jeff was always afraid there could be more.

“I love you, you know that, right?” you asked him. “Yeah” he smiled, now truly. “And I love you” he gave you a pack on the lips and finished your breakfast in peace.

Just a few hours later you already were in the woods with David. You were so excited for your very first ‘gangster hunting’ like you called it. Okay, it was just a little thief but better than nothing you guessed. However you explained Jeff that he really could trust you and that you love him, only him. After a while you were able to get him to the point where he wasn’t jealous.

“Soo, where should we go first, boss?” you asked teasingly. “Just call me David, how often do I have to tell you?” he laughed. “Boss clearly sounds cooler, but whatever you want… David.” “Alright, Granny said, the last time she saw this guy, he ran in this direction. Maybe he found shelter somewhere in there.” he pointed directly in the deepest part of the woods. “Oh classy, looks like we have much work to do.” you stated not really amused about the fact that your thief hunting could take longer then you tought. But still you were too excited to go back. So the two of you made your way into the dark of the woods.

The hours went by and as you thought it took clearly longer. Actually you had no idea what time it was. “Oh hey David?” you whispered. “Hmh?” “What time is it already?” As his expression told you, he forgot totally about the time too. “Oh crap! It’s already long after 2 a.m. Y/N!” You eyes widened, what woul Jeff think? “Oh holy shit! We should go back, shouldn’t we?” “Yeah, there is no chance to find him here. Guess we have to wait till he shows up in the city…” David admitted quite disapointed. And with that your disappointment grew maybe larger than his. But you had to go back to Jeff.

As you made your way back you just saw somewhat like a shadow, a little movement on the side of the forest way. You jumped a little in surprise wich caused David to take a hold of your shoulders. Maybe the thief? You hold your breath but David was right next to you with a gun, no one could hurt you. Slowly a person walked into the light of your little pocket lamp. As it came closer you began to recognize him. “Jefferson?” “Y/N!” now he ran straight towards you, but there was something different. “Wh- what are you doing here?” you asked confused while David let his gun sink and breathed out lightly. “What do you think? Looking after you, looking if you were hurt. Who knows what all could have happend to you!” his voice raised “… But sorry if I interrupted something” he mumbled with a much quiter voice. David and you changed looks of shock for a second when you turned your attention to Jeff again you didn’t know if you should cuddle him or smack him for even thinking you could have had a make out session with David. He looked you straight in the eyes with a sad and also upset expression. “I- uhm will go further now… You know the way home from here i guess…” David said awkwardly. “Stop.” Jeff demanded. “What did you do with my girl.” he spoke up with a sudden rage in his voice. You never saw him like this before. “What? Jefferson, i would never harm Y/N or try to touch her you kn-” and without any sign Jeff punched David across the face. “Jefferson!” you yelled and stepped between them with a death glare for Jeff. This always showed him he’d gone to far and you were really pissed off. Eventually he looked at you and calmed a bit. “Tell me what you’ve done so long!” “It’s called thief hunting, I explained it to you! Granny said the guy would be deep in the dark parts, you know how large they are?” you asked annoyed. “Sure, we met there. You tried to kill me” he said and couldn’t hide a grin. “Glad I, didn’t.” you smirked. David already made his way back. He knew we could handle each other alone.

After a little awkward silence he spoke up or whispers more. “There wasn’t anything between you and David?” “Jeff, I love you. More than anything in the world. And I am pretty sure with no one I could have better make out sessions in the woods than you.” smirking you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a long passionate kiss.

When you finally broke the kiss you weren’t able to speak for a moment. You looked him deeply in his shining eyes. “Convinced?” you asked still brethless. “Not yet” he smirked, pushed you against a tree and started kissing you again. And there really was no one who can love you better than him.

Creepypastas in Hell:

Jeff: Just to be clear, I’d be a way better Satan than you…

BEN Drowned: Is there Wifi down here?

Laughing Jack: Why am I here, I didn’t do anything wrong ?!?!?!

Eyeless Jack: How am I going to survive.. no kidneys…

Slenderman: Jeff, fuck off.

Smile Dog: *barks of encouragement towards Jeff*

Sally: *spots other demons* Oh hi, do you want to play with me..?

Samaritan’s plans

Samaritan has a lot of balls up in the air, and it’s hard to keep track, I’m writing this to try and keep track all the dastardly things Samaritan has up its sleeve. (If I miss anything please message me so I can include it here!) 


Recruiting hackers via elaborate games like ‘Nautilus’. 

Harold: The game started with a post on an obscure message board. “If you seek enlightenment, be the first to walk through the chambers." 

