❝ Funny how you’re dead, people starting listening. ❞
the words strike him more personally than he cares to admit; not that she knows, how could she? before he had been — he had been a bird. a robin, singing songs to try & match the one before him, trying desperately to be like the one before — & he had been replaced, like the one before. except the one before had left of his own accord, sung his own tune. but jason? jason’s wings had been snapped, had been plucked, torn from his back & stomped six feet into the ground. the very same ground that he had clawed his way from, split fingernails & an empty grave were now a part of who he was. a part of everything he was.
he wonders how much she knows. she is sweet; good. the kind of sweetness that the world would be eager to tear apart, that a part of jason wants to rip in half. what she had was an illogical sort of good that so few were blessed with, so few could lay claim to. to her it seemed to come natural & it made him so very bitter. she had been born of two monsters, creatures who had torn man & woman alike apart. their laughter — no, his laughter still haunted him.
how hard it had been to breathe. to try to speak & crawl & survive. how dark it had been afterwards. she would never know that, would she? oh how he wanted to say he hoped not. he wanted to hope that she would remain untouched by the talons of a world so dark. he also wanted to hope that she would be torn into pieces, innocence shattered… but he could lay claim to neither hopes & instead, he would lean outside of the coffee shop he had deemed ‘ theirs’ with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.
there is a long inhale before smoke pours out of his mouth after passing through his lungs. he makes a point not to blow it in her direction, though he’s not sure why. when he speaks, he doesn’t mean to sound so bitter — & yet he does,“ no kidding. “
tracks // 01. if my heart was a house - owl city // 02. feel again - one republic // 03.you found me - the fray // 04. home - edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros // 05. sara’s song - ludo // 06. unpack your heart - phillip phillips // 07. the sinking man - of monsters and men // 08. dead sea - the lumineers // 09. below my feet - mumford and sons //