je t'aime tellement

français // Jack (pt 1)


“this gal has a jack x reader request because this gal is learning french! so could ya do me the honours and write this request? Jack and the reader have been dating in secret and often speak french to each other one of the boys use google translate or somehow figure out what they’re saying and finds out that they’re dating pretty please with a cherry on top” - anon

(1,176 words)

a/n: I had to make this two parts bc it got too long aha but I hope you enjoyed this! And I copied and pasted these translations straight off of Google so I’m sorry if they’re crAp. (Also, shoutout to @veryweirdintrovert for getting me into Jack’s lane to write this ahaha ly babe)

“No, you idiot!” I smack Corbyn suddenly, “The other side!”

“Sorry, sorry!”

“What are y’all doing?” Jack walks toward Corbyn and I carrying a bowl of caramel popcorn. He reaches his arm out and hands us the snack. I munch on the sugary goodness and explain why we’re suspended on a tree branch.

“We’re trying to set up the Halloween decorations but this dumbo isn’t helping too much!”

“(y/n), I said I’m sorry! I just got distracted by-”

How realistic they make the decorations seem nowadays, I know, you’ve said that three times in the last half-hour, Corb.” I tease as he shovels a fistful of popcorn into his mouth.

I hand the bowl back to Jack and he also stuffs his face with the treat, “Wahy-halp g-”

“I can’t understand what you’re saying, Jack.”

He chews quickly and swallows hard, “I saaaaiiiid good luck with that, then.”

“Go away, ugly duckling.” Corbyn flings a dead twig at Jack as he walks away, then focusing on the decoration set up once again.

Before Jack can walk back into the house, I catch his attention, “Hey, moron,”

“What?” He turns around, his lips wrapped around a kernel of popcorn.

“Je t'aime, ma petite nouille [I love you, my little noodle].” I smile.

“Et je t'aime, ma chérie.[And I love you, my dear.]” Jack grins.

“What the-” Corbyn looks between Jack and I, confused as ever.

“Nothing.” We both say quickly. Luckily, Corbyn was so caught up in the spooky spiders that he didn’t quite interpret our not-so-secret language. We hadn’t told any of the boys, so we decided to keep our feelings as undetectable as possible.

Even though we tried to keep our PDA extremely low to none at all, it would sometimes slip and we figured the boys would find out soon enough, so we started learning French and using the foreign language to say cute little things to each other while the boys were around, but still keep our relationship a secret. I knew that the boys would figure it out one day, but I thought that we would be able to stretch the time by using at least a different language. Yes, the boys are bright, but they really are all idiots on the surface.

“Okay, so now you want me to put skeleton over here or over here?” Corbyn interrupted my thoughts and I shake away the rest of my feelings.

“Put it over there.” I mumble, wondering when the blonde boy would figure out about Jack and I.

“Ready for the pool, yet?” Jack asks me as he shakes out his curly hair.

“Mhm, let me just go get a towel and I’ll be right out,” I say, walking towards the closet.

“Get me one too, yeah?”

“Whatever,” I roll my eyes and grab two towels either way.

I skip back to my secret boyfriend and throw the roll at him, “Ici, vous allez, tête de mouton [Here you go, sheep head].”

Merci mon doux bébé [Thank you my sweet baby].” He responds and throws a slight smile my way.

“You’re welcome, bébé moche [ugly baby].” I wink at him. He rolls his eyes and coaxes me to walk alongside him as we head outside.

We stroll outside and all the boys turn to us at the same time.

“What?” Jack and I ask in unison.

“You two came out at the same time.” Zach squints, suspicious.

“So?” I retort nervously. I wasn’t going to have Zach find out and spoil our secret relationship. Not today.

“Doesn’t mean anything, Zach.” Daniel throws his empty water bottle at the 16-year-old’s head, “They probably went to get towels and waited for each other. That’s what you would do, right?”

Zach shrugs, still not completely convinced but putting the thought to the side, “I guess. Whatever you say, Dani.”

“Hey, (y/n), are you gonna go in?” Jack asks, pulling his shirt off.

I nod and start to remove my top as well, leaving the bikini under. I twist so that the boys wouldn’t be looking at me while I was changing, but when  I turn back around, I notice Jack staring at me while the rest are distracted with other things.

“Oh my… être foutu [damn].” He says and I blush.

“Merci, petit garçon [thank you, baby boy].” I smile shyly.

“Tu es magnifique, tu le sais, non? [You’re gorgeous, you know that, right?].” He crosses his arms across his bare chest, approaching me, careful of the boys getting any clues.

