jasper cillessen imagine

Masterlist (J-M).

Jack Wilshere

James Rodriguez

Jasper Cillessen

Javi Martínez

Jesús Navas

Jonathan dos Santos

Jordan Henderson

Jordi Alba

Julian Draxler

Karim Benzema

Kevin Trapp

Kieran Gibbs

Lars Bender

Leon Goretkza

Lionel Messi

Loris Karius

Lucas Piazón

Lucas Silva

Lukas Podolski

Łukasz Piszczek

Manuel Neuer

Marc-André ter Stegen

Marc Bartra


Marco Asensio

Marco Reus

Marco Verratti

Mario Götze

Mathieu Debuchy

Mats Hummels

Matteo Darmian

Matthias Ginter

Max Meyer

Memphis Depay

Mesut Özil

Masterlist (A-I)

Masterlist (N-Z)

Jasper Cillessen One Shot

Please consider this also as my heartfelt thanks for following me even if I can’t follow back because this is a secondary blog. Special thanks to a dear friend, let-ourworlds-recollide, for the Amsterdam-to-Groesbeek travel info. :) I didn’t use a name so feel free to use yours wherever appropriate and read from your POV. :)


My heart skipped a beat upon seeing the road sign. I leaned against the bus window and followed the sign until it disappeared from my view.

“I’m finally here,” I whispered, my heart bursting with relief. The last two hours or so that I’ve been travelling alone made me anxious—on the train to Nijmegen and now on Bus number 5 to Groesbeek. These are unfamiliar places to me and I gave myself an imaginary pat on the back for reaching my destination in one piece.

I got out of the bus and inhaled the fresh cool air and greenery of the small town. It was a stark contrast from busy Amsterdam where my friends and I were on vacation.

“What are you going to do in Groesbeek?”

“Come on, we should be having fun. What’s with the sudden soul searching?”

I recalled the conversation I had with my friends that morning when I told them I have always wanted to see the Dutch countryside (lame but not exactly a lie). I planned this Amsterdam trip with them almost a year ago, but it was only last month, while watching the Spain vs Netherlands match of the World Cup, that I first laid my eyes on the most adorable young man I have ever seen.

Jasper Cillessen. Dutch goalkeeper. I’ve been a fan ever since. Well, I have always been a football fan but have never crushed like this before on any player. So I started planning and saving extra for this side trip, but I didn’t dare tell my friends because they will never understand, being the non-football fans that they are (but I still love them). They finally let me go, but with the promise that I’d be back in the evening for some drinks with them.

I found myself smiling as I passed by children in football attire who must be on their way to practice. It did not take me long to ask around and find De Treffers, one of the town’s amateur clubs where Jasper used to play. The gates were open but no one was around. I let myself in and walked along the buildings. I giggled as I imagined a young, spirited Jasper Cillessen running around the place. However, I was starting to get anxious because I haven’t seen a single person ever since letting myself in.

“This is weird. Maybe they’re closed for the day?” I wondered out loud. “I should have checked the schedule first or asked someone about it.”

Afraid that I might get scolded, and at the same time disappointed that I came at a bad time, I started walking back to the entrance. I was almost there when I saw someone parking his bike on the racks by the gate.

“Oh good. Someone’s finally here,” I said, starting to walk towards him. But I suddenly froze and felt my heart drop as he came nearer.

I couldn’t believe my luck running into Jasper Cillessen here. I didn’t know it was his day off. Or his free time. Or if I’d even see him during this trip. Goodness, I didn’t even pray for it! I just went to see his hometown, hoping to have some sort of connection with him. I never expected to actually meet him. Or to be inches away from him, because he just passed by and I was gaping foolishly. I noticed him smile though.

Ohmygod that smile. It was even more beautiful in person, I thought, suppressing a squeal. Even his clothes look good on him, and in my lifetime I’ve seen countless men wearing the same plain white shirt, black cargo pants, and red Adidas jacket and sneakers.

But am I going to just let him walk away?

I turned around to see Jasper almost gone and started running after him. It’s now or never!

“Jasper!” I shouted, maybe louder than I intended, and I suddenly felt a bit embarrassed for doing so. But I was glad to see that he stopped.

I was almost out of breath when I reached him, not because of the distance, but because my heart was racing so fast.

