Jasper: There’s a restaurant that opened a month or so ago in the uh…fashion district of the city. You know, where all the fancier folk live? Dapple: Why would you want to take me there? Jasper: Maybe I think you’re fancier than them and we need to show them how it’s really done, haha! Dapple: So, you wanna take me to a restaurant, hm? Jasper: Well sure. It saves you from eating my cooking for yet another night. Dapple: You know what? I’d love to.
One of my all-time favourites! Moments after Raven succumbs to the temptation and takes the key to the City of Light, we get this spine-chilling shot where her revelation, her absence of pain starts at her leg and creeps up to the rest of her body. The entire scene, beginning with her taking the chip to here is absolutely stunning. Lindsey so beautifully straightens herself and looks up, and that’s when we know that Raven knows that it’s worked. It was executed so perfectly, kudos to the wonderful Lindsey Morgan!
Eliza’s performance in this scene really reminded me of Lady Macbeth from Shakespeare’s Macbeth, as she tried to scrub away the blood she was hallucinating (’Out, damned spot! out, I say!’). Taking place immediately after Clarke had mercy-killed Finn, Eliza perfectly displayed the hysteria of this moment as she shakes and raves incoherently. Her sharp breaths really encapsulate the trauma Clarke has just experienced too. It’s just beautiful.
It’s really difficult to choose a scene with Bob Morley because each scene he acts in really does display how talented he is. Of course, the 4x04 scene where Bellamy realises Octavia is dead is breathtaking and still haunts me, but that’s a given, so I’m choosing another scene. This moment from 4x07 made me cry…a lot. As Bellamy had to sit and listen to people he could have saved die because he failed them, watch his gaze. He is not mentally there. His gaze is so very distant, it’s made to feel like he’s seeing all his failures play out before his very eyes. He breaks then and there as he’s forced to listen to the vocalisation of his failure, the nasty feeling settling deep within. Bob was fantastic through 4x07, but this scene really got to me.
I remember the first time I watched I Am Become Death, I fell in love with this particular moment in the episode. Raven staggers to the end of the bridge and, with the little energy she has left, successfully sets up and sets off the bomb. It was so wonderfully done by Lindsey, everything from the way she moved to the breaths she took was oh so perfect.
This is one of my favourite Bellamy and Clarke moments – look how intense Bob and Eliza’s gazes are! They really do perfectly display just how exhausted Bellamy and Clarke are, and in finding out they can’t kick back just yet, we can see them search each other’s eyes for strength and hope.
Monty killing his mother was one of the most intense scenes I’ve ever seen on this show. Chris did such an amazing job with this…the screams Monty let out? They’re a vocalisation of just how traumatising this is for Monty, how he has to make noise, make chaos in order to pull back the trigger. And it was all so perfect. My heart broke when watching this scene, and even more so afterwards when Monty realised his mother’s death was sort of in vain because he might have been able to save her.
This scene between Michael and Bob is of the most fascinating from season 3. I was rewatching it and decided that I really did enjoy Pike’s character. The reason why this scene is in here is that we see, so perfectly from Michael, Pike locating Bellamy’s low point, and catches him when he’s weakest. @cosmicbell often labels Pike as a demagogue when we discuss this season together, and I agree. He promised action, he criticised stagnancy and Bellamy, somebody who’s been extremely affected by the grounders’ actions, was just tired of waiting around and never retaliating. He bought into Pike’s argument, and this is the scene that it occurs in. You see it in his face as Pike challenges him: ‘I’m willing to suffer the consequences to save my people…are you?’ and we know that Bellamy has begun to cross over to the dark side.
8. Jasper scatters Finn’s ashes [3x04]
I highly recommend everybody to rewatch this spectacular scene with Devon and Chris, from start to finish. It’s one of my favourites from the whole show. These two best friends have lost each other, and they’re trying to find that old spark once more. They fight, they argue, they yell. They’re no longer the pair they used to be. And as Monty leaves, Jasper screams ‘See you on the other side!’ and trips over, spilling the jar of ashes. The remnants blow away with the breeze, mingle with the Earth and Jasper realises what’s just happened…and Devon’s performance in that moment is so incredibly breathtaking. One of his best, for sure.