“Je ne le suis vraiment pas, mais merci [I really am not, but thank you.].”

“Non, vous devez accepter que vous êtes l'être humain le plus éblouissant sur cette planète, (y/n). [No, you need to accept that you are the most stunning human being on this planet, (y/n)].” He frowns.

“Je t'aime [I love you],” I whisper as he pulls a strand of loose hair behind my ear.

“Je t'aime tellement plus [I love you so much more]” He glances back to make sure the boys aren’t looking then pecks my forehead.

I grin and push him away jokingly, “You’re stupid. I’m not going to the store to buy pool noodles. We already have enough noodles right here.”

He’s confused for a few seconds then remembers and goes along with the act, “Ugh, fiiiiiiine.”

I turn away sarcastically and strut to Zach, who is watching our actions closely from the poolside.

“What, apple-face?” I spit sassily.

“That… that was French, wasn’t it?”

“What was French?” My heart races. Zach can’t know, out of all people. Not Zach. He’s not one to keep little secrets. He can’t stop his mouth from running all over the place, spilling important facts.

“What you were speaking just now.”

No,” I roll my eyes, “Jack was trying to get me to go to the store, that’s all.”

“Hm,” Zach squints at me. We give each other a dead stare as he searches my mind using only his hazel eyes. Like if he were reading a book, Zach scans my eyes and when he hits a certain spot, his gaze widens.


“It’s French. You’re talking to Jack in secret.” He blurts.

“What about it?”

“What are you even telling him?”

“Nothing. We make inside jokes and references.”

“That’s not all.” Zach raises his bushy eyebrows.

“It is.”

“Nuh uh.”

“Zach, will you get off my case?” I place my hands on my hips.

“Until you tell me what you tell Jack, I won’t.”

I sigh, “I don’t say anything important,”


“Heeeeeey hey hey hey,” Jack breaks up the conversation and turns to Zachary, “What’s going on, here?”

“You have a secret language with (y/n), don’t you?” He asks.

Jack scoffs, “Pfft, what about it?”

“You guys are speaking in code so that no one else can understand what you’re saying. That must mean that you’re saying something only you two should know,” Zach thinks out loud. Suddenly, his eyes widen and he gasps. Then, Jack pushes him into the pool.

Home At Last

Request: “Is that my picture as your home screen?” With Lafayette
Requested by: @hanakatsumi
Pairing: Lafayette x Reader
Word count: 1,167
Tag squad: @musicalmoriarty @imagineham @imaginebeinghamiltrash @butlinislin @drugsdiggs @secretschuylersister @icanneverbesatisfied @daveedish @diggs4life @americanrevelation @tempfixeliza @patron-saintof-sluts @adothoe @shamagangster @crazypurplebananas @chloehamiltonn @getupoffathathang @wolfphantom-m @y-lue

You stared at the calendar on your phone and let out a sigh.

“Only two more weeks to go,” you lament.

Lafayette had already been gone for two weeks, off visiting his family back home in France. When you closed the calendar app you stared at your home screen for a few moments. Lafayette’s handsome face stared back at you with his wide smile. You loved how he got little crinkles around his eyes when he smiled like he was in the picture.

He was a central member of your small group of friends and while their shenanigans kept you busy things just didn’t feel quite the same without the Frenchman. He texted often, but you found yourself missing his voice.

Tonight was group movie night and everyone had piled into your apartment with various snacks, throw blankets, and drinks. The genre that had won the vote for tonight was romantic comedy. It was barely halfway through the movie that it dawned on you that even though you were surrounded by your best friends you felt alone. Laf was always the person you sat with, the person who comforted you during sad movies, made you laugh when you were scared during horror night, shared a blanket with you, and he always brought those sour gummy worms and let you have the blue and red ones.

Looking around the living room you saw Alex and Eliza cuddled together, finger woven together as they watched the movie, John was shamelessly flirting with Peggy while Herc distracted Angelica by throwing popcorn on her. You smiled at their antics and sank lower under your blanket and unlocked your phone and looked and the picture again. It made you feel warm.

-(Y/N) 8:30pm: You’re missing movie night.-

-Laf 8:35pm: Is that so? What genre is it this time?-

-(Y/N) 8:36: Rom-com. I didn’t think you’d be awake. It’s 5:30 in the morning isn’t it?-

-Laf 8:38pm: Yes it is. I wasn’t sleeping well so I got up.-

-(Y/N) 8:40pm: I miss you Laf.-

-Laf 8:41pm: I miss you too ma chère.-

Ma chère… he had never called you that before. You felt your cheeks heat up and a giddy feeling filled you, but the more you thought about the butterflies you were feeling the more nervous you became.

