jays-diary

jays-diary asked:

((I DONT FEEEEEEEEEEL LIKE GETTING ON UNDAUNTEDTOREADOR SO JUST LIKE HERE)) ♕

iT’S, rEMARKABLY DIFFICULT FOR PROBABLY ANYONE, eSPECIALLY ANYONE WHO ISN’T ACCUSTOMED TO USING THE SHIFT KEY, tO EASILY RECREATE MY QUIRK, bUT AT LEAST I DIDN’T REPLACE ANY LETTERS, sO THERE IS THAT,

i THINK, tHAT I AM ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS, aND THAT KARKAT IS PRIME TIME REAL ESTATE, fOR THE EXECUTION OF MY PURPORTEDLY SICK BURNS, wHICH REALLY JUST MAKE EVERYONE IN A TWENTY MILE RADIUS SICK TO THEIR DIGESTION SACS, 

i’VE GIVEN ENOUGH SHIT TO KARKAT, tHAT HE PROBABLY OWES ME LIKE SIXTEEN FAVORS, hAHA, }:)

UPS(ET!)

Jay’s Diary. 29.1.2016

Another day of stress and frustration, dear readers.

I’d waited in ALL morning for the UPS driver to come and collect My boxed Surface Pro 3, for shipment to Germany.
But he never showed up, which was kinda annoying.
So after getting on the UPS website, it said that My shipment order hadn’t been set.
I’d been told that My collection order had been made using the UPS website based in the USA!
I was well and truly pissed off with HOW MANY websites UPS had for each and every country!
(Most companies out there have a SINGLE, UNIVERSAL website!)
So I had to register and log into the UK website, and try and set a collection date and time.
Unfortunately, the website was a completely confusing maze of options, which all led Me nowhere!

In the end, I HAD TO call someone from UPS instead.
I ended up speaking to a completely clueless AMERICAN woman.
(Even though I called the UK number, which Marek from Microsoft Support had given Me, when I last spoke to him)
Despite following ol’ Microsoft Marek’s advice, on giving the UPS clerk My Tracking Number, (For FREE Collection/Delivery and Return of My Surface) I was told by the UPS woman, that I would have to pay for the collection from My address.
I was quite put out, and told her that the numerous people from Microsoft that I’d spoken to, had ALL said that it was all prepaid!
So the woman from UPS then said that I would need the account number of someone from Microsoft, in order to book the collection of My Surface.
(At that moment, I’d begun to develop a sever headache)
I just said to her “Y'know what? Sorry for this. But, FUCK IT! FUCK YOUR SHITTY DELIVERY SERVICE. FUCK EVERYTHING! FUCK YOU VERY MUCH!” and I then ended the call.

I took a breather whilst feeling pretty ashamed of having a right go at the UPS woman.
And I then headed out to Sign on at the JobCenter, with Mary.

On the walk to the JobCenter, I began to feel very sick.
To the point where I had palpitations.
The next thing to swiftly follow was breathlessness, and then.. nausea.
Yep, with every few steps I took, I began to bring up a mixture of sick and bile from My liver.
It was very acidic, and I felt like I was going to pass out.
But thankfully, I made it.
It was a good job I did as well, as the JobCenter staff had brought something out, to piss everyone off even more.
I heard one of the advisors in there, tell one of the unemployed people, that he was 10 minutes late for Signing on.
And that because he was late by a few minutes, his claim for Jobseeker’s Allowance (Welfare) had been stopped.
(So he had NO money to feed himself, pay his bills, and would HAVE TO wait 6 weeks to start-up a new claim for benefits/welfare)

I was apparently late as well, as one of the other women who recognised Me, told Me.
So I was worried that I’d had the only means of paying My bills, and feeding My pets and Myself, cut.