This is fairly recent, of course, but Richard and Eliza were amazing throughout this entire scene. Murphy’s desperation is so well voiced by Richard: when he screamed ‘I love her!’ my heart broke completely. And as Murphy starts provoking Clarke, I began to wonder how Eliza would portray Clarke’s reaction. Clarke, who has, in the past, tried to develop a harder exterior around her friends when making tough decisions…she did something I did not expect. She lifted her head slightly, and through her lashes looks at Murphy, and her eyes are glistening with tears! She’s been trying this whole scene to be assertive in her decision to use Emori but Murphy’s speech almost takes her to her breaking point. I was really impressed with both Richard and Eliza here, they were just amazing!
10. Niylah tells Bellamy that he’ll always be sorry [3x11]
Bob Morley, once again and as always, comes through perfectly in this scene he shortly shares with Jessica Harmon. ALIE got to Bellamy, and bad. ‘Too bad you were never that devoted to Gina.’? Do you know what Bellamy heard, instead of that? Probably something like ‘you could have saved her, but you spent that concern on Clarke, who didn’t even end up coming back to Arkadia with you. You killed Gina. You misplaced your responsibilities, so it’s your fault.’ And the final straw: the mention of what he did to the Trikru army, and Niylah hitting him after finding out. Bellamy flips out and has to leave the room, kicking a barrel, punching something. He looks up to the sky, so incredibly hopeless, and shakes his head. He’s realising he’s never going to get over this pain, he’s never going to stop feeling guilty, and worst of all, the pain he’s caused to others is so deep and so sharp and he can’t handle knowing that. He hears Niylah’s voice behind him, and the sight of her brings all these emotions back. He tells her what he truly feels, that he only had good intentions and he’s sorry, but she delivers a harsh sentence: ‘People like you always are’. This small moment between these two was jaw-dropping to me. I loved it so much.
Honourable mentions: Lincoln’s season 2 ordeal with the reaper drugs, literally all of Erica Cerra’s (ALIE/Becca) scenes, the Lexa and Roan fight from 3x04, Clarke getting in the rover with Jasper and discovering Abby is chipped, Luna mourning Derrick in her arms, Octavia surviving the fall in 4x04 and Abby smashing the radiation chamber in 4x08.
The appointment with the obstetrician came around faster than I’d expected. Jasper took the afternoon off his practical work to come with me. I’ll admit that I had a few bad dreams leading up to it, worrying about what we’d see once we went in, but it went better than expected.
Me @ Clarke:
Girl, you trynna get yourself killed? Seriously, you have some extremely dangerous ideas. And don't worry, Lexa can take care of herself. Btw, why don't you just kiss Lexa and get it over with?
Me @ Lexa:
You are so badass ily. Seriously, I've never loved you so much.
Me @ Bellamy:
You nasty. Why you do this? Why you break everyone's heart? Why you break Kane's heart? I loved you, my sweet child, but look what you've done now.
Me @ Pike:
You son of a bitch. Not only are you the Donald Trump of Arkadia, but you have now managed to take sweet little Bellamy and force him into your stupid plans. I hope a gorilla rips of your arm.
Me @ Octavia:
You are so smol and feisty and ily and I'm sorry you are hurting so much bby plz hold on.
Me @ Lincoln:
WHO THREW THAT ROCK AT YOUR HEAD? IMMA FUCK THEM UP. NO ONE TOUCHES MY SWEET GROUNDER CHILD. Ily.
Me @ Jasper:
Finn's ashes? really? Really Jasper? I cannot believe you right now. You gotta get off your drunken ass rn and fix yourself. I get that you are hurting inside but that doesn't give you the right to hurt everyone else too.
Me @ Monty:
I'm sorry my sweet summer child, I'm sorry for what you have gone through. Let me love you.
Me @ Miller:
Cute boyfriend for a cute boy.
Me @ Raven:
Where were you??????
Me @ Roan:
Idk why but I love you and I'm glad you aren't dead.
Me @ Ice Nation Queen:
Me @ Abby:
Okay I love you but why on Earth did you have to decide there be an election right then? You should have just kept being chancellor until this whole mess is over. AND WHY FOR THE LOVE OF GO HAVE YOU NOT KISSED KANE YET????
Me @ Kane:
Hello my sweet sweet muffin. I'm so sorry that you had your heart broken so much. Ily. But can you please get to banging Abby a little faster?