Three weeks. Three weeks of Laf being gone and you had come to the conclusion that you were hopelessly in love with him. Angelica was quick to point out when you confided in her that she had already known that and it has been obvious long before he had left.

“Please you have been in love with him since that first stupid party my family threw at Christmas. You looked like some cartoon with hearts for eyes when he danced with you,” Angelica quipped.

“That isn’t true… I just thought it was sweet of him to ask me to dance,” you countered.

“Keep telling yourself that,” she scoffed.

She was right though, the more you thought about it. You had stamped down those feelings quickly when they had first appeared, ignored them completely, and instead of going away they had come back stronger than ever. His absence had shown you how much you truly depended on him and how happy he made you day in and day out and you had one week to figure out what the hell you were going to do.

So here you were sitting in the apartment Hercules shared with Laf. It was Herc’s turn to host movie night, tonight’s theme was 80s slasher.

“Hey (Y/N) I’m going to run to the store and replenish my candy and booze stock,” Herc said cheerfully, “you’re welcome to tag along or just kick it here.”

“I think I’ll just stay here and hold down the fort.”

“Sounds good. I’ll be back in twenty.”

Hercules has been gone for roughly ten minutes and you sat quietly with your legs tucked under your chin. Just one more week and Laf would be here. You unlock your phone again and look at the background and smiled.

“What am I going to do?”

You mulled over how to proceed after Lafayette got home. What if he didn’t feel the same? Angelica and Eliza both had said it was obvious he felt the same, but if that was true then how come you both hadn’t realized it?

“Is… that my picture on your home screen?”

You slowly turned around at the sound of his voice, it couldn’t be. As you look up Lafayette was leaning slightly over the back of the couch, jacket still on, his bag in hand, the same kind brown eyes and curly hair piled on the top of his head. You stood up quickly and ran around the couch.

“Laf? What are you doing here? You aren’t supposed to be back until next week,” you say in a rush.

“I had to come back early ma chère.”

God you had missed his voice.

“Is everything alright? Did something happen?”

“Oui, you could say that,” he said with a nervous smile.

“What’s wrong Laf? You can tell me what happened,” you say concerned.

“I missed you (Y/N)… I missed you so much,” he said closing the distance between you.

“Laf… I don’t see why you left early… that doesn’t…”

You were struggling to figure out the right words to say when he was this close. He reached up and gently brushed his thumb along your jawline. You had a million questions that were erased when his lips met yours. When he pulled away his forehead rested against yours, he looked so at ease and you felt like your heart was about to beat out of your chest.

“I couldn’t sleep. I was alright at first and I was so happy to see my family and be home, but after a week I missed you. I missed everything about you (Y/N). You consumed my thoughts and all I wanted to do was get on a plane. I wanted to come home and see your face and hear your voice,” Laf’s voice was barely above a whisper.

You weren’t exactly sure at what point tears has begun to flow when he had been speaking, but you felt his fingers brush them away. You quickly pull him into another kiss and wrap you arms around him tightly.

“Je t'aime,” he mumbled against your lips, “je t'aime tellement.”

“I love you too Gil.”

“Well, well it’s about God damn time!”

A startled yelp escaped your lips as you look over and saw Hercules standing in the kitchen with an arm full of groceries. Lafayette’s chest rumbled with laughter and it didn’t take long before you joined him. Today had definitely taken an unexpected turn.

“It’s good to have you back,” Herc said.

“Oui… it’s good to be home,” Laf said meeting your gaze and planted a kiss to your forehead.

Good to be home indeed.

Lafayette: Mon amour, je t'aime tellement que je ne supporte pas d'être seul! Je veux être à tes côtés jusqu'à ce que je meure, je ne te laisserai jamais te promettre que tu m'aimeras toujours.

Hercules: …I don’t know what you just said but I love you too.

My Future (Lafayette x Reader)

My Future

Laffy Taffy X reader


A/N: I wrote this a while back for my friend and she said it was good so i finally got around to posting it. Also,Today (3/16/17) is my birthday! And Madison’s! XD Enjoy!

Modern AU

Warnings- may be cursing,idk,google translated French

summary-A day at the park with your boyfriend and his friends who seem to be hinting to something that you don’t know about.


“Laff?” I ask my boyfriend,staring at the sky as we sit on a park bench. I swing my legs back and forth.

“Oui,mademoiselle?” Lafayette replies,intertwining his fingers with mine, smiling.

