I’d rather go blind Pt. 2
A/N: So it’s finally here, I know its trash but I tried my best also I highly recommend listening to I would rather go blind by etta james while reading this It really sets the mood. So ya also Please request imagines!! I love you all thank you for 800 followers I’m so fricken lucky.
Word Count: 2225 holy guacamole
Weeks went by and you threw yourself into school trying to distract yourself from the gut wrenching pain in your heart. You were either spending your days in the library or at one of your two jobs, you rarely slept, because lying in a cold empty bed was only a reminder of the warm soul you had let slip away. So when you did have free time you would mostly spend it singing, music helped you forget him, forget the sound of his voice, the feeling of his arms wrapped around you, forget why you loved him. It was your outlet and it was the only thing that was constant in your life. No matter how much you told yourself you didn’t love or need Daveed you weren’t fooling anyone. despite not ever calling him or even reaching out to him like a normal person, you just kept a close eye on his social media. You watched as hamilton exploded and clipping grew in popularity you watched your best friend achieve his dreams and you couldn’t help but feel guilty for not being by his side. But he seemed happy, all the pictures he posted his dimples would peak through and his eyes would squint a little from the huge smile on his lips. ‘ding’ your laptop chimed signaling that you had received an email.
Dear Ms. (Y/L/N)
We were hoping you would consider preforming here at Joe’s pub we saw some of your videos and your talent blew us away. We hope to see you soon, contact us as soon as you can.
All your sadness melted away, they wanted you to perform at joe’s pub. Letting out a yelp of excitement you frantically replied agreeing to performing on saturday. What the hell were you gonna sing what if no one came, what if you messed up. out of instinct you dialed jasmine’s number, she had performed at Joe’s plenty of times before she would know how to help.
“hello?” Her voice instantly calmed your nerves
“Jasmine! Hi it’s (Y/N)”
“OH MY GOD (Y/N) WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN HOW ARE YOU IT’S BEEN MUCH TOO LONG” she squealed into the phone
“I’m getting by but actually I have some pretty exciting news” you could barely contain your excitement as a huge smile creeped onto your face.
“I got invited to perform at Joe’s Pub it will be my first live audience performance in over 4 years Jas! I’m SO FUCKING HAPPY”
The two of you screamed and giggled, you were sure you would get a noise complaint but nothing could bring you down.
“OH MY GOD (Y/N) I’M SO PROUD YOU KNOW ANT AND I WILL BE FRONT AND CENTER”
“AH JAS THANK YOU!! I was worried no one would come, well I have a couple songs I know I want to perform so I gotta practice those, given that it is friday today and I have the show tomorrow!”
“Alright I will let you get ready can’t wait to see you tomorrow it’s been much to long honey. let’s grab lunch soon. I miss you, we all do.” her voice was softer at the end it sounded as if she was sad.
“I miss you all too Jas, talk soon love you. Bye!”
“Bye (Y/N) see you tomorrow!!”
hanging up the phone you couldn’t wipe the stupid smile off your face. For the first time in months you felt as though there was a light at the end of a tunnel. You scampered off to your music room to master the songs you would be performing tomorrow night.
You woke up on saturday full of butterflies, It was the first full nights sleep you had gotten in months. Rolling out of bed you blasted music throughout your apartment. You brewed a fresh pot of coffee for yourself, You danced around your apartment like a fool, grabbing a broom pretending it was a microphone. Coffee in hand you spent the morning on the phone with jasmine asking her countless questions on what you should expect. She helped you refine your set list, gave you some tips for pre-show jitters and promised that you would have a huge support group. By the time it was 4pm you had hopped in the shower, washing your hair and body scrubbing at your skin, washing away any nerves or insecurities that plagued your mind. reassuring yourself there was a reason they hired you. Music still blasting through your bluetooth speaker, you started your makeup, once you were satisfied, you finished off your look with a deep red lipstick. choosing your favorite black lacey jumpsuit you pulled it on and damn you looked good. pulling out your little black heels you slipped them on before grabbing your phone wallet and keys and heading out the door. arriving at joe’s you were full of anxiety, sure you had been singing since forever but you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were gonna mess up. Walking in through the back door the sound of music and loud chatter filled your ears and simultaneously calmed your nerves. Pacing back and forth backstage you ran through your vocal warm ups, cracking your knuckles and twisting the ring that sat on your finger just a few of the nervous ticks you’ve had since you were younger.
“(Y/N) (Y/L/N)?” a tall man peeked his head in your dressing room
“That’s me!” you chirped
“You’re up” he ushered you out of the room handing you a mic, you took a deep breath as you heard the band announce you.
“and now we have a incredibly talented artist who hasn’t performed for quite some time but she’s about to blow you away!! please welcome (Y/N) (Y/L/N)!!”
You walked on stage, your eyes scanned the surprisingly crowded audience, you spotted jasmine almost immediately due to her screaming and whistling. You blew her a kiss before making your way over to the microphone stand. “Hi guys! Well I’m (Y/N)(Y/L/N) as you may or may not know. I’ve been singing since I was little but I haven’t performed in quite some time so I’m so excited to be back on the stage.” You paused taking in your surroundings and soaking up the atmosphere before you continued. “I’m gonna be singing you a few songs tonight, So I’m gonna start with a slower song, I’m sure you’ve hear it. I’d rather go blind by the legend etta james herself. This song really hits home for me and I hope you like it.”