Mary saw Me, and called Me over to her desk.
She immediately saw that I was out of sorts, and asked if I wanted a glass of water.
I politely declined, stating that I would just end up bringing it back up.
Mary very kindly offered Me her bin to throw up in, if it happened.
I thanked her, and then attempted to show her the list of jobs I’d applied for this week and last.
She was very impressed with all that I’d done.
She then asked about Me hearing anything from the boss at Poundland, regarding My Work Placement.
I told her I hadn’t heard anything at all from the Manager, Rob, nor the Assistant Manager, Elliott.
So Mary then left another voice message on the answerphone at Poundland.
Afterwards, she said that if they didn’t respond to her, then I was to talk to the Manager, Rob, on Monday, regarding My placement.
(So, I’ll be a working man soon)

I then managed to tell Mary about applying for a Computer Store job opening up soon.
I showed her the correspondence between Me and the Manager of the place.
Again, Mary was impressed, but had to be rushed, as I was about to throw up.
So she kindly sped through My Sign on process and then let Me go.
I thanked her for her help, and then asked her to wish Me well, which she did.

Getting back home was horrible.
I avoided town, as I knew that bumping into someone I knew, would’ve ended up with Me vomitting on them.
But once indoors, I ran upstairs to the toilet.
In there I vomitted up loads of bile and sick into the sink.
And I then had some Fast-Acting insulin, which after half an hour, made Me feel so much better.

The Brainless eBay seller…
Yep. Having checked My emails, I saw another stupid email from the annoying Chinese seller on eBay.
This time it was a woman named Connie.
She’d put this in reply to My SIMPLE request, asking for the ‘Unpaid Item’ claim to be removed from off My account:
—————————————————————————————————
Dear xxxxxxxx_xxxx

Thank you very much for purchasing from us.
I am sorry to know that you are unsatisfied with the purchase with us.
Sorry to bring you the bad buying experience, but you can contact us if You are NOT satisfied.
We can help you out by all means.
So would you like to tell us the problem now?
Looking forward your reply.
Give me a chance to make compensation.
Then after we got a solution.
Hope you could change the feedback for us.
Please understand what a bad effect it will do to leave seller neutral or negative feedback, sometimes, it may lead to account restriction directly.
We really need your support and understanding.
Sorry again for the inconvenience brought to you.:(

Your understanding would be highly appreciated.
Thank you so much.

Best Regards
Yours Sincerely

Connie
—————————————————————————————————


Being so fucking pissed off with the seller not understanding or bothering to read My emails, I sent this back:

————————————————————————————————–
Excuse you!
You HAVE left an unpaid item claim on My profile, for the USB 3.0 hub, that you sold to Me.

1: I bought it at the FULL price of £6.75. (Unfortunately, NOT the agreed £6.00 reduced price)

2: You refunded Me the 75p back into My Paypal account.

3: After having checked, you HAVE kept the £6.00 for the item, HAVEN’T marked it as dispatched, and have STILL got the item listed as unpaid.

I don’t know WHAT you have done.
I’m assuming you have processed the FULL PRICE payment for the item, but left the reduced price item as unpaid.
So, by your idiotic logic, you have tried to get me to buy TWO of the same item.
(One reduced in price, and the other at full price)

I am NOT paying you again for an item I have already bought! (But not yet received!)
So plug your stupid brain in, and remove that unpaid item claim from My account.

Cost Me My account, and I’ll cost you yours.
Friendly warning.

—————————————————————————————————

Connie then replied back, saying she hadn’t put a claim on My account, and that she didn’t understand My request.
So I sent this as a final message!

—————————————————————————————————
Connie. With respect, you have no doubt got LOTS of messages from Me to you/your online shop.
I am SICK to death of talking to you, to get no further ahead with a solution to the problem you/your staff have caused Me.

I bought a USB 3 hub from you.
I bought it at FULL price, even though it was agreed to be sold at a slightly cheaper price.
I went ahead and bought it at full price.
And some idiot has gone and put the reduced offer as an 'unpaid item’, and is expecting Me to buy the item again!
(I’m NOT doing that)

I have explained that you need to remove (that’s REMOVE/DELETE/GET RID OF!) the 'unpaid item’ claim on My account.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND? Or shall I get a fucking translator! IDIOT!
—————————————————————————————————

I then called UPS a second time, and FINALLY got put through to a nice Indian man, who kindly booked a collection of My Surface, for Monday, between 9am and 7pm!

That fucking eBay seller, though! Urrrrghhhh!!!!