“Do you ever think about your future?” I ask, watching the white clouds roll above us.

“All the time,Y/N. Why do you ask,mon cher (my dear)?” He replies.

“I dunno, Laff,” I pause, asking myself if I should actually ask him this question. “L-laff, am I ever…am I ever in your thoughts of the future?” I tear my eyes away from the sky and look at him. He’s looking back at me with his soft, brown eyes.

“Every time, mademoiselle. Je t'aime (I love you.).” He whispers.

I smile and hug him.

“I love you, too, Lafayette.” I whisper back. We pull apart and he stands up. I follow suit. He nods his head to the downtown ice cream shop. “Let’s go get some crème glacée (ice cream.).”

Lafayette bought me an ice cream cone and takes me to a booth. I feel guilty and offer him some of my ice cream. He chuckles and shakes his head. I smile and take a bite of the flavorful ice cream. I watch as he texts something to somebody and wonder what he’s talking about.

“Je t'aime,” I say, barely audible and Laff looks up at me, smiling. “Je t'aime tellement (I love you so much.), Gilbert.” I murmur. I’d finally remembered the right pronunciation to those words.

“Je t'aime, Y/N.” He replies and we share a smile. I take another bite of my, now melting, ice cream and Lafayette laughs as he wipes away melted ice cream off of my chin and cheeks. We sit in silence as I finish my ice cream.

“What are we gonna do now?” I ask him, throwing the napkins away and taking his hand. We leave the ice cream place and walk down the sidewalk of New York.

“Monsieur (Mister) Alexander wanted us to meet him and the others at the park,rappelles toi (remember)?” Laff chuckles and I blush a little.


I see Laff’s friends, Alex, Hercules, and John, walking towards us. I poke Laff’s arm and point to the three men. I smile as Laff waves and yells, “Bonjour!”

“Hey, girrrrrrrrllll!” Hercules greets me and the four men laugh. I smile, shaking my head at them.

“How’s it going, love birds?” Alex asks, elbowing Laff.

“Mon Dieu (my God) …” Laff mutters, but I see him smile.

“What about you and Eliza?” I pipe up,rocking on my feet. John and Hercules snicker at my comment.

“We’re better than ever,Y/N.” Alex replies. I nod.

“John,how’ve you’ve been?” I ask.

“I’ve been great,Y/N. Thanks for asking.” John answers.

I look at Hercules. “You?”

“I made these great dress designs,come look.” He holds his hand out and John puts a book in it.

“Yenno,Y/N,” John begins, resting his arm on my shoulder, as Herc flips through his book. “You could model these. ‘Specially the wedding dresses,right Alexander?”

Laff’s friends chuckle and I roll my eyes,not knowing what their talking about. Hercules shows me his sketches.

I over-hear John, Alex, and Laff talking in low voices.

“’S not like I actually told her.” John explains.


“Don’t worry,Laff.” Alex assures my boyfriend.

“These are really good,Herc!” I say,glancing over the dresses. Hercules smiles and turns the page.

“Bruh,these are the wedding dresses John here was talkin’ about.” Hercules points to more skteches. Lafayette is now looking over our shoulders at the pictures.

I sit in the grass, alone, as Lafayette talks to his friends. I laugh as I try to catch lightning bugs. I lie down in the grass and spread my arms out, smiling, staring at the stars. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Lafayette, lying down next to me. His friends lie next to him. He takes my hand and I smile.

“You two are so in love.” Alexander’s voice speaks. I smile.

“Oui. I love her so much.” Lafayette agrees and squeezes my hand.

“I love you too.” I reply.

“You two ever gonna get married?” John asks.

I sit up quickly. Laff slowly sits up.


The others sit up.

“Mademoiselle? What’s wrong?” Laff asks.

“I….I’m alright. Yeah. I’m fine.”

“You sure?” Hercules questions me.


Laff would never wanna marry me, would he?

I sit on the park bench from earlier,swinging my legs back and forth. Laff’s arm is around me. John,Alex,and Hercules are…Lord knows where they are,honestly.

“Y/N,follow me,s'il te plait,amour (please,love).” We stand up and I follow Laff,barely awake. The moon shines above us and I nearly fall on a rock or something.

“Laff,I’m super tired.” I groan and he chuckles,dragging me somewhere.

“We can go home after this,Je promets (I promise).”

I look up to find his hand out for me to take. We’re standing in front of a lit up gazebo,where-of course-Hercules,Alex,and John are standing with Eliza and her sisters. My eyes widen as I take his hand,realizing what’s happening. I suddenly am wide awake and I feel a tear slip from my eyes.