John: What’s the spiral shell? 

Harold: Chambered nautilus. Claire realized there was data hidden in the image and managed to extract it– Instructions to hack an encrypted network and steal a particular file. Whatever’s on it is required to win the game. 

John: Setting a pretty high bar. 

Harold: Indeed, and this isn’t the game’s first iteration. There have been at least 2 others, 27 days apart, in cities as far-flung as Tokyo and Paris. 

People are either used directly or become patsies until their usefulness is at an end, and they get killed off like Yasin Said’s group in Control Alt Delete.

Yasin: Look… two months ago, I won this competition, the Nautilus. 

Control: What the hell is that? 

Yasin: An elaborate contest. Data security, steganography, cryptography. The next day, I got a text message, offering jobs to me and my friends from school. The four of us crowded into one of those office park start-ups. Big paycheck, stock options. We thought it was the next Google. 

Control: What was on your laptop, Yasin? 

Yasin: I don’t know, but it’s not uncommon for coders to be kept in the dark. That’s how stealth companies work. 

Control: That’s how terror cells work. 

Yasin: This was a bioinformatics company creating climate change models. We’d write a piece of code, and we’d pass it on to someone else. Two days ago, we sent the last piece, ten hours later, everyone was dead.

Not only does Samaritan recruit talented developers, but it killed off people who worked on climate change models. 

Recruiting ordinary people, people with ‘potential’ who aren’t doing anything to fulfill their potential. People who are more easily persuaded to their cause like Jeff Blackwell in SNAFU

Jeff: So you know, I have a record, but… 

Mona: Yes, we have that information. That’s not an issue. The position’s yours if you want it. And you do. 

Jeff: Well, it’s got to be better than painting houses. Every other agency… they have an application to fill out. A personality test. 

Mona: No need. You have so much potential. No one sees what a resource you are, do they? But we do. You need a purpose. More specifically, you need a job.

(Samaritan cribbing Harold’s recruitment speech, talk about copycat.)


In Prophets Samaritan rigged the elections to go in their favor. 

Greer: Isn’t he marvelous? Confident face, an air of compassion and strength. But no guts or backbone, so eager to please. 

Martine: How many do we have like him? 58 across the country and all over the government.  

And in the aftermath of the Flash Crash in Control Alt Delete, Samaritan is trying to maneuver its way to meet the President via the Chief of Staff. 

In Asylum and 4x22 it orchestrated the Correction: 

Greer: Most of humanity is docile. Pliant. It’s only over a few hundred people who create all of the problems. Samaritan has identified them. Greer: The disruptors. The outliers who have problems with authority. And then there’s the disloyal. The grit in the gears. Thank you for leading us directly to them. We couldn’t have done it without you… Control. 

Greer: Men have gazed at the stars for millennia and wondered whether there was a deity up there, silently directing their fates. Today, for the first time, they’ll be right. And the world will be an undeniably better place. Pity you won’t be there to see it. 

Control: But the attack. 

Greer: This was a test of loyalty. Of which, I’m sorry to say, you failed. In Samaritan’s view, there is no room for outliers. Which means there is no room for you. But don’t worry. You’ll be taken to a place where you belong.

In Synecdoche Samaritan deemed the President of the United States irrelevant and didn’t warn the ISA, it allowed the assassination to take place. 

Team Machine stopping the assassination could work both ways for Samaritan, it could work for them to increase security. 

Medical / Public Health

In Honor Among Thieves  it executed an elaborate shell game about the Marburg Virus. It hired Tomas and his crew to steal the virus, then paid his partners to kill him, then hired Marko Jevtic to steal the virus from Tomas’s crew and start a pandemic in New York. 

And, as the third step Samaritan assigned the ISA to kill everyone involved (and possibly infect themselves in the process) and destroy the vials, this order changed to eliminating everyone to securing MAR-V and giving the vials to Samaritan operatives.

Samaritan had almost all avenues covered except Samaritan didn’t account for interference from Team Machine, and Shaw’s personal connection to Grice. 

Keep reading

Forget trying to have the perfect experience.
Forget trying to get life right.
Sink into your current experience.
Let it wash over you, drown in its embrace.

When you feel lost, heartbroken, unsure where to turn,
When doubts smoulder and questions rage,
Know that this is only Love in disguise,
Burning all your dreams of tomorrow to dust.

You are doing better than you ever could imagine.

—  Jeff Foster

Jeff: “Why do people like you more than me?!” >A<

LJ: “Idk. Maybe because I’m a more better Creepypasta than you?”

Jeff: “I hate you sometimes…” -A-;

LJ: “Love you too!~” ^w^