jay saunders

  • Martin Stein: Who broke the coffee machine? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
  • Kendra Saunders: I did, I broke it -
  • Martin Stein: No, no you didn't. Snart?
  • Leonard Snart: Don't look at me, look at Palmer.
  • Ray Palmer: What? I didn't break it.
  • Leonard Snart: Huh? That's weird. How'd you even know it broken?
  • Ray Palmer: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
  • Leonard Snart: Suspicious...
  • Ray Palmer: No it's not!
  • Mick Rory: If it matters -
  • Jay Jackson: Probably not.
  • Mick Rory: ...But Little Lance was the last one to use it.
  • Sara Lance: Liars, I don't even drink that crap!
  • Jay Jackson: Oh really?
  • Jay Jackson: Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
  • Sara Lance: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles, everyone knows that!
  • Kendra Saunders: Okay, okay, let's not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it Professor.
  • Martin Stein: No! Who broke it?
  • Ray Palmer: ...Doctor Stein, Rip's been awfully quiet -
  • Rip Hunter: Really?!
  • Ray Palmer: Yeah, really!
  • Rip Hunter: Oh my god!
  • *Everyone Shouting*
  • *Later*
  • Martin Stein: I broke it. It burned my hand so I dismantled several key parts of it. I predict ten minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
3

05/05/2016: TEX @ TOR

LOL, look at our blue birds taking care of each other. 

But two things that must be discussed:

  1. Saunders seems to be trés jealous of the massage Pillar was giving to Aaron in that 1st GIF.
  2. Look at how Pillar stares at Sanchez after he’s done with the massage. I want/need someone to stare at me like that. 

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An angry PSA about DC’s Earth 2

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS 

ARE YOU THE TYPE WHO LIKES DIVERSE CHARACTERS IN COMICS?

BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE IT

IF YOU DO YOU SHOULD READ MOTHERFUCKING Earth 2

So why should you read Earth 2?

I’M GLAD YOU ASKED

Alright, so the first thing we learn is that in this alternate universe, this evil dude named Darkseid (Might have heard of him. You know, the biggest evil asshole in the DC universe) invades the goddamn Earth with space demons and shit and like half of everyone died.

“But wait!” says you, the convenient representation of the readers, “This is a comic book! Where’s the superheroes?” WOO BOY HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS

Technically,they’re called Wonders in this place. Why? Cause motherfucking Wonder Woman showed up first and she gets to pick the names, dammit. So what does the classic dream team of Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman go and fuck shit up, but these demon assholes keep coming back like the world’s worst fucking boomerang. So what do our fair heroes do? 

THEY BLOW SHIT UP, THAT’S WHAT.

Yeah, that’s right, the Super-Trinity blows the fuck up saving the earth and kicking ass, because that’s how you go out.

So this leaves the space demons stranded, the Wonders of the World dead, and their sidekicks- Supergirl/Power Girl, aka Kara Zor-El, and Robin/Huntress aka HELENA FUCKING WAYNE get sent to the main earth and work their way back to kick ass.

So years later when shit starts to get real again, who comes back? The motherfucking Wonders, bitches.

So, these guys are based on the superheroes from the 40s except cooler, right? These motherfuckers are OGs. So who do we have?

EXAMPLE ONE! JAY MOTHERFUCKING GARRICK,  also known as THE FLASH, BITCHES

So Jay Garrick is a recent college student who hasn’t got shit to do. Sounds like a lot of us, right? But then he gets fucking super speed from none other than MERCURY, THE ROMAN GOD. Because what the hell is cooler than literal godspeed?

“But Tyler!” you say once more, “didn’t you say there was diversity? This is basically the same as most superheroes!”

WELL LET ME SHOW YOU THE GUYS AND GALS HE HANGS OUT WITH

EXAMPLE TWO, ALAN SCOTT: THE ORIGINAL GREEN LANTERN

So you remember that one movie a few years ago with Hal Jordan that did shit at the box office? Or the Justice League cartoon with John Stewart who was badass? Yeah, those two are cool, but this is ALAN MOTHERFUCKING SCOTT.

So, Scott’s a lot like ‘ole Bruce Wayne. He’s rich and owns a TV station and shit, lives the good life. He’s also fucking adorable with his boyfriend:

LOOK AT THESE TWO ADORABLE LIL SHITS. ALAN’S POWER RING IS EVEN THEIR ENGAGEMENT RING AND ITS GREAT EXCEPT NOT BECAUSE PLOT EVENTS.

So yeah, we’ve got your stereotypical white guy and  gay guy, pretty cool. But just you fuckin’ wait, it gets cooler the farther you go.

ON TO KENDRA MUNOZ-SAUNDERS, THE LATINA FUCKING HAWKGIRL

YEP, THAT’ RIGHT. Kendra motherfucking Munoz-Saunders is the Latina Hawkgirl with honest-to-god wings and guns akimbo, bitches. She’s also cool as a fuckin’ cucumber and takes absolutely no shit. Two avatars of nature duking it out? Like she gives a fuck.

That’s not even the half of it. Next we have a personal favorite, KHALID BEN-HASSIN, DOCTOR FATE.

LOOK AT THIS ADORABLE DORK. Khalid Ben-Hassin is an Arabic archaeologist who together with Kendra found the HELM OF KICKASS, OR NABU IF YOU WANT TO BE SERIOUS. Khalid puts that baby on and gets magic powers out the ass, man. Reality? FUCK THAT NOISE

Not only is Khalid an awesome representation of an Arabic superhero who doubles as my smol son, he’s technically mentally ill: after using the Helm, he has short bouts of insanity, trying to process the SHEER AMAZING OF FATE

MOVING RIGHT ALONG, WE’VE GOT POWERGIRL AND HUNTRESS, KARA ZOR-EL AND HELENA WAYNE, ALSO KNOWN AS THE BADDEST BITCHES AROUND

These two get sent over to regular earth when they and their families fuckin’ wreck Darkseid and his demon shits. So what do they do? They motherfucking get right back, because they’ve got shit to do. Kara isn’t the only supergod around either, because we’ve got…

VAL-ZOD, THE BLACK SUPERMAN

VAL-ZOD IS THE COOLEST MOTHERFUCKER AROUND, WHICH IS HIS HOBBY WHEN HE ISN’T EITHER BEING BETTER THAN KAL-EL OR BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF KAL-EL.

Val was also besties with Kara on Krypton, and they KICK ASS TOGETHER.

AND THAT ISN’T EVEN THE HALF OF IT. We’ve got ROBO-LOIS LANE AS RED FUCKING TORNADO, the black-ops team of the World Army, the SANDMEN lead by the SANDMAN HIMSELF. You’ve got SONIA SATO, WHO WILL KICK YOUR ASS BACKWARDS, MOTHERFUCKING AQUAWOMAN, and resident Commander-in-Badass COMMANDER AMAR KHAN, or THE ONLY SANE SON OF A BITCH IN THE ENTIRE WORLD ARMY.

So GO READ FUCKING EARTH 2

9

06/17/2016: TOR Saunders @ BAL

That’s right folks a hat trick for a Canadian boy, the Bringer of Snow, Michael Saunders. The travelling Jays fans knew exactly what to do and began to toss their hats on the field. Some salty O’s fan called it trashy, maybe they should get their guys to pitch better if they don’t want to see it. Even Stro played along and tossed his hat on Saunders and then gave him probably the best hug I’ve seen this season. 

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