He takes me up and smiles before kneeling down and Hercules hands him a little black box.

“Y/N,Je t'aime tellement. And do not worry, you’ve always been the one I wanted to marry since you said yes to me for the first time. You’re so beautiful, kind,and smart. Y-you’re funny and your eyes-oh your yeux pétillants (sparkling eyes). Your smile lights up a room. Your laugh is like music. Y/N, Je t'aime. Je t'aime tellement. Je promets that I will never not amour (love) you.

Je ne vous blesserai jamais exprès (I will never hurt you on purpose). Je veux que tu saches que (I want you to know that.).”

“Laff,” I interrupt him. His face becomes disappointed. “You slipping into french.” I tell him and he laughs.

“Sorry, mademoiselle,” He tells me. “Y/N,” He opens his little box and a ring sits inside.

“Will you marry me?”

“Of course!” I say and hug him tightly. Cheers sound from around us. We pull away and he puts the ring on my finger. I kiss him.

“You were always in my future, Y/N.” He whispers, hugging me.

T'étais plus là d'un coup et bordel, bordel ça m'a fait réalisé à quel point je tenais à ce que tu sois là et tu vois… Tu vois j'suis essoufflée et j'arrive à peine à parler parce que j'ai encore peur que tu disparaisses à nouveau… J'suis morte de peur en vérité, parce que je sais que j'en referai des erreurs, et je sais que parfois je mets du temps à comprendre que j'ai besoin des gens et je sais aussi que les autres ont tendance à fuir souvent, et tu vois je veux pas que tu fuies toi, je veux que tu restes quoi qu'il se passe, quoi qu'il se passe t'entends ? Même si j'te dis que je veux plus de toi, je veux pas que tu t'en ailles parce que quand tu t'en vas je suis plus rien moi, j'existe plus j'ai beaucoup trop mal. Je sais que tu m'aimes, on s'aime, c'est une certitude et pourtant j'aurai toujours peur que quelque chose nous brise parce que justement je t'aime, et je veux tellement que tu restes à mes côtés que je me méfie de tous les dangers. Et probablement que parfois j'aurai des doutes mais t'es le seul que je veux, et faut que tu le saches.

Alors si j'te hurle de partir tu resteras, pas vrai ?

—  justevivante
You French Fry

Pairing: Lafayette x Reader

Prompt: Jealousy Modern AU

Words: 511


Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette, the new French foreign exchange student at your school. He was every girl’s dream, smart, kind, handsome, and romantic. Every girl wanted him. Including you.

You were Y/N Hamilton, Alexander’s sister, so you were around him a lot. It was a good thing and a bad thing.

It was awesome to see some of the sides that others don’t see, such as the time where you caught him in pink sweats and a purple tank top. Or the time he tried to make a homemade pizza and the dough ended up on the ceiling fan.

But it was hard being around him all the time when you had such a big crush on him. The late night movies, pizza outings, and help with homework. He was just too much.

The worst part was seeing him flirting with other girls around school. All of the girls would hang around him, and he was too nice to tell them to go away.

Today was like every other day, Lafayette was at his locker talking to all the girls, and even a couple of guys, trying to hit on him. You were getting annoyed, today was supposed to mandatory pizza day at the mall.

You put your books away and slammed your locker door, leaning against it and staring at where the daily Lafayette mob was.

“How’s you jealousy today?” Hercules asked you, coming to stand next to you and analyze the mob.

“I just want to go get pizza right now, then go home and cry,” you told him.

He sighed.

“The two of you just need to admit your feelings and talk things out. I hate seeing you like this,” He told you.

You shook your head.

“Yeah like that’ll ever happen.”

You walked off to join Alex and John in the car, waving goodbye to Peggy on your way out.

“It’ll happen if I have anything to do about it,” Herc said under his breath, looking back towards the mob of people.


Pizza night went well, and after words everyone went back to Lafayette’s for a movie.

Nobody was paying attention, Alex and Lafayette arguing about something in french, John was sketching some more turtles, and Hercules was staring at all of you in a suspicious way.

“LAFAYETTE AND Y/N ARE IN LOVE!” Hercules screamed before running out of the room, John hot on his tail.

Your mouthed dropped, as did Lafayette’s, and your brother stood up and started cheering.


Then he ran out of the room as well, leaving you and Lafayette alone.

You turned to look at Laf.

“Is it true Y/N?”

You nodded, not able to look him in the eye.

All of the sudden your face was in his hands, his lips on yours.

