jay warner


A/N: As requested, this is Part II! Have fun! ;)

Part I

Words: 2288 (I guess I got a little… carried away xD)
Warnings: smut

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BIG NEWS about ILLUMINAE announced in the Hollywood Reporter! Yup, looks like this @firstinlinereaders​ title is headed to the big screen- and Brad Pitt and the Warner Bros Team are involved! Check out the full article here. #FirstInLine @misterkristoff @amiekaufman @hollywoodreporter


***NOTE - I’m not going to suggest superhero films having more diversity in terms of gender or sexual identity. They should. However, there’s already many better articles out there on said subject.

1 - Start casting actors that aren’t well known and whose performances aren’t limited by needing to carry a franchise. Prior to the first “X-Men,” film (2000) no one knew who Hugh Jackman was. We can’t keep casting the same 12 male actors for every super hero project and expecting to get new performances and new kinds of stories.

2 - Stop focusing on narratives in which cataclysmic world shattering events are occurring and, instead, do more character driven stories. Mind-you, said epic scale stories have their place in the superhero genre. But modern superhero movie plots (as well as regular movie plots) are currently dominated by this over used troupe. Time to mix it up a bit. Example - Maybe instead of cramming six different villains in the next Spiderman film, do a film in which Spiderman webslings around NYC thinking about life and debating whether or not he should continue being a vigliante. The whole film could be centered around his relationship to New York City and Peter Parker/Spiderman’s internalized change.

3 - Allow male protagonist characters to be vulnerable, that is to say, exist as non-invincible beings. Not every leading man needs to be a version Han Solo who has perfect aim, who always has clever comebacks, who’s always confident, who was born hyper attractive, who (for some bullshit reasons) is also an expert safecracker, as well as unofficially impervious to bullets. Its boring every male main character exist in such a limited and unrealistic way.

4 - Start making more stand-alone narratives, as opposed films that feature narratives dependent on sequels. Such films could be the feature film equivalent of a Marvel “One shot” comic issue.

5 - Stop shoehorning random child characters into the superhero films as a means of increasing said films appeal to younger demographics. I’m looking at you “The Amazing Spider-Man 2,” (2014). You know what you fucking did.

6 - Use through fantastical superhero narratives to talk about some real world shit. The 2012 film “Chronicle,” directed by Josh Trank, was a great example of this. Its plot is basically the story of a psychopathic outcast who snaps and commits a school shooting, only with but with superpowers in place of AK-47s bought legally over the internet. Imagine what a Wonder Woman film would look like if the warrior princess of the Amazons was fighting a Boko Haram-like character for kidnapping all those girls in Nigerian.

7 - Embrace ethnic diversity. In 1999 the Wachowski-siblings film “The Matrix,” proved beyond the shadow of a doubt that large scale genre films actually make more money at the box office when they don’t feature entirely white casts.

***Side Note - If I was Marvel, in undertaking the creation of rebooted Spiderman franchise, I would have introduced the premise of a multi-verse (or Spider-verse). That way they could have featured Peter parker/Spiderman, Miles Morales/Black Spiderman, some weird Chinese Spiderman, Robot Spiderman, Spider Gwen, etc, all in one film, and which ever manifestation of Spiderman tested best with audiences would have been the new Spiderman. Instead the new rebooted Spiderman franchise will just be high school-age white Spiderman (a third time).

8 - Stop using popular music as the soundtrack for your films. Superhero genre films aren’t car high end car commercials. Just because “Guardians of the Galaxy,” (2014) did it, doesn’t mean it was right or that every film has to do it. If your film, in order to have it be enjoyable, needs Led Zeppelin as soundtrack, it means your films sucks.

9 - Allow auteur directors to make superhero franchise films more their own. Imagine how good, or at the very least more-tolerable, “Ant Man,” (2015) would have been if Edgar Wright had been allowed to continue directing it. If you want more films like “Mad Max: Fury Road,” (2015), movie studios need to embrace the George Millers and Edgar Wrights of the world.