‘Jasper go grab a teddy’ you tell him, pointing to his bed
where his collection of teddies are sprawled across his sheets, you stand
throwing the last few items in his bag. ‘Mummy come?’ he asks as he reaches his
arms up to you, you bend back over, picking him up and holding him on your hip
to allow him to place his teddy in the bag. ‘No baby boy, mummy is staying
home’ you tell him again. ‘I want mummy’ he pouts, his chin trembling a little.
‘Your gonna have a boys night with daddy and Uncle Ashton’
you remind him but he shakes his head, placing it on your shoulder and his
little arms tighten around your neck. You sigh, picking up the bag and heading
back down stairs; you leave the bag at the front door ready for Calum then walk
through to the kitchen, placing Jasper on the table where you had already set
out his coat and shoes.
‘Apple?’ he asks pointing at the fruit bowl and you laugh
shaking your head, ‘Can mummy put your coat on first?’ you ask, he nods picking
up one of his shoes and holding it to his mouth. You slide his arms through
each hole before zipping it up; you push his foot into one of the shoes and
then try to take the other form his hands. ‘Ta’ you speak but he frowns pulling
it closer to his, mouth, you sigh picking him up and moving him to the counter,
you place one hand on his legs so he wouldn’t fall and reached for an apple,
and the apple cutter you push the apple through with great effort only using
one hand, you hand him one piece of apple.
‘Can mummy have the shoe now?’ you asks, he takes the apple
with one fist and drops the shoe, you grab it before it falls from his knee,
just as you push on the shoe you hear the doorbell ring through the house, you
lift Jasper into his high chair, placing a few more pieces of apple on the tray
for him, you ruffle his hair. ‘I’ll be back’ you tell him, leaving the room.
You open the door, ‘You don’t have to use the bell Cal’ you
tell him, looking into those brown eyes you’ve missed so much, he smiles shyly,
‘Yeah well, not my house no more’ he nods slightly, the words hitting you as
much as they seem to hurt him. ‘Come on in’ you tell him, ‘I have packed up all
his stuff, there should be plenty of nappies but your gonna need to grab some
wipes’ you explain nodding to the bag on the floor, he nods too ‘No problem’ he
stands awkwardly for a moment, hands stuffed into his pockets.
‘So erm…I was wondering if you maybe wanted to come to the
park with us? You know before I take him’ Calum asks, you pull your phone from
your pocket humming as you check the time. ‘Actually’ you tell him, rubbing
your forehead already feeling terrible, ‘I have this thing, I…I gotta get
ready’ you explain, he nods, and its then you notice his eyes don’t hold any
sign of happiness, no excitement or love, but disappointment, hurt maybe and
you feel your chest tighten.
‘Do you have enough money? You know taxis and stuff, I don’t
want you getting stuck’ he asks, you smile softly seeing the care in his eyes,
his hand coming from his pocket holding his wallet, you shake your head pushing
his wallet down. ‘Cal you give me more than enough for Jasper’ you tell him, ‘I
know it’s just…you know, I wanna look after you too’ he tells you his voice
barley a whisper. ‘I’m good, thanks’. At that moment you hear a bang and snap
your head towards the kitchen, rushing in to see Jasper looking over his high
chair where his juice bottle is lying on the ground, you chuckle a little going
over to pick it up.
‘Hmm apple, yummy’ Calum’s tone excited and caring now, he
goes over to Jasper picking him out of the chair, Jasper giggles shoving the
apple to Calum’s lips, he opens his mouth wide, the apple and Jaspers fingers
disappearing into his mouth. Calum widens his eyes as he hums and Jasper laughs
pushing his other hand on Calum’s nose to get his mouth of this hand.
‘Oh no, daddy’s ate your fingers’ you gasp, Jaspers eyes
snap to you and he giggles again. ‘Yummy Jasper’ Calum smiles as he watches his
son, ‘Should we go the park?’ Calum asks him, Jaspers eyes widen as he claps,
moving his head forward, lips pouted to kiss Calum however head-butts him instead
causing Cal to laugh.