“Je t'aime tellement que vous ne savez même pas.” (I love you so much you don’t even know.)

“I love you to Laf.”

He smiled again pressing another passionate kiss to your lips.

“Be careful that’s my sister you French Fry!”

Eternally Yours [Lafayette x Reader]

Length: 3719 words

Genre: Angst/Fluff

AU: HamilTime

TW: Insecurity / Poverty / Suicide Attempt

A/N: I did change the title of this fic because I liked this one better! It used to be called “Yours in Our Next Life”- sorry for the confusion guys!

You stared at the blade in front of you, it was not small, but it wasn’t the size of the swords that the men carried with them. It was a gift from Gilbert, a family heirloom. He was worried about how you would fare without him during the war, and he decided to give you something to defend yourself with- if the time ever came. You let your thumb make its way against the blade, feeling a small prick, and seeing the blood run down your skin. You nodded, licking the blood from your hand, deciding it was sharp enough. You sighed, letting your mind drift to a certain Frenchman. You remembered when you first met Gilbert- it was perhaps a year or two ago when he had first come to America. He barely spoke English, and you spoke barely any French. By some sort of luck or fate, you bumped into him- or he to you, either ways the both of you scrambled to find words to apologize to each other that would make sense to the both of you. By the end, you both started laughing at the situation. Somehow, you figured out he got lost looking for the library. You offered your help, and got there. The first thing you did was find a French-English dictionary, and that’s when you started tutoring the man. He picked up English much faster than you were picking up French, but you managed to get some of the basics down, eager to learn more from him. It was perhaps a few months ago when he had asked to court you, and there was really no reason that you would refuse. It took him until that moment to reveal to you that he was an aristocrat, coming from a large sum of money, but that made no difference in your eyes. Unfortunately, it was during this time that both of you found out that he was engaged to another.  Ever since then he was writing endless amount of letters to his family, refusing to get married to another when he was already courting you. He was probably writing another letter right now. A tear fell down your face as you regretted every decision that had made you meet Gilbert du Motier de Lafayette- every decision that made you fall deeply in love with the Frenchman. You were just a nobody- you had nothing to your name. This way he won’t have to struggle anymore, you thought, letting the cool blade rest on your neck. Every time you saw him, his eyes are sunken farther in, and his eyebrows are permanently furrowed. Every time you asked, he would smile and say nothing was wrong. The drunk Alexander you took home a week ago said otherwise. Apparently, his family is relentless, and decided your union is out of the question. Gilbert has been fighting through his words from the other side of the world. You heard the door behind you unlock, and you turned around to meet your courter. Your eyes wide- like a deer in the headlight. The blade you held up pushed against your skin, and you could feel the pricking sensation again. 

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Making a Bad Day Better

Pairing - Lafayette x fem!reader

Word Count - 2167

Summary - You have a crap day where everything goes wrong. Lafayette has just what you need

Warnings - minor alcohol mentions, badly translated French

A/N - I’m so excited! This is my first fic in a long time, and my first reader insert.

(Y/N) = Your name
(Y/BF/N) = Your best friend’s name.

tags - @futureauthor45, @smol-spooky-one

To say that today was bad was an absolute understatement. To start out, your straightener had gone out, so you’d been forced to go to work with your hair in some sort of messy, wavy mane that you hoped passed as an attempt at the latest style. With how particular you were over your looks, that was a nightmare. Then, someone not paying attention on the sidewalk while you walked up to your workplace had bumped into you, causing you to spill your coffee all over your favorite blouse. It was probably ruined. Your work day wasn’t much better. You’d faced harsh critiques over your latest observation, enough to make you want to quit even though you loved your job. And, as if that wasn’t enough, you’d gotten caught in the popup rainstorm and gotten soaking wet. The one shining light was that tonight was supposed to be your weekly girls’ night with your best friend from college. That would be a much-needed pick-me-up, right?


(Y/BF/N) had texted you during your lunch break, apologizing profusely. Her boyfriend’s parents had unexpectedly shown up, so she’d been forced to cancel for this week. So much for having just one thing to make your day brighter. By the time you got home, you were 100% done for the day.

