Les Misérables (2012) but every time someone dies it cuts to a one hour documentary about the battle of Waterloo and every time Javert and Valjean meet it cuts to a one hour documentary about sewage systems and every time those candlesticks appear on screen it cuts to a one hour documentary about priesthood in the late 18th-early 19th century

  • Friend: are you ok?
  • *In My Head*: Valjean never knew that Javert committed suicide did he? When he told him to meet him at Rue Plumet and he never came, he must have been so happy thinking Javert has learned mercy. If he had known that Javert committed suicide what would he have done? He would probably feel so horrible about it, maybe even going as far as to blame himself
  • Me: I'm fine
Things said at Les Mis rehearsals:

Choreographer: “Great, see? if everyone put as much energy into their solos as Javert does into killing himself, we’d be on the West End.”

All the prostitutes agreed that our Bamatabois was the World’s Most Polite Molester. We made him a certificate. He blushed.

Enjolras sashayed onto the stage for One Day More like he was on Drag Race. 

Grantaire and Enjolras plotting for twenty minutes on how to make their scenes as gay as possible. The directors are very supportive.


Valjean: (mixes up lyrics ONCE) 

Everyone for the rest of eternity: “MY NAME IS LOAF OF BREAD”


Marius is disliked by the revolutionaries because he’s the only hetero. that is our official Amis-approved reason.

*eponine dies* Enjolras: (goes into La Vie Boheme) DEARLY BELOVED WE ARE GATHERED HERE TO SAAAAY OUR GOODBYES, HERE SHE LIIIIIIIES.

Marius jumped up to the tech booth, fought his way past the sound engineer and a bunch of stagehands just to blast the YTP of Look Down on the speakers. 

Enjolras: Break a leg, Javert! And an arm! And your spine!


Choreographer: Everyone thank the director for accompanying us, especially since he’s sick today, so he isn’t feeling okay.

Director (slumped over the piano keyboard) : Oh, I’m never okay. *stares off into the distance*

i relate to javert because as soon as i make one (1) mistake i too immediately request banishment and death

musical quotes with the same energy

  • “SON” “I’m not your son” 
  • “I don’t want you going to school HIGH connor!” “perfect, so then I won’t go! thanks, mom!”
  • “5 YEARS FOR WHAT YOU DID; THE REST BECAUSE YOU TRIED TO RUN. YES 24601––” “my name is Jean Valjean”
  • “Hey look, a new kid” “I’M NEW TOO”
  • “PIANO MAN!” “my name’s florence” “WHATEVER HOMIE C’MERE”
  • “MISS GLINDA––” “oh, its gaaaaa-linda? with a gaaaa?”
  • “deep-shit?” “uhhhhh DEEP-DISH”
  • “I survived a tree fall he survived much worse” “SHUT UP JESSE”
  • “Who’s house is this?” “ITS MY HOUSE NOW” “SERIOUSLY? WHO’S HOUSE IS THIS?”
  • “80 bucks, for a tux, man we better get LAID” “you’ve been praying for that since sEVENTH GRADE”

feel free to add more

Les Misérables
  • Valjean: i stole fucking bread
  • Javert: five years
  • Valjean: i tried to check on my family you piece of shit
  • Javert: fourteen more
  • Valjean: im free
  • Javert: technically,,,, you're not,,,,, but ok,,,,
  • Bishop: hey u look like ur having trouble come over at my place
  • Valjean: fuck it
  • Valjean: *steals*
  • Javert: ffs you wouldn't be in jail if-
  • Bishop: no it's cool i gave him that shit
  • Javert: oh.
  • 20 years later or smth
  • Valjean: aye im mayor now
  • Fantine: i have a daughter you inconsiderate imbeciles
  • Fantine's boss and coworkers: fuck you
  • Fantine: i don't want to do this
  • Valjean: u don't have to
  • Valjean: hey kid u want some candy
  • Cosette: fuck yea
  • Thénardiers: you want her? go have her
  • 20 more years later i think
  • Éponine: i lowkey love you
  • Marius: im oblivious as shit. ooOO a HOT girl
  • Cosette: ooOO a HOT guy
  • Marius: hey, take me to her
  • Éponine: ok
  • Éponine: (kill me)
  • Enjolras: REVOLUTION
  • Grantaire: you're gonna get us killed, moron
  • Grantaire: (but you're my moron)
  • Les Amis de'lABC: we died.
  • Éponine: me too
  • Valjean: mY FUTURE SON IN LAW IS DEAD
  • Javert: sTOP R I G H T THERE
  • Valjean: *gives Javert guilt trip*
  • Javert: oh
  • Javert: oh shit
  • Javert: *kills himself*
  • A year later I think
  • Marius: all my friends are dead
  • Cosette: i love you
  • Marius: love u too
  • Valjean: im dying
  • Cosette: please,,,, god,,,, no,,,, enough people have DIED already
  • Fantine: hey old pal. ur awesome
  • Éponine: u protected my crush. ur awesome
  • Bishop: ur awesome
  • Everyone: we're all awesome!!

it’s barricade day again and what a fine day to remember that jean valjean saved all of les amis and then adopted each and every one of them + eponine and gavroche and pulled javert out of the seine and took his hand to lead him to a life of ohsomany feels and cuddles and a family and happiness and love

yes happy barricade day mes amis