jason manning

the caloric requirements of being batman have to be absolutely insane, like i’m telling you right now, to your face, that batman could probably eat his weight in girl scout cookies on any given day, but i’ve never seen him with snacks. i rarely see any of the robins with snacks, even though they are probably eating all of the time, because they are normal people who spend upwards of six hours daily kicking the shit out of people, which i can promise you is difficult. it makes you hungry. no wonder alfred looks so busy all of the time. he’s probably fucking cooking.

you: if you could have any superpower, what would it be?
me: the ability to dramatically and flawlessly set up a fold-up chair
with one hand
you: what
me:

you: holy shit

  • someone: you can tell a lot about someone from their favorite fictional characters!
  • me, nervously shoving all of my sarcastic trashbag characters with daddy issues and poor decision-making skills out of sight: um

wicked games : a fanmix for the suffering game 


“You know the rules: once you sacrifice something here, you don’t get it back!”

christina aguilera - enter the circus/welcome // lady gaga - paparazzi // circus contraption - carousel // mother mother - body // stolen babies - filistata // humanwine - rivolta silenziosa // the dresden dolls - necessary evil // firewater - borneo // p!nk - funhouse // dead man’s bones - lose your soul // jason webley - dance while the sky crashes down 

Bruce: *walks into Batcave and sees Jason with a guitar* 

Jason: Hey B I wrote you a song! *sings to the tune of Piano Man by Billy Joel*

It’s 12 o'clock in Gotham City 
The Joker is busy killing everyone
There’s an old man sitting next to me
Makin’ love to his Catwoman cuz he’s nasty 

He says, “Son, you gotta stop shooting bad guys”
And I’m like “Bruce, don’t tell me what to do”
Cuz I died and he cried but I came back and stuff
When I wore green Robin panties

(Batkids join in)
La la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Sing us a song, you’re the Batman
Beat up some thugs tonight
Cuz you’re boring and brooding and it’s getting annoying
And you’re the one and only Dark Knight

Now Roy from the Outlaws is my BFF
I hang out with him and Kori
And he’s quick with a joke or to shoot an arrow in your foot
And together we like pissing off Batman
He says, “Jaybird you’re the most awesome guy ever”
As we kicked an alien’s ass
And I’m like “I know I’m the coolest
“Learned it all from the All Caste”

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Now Dick was Batman while you were dead
He never had time for Barbara cuz he sucks at relationships
And Tim’s dead inside cuz everyone he likes died
And he probably hasn’t slept in five years

Oh Damian is a murderous freaking demon spawn
Who is probably gonna kill someone the second he’s left alone 
Also Steph keeps stealing all the food from my fridge
But I don’t mind cuz I stole it from the manor anyway

Sing us a song you’re the Batman
You have a cool British butler 
Also you don’t know when to stop adopting orphans
And you probably need an intervention by now

By the way Cass stole my jacket yesterday
And you didn’t even care when I told you
So I went to all of your Rogues and gave them your number
So suck it old man, you totally deserved it  
And you’ve had seven sidekicks so far
And at least six of them have died at some point
Now I’m starting to think maybe that’s a bad sign
But oh well it’s too late to deal with that now 

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Sing us a song you’re the Batman
And you’ve got a pet cow for some reason even though I’ve asked you several times for a dog and you kept telling me we couldn’t have animals in the Batcave but I guess that’s just a big fat lie so fuck you Bruce  
Well we’re all in the mood for some crimefighting
And by the way you’re really old 

Jason: *guitar solo and ends song* What’d ya think old man? 

Bruce: … 

Bruce: *tired sigh* Where is the sweet embrace of death when you need it 

My aesthetic is Jason Todd being so ride or die that he would fly into the country where he was literally tortured to death because his new friend seemed like she could use the moral support/an extra pair of eyes, and not even taking a plane that could actually fly on its own so that his other new friend could carry it in and feel useful.