jared's tongue

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little jared? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in my dad’s prison, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on real jails, and I have over 300 confirmed inmates. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top warden in the entire superjail. You are nothing to me but just another accountant. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this penitentiary, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me in my superjail? Think again, jared