You heard the first few chords of the song and you tapped your foot to the beat.
Something told me it was over
When I saw you and her talking
Something deep down in my soul said, ‘Cry, girl.’
When I saw you and that girl walkin’ out
Your eyes were squeezed shut as you perfectly executed each note. Opening your eyes and scanning the room they landed on a certain curly haired man. anger bubbled up inside you when you saw daveed standing in the bar, you could feel a fire light inside of you when your eyes met, How could he just saunter in here, god he was so blind.
Whoo, I would rather, I would rather go blind, boy,
Than to see you walk away from me, child, no
You shot him a knowing look saying ‘this is about you’ The look of pure shock on his face was priceless. Looking into the audience there was a general shocked look on everyones face. Especially your friends, none of them knew you could sing like this, they had heard you belt broadway show tunes drunkenly but they had never heard the voice that you kept locked away. You grew up listening to soulful music it practically ran in your veins. You loved performing it allowed you to truly be yourself and it also put your heart out on the line. Getting lost in the music you barely noticed that a majority of the Hamilton cast was sitting in the pub all of their eyes glued to you.
hoo, whoo, I was just, I was just, I was just
Sitting here thinkin’ of your kiss and your warm embrace, yeah
When the reflection in the glass that I held to my lips now, baby,
Revealed the tears that was on my face, yeah
hitting the run at the end of the verse caused the audience to burst into a chorus of cheers earning a smirk from you. doubling over and pressing your hand into your stomach as you poured your heart into every single note. You ran your hand through your hair and allowed yourself to fall into the character of a broken hearted lover. Which wasn’t to hard for you given your current situation with Daveed. Adding on a couple of your own little runs, you swayed to the music as the final chorus was approaching.
Whoo, and baby, baby, I’d rather, I’d rather be blind, boy
Than to see you walk away, see you walk away from me, yeah
Whoo, baby, baby, baby, I’d rather be blind boy
Holding the last note your eyes fell shut as you held back tears, Daveed had been your best friend for years and this girl walks into his life and completely replaced you. to say it hurt is an understatement. the band finished the song and the crowd erupted into loud cheering and screaming. Your eyes met jasmine’s and you noticed her wiping away a tear. Your heart swelled at the sound of all the cheering, people liked your music, you were making your mom and dad proud. “Thank you thank you!” After you sang a few more songs your set was over. Finishing the show gave you such an adrenaline rush. Your whole body was buzzing and you were radiating confidence like never before. you stepped off the stage and walked towards your friends. You could see all of them huddled around a small table. Before you could make it to the table jazzy popped out of nowhere tackling you in a bear hug. “(Y/N) SINCE WHEN COULD YOU SING LIKE THAT WHAT THE HELL” You simply giggled and held her tighter.“You never asked jas!” you replied with a smirk on her face, she stuck her tongue out at you and you let out a loud laugh.
“(Y/N) (Y/L/N) how did I not know you could make me cry by just singing” Lin screamed wiping away a few stray tears before pulling you into a warm embrace. The next few minutes were spent being praised by your good friends. You were talking to jasmine when you felt a familiar hand tap your shoulder. Spinning around to see who it was your eyes were met by the one and only Daveed diggs. Seeing him in person brought back so many memories. His red puffy eyes made your heart ache, his brown eyes were full of regret and pain, you knew he was sorry, just from the way he looked. You realized then you wouldn’t be able to stay mad at him, no matter how badly you wanted to you couldn’t stop yourself from flinging your arms around his neck and breathing in his scent. “You came” you muttered into his neck.
“(Y/N), of course I did. I’m so sorry for everything (Y/N) I should’ve realized that you were more important than some girl I’ve known for maybe 3 months, I’ve been so blind, I broke up with samantha, (Y/N) I need you in my life” He murmured into your hair. Pulling away from the hug your hands were still wrapped around the back of his neck and his hands were comfortably gripping your waist, why did this have to feel so right. It would’ve been so much easier if you just hated him, but god damnit you loved this man more than anything.
“David you broke my heart when you just dropped me for samantha. Why would you do that to me?” you whimpered. “I thought you would never love me back, so I tried to move on but you were the only thing on my mind and seeing you perform tonight was just a reminder as to why I fell for you.” bringing his hands to your and face cupping your cheeks. “Let me make it up to you. let me show you the love you deserve, can’t have you going blind now can we” He whispered, foreheads pressed together, his eyes flickered from your lips back to your eyes asking for permission. You simply nodded before he captured your lips in a passionate kiss. God it didn’t feel real, he was really kissing you, his warm lips molded perfectly with yours and god were his kisses intoxicating. You smiled into the kiss letting your hands run through his hair, you had waited quite some time for this. you pulled away breathless “you’re lucky I don’t wanna go blind diggs” you giggled, your friends cheered while jasmine screamed “FUCKING FINALLY MY OTP IS TOGETHER” you and daveed laughed before he pulled you back in for yet another kiss. Through all the tears and pain you finally had your daveed back.