“What are those on your back, lad?” You hear Dwalin ask and that makes you swallow, hard. The mountain was reclaimed about a year ago and Thorin had been made King Under the Mountain. In order to keep in touch with all of the members of the Company, Thorin made sure to set aside one weekend every month for the company to gather together like old times.
You were all currently in the armory, sparring each other and it was currently Fili and Dwalin. They had both removed their shirts during the process and it’s when Dwalin had asked his question that you realized you left marks on Fili’s back from your rendezvous the night before.
No one but Thorin, Dis, and Kili knew about the two of you and they never gave you two a break.
“Ay. I believe it’s the mark of a lover. I didn’t realize the heir had a possible consort,” Bofur jumps in, clapping Fili on the back. Thorin and Kili shoot you knowing looks and you stick your tongue out at the both of them.
“I didn’t realize she left a few marks,” Fili says, trying to get a proper look at his back. “Oh she’s a feisty one,” Dwalin chuckles. “Who is she? A lady from the Iron Hills?” Nori asks making you scoff.
“Dams from the iron hills are known to be quite good in bed,” Bofur says, nodding at his own observation. Fili shoots you a glance and you look away.
He was the one who wanted to keep this relationship between the two of you. For what reason? You did not know but you were going to let him do whatever he wanted. That, however doesn’t mean you have to like it.
“I bet she’s a hag,” Kili says, laughing and you covertly flip him off. “Have you not met her?” Ori asks quietly. “Oh I have. Fili dear could not do better,” Kili replies and that makes you smile. You were thankful that Dis, Kili and Thorin had immediately accepted you into the family. You don’t think you could’ve handled it if they didn’t.
“Well come on lad. Aren’t you going to tell us about the lady from the iron hills?” Bofur asks.
“Yeah. Come on Fee. Lets hear about this lady of yours,” you say and he shoots you a glare making you smirk.
“Is she good in bed?” “Is she a screamer?” “Does she-”
Those questions make fili snap.
“Oh for Mahal’s sake she’s right there!” He shouts pointing at you. “Y/n and I have been courting for nearly a year already and your questions are getting on my nerves.”
There is a complete silence before dwalin starts laughing.
“Don’t worry lad. We were just trying to push your buttons. We’ve known for a while now but we were getting tired of you two pussyfooting around the subject,” he explains and that makes you smile. Always the blunt one.
“At least we know that the lassie is quite a scratcher,” Bofur says, giving you a wink and with that, you shove him off the bench. No matter how much fun they poked at you, you will always love this company.
But can we talk about this gif for a second? Look at it, they are so in character:
Martin Fremann (Bilbo): “I don’t know why I’m doing this, but fuck it, I do it anyway.” Richard Armitage (Thorin): “I’m a very important dwarf, doing very important practice, because it’s important” James Nesbitt (Bofur): “HahahahaAHAHAHAA, LOOK AT HOW RIDICULOUS I LOOK! THIS IS SO FUN!!” Graham McTavish (Dwalin): “I’m doing it wrong, but I pull this through until the bitter end.” Adam Brown (Ori): “Look at me, I’m a cutie patootie!” Jed Brophy (Nori): “Wheee~ I’m gonna need this for my next raid~” William Kircher (Bifur): “I may have an axe stuck in my head, but I’m gonna show you spring chicken how to do this proper”
Summary: Dwalin accidently wakes you up in the middle of the night and you learn that Thorin is spending another night away from his bed. You decide to do something about it.
Pairing: Thorin x Reader
Word Count: 1,274
Requested by: @sdavid09 ; “An ear infection cause a particular dwarf to become very clumsy at hilarious moments. Originally I thought it could be a Thorin one, but then I realized a Dwalin one would make it hilarious!!!
Nori’s cold is hindering his sneakiness.
Thorin is overworking himself, and that won’t do for the dwarf you love. So you set up a “spa” day where you don’t let him work and pamper him all day!”
A/n: I kind of tried to tie in all three and I don't know if it came out good so let me know if you don’t like it so I can try to rewrite it. Also, I tried so hard not to base it off of Feisty Little Hobbit, but I couldn’t resist. It can be read without reading Feisty Little Hobbit, but this could also be an epilogue of sorts.
You quickly sit up in your bed as you hear a noise. Well, as quickly as you can with your baby bump in the way.
“My make-up artist Georgia, she didn’t like me playing because of course, within 10 minutes, I’d be shvitzing like buggery. And it would be undoing all of her work and bits of prosthetic ears would be coming off because the sweat would be taking the glue off, et cetera. And I would… Like a schoolboy, look around and see if Georgia… Because I’m quite scared of Georgia. And I’d look around and just sort of see if the coast is clear, and I’d go and play.” - Martin Freeman
Behind the scenes of The Hobbit spam (112/200) | (1-100)
“You are not going with the dwarves!” your father snaps making you pout.
You and Legolas had brought the Dwarves in nearly an hour ago and you were rather found of them, the star fished one in particular. When you had searched him, you had found several items belonging to Rivendell and that had made you laugh.
You had an on-going competition with Elladan and Elrohir to see how many items you could steal from each other’s kingdom. You were currently in the lead with 109 items while they had 101 items. Of course, your father’s did not know about this.
“Tell me Master Dwarf, how exactly did you take so many items? I have a great need to acquire skills such as yours,” you had told the dwarf and from then on, the dwarf named Nori had your undivided attention and you his.
“Do not pout at me, y/n. It will not work,” Thranduil states, walking back up to his throne.
You give him ‘the look’. The look that you know he will succumb to.
He turns away quickly, knowing exactly what you are trying to do, making you groan.
“Legolas. Take your sister away before I fall into her trap,” he says and you turn to follow Legolas, knowing that there is no room for argument.
About four hours later, you walk down to the cells. You decided to skip the feast of starlight to go and look for your dwarf.
You pause as you see all of the dwarves out of their cells. They look at you in panic. You spy Nori pushing his way to the front and it’s then that you notice a hobbit that was not there earlier.
“Y/n. I can-” Nori starts but you interrupt him. “Go to the cellars. Quickly,” you say, turning him around and pushing him.
They do as they are told rather skeptically. Who knew where you were leading them? You follow them quickly and you notice that the elves that are supposed to be on duty are passed tf out.
“Daddy dearest isn’t going to be too happy,” you say turning towards the Company as the stand in front of the empty barrels.
“All right you lot. Get into the barrels! The floor beneath opens up and leads into a river that leads Esgaroth,” you explain and the dwarves look reluctant.
“How do we know you are not deceiving us?” The leader growls, stepping up to you menacingly. “Because, King Thorin, if I were deceiving you, you’d be locked up in the cells not climbing into the barrels. I may be the daughter of the King of Mirkwood, but I am not as heartless as he. Also, I quite like Master Nori,” you say, winking at the flabbergasted dwarf.
“Very well,” he says and moves into a barrel.
“Of course you had to fall in love with the princess of Mirkwood, you pointy haired dwarf,” you hear the bald one say as he climbs into his own barrel.
“I could do worse,” Nori says, giving you a wink before climbing into the barrel. You let out a giggle. You can’t wait to see your thief again.
Nori has a sharp eye and a ready smile, and he’s a canny and practised fighter. He’ll take on anyone who threatens his family or friends and will put his own life in danger without a second thought. He has no hesitation in taking on the monstrous Great Goblin beneath the Misty Mountains, and of all the Dwarves it was Nori who noticed that Bilbo had escaped when the rest of the Company were taken prisoner in Goblin Town. Those sharp eyes will be of great service as they venture into even more dangerous territory.