jason guy smiley

Hi.

So here’s a song from my record. You might not want to listen to it. I can totally relate. I see a lot of music on here and people swear up and down I should hear and I just skip it. But this song means a whole lot to me. I mean, obviously all my songs do. But let me tell you a story about this one, and you can hit play while you read it.

I used to take care of these kids. There were 3 of them. I loved them so much. I’m not going to go into a lot of detail on the situation because it’s private and involves other people and you know how that goes. But for about 3 years I spent basically 24 hours a day taking care of these kids. The situation I was in there was emotionally destructive and I stayed a lot longer than I should have because I didn’t know what to do.

But I did leave. It was a really hard time for me, and it took a long time for me to understand how to deal with the guilt, and this song is about that. The first verse is sort of my apology to them for leaving. The second verse deals with the way that I was treated while I was there.

The last email I sent to the mother of the kids, was an excerpt from a poem by Lora Mathis called Hidden in your aorta is a way for me to win you back and when I sought out who had authored it, I found her blog and all her other amazing writing (seriously, go follow her) and when it came time to end my album, I knew that if I could get her to read that part of the poem, it would be perfect and mean so much to me. And she did it! It’s really her reciting it!

So the poem comes in, then I touch on apologizing to the kids once more, and then my friend Lydia recorded some amazing vocal melodies that honestly just capture how peaceful I became inside once I accepted how things turned out. And this song is absolutely so reflective of the last year or so of my life and it would really just mean a lot to me if you listened to this one.

The Tenth Song

you were innocent
when the bullets flew
i'm sorry you had to endure
the way that i was abused
and it made me crazy
and it made me sad
you deserved more than i gave
you deserved more than i had

you were my whole world
you were my everything
you were my morning sun
you were every evening
but i went away
you were taken away
and now i've lost things
i can't bring myself to say

i'll never be sure what happened
i'll never know the truth
i could never make myself understand
what it's like to be you
it would take far too long
to count all the times that you truly hurt me then made me apologize you were my only thought you were all i could see in my search for you all i lost was me but you sent me away so i pushed you away and now i've lost things i can't bring myself to say
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here’s a kitchen video of crushed by milwaukees best from captain, we’re sinking that i made cause i just opened up a twitter account.

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this is me singing a corrected version of a bitter divorce by captain, we’re sinking with special guest on back up vocals, me.

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drunk outdoor 2am singing. maps by the front bottoms.

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she told me again “Guy, I prefer more handsomer men, but for you tonight, i will make an exception.”

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cause i made my mistakes
and i’ve said my laments
and now my girl’s moving all her things
outta the apartment

Mexican Guitars
Jason Guy Smiley

wine and guitar tonight. here’s a drunk cover of mexican guitars by the menzingers. i messed up some words in the middle, but whatever.

You were an old friend
The kind I could confide in
And drink with on random neighbors’ porch steps
Our glossy eyes painted portraits of the streets
You were an old friend
That covered up your innocence
With five tattoos of all the bands you loved in high school
The ones you said that I had to listen to all the time

I did what I did to get away from this
Cause everything that’s happened has left me a total wreck
And everything that I do now is meaningless
So I’m off to wander around the world for a little bit
Without one hundred channels with nothing on the TV
And the great pessimistic unknown

So does anyone know the best way to go?
Which road that I could take to get to Mexico?
Cause I’m so sick of living in this ditch
With only the memory in the back of my head
I’m on cruise control and the radio was on
Yeah, they were playing that song
That we both learned on our Mexican guitars
I’m on cruise control and the radio was on
They were playing that song
That we both learned on our Mexican guitars
You were my old friend

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Crushed By Milwaukee’s Best - Captain, We’re Sinking cover

This is forced and I am drowning now, 
I’m buried underneath the ground 
and I’ve learned that my face molds into my hands. 
Everyone here looks too good for me. 
If god had no sympathy he’d say son, 
you’re the one thing in this world 
that I didn’t spend time on. Am I slowly losing my mind?
I’m on my knees and I’m begging please. 
Mary says don’t be a fool. 
The hysteria inside of me is turning me into a fool.
Don’t cry young boy, mama’s coming home.
As a boy he’d rub his wrists on fences 
and realized that he lost his senses. 
He’d go home screaming in pain while his mother cleaned his cuts. 
Ten years later and he’s had enough, 
he’s on a building looking to jump he says 
if Jesus walked on water then I can walk on air. 
But as he falls he hears his mother cry. 
He looks at her and then he dies.
So cry young boy, because mama’s not coming home.