Jasper looked as if he was waiting for me to talk. But damnit I got lost in his blue eyes, his long lashes, his pursed lips and his dimples. I took in all that beauty at the same time and the result was an awkward silence.

“I uhh… I…” I stammered. “I… I’m really sorry.”

Sorry? Sorry for what? Get a grip of yourself!

“I uhh… I mean, I’m sorry for stopping you,” I managed to say.

Jasper smiled and shrugged. “It’s fine. I’m not in a hurry.”

He’s not mad! And he’s not a snob! And his deep voice is so sexy, I shouldn’t be even thinking about this right now!

“Oh. I see.” And I let out a nervous laugh, not knowing what to say next.

“Are you visiting someone here?” Jasper asked.

“Uhm no. I was actually just walking around. It’s my first time here in Groesbeek.”

There. I’ve finally calmed down a bit and said something with sense.

“That’s great! Do you want to see the whole place? I can show you around.”

“Y—you’d really do that?” I said, my eyes widening.

Jasper nodded. “What’s your name?”

I told him my name and he pronounced it carefully, looking at me to check if he said it correctly.

“That’s right,” I said with a laugh, but inside I wanted to faint from hearing him say my name.

Jasper beamed his widest smile yet, it made my knees weak.

He’s perfect, I sighed, staring dreamily at him as he walked ahead of me.


Jasper took me to the pitch after going through the building halls and telling me a bit of the club’s history. He was a good conversationalist, and I instantly warmed up to him. I knew from the way he spoke that he has always enjoyed coming here and reminiscing about his beginnings as a football player.

The pitch was empty save for two sprinklers that were on.

“There’s going to be a game here later,” he explained. “But I think we can use it for a while.”

He walked over to a nearby bin and took out a ball. “You want to play?”

I looked at the wet grass. Having wet, squishy feet inside my shoes is one of the things I actually hate. That, and getting caught in the rain in brand new clothes. But I didn’t want to be rude to Jasper, and I most certainly wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to have fun with him. He taught me how to kick and dribble and how to make a good save. He kept explaining a lot more, and he sounded so passionate that I felt the urge to kiss him for loving the same sport I do. Pretty soon we were laughing really hard as he let me try penalty kicks (but I suck) and he saved it every time.

“You were awesome out there,” Jasper said as he approached me, ball in hand. The two of us started walking off the pitch.

“You knew I wasn’t!” I said and hit his arm playfully. He laughed.

“Maybe you’re better as a keeper. But I don’t want to get your clothes dirty. You look really pretty.”

I blushed and looked at him, noticing blades of grass on his cheeks. I leaned over and wiped it off with trembling fingers. It caught him by surprise and he smiled shyly as he wiped his face on his jacket sleeve.

We left De Treffers and walked along the street market, where he made me try some street food and delicacies. A lot of people greeted him, some even approached to have their photos taken with him. I noticed how well-loved he is and I felt proud of him. He showed me some memorable spots afterwards. He talked about his childhood, his family, his career in football, and his life in Amsterdam. I told him about my place, my family, my work and studies, and how I came to know him. All these while walking along the pavement and sometimes stopping by the benches to rest.

“I like this. Having real conversations. Meeting new people. I don’t get to do these anymore, so I want to thank you for spending the day with me,” he said, looking at his hands and fidgeting with his bracelets. He seemed shy and I wanted to hug him for being so adorable.

“I should be the one thanking you, Jasper. You took your time to show me around even though you should be resting or spending time with your family,” I said.

Jasper shook his head and smiled. “I couldn’t think of a better way to spend this day. So what brought you here to Groesbeek?”

It was my turn to look sheepish. But more than that, all I could do was stare at him, as if memorizing the lines and curves of his face.

He chuckled and got up from the bench. “Come on, I’d like to take you to one last place.”


“A bar?” I asked, as we stopped in front of a small brick building with a huge sign on top of the glass door. “But I thought you don’t drink.”

“I have friends who hang out here. I’d like you to meet them,” he said.

I followed him inside to a dimly lit but cozy-looking room filled with faint smells of cigarette smoke and alcohol. There was a man playing a guitar in front of the crowd.

“Hey, Jasper!” someone yelled. A group of guys started calling him one after the other. They started gathering around him, slapping his back and ruffling his hair. They looked ecstatic to see him. Jasper was grinning and shaking hands with them.

