jd is the most perfect human

It had been ten years.
Ten years since Heather Pellegrino came into the lives of the students of Westerburg like a whirlwind, there one minute, gone the next. She changed them all.
JD stood at his old lover’s grave, holding back tears.
“Heather Pinocchio,” the gravestone read. “Literally the most perfect human in existence.”
Veronica slowly walked up to the grave, catching JD by surprise. He hadn’t seen her since the funeral.
“Veronica,” he said. “I was just…visiting.”
“JD…” Veronica murmured, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Lil bitch had it coming.”
JD turned away quickly. “You don’t understand,” he whispered. “Heather Pancreas was my life.”
“JD,” Veronica said. “Your couple name was literally Peen. I think it was for the best.”
They were quiet.
“What…what even caused her to kill herself, anyway?” Veronica asked slowly.
JD looked at her bitterly.
“Anons,” he said harshly. “Countless anons. They were jealous hoes. They couldn’t handle her unrealistic beauty.”
“I’ll say,” Veronica muttered.
“We should go,” JD croaked, trying not to cry.                                                 “That’s probably a good idea,” Veronica said, taking his hand. As they turned to walk away, they suddenly heard the tombstone crack and shatter. They whipped around to see none other than Heather Prosciutto herself, beautiful and perfect as they day they first met.
She stared at them with her bright blue-gold-pink-purple-red in certain light eyes.
“Hands off my mans,” she said in her perfect, silky voice.
Clearly, the world had not seen the last of Heather Pantry. Not at all.