jay is john

Founding Fathers age comparison.

In 1776, Benjamin Franklin was 70, George Washington was 44, John Adams was 41, Thomas Jefferson was 33, John Jay was 31, James Madison was 25, Alexander Hamilton was 21 and James Monroe was 18. 

  • Me: *listening to Non-Stop*
  • Me: *Burr gets to YELLING PART IN MIDDLE*
  • Me: I am a strong, independent woman. I will not sing
  • Burr: "John Jay got sick after writing 5, James Madison wrote 29"
  • Me: *flips table, rips clothing off, burns house down*
  • Me: hAMILTON WROTe the oTHER FIFTY ONE.
How I relate to Hamilton Songs

Me: I am not throwing away my shot
Also me: *throws crippled paper* *misses* Gdi.

Me: *should be doing essay*
Me: John Jay got sick after writing five….
Me: Same.

Me: *looks at Daveed Diggs*
Me: BOY, YOU GOT ME HELPLESSS~~~~~

Me: I should listen to other music now….
Me: *looks at Hamilton Soundtrack*
Me: Lord, show me how to say no to this.

Me: *cooking*
Me: I hope that you burn.

Me: *goes on hiatus on roleplay blogs*
Me: *comes back* WHAT DID I MISS

Me: *looks at grades*
Me: B?
Me: I will never be satisfied.

Friend: *talks about basic shit*
Me: *puts hand on her lips*
Me: Lemme offer you some free advice.
Me: Talk less, smile more.

Me: *during Confession*
Priest: What sin have you done, child?
Me: First of all, bear in mind….
Me: Hate the sin, love the sinner.

Friend: *makes stupid decision*
Me: You must be out of your G O D D A M N  M I N D

Person: *sees me looking at my phone intently* What are you reading?

Me: ahaHa definitely not gay smut fanfiction with the founding fathers haha that’s for sure

anonymous asked:

Tell me some weird shit™ that the founding fathers did

FOUNDING FATHERS SPECIFIC:

• Alexander Hamilton spelled Pennsylvania wrong on the constitution.
• Benjamin Franklin wanted the national bird to be the Turkey.
• James Monroe, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson all died on July 4th- James Madison died seven days before July 4th.
• George Washington and Lafayette took a nap underneath a tree after The Battle of Monmouth.
• Two days before signing the Declaration of Independence all the delegates got super drunk.
• Benjamin Franklin basically was man whore in France.
• Benjamin Franklin wrote an essay on farting.
• Benjamin Franklin wasn’t allowed to write The Declaration of Independence because they thought he’d put a joke in it.
• Benjamin Franklin took “air baths” which involved sitting in a bathtub fully nude and writing.
• Benjamin Franklin purposely spelt Pennsylvania wrong on the US currency to defer from counterfeits.
• John Adams had a dog named Satan.
• Alexander Hamilton founded the New York Post coincidently he was involved in the first major political sex scandal
• While in England bromance Thomas Jefferson and John Adams visited Shakespeare’s house and vandalized a chair he used to sit in by chipping piece out of it.
• During the election of 1800 while bromance Thomas Jefferson and John Adams were broken up; Thomas Jefferson told everyone that John Adams was a hermaphrodite and John Adams countered telling everyone Thomas Jefferson was dead.
• Benjamin Franklin brought tofu to America.
• Thomas Jefferson brought Ice Cream and macaroni and cheese.
• Thomas Jefferson told Lewis and Clark to watch out for giant sloths.
• George Washington currently has $300,000 worth of overdue library books.
• George Washington didn’t know that Chinese people were white.
• During the battle of Germantown, George Washington found a lost dog and stopped everything just to return to dog safely to the British side.
• George Washington was deathly afraid of being burnt alive and asked in his will to be buried three days after his death.
• It’s actually Paul Revere on the Sam Adams.
• John Jay didn’t sign the Declaration of Independence, he is famed for framing it.
• Gouvernour Morris got a blockage in his dick and tried to cure it by sticking a piece of Whale Bone down his fucking penis hole. He got an infection and died.
• Thomas Jefferson having such bad social anxiety that he used to fake sick to get out of public interactions.
• Thomas Jefferson broke his wrist trying to inpress a girl.
• Benjamin Franklin volunteered in the fire department.
• Thomas Jefferson had about 7,000 books and when a Virginian Library burnt down he donated about 1,640 books to the library.
• George Washington was an amazing dancer.
• James Madison and Thomas Jefferson were once arrested for riding a horse carriage on a Sunday in Vermont. Which was illegal!
• Thomas Jefferson had a mockingbird named dick who ate from his mouth and shit.
• Alexander Hamilton’s son and his dying in the same spot just four years apart in the same way.
• Alexander Hamilton talking and talking after he was shot even thought he was fucking bleeding out.
• John Jay quitting politics and becoming a farmer.
• John Adams and Thomas Jefferson holding such a grudge against one another that Johnny didn’t even show up to his presidential inauguration.
• Thomas Jefferson only made two speeches during his presidencies. Both were his inauguration speeches.
• Lafayette giving John Quincy Adams a baby alligator as a gift.
• Andrew Jackson got kicked out of a funeral because his mocking bird kept saying fuck.
• James Madison “accidentally” shipping into US a ton of prostitutes. • Andrew Jackson beat the shit out of a guy trying to assassinate him with a cane.

• James Monroe and Alexander Hamilton almost getting into a duel which was stopped by Aaron Burr. • James Monroe served as both Treasury of secretary and Secretary of State.

(This list is getting too long- so I’ll stop there!)