The guitarist on stage stopped playing and spoke on the microphone. “What a surprise! Our hero Jasper Cillessen is here!”

Jasper smiled shyly as he acknowledged him with a wave.

“And you brought a girl?”

This caused more heads to turn towards our direction and I could feel warmth starting to creep up my cheeks.

“Come right here, miss!”

“M-me?” I mouthed, pointing at myself.

“Yes, you!”

I turned to Jasper with a desperate look, but he just grinned and nodded.

I walked towards the stage and sat on the stool beside the guitarist. I heard claps and whistles from the crowd.

“What’s your name? You look new here. Are you his girlfriend?”

“I—no! No! I mean, I’m just a fan. He was nice enough to show me around,” I answered, blushing furiously.

“I see! Lucky fan! You’re the first girl he brought here! Why don’t you sing for us?”

I looked at Jasper’s direction and saw him being teased by his friends. He winked at me and my insides melted instantly.

I remember Jasper mentioning his favorite song to me that afternoon during one of our conversations. I whispered the title to the guitarist and he nodded. As he started playing the intro of the song, I leaned towards the microphone and said, “Jasper, this is for you. Thanks for today.”

The claps and whistles grew louder and his friends were becoming rowdy. But Jasper was looking at me as if I was the only person in the room, and by the time I finished singing, there was a dreamlike gaze in his eyes holding me preciously.


I stepped out of the bar a little past seven, with Jasper holding the door for me. The din and laughter immediately died down as the door closed, and we were welcomed to a rather chilly night. He offered to take me to the bus stop. We walked in silence, and I wondered why. Jasper was quite lively that afternoon.

“They were really nice,” I said at last, referring to the crowd at the bar. “Thank you for taking me there. I had fun.”

Jasper smiled without looking at me, but I felt him reach for my hand as we continued walking. The touch of his cold skin against mine caught me by surprise. I looked at both of our hands clasped together and felt a tingling sensation creep up my arm.

Silence still. The bus stop came to view and my heart sank.

This is already perfect. This cannot end just yet.

I suddenly found myself struggling with crazy ideas such as faking a stomachache, pretending to my friends that I got lost, or even using all my money to book in a hotel so I could stay longer with him.

“What are you thinking about?” Jasper asked, noticing my knitted eyebrows.

I looked at him and he was smiling. That was the third time I was at a loss for words because of his smile and damnit I knew I looked dumb just staring at him.

Jasper let go of my hand as we reached the bus stop. I sat down on the steel bench while he stepped out to look at the approaching vehicles.

“Looks like it’s going to rain,” he said, looking at the sky.

“I hope it doesn’t,” I said absently, still occupied with thoughts of not leaving.

“Come out here,” he gestured, smiling.

As I approached him, he wrapped his arms around me and rocked me side to side. We seemed to be slow dancing by the side of the road, with the only light coming from the nearby street lamp.

I buried my face in his chest, inhaling hints of citrus and pine in his scent. I felt him kiss the top of my head.

“Will I see you again in Amsterdam?” I asked. The longing in my voice was obvious and I really didn’t care if he noticed it.

I suddenly felt the first few drops of rain on my flushed cheeks. The drizzle turned into a downpour and by then, with my hair plastered to my eyes, I can barely see Jasper’s face. But I knew he was smiling. Again.

Jasper tucked my hair behind my ears and leaned over to kiss me. He was chuckling as his lips brushed against mine, and I was giggling. I tasted the rain in his soft lips, inhaled the mint in his warm breath. My brand new coat and dress were soaked, my feet were becoming squishy in my boots, but for the first time in my life—damnit—I didn’t care.

Stay - Jasper Cillessen

I sat legs crossed on the counter, my tight dress wrinkled and disheveled, looking at the puddle of spilled wine spread across the floor. Jasper was leaning against the stove, his biceps visible through his white button up as he folded his arms across his chest. The clock read 1:23 AM, which seemed about right because I was exhausted. I hopped off the counter and opened the cabinet with cleaning supplies, wanting to clean up the mess before going to bed.

“Don’t cut yourself on the broken glass,” Jasper cautioned, looking down at me.

“Don’t worry, I have plenty of experiences cleaning up your messes,” I scoffed.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked in annoyance.