10 - Finally, superhero genre feature films could take a page out of episodic narrative TV’s book, specifically “Breaking Bad,” and “Game of Thrones,” and start featuring narratives in which the main characters aren’t ethically black or white, but exist as morally gray characters. For example, Walter White on “Breaking Bad,” did a lot of horrible stuff. But he’s incredibly interesting because, while he’s lying to his family, killing people, and making blue meth, we (the audience) know that he’s doing so to financially support his family and to heal the disempowerment he gradually built-up during his domesticated adult life as a father and working class high school teacher. No matter how bad Walter White gets, his actions are multifaceted and relatable. Imagine a superhero genre film in which the conflict of, (I don’t know) let’s say Hawkeye (aka Clint Barton), was on par with that of Walter White. That would be awesome.

***BONUS THING - I would love to see Alan Moore’s 1982 in a dark, post-modern deconstructionist series comic series “Miracleman,” adapted to two feature length animated films. It could be directed by Jay Oliva. Actor Paul Bettany could voice the main character, British has-bin turned fascist superhero god, Michael Moran. Because of all the bullshit surrounding the legality of Miracleman’s complicated history, this adaptation will likely never happen. But lets make it happen internet!


A/N: My little cousin owns a pink unicorn plush toy and its name is Pinky. Need I say more?

Words: 1227
Warnings: smut

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My Reactions To The Suicide Squad
  • In September 2014
  • Warner Bro's: So we're thinking about doing a Suicide Squad movie after Batman V Superman...
  • Me: Oh yeah? Who're you thinking of getting for it?
  • Warner: Well we are talking to David Ayer to direct-
  • Me: Sold!
  • In October 2014
  • Warner: So guess who we're talking to star in Suicide Squad!
  • Me: Who?
  • Warner: Will Smith and Tom Hardy!
  • Me: Ooh, that would be cool!
  • In November
  • Warner: Guess who we're talking to for Suicide Squad now!
  • Me: Who can top Will Smith and Tom Hardy?
  • Warner: Margot Robbie is gonna be Harley Quinn, and we're talking to Jared Leto for the Joker!
  • Me: ...
  • Warner: ...
  • Me: Shut up and take my money!
  • In December 2014
  • Warner: So here's our full cast bro, are you ready for this?
  • Me: Hit me with it man!
  • Warner: Will Smith is Deadshot. Margot is Harley. Jared is The Joker. Jai Courtney is gonna be Captain Boomerang. Tom Hardy is gonna be Rick Flagg. And Cara Delevingne will be The Enchantress.
  • Me: *whistles* Nice!
  • Warner: Oh! And we're looking at a few actresses for Amanda Waller! Who do you like best, Oprah Winfrey, Viola Davis, or Octavia Spencer?
  • Me: ...
  • Warner: ...
  • In January 2015
  • Warner: Viola will be Waller! Are you excited?
  • Warner: ...
  • Me: ...
  • Warner: You're starting to scare me man...
  • In July 2015
  • Me: Why you looking so down?
  • Warner: We showed a sizzle reel for the fans at comic con, that was just for those fans, and they leaked!
  • Me: Well that sucks.
  • Warner: Yeah, well, here's the HD version anyways. If people are gonna watch it we don't want them to watch a shitty version.
  • Me: Oh dude, this is a boss reel! Everybody looks grea- Wait... Is that the Joker?
  • Warner: Yeah?
  • Me: I'm buying twelve tickets for this thing now!
Suicide Squad WW total currently sitting at $464 million

Suicide Squad has more than crossed the mark where it needs to be considered a financial success. It should surpass the lifetime total of X-Men: Apocalypse by at least Tuesday and hit (or almost hit) $600 million by next weekend, which is what it needs to make to be called a blockbuster.

TL;DR the DCEU is doing just fine and isn’t going anywhere.


Suicide Squad

Title: Suicide Squad
Release Date: August 05, 2016
Genre: Comic / Superhero / Action
Country: USA
Cast: Will Smith, Jared Leto, Margot Robbie, Joel Kinnaman, Viola Davis, Jai Courtney, Jay Hernandez, Adewale Akinnuoye-Avbaje, Ike Barinholtz, Scott Eastwood, Cara Delevigne, Adam Beach & Karen Fukuhara.
Director: David Ayer
Studio: DC Entertainment & Atlas Entertainment
Distribution: Warner Bros. Pictures


A/N: Finally, this is Part II. Part I can be read here. Thanks for your lovely ideas, guys! I tried to work them all in!

Words: 1649
Warnings: violence/blood/injuries

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A/N: Request from anon. This is Part II. You can read Part I here. Have fun!

Words: 1781
Warnings: traumatic behaviour, mentions of rape, murder, death and abuse, violence

Keep reading