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Il y a tant de fois où j'ai voulu me jeter à l'eau et te dire à quel point je t'aime, mais j'ai tellement peur de ne plus savoir nager..
Je t'aime tellement, tu peux pas imaginer à quel point j'ai envie d'cracher sur Cupidon sur les cœurs dégoulinants les fleurs les promesses fausses les messages de gamins genre “je t'aime mon namoureux” toutes ces conneries pour moi c'est pour les abrutis et pourtant même si j'déteste ça, même si je hais la niaiserie même si l'amour c'est pas mon truc toi j'peux pas le nier, j'peux pas mentir, je t'aime, tu fais battre cette merde au côté gauche comme personne pourrait le faire t'es unique putain, tu m'rends dingue et j'arrive pas à me dire que tu s'ras pas à moi, jamais.
Get Your Shit Together

This was requested… so thank you for requesting, also thank you for liking the way i write i appreciate it lots.  Also my requests are still open.  I hope you all enjoy!


Originally posted by bennyandthestars

            All your friends had grown up, gotten engaged some even married, at the very least they were in extremely stable relationships.  You on the other hand well you were in a stable relationship but when all the girls started asking questions about his family you didn’t have answers.  You hadn’t met Antoine’s family.  You had only met his team in passing because you ran into them while you were on a date, Antoine wanted to get away so fast you were a little bit hurt but brushed it off as he wasn’t ready for that step, it was early in your relationship but now it wasn’t early.  It had been about seven months since then.  

           So with the comments of your friends swarming your head and the alcohol coursing through your veins you walk into Antoine’s apartment with the pure intention of confronting him and asking him why you hadn’t met his family or his team.

           “Hey babe, how was girls night?” he asks walking out of the bathroom towel slung low on his hips and beads of water falling from his hair.  Fuck him and his perfect self, you wanted to be annoyed but you just couldn’t be.

           “Good” you say softly “it was nice, I just wish it happened more often ya know?”

           “Yeah I get it” he says walking back into his bedroom.  

           “Antoine?” you ask following him “what are we?”

           “What?” he asks laughing “is this a trick question?”

           “No, I mean are we serious?  We’ve been together almost nine months and that’s a pretty long time so I would think we’re serious but I haven’t met your family or your team and so I was just thinking, what am I to you?”

           “Where is this all coming from?” he asks pulling a shirt on “Was it Stephanie?  She always makes you feel like shit after going out, or Veronica?”

           “No, well yes” you pause “but it’s me too, Antoine I need to know if you’re serious about this relationship or if your just figuring shit out.”

           “Why, why do you need to know (y/n)?  Will you leave if I’m not serious?”  Now a simple question has made him mad.  Not at all your intention but now there’s no going back on it.  

           “Antoine, I only asked you a question” you yell at him “is our relationship serious to you or not?”

           “Why the hell do you have to bring this up now?  The night before a game (y/n) what the fuck!”

           “Fine Antoine you know what fuck you!” you spit back at him “call me when you’ve got your shit together!”  With that you storm out calling an uber, you waited for it to show up.

           The door closing behind you didn’t startle you, but the blanket being wrapped around your shoulders did.  The smell on the blanket was identical to Antoine, a smell you had gotten used to over the nine months.  

           “Come on it’s cold out here” he says softly “let’s go back inside and actually talk about this, no yelling just talking.”

           “I don’t want to talk about it” you say wrapping the blanket around you tighter.  As much as you didn’t want to admit it, the Dallas air is a little chilly.

           “I do, I didn’t realize it was such a big deal that you hadn’t met my family or the team.  It just makes me nervous,” Antoine says sadly wrapping his arms around you “but I’ll call up some of the guys tomorrow and we can grab some dinner?”

           “Really?” you ask excited.  

           “Yeah, really. (y/n) I never want to make you feel like I don’t need you, because I do every second of the day I want to be near you and when I’m not I just crave you.  You are everything I have ever wanted, everything I have ever needed.”  

           “Let’s go back inside, it’s a bit cold out” you say smiling up at Antoine.  

“I’m sorry I made a big deal out of nothing.”

           “If anything, I ever do makes you upset or anything I don’t do, you need to tell me because I want you to always be happy.”

           “Je t'aime tellement” he smiles at you leaning down to kiss you.

           “I love you” you smile into the kiss, being startled apart by the honking of a horn.

           “Va te faire foutre” Antoine yells at the poor guy causing you to laugh “come on let’s go.”


On est perdu,on c'est pas vraiment ce qu'on ressent ni ce qu'on est l'un pour l'autre. C'est ambiguë,on se cherche,on se rapproche mais des qu'on est trop proche de l'autre on le détruit et on part en courant ou on fait comme si de rien n'était. Et çà se répète sans arrêt,ça fait trop longtemps qu'on se cherche sans jamais réussir à se trouver et ça me détruit. Çà me détruit tellement de te voir,qu'on se rapproche sans s'avouer qu'on s'aime. Je t'aime mais j'ai tellement peur que nous deux ça fonctionne pas,qu'on se lasse,qu'on se perde et je peux pas je veux pas te perdre.