“Nothing,” I mumbled, getting up from the floor and walking away from him.

“I’m tired of your backhanded little comments,” he shouted after me. “If you have something to say, then just say it.”

“I do say it,” I screamed at the top of my lungs, turning around to face him. “Don’t act like I don’t tell you what’s wrong. You just choose to ignore it. I tell you you’re not home enough and that I miss you. I tell you that I think you’ve been drinking too much. I tell you that I’ve been feeling sick lately, but you don’t care, about any of that. And then tonight, at your brother’s wedding I have to find out that you lied about going to training yesterday. That you were with some girl? Don’t you fucking dare try to turn this around on me. After everything I put up with from you, I’ve earned the right to make as many damn bitchy remarks at 1 o’clock in the morning as I want to.” I was shaking with rage, hot angry tears making their way down my face.

Jasper stood fazed in front of me, eyes cemented to his feet. “I can explain,” he said, voice soft.

“I’m sure you can. But I don’t want to hear it. I’m going to bed.” Kicking off my shoes, I headed up the stairs leaving Jasper standing there. I took off my dress and crawled beneath the covers, searching for comfort. For an hour, I was just tossing and turning, incapable of falling asleep despite how tired I was. But when I heard Jasper tip toe into the room, I feigned slumber.

“Y/N, are you awake?” he whispered, but I didn’t answer and was lucky to be on the side of the bed opposite the door. I felt him gingerly sit down right next to me, combing through my hair with his fingers.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I don’t know what wrong with me. I love you so much, but I just can’t seem to stop hurting you. I know I’m the one making you sick and I feel awful about it,” Jasper confessed. I could hear the sadness in his voice and was tempted to turn over and comfort him, but I lie still.

“You’re right about the drinking. God, it’s so embarrassing to admit. That’s why I went to that therapist yesterday and couldn’t tell you. I’m so embarrassed of how I’ve been acting these past few weeks. I don’t even want to come home because I don’t want you to see me like this. But I guess that’s part of the problem too. It’s always about what I want.” He was obviously crying at this point and I was struggling to hold back my own tears.

“I miss you so much,” he sobbed. “I love you so much.” Jasper lied down beside me and carefully draped an arm over me. “I just need to know you won’t leave. I’ll do anything, I swear. I love you, Y/N.” I blinked back tears and slowly reached my hand up to grab his.

“I’ll stay, I promise,” I whispered, turning around to face him. He looked surprised, but immediately embraced me, pulling me towards him.

“Thank you.”

On Your Doorstep.

I’ve always been a risky person and one who often acts before even thinking of what the hell it is I’m doing. It’s just who I am so it kind of explains what I was doing here in Amsterdam with luggage piece after luggage piece. I had literally packed up everything I owned and traveled the miles to get here.Jasper had no clue I was here and that was what I was most nervous about.

It was unclear what made me think it was a good idea to pick up my life and move here without even giving my boyfriend the slightest clue I had made a plan to do that. My friends had called me crazy for thinking it was a good idea to just pack up and go without Jasper’s approval first but I knew him, or at least hoped I knew him as well as I thought, and I didn’t expect him to just shun me away.

Maybe it would be a pleasant surprise, right?

We had always talked about living together and I often fantasized about it. I thought of what it would be like to come home every night, or at least when he was in town, to him waiting on me and vice versa. It was every girl’s dream to fall in love and spend every waking moment with that person.

I had accomplished a part of my dream already but I needed more. I hated being in a long distance relationship with Jasper. The visits were so rare and I found myself missing him in a painful way.

So why not make the jump and move? I had been using statements like that to make my decision sound reasonable though I knew deep down it wasn’t. There was that chance he wouldn’t be too happy about my random choice and then what was I supposed to do? I had no family or friends here besides him. I had packed up everything to be here with him.

I grew far more nervous when I got to his home. I knew he was home due to our text conversation so it wasn’t as if I could put the conversation off much longer. I kept my belongings in the car, knowing it would be overwhelming if I popped up with a ‘Hi’ and all the clothes I owned dragging behind me.

My steps were deliberately slow to keep me from reaching his door but once I was there, I still couldn’t bring myself to knock. My heart was beating a mile of minute as I tried to take deep breaths. Why was I so stupid to think this was a good idea?