You walk them to the door, taking the bag to the car for
Calum while he buckles Jasper into his seat in the back . Once he is done, you
move closer to him where he stands by the car door, you lean into the car
pressing your lips to Jaspers head, ‘Love you little man, see you tomorrow’ you
tell him, he pouts again and you smile brushing your fingers over this cheek to
knock off a piece of apple. Calum closes the door and gives you a small nod,
‘Call if you need anything’ you remind him and he chuckles walking around the
‘I got it, enjoy your date’ he tells you, your taken back
for a second, not mentioning it was a date you hadn’t thought he would have
caught on but he had, and he wasn’t nasty, he gave you a genuine smile over the
roof of the car before climbing into the driver’s seat. You step back waving to
Jasper when he looks to you, the engine roars and then the passenger window
rolls down. ‘(Y/N)’ Calum calls from in the car, you move closer, dipping your
head back into the car ‘Let me know your home safe’ he tells you, you have no reply
a bust of bubbling in your belly as you see that care in his eyes, the genuine
love. You nod slightly before stepping back and watching them drive off.
-Hey, how’s our little man? Did he go down okay?-
You throw your phone onto the bed and head into the
bathroom, switching on the radio and turning on the shower, you rid yourself of
your clothes and step under the warming water, sighing as you untie your hair
allowing your locks to fall down your back, the water making it heavier. You
close your eyes tilting your head back.
You caught that feeling in your throat, tightening as you
try to swallow down the chocking tears that were trying to fall. You think of
Calum, his eyes sparkling, his smiling taking over his face as he holds Jasper,
rocking him to sleep and you can’t help the longing feeling that you should be
there, right under Calum’s other arm.
The last couple of months have been awful, you’ve smiled through,
determined to be okay, for your son, for yourself but no matter how hard you
try, no matter how busy you are, how tired the last thing you think of at night
is the way Calum used to look at you, hold you, his smile that used to make all
the stresses of the day vanish.
Calum the man who sleeps alone at night, or maybe not but
that’s not your issue anymore. And you try to remind yourself why you are here,
why he isn’t next to you but no matter how many bad things you remember, how
shit he made you feel over the last months the old Calum has returned, your
Calum. The guy who made you laugh until you cried, who would text to check on
you, the one would couldn’t sleep without hearing your voice before he slept.
And in fact, over those months apart you have spoken more than the last year
you were together.
You drag yourself out of the shower, drying yourself before
climbing bare under your covers, lifting your phone to see three un read
messages from Calum.
-He’s fine, went to sleep hours ago, how was your evening?-
-Did you get home safely?-
-I miss you-
You feel tears start to run down your cheeks, before you
have thought it through your holding your phone to your ear as it calls through
to him, only two rings in and his voice whispers very lightly down the line to
‘Hi’ you sigh, for some reason finding yourself whispering
also, not to disturb the night. ‘Calum, I love you’
‘I love you’ he whispers, a crack in his voice, ‘Can I come
home baby?’ he asks, this only causes more tears to spill from your eyes and
you try to calm your breathing, pushing through the tears.
‘Yeah, yeah please come home’ you tell him, a weight leaving
your whole body, you hear movement, ‘I’m leaving Jasper with Ash, I’m coming
baby, I’m on my way, please just….just wait for me’ and the line dies. You lie
in bed trying to hold back the reluctance of having him back, trying to keep
your eyes open, waiting for him, finally to have your Calum.
You must have dosed off because next thing you know his arms
are wrapping around your waist, pulling you into his chest, his lips pressing
gently into your neck where he nuzzles himself in. ‘I got you baby, I’m here’.
you guys, the reason Raven wasn’t mad about Jasper stealing Finn’s ashes wasn’t (just) because the pill made her ridiculously happy and forgiving – SHE PROBABLY DIDN’T REMEMBER WHO FINN WAS
the city of light made Jaha forget who Wells was. that doesn’t just mean he forgot his son died, it means HE FORGOT HE EVER HAD A SON TO BEGIN WITH. it means that until Abby brought up Wells, and Alie reminded him, Jaha had completely forgotten what were probably some of the best memories of his life. he didn’t just lose the sadness he associated with losing Wells. he lost the happiness he associated with having Wells in the first place.
so if the city of light pill made Raven forget her pain over losing Finn, that means she doesn’t remember him at all. she lost all of her childhood memories with him. she lost all of those cute, happy moments we saw in the flashbacks in “spacewalker.” there might be no pain in the city of light, but there’s no happiness either.