Listen

the highest pitch you’ll probably ever hear me sing at. a cover of lazyhead and sleepybones by they might be giants i recorded a few years back. just grabbed it off my old computer.

all vocals and instrumentations are me, except for the fake drums, which are done by a ghost or a robot or something.

Lazyhead and Sleepybones
Always disagree
Though everybody says they should be friends
They’re too tired to see

When Sleepybones says he’s feeling tired
Lazyhead wants to rest
When Lazyhead says it’s “number one”
Sleepybones says it’s “best”

When Lazyhead uses imagination
Sleepybones daydreams
Sleepybones says, “It’s not what it looks like”
And Lazyhead says, “It’s not what it seems”

Lazyhead and Sleepybones
Always disagree
Though everybody says they should be friends
They’re too tired to see

When Lazyhead says somebody’s “skinny”
Sleepybones says “thin”
When Sleepybones says “identical”
Lazyhead says “twin”

When Lazyhead says the window is “closed”
Sleepybones says it’s “shut”
When Sleepybones says that something “isn’t”
Lazyhead says, “It’s not”

Lazyhead and Sleepybones
Both take naps so long
And even though they should be friends
They can’t get along

Lazyhead and Sleepybones
Always disagree
Though everybody says they should be friends
They’re too tired to see

I've got one Jealous Again, again
Jason Guy Smiley
I've got one Jealous Again, again
I've got one Jealous Again, again
I got one Killing Joke
I got what was bound to happen
What was broken now's been broke
I parted with my Neurosis but I kept the Lookouts
I got the record player but I didn't get the house

I've got one Black Flag Damaged
And one Golden Shower of Hits
I left the Misfits coffin set but I fucking kept the Spits
Now I got Group Sex and No Control
I got Suffer and Let's Go
I left Freedom of Choice with the Guilt Show

I knew it was over when I put on Walk Among US
You grabbed the TV remote control
You put on Survivor and I put on some headphones
And cheated with my first love rock and roll

I took back my Replacements and grabbed my E13,
Bullet, Nihilistics, and the banned God Save The Queen
This wasn't like the Faith/Void
This was a clean split
If I didn't grab my records
They may all been smashed to bits

Take your Guns N' Roses with the Robert Williams cover
And I'll take the Fugazi picture disc
19 or 20 years ago, I labeled my slip covers
That was a union I wasn't willing to risk

my cover of less than jake’s “the rest of my life”

I fell asleep last Saturday 
Underneath polluted skies
I walked alone on those Jersey nights, and I 
Saw the boardwalk start to fall
The emptiness starts to drown
The quiet corners off this town, and I…
Late last night, I made my plans
It was the only thing I felt I could do
Said goodbye, to my best friend
Sometimes there’s no one left to tell you the truth

It’s gonna kill me: The rest of my life
Let me apologize while I’m still alive
I know it’s time to face all of my past mistakes
It’s gonna kill me for the rest of my life

This is my all time low
Somehow it feels so familiar
Somehow it seems so familiar
I feel like letting go
And every second that goes by
I’m screaming out for a second try
Said goodbye, to my best friend
Sometimes there’s no one left to tell you the truth

It’s gonna kill me: The rest of my life
Let me apologize while I’m still alive
I know it’s time to face all of my past mistakes
I’ve got to live with them the rest of my life

This is the mess I’ve made
These are the words I can’t erase
This is my life support, shutting down, for the final time
And it twists like a braid
And kills me for the rest of my life

If you won’t forgive me
The rest of my life
Let me apologize while I’m still alive
I know it’s time to face all of my past mistakes
It’s gonna kill me for the rest of my life…

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Well I loved you more when you were sad
I loved you more when you were sad
I gave you all that I had
You just don’t love me anymore
I gave you all that I had

When did our love start to fade?
When did you become just a roommate that I hate?
She said “It was when you gave up on me”
“And you stopped being my medicine, became my disease”
That’s why I have to leave again

That’s why I’m leaving

Now Jesus Christ I’m not what you had in mind
Jesus Christ don’t cry

I made a list of everything that I despise
And I wrote your name down several times
I’m waiting for my whole world to fall apart
I’m waiting for the storm to start
I deserve to be happy

I am dead again