I was startled when the door began to open and there stood Jasper, a shocked expression displayed on his face. “Wh-what are you doing here?” he stuttered.

I began to talk quickly, my words running together as they often did when I was nervous. “I had this crazy idea that I should…” I bit my lip and paused, afraid to carry on as we still stood outside. “Can I come in? I think this is a conversation for us to have inside.”

He now looked nervous as well, like he was afraid of what I was going to say. “Yeah sure.” He turned back around and led me inside, shutting the door behind us. “I hope my reaction didn’t throw you off too much. I’m just really surprised to see you here. You didn’t even tell me you were coming.” He grabbed me before I could take a seat, pulling me into his chest and kissing my lips sweetly.

“I’m happy to see you too.” I looked up into his sparkling eyes, my hands resting on his chest. I wanted to just continue as we were without me having to mention while I was really here. Maybe I should just play it off as if I’m just coming to visit…

No, that wouldn’t be right. Besides, I had already left my life at home behind. There was no way I could return to it now without jumping over quite a few backward hurdles.

“There’s a reason I came here though and it wasn’t just to see you. Can you sit for a minute?” His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he reluctantly let go of me and headed off to the sofa.

Jasper had a way of thinking the worst of things so I could only imagine what was running through his head right now. “You aren’t going to tell me you’re breaking up with me, right?” he belted out. I chuckled, realizing his mind was already going off the deep end. “No, Jasper.”

“So what is it, Y/N? You’re scaring me,” he admitted.

I took a deep breath and finally joined him. “You know I make some crazy decisions sometimes right?” I cocked my head to the side and looked at him.

“You’re scaring me,” he continued.

It seemed I couldn’t make him wait for much longer. He was already growing anxious. “Allmyluggageisinthecar,” I ran my words together, barely breathing or pausing between syllables.

His eyes squinted in confusion. “What did you just say?” I was unsure if he had truly not heard me or if he was getting me to repeat the statement so he could hear it one more time to let it sink in.

I sighed and took my hands tightly into my lap for comfort. “I got tired of seeing Ana and her boyfriend so happy together every single day and I was stuck just missing you. They’d go out for dinner all the time and all I could do was Skype you and hope we’d see each other within the next month. I know it sounds stupid to let jealousy drive my decision so let me clarify, it wasn’t just that. I need you, Jasper. You’re everything to me and it doesn’t feel right for me to be living so far away from the person I love.” I bit my lip, anticipating what he would say next.

“What are you saying, Y/N? Spit it out.”

I didn’t even notice I had begun crying until I felt a tear land on my arm. “Would you think I was crazy if I said I packed up all my stuff to move here and live with you?” I raised my eyes to meet his but he didn’t offer a response.

For a moment, it was dead silent until he uttered a chuckle. I wasn’t sure if the laugh was a way of answering yes to my question or because he didn’t believe what was coming out of my mouth. It could well be a mix of both.

“I would be surprised,” he finally spoke. “Why? That’s a weird question to ask.” It seemed he had yet to catch on and it was now up to me to spell it out. “And why are you crying?” He took his thumb and carefully wiped away the visible tears falling from my eyes.

“I packed up all of my bags and now…I’m here.” I could imagine the wheels turning in his head as it all began to click together.

“You’re moving here?” he questioned. I nodded reluctantly waiting for him to say something else.

“What made you do that?” His response wasn’t the most comforting. A smile didn’t pop up on his face either to let me know he felt excited by my decision. Now I officially felt stupid.

“I guess I wasn’t thinking,” I admitted.

“So where were you planning on living? Here?” The tone in his voice all but told me ‘You couldn’t have thought you’d be living here with me’.

This definitely wasn’t turning out how I thought it would. “I don’t know what I was planning on doing,” I lied. I knew all along what my plan had been and it was to live here with him but I didn’t want to make myself look any more stupid than I already had.

“Why do you sound so down all of a sudden?” Jasper frowned and took my face between his hands. He looked concerned as he waited for me to respond and that only caused my eyes to water again.

“I thought you’d be more excited. I had this quirky idea that you’d be sooo happy to see me here and want me to live with you and…” I gulped, dropping my head in embarrassment. “I don’t know.”

