Humans are weird Australia
What if Aliens hear all the jokes about Earth being space Australia and get confused. They don’t quite understand the terminology and they inquire a human on board their ship as to what the phrase means. The Human then states most Aliens think Earth is outrageously dangerous, and the humans think a continent on Earth called Australia is dangerous, so they refer to Earth as a space equivalent of Australia, thus getting the saying Earth is space Australia. Imagine the Aliens being flabbergasted at the prospect that a human could be afraid of such a place, although not be that surprised considering the humans did come from a death world. Nevertheless imagine the bravest of the Aliens getting geared up to venture to a fearful place the humans called Australia.
Kuljer had been warned that this place was dangerous. But his species only laughed at the sight of it. The average male of their kind was 9 ft and pure rock hard muscle. Just being in the same room as Kuljer would make anyone Quake. Although, he did understand that this was the humans they were talking about, and he should at the very least be somewhat weary.
As the ship touched down in a place called ‘Mell-born’, Kuljer laughed, or what could only have been considered one. This place was nothing to be afraid of. The scariest thing he could see was the poorly outdated infrastructure that struck out around him. Pathetic humans he thought with a shake of his head. The leader of the party, a human known by the name of Lisa gave him a sidelong smirk as she walked past him, as if knowing what Kuljer had thought.
The first stop for the party was a place the humans called a zoo. Upon entrance, a deep growling of some unseen animal put Kuljer on edge. Amidst seeing his reaction Lisa bared her teeth and released a shrill sounding noise, saying that it was only a lion and it couldn’t cause anyone harm; calming Kuljer only the slightest.
After seeing many beasts ranging from ones with long necks, to wings, to poisonous venom, the party made there way to a vehicle called a ‘jeeep’. They then spent a couple human hours driving to a motel they were to stay at for the night. During this time Lisa decided to list of some facts about Australia.
“Did you know that the weather in Australia rangers from about 60°?” She began. “And that 6 out of the 10 most venomous snakes are found in Australia.” She continued waiting for a reaction from the Alien party. “Last time I was here, this bloody huge huntsman spider came out from behind the curtain and scared the living daylights out of me. He had to have been at least as big as my palm. Anyway I never saw him again.”
The talk of these animals unsettled Kuljer. He couldn’t understand how they all lived together, and why the humans hadn’t killed all the dangerous ones yet. But before he could ask Lisa pulled the ‘jeeeep’ into a lot and turned of the ignition saying they had arrived.
Lisa led Kuljer to room saying he should keep the door locked and remain in his room until the next morning when she was to collect him. Handing the keys over to his room, Lisa turned and started towards her own down the hall when she froze in her tracks. Kuljer had just made the loudest scream Lisa had ever heard. Immediately she rushed back to Kuljers side to see what had been the cause of that sound, only to laugh. There on the door was just your regular house spider, barely the size of a fifty cent piece, let alone a palm. Lisa chuckled to herself as she left Kuljer a mess behind her. He had thought he was tough, yet he was reduced to tears at the mere sight of such a pathetic creatures. Humans weren’t the ones who were weird she thought to her self. Aliens were.