Tu sais, sans toi, ma vie n'a plus vraiment de sens. Je le vois bien qu'il y a quelque chose qui ne va pas mais pourtant, la Terre continue de tourner, le soleil se lève tout les matins, les oiseaux chantent. Tout semble si normal et pourtant. Moi je suis là, je vis ma vie machinalement, j'y survis tant bien que mal. Mais tu vois, depuis que tu n'es plus là, je ne suis plus moi-même. Je souris devant les autres, je veux éviter toutes les questions indiscrètes, tout les regards de pitié, toutes les paroles censées me remonter le moral : “t'inquiète pas, tu trouveras mieux.” Non. Je ne trouverais pas mieux. Je ne veux pas trouver mieux. Je ne veux que toi. Je te veux toi et ton beau sourire, toi et tes doutes, toi et tes magnifiques yeux bleus, toi et ta façon de parler, toi et tes bras protecteurs, toi toi toi. Je te veux toi. Toi et personne d'autre. Je t'aime. Je ne pensais pas pouvoir aimer autant une personne. Tu es devenu mon monde, ma raison de vivre. T'es devenu tout. Mais t'es parti. T'es parti. Tu m'as abandonné. Tu m'as laissé. T'es parti. T'es plus là. J'suis plus rien sans toi moi. Tu me rendais heureuse. Tellement heureuse. On était pas parfait mais on était beau. On était humain. Tu illuminais ma vie rien qu'en étant toi. Mais maintenant, je n'ai plus rien. Je sens à peine mon cœur battre, j'ai l'impression de marcher au ralenti. Je souffre, si tu savais à quel point. Tu me manques. Tu me manques. Tu me manques. Je ne sais pas quoi faire, je ne sais plus. J'ai tout essayé. Je ne peux pas t'enlever de ma tête mais je crois que c'est parce que je ne le veux pas. Je ne veux pas t'oublier. Mon coeur n'en a pas la force. Je t'aime. Je t'aime, tu m'entends ? Je pourrais l'hurler sur tout les toits du monde. Je t'aime. Je t'aime d'un amour qui me tord le coeur, je t'aime et j'en souffre tellement. Mais tu vois, malgré la souffrance, la douleur, les pleurs, malgré tout ça, je ne pourrais jamais t'oublier. T'es gravé dans mon coeur à tout jamais. Je t'aime tu sais.

  • M. : je t'aime tellement que ça m'étouffe. C'est comme un trop plein, une impression de bouffées de chaleur et c'est à la limite du supportable tu vois. C'est comme si tout à coup, mon corps était trop petit pour contenir toutes les émotions que tu me fait ressentir.
Putain, reviens, je t'en supplie, reviens-moi ; parce que je n'y arrive pas sans toi, parce que j'ai besoin de toi, parce que je t'aime tellement que ça me tue à petit feu, parce que tu es (ou tu étais ?) tout ce qu'il me reste, parce que, quelque part au fond de moi, je crois encore à notre histoire, à notre Nous qui brillait de mille feux, parce que le vide s'empare de moi, et me bouffe totalement de l'intérieur, parce que je suis perdue sans toi, et que je n'arrive pas à avancer, parce que tu me manques effroyablement, parce que je pars en couilles depuis que tu n'es plus là, et que je suis persuadée - et que je resterai persuadée - que tu es la seule personne à pouvoir me sortir de l'ombre ; alors, reviens, je t'en supplie, reviens-moi.

Il me manque quelqu'un qui remplace le trou vide dans mon coeur qui broie de l'air, de l'air pollué. C'est comme le principe de la phobie, tu comprends pas pourquoi mais c'est là. Sauf qu'ici, c'est un complexe, une haine envers moi-même.

Ou si, en fait, le problème vient du fait que dès qu'une personne est un peu trop importante pour moi, elle devient automatiquement dangereuse. C'est un poison au goût de barbapapa, que t'apprécie et après t'en souffres, tu t'asphyxies.

C'est rien pour lui mais c'est tout pour moi.

Alors je veux pouvoir me soigner de ça, la douleur non-éphémère. Je souhaite, mais cette fois si sans retomber dans cette boucle autodestructrice, m'accrocher à quelqu'un, et ne pas avoir le temps de prononcer un seul mot qu'il me réponde “ non t'es pas grosse, t'es pas moche, et surtout je t'aime tellement que je pourrais en crever”.

- les larmes au coeur