He quickly picked my chin up into his hand to meet my eyes and gave me a gentle smile. “Y/N, I love you and I’m always excited to see you. Don’t ever think differently. I’m just a little taken off guard you made that type of jump for me. It was the last thing I expected you to say but don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of living with you. You’re my soulmate. Why wouldn’t I be happy to be sharing my space with you and seeing you every morning?”

I bit my lip and spoke reluctantly. “So you’re not mad I didn’t ask first?”

He chuckled in disbelief. “Not at all. It’s the best surprise you could have given me.” I immediately smiled and leaned forward, compressing our lips and pecking him twice after. “Now where are your bags?” he questioned. “We gotta get you settled in.” Jasper got up from the couch and held out his hand to help me up.

“They’re in the car,” I motioned out of the door.

“So every morning when I wake up, you’ll have my breakfast made, yeah?” he questioned with a dainty smirk.

“All of your favorites, roomie.”

Today’s Posts.

New Position - Marco Reus

Seeing Red - Jasper Cillessen

Hidden History - Gareth Bale

Nanny Intervention - Edinson Cavani

Like a Kid On Christmas - Eden Hazard

Mommy Knows Best - Sergi Roberto

On The Green - Mats Hummels

Outside - Isco Alarcón

Imagination - Nuri Şahin

* I was going to post a Thiago OS but I’ve decided to rewrite it so I’m keeping it at 9 requests for the day plus I’m super tired. Enjoy and like pleaseeee and let me know your feedback and favorites and yeahhh. I know some of the guys aren’t the most popular footballers in terms of request but I encourage people to step out of their box and read about someone new! :)

Storm - Jasper Cillessen

Jasper sat on the couch playing video games as I bumbled about in the kitchen making hot chocolate. Unfortunately, both our activities came to an untimely end as the power cut out.

“Damn it,” I heard Jasper mutter right before a loud crash of thunder boomed outside. I jumped only slightly, but it was enough to knock one of the empty mugs right on to the floor where it shattered. “Emily, are you ok?” Jasper shouted as he ran into the kitchen.

“I’m fine,” I whined, “just as clumsy as usual.” I bent down to pick up the shards of ceramic, but Jasper stopped me.

“Just leave it for now, you can’t see very well and you’ll cut yourself,” he reasoned. I stood back up and kissed his cheek for his thoughtfulness.

“What are we going to do now?” I asked.

“Find some candles so I can see this beautiful face again,” Jasper laughed, pinching my cheeks. I smiled cheesily against his hands before walking to the cabinet where I kept candles. He followed me, holding onto my hand in the dark. I handed him two big glass jar candles and I carried the miscellaneous ones of various sizes. We lit them carefully and scattered them around the living room before retreating to the couch.

I shivered as a bolt of lightning sparked outside. “Oh, does someone not like storms?” Jasper teased, wrapping an around me as I leaned into his side. I rolled my eyes and scowled childishly.

“I don’t think anyone actually likes storms,” I muttered in my defense. He laughed and nodded patronizingly. We laid in silence for a while, just listening to the sound of the rain against the windows. As he ran his fingers through my hair, Jasper noted that the rose scented candles smelled like me.

“You know what smell reminds me of you?” I asked him.

“What?” he asked hesitantly.

“Coffee,” I answered.

“Really? I don’t even drink it that much. I thought you were going to say grass or something,” he laughed.

“Nooo,” I explained, “but you always make a pot for me before you leave in the morning. So coffee makes me think of you,” I shrugged.

“What else reminds you of me?” he asked amusedly. I pursed my lips in thought.

“Hmmmm, chocolate chip cookies of course,” I said in reference to his cookie monster tendencies. “And the color blue, and sharpies.”

“Sharpies?” he mumbled.

“Yeah, I always find them in your pockets when I’m doing laundry,” I laughed. “Your turn,” I insisted, resting my head on his lap.

“Ok, uhm the color red because that’s what your nails always are,” he said, pecking a few of my fingers. “And those little peppermint candies I always dig out of your purse. And giggling. And the sunrise.”

“Sunrise?” I asked, waiting for an explanation.

“Yeah, do you not remember?” Jasper wondered. I shook my head slowly, not a clue as to what he was referring to.

“That first morning you spent the night. I woke up and reached over and you were gone. I thought you left but when I sat up you were standing in front of that big window in the bedroom. In your underwear, I fondly remember, watching the sunset. That’s how I always think of you when I’m gone, ya know,” he explained.

“I didn’t know that,” I blushed.

“Well now you do,” he shrugged, bending forward to kiss my forehead.

“I think I’ve changed my mind,” I said, curling into him and looking into his beautiful eyes.

“About what, baby?” he whispered.

“Maybe I do like storms.”

Lose - Jasper Cillessen

I turned the TV off and sunk back into the couch. I knew Jasper would be upset at the devastating loss his team suffered today and I didn’t know what I would be able to say to make him feel better. They didn’t lose often, but when they did, Jasper rotated between sulking around and punching walls. Realizing there was nothing I could do, I busied myself with tidying up the kitchen and making dinner.

Just as I was tossing the salad, I heard the front door burst open and then slam shut. A very pissed off looking Jasper stomped through the house, but lightened up slightly upon catching sight of me.

“Hi, baby,” I whispered sympathetically. He threw off his jacket and left it on the couch.

“Hi, Bree,” he mumbled, before leaving a hasty kiss on my cheek and retreating to the bathroom. Hearing the shower turn on, I took it as a sign to give him some alone time. I finished cooking and laid a bountiful spread on the dining table. I pulled out two glasses and found Jasper’s favorite bottle of wine, letting it flow nearly to the top of each glass. Hearing the water turn off, I picked up one glass and made my way to the bedroom.

“Jasper?” I called out cautiously. He turned and looked at me blankly. I was unable to keep from frowning seeing him so upset. “Uhm, dinner is ready, if you’re hungry. If not…” I trailed off, setting the glass of wine on the bedside table and offering him a smile. He nodded, but remained silent. I sighed and left, trying to remember to not take his anger personally.

Returning to the dining room, I knew Jasper wouldn’t be joining me so I decided to eat in front of the TV. Although I brought a full plate of food with me, I lost my appetite and mostly just nibbled on bread as I finished more wine than I was accustomed to. My eyelids grew weighty and I felt myself slipping into an early slumber.

I groggily rolled over, peering at the fluorescent green numbers on the clock with one eye. It was nearly eleven pm, I had been asleep for almost two hours. But I wasn’t on the couch anymore, I found myself beneath the covers of my bed, no doubt thanks to Jasper. I was rubbing my sleepy eyes when I heard a strange noise coming from the living room. I slipped out from under the covers and silently treaded towards the origin of the noise.

“J-Jasper?” I asked, my voice rising two octaves and my eyes widening in fright upon seeing my boyfriend sitting on the couch, low sobs escaping his throat as his cheeks were stained with tears.

“Bree,” he said stunned, his voice breaking, “I thought you were sleeping.” He turned away from me, but I saw him hurriedly wiping his eyes.

“Jasper, what is it?” I asked, practically running towards him, “is this about the game?” I pulled his arms away from his face as I sat next to him. He tried to swallow his tears, but failed and nodded in response to my question. I pulled him into me and let him bury his face in my neck while his arms clung onto me.

“Why are you so upset this time?” I asked, rubbing my hand up and down his back.

“It was my fault,” he stuttered. “I knew it and so did everyone else. This whole week at training I was off, and today, I mean, I let everyone down.” He pulled back and sniffled, looking at the ground.

“It was not all your fault,” I spoke adamantly. “If you win as a team, then you lose as a team. No one blames you, where did you get such a crazy idea?”

He leaned back against the couch and shook his head. “It’s not crazy, it’s true,” he whimpered.

“No,” I near shouted. “When you make an amazing save, do you take credit for winning the game?” I asked. He eyed me confusedly but shook his head no. “Then you don’t get to take credit for the loss just because you didn’t make every save. You are talented and tenacious and one night, one week even, does not take that away from you,” I pleaded to him.

He sighed heavily and pulled me onto his lap. “Thank you for saying that,” he whispered, finally making eye contact with me. I shrugged and then laid my head on his shoulder.

“It’s true,” I mumbled.

“I’m sorry I was rude to you tonight, Bree” he said. I hummed and nodded in acceptance. “Was dinner good?” he asked.

I laughed. “I don’t know, but the wine sure was,” I admitted, before yawning. He snickered and then placed a kiss on my forehead.

“Come on drunky, let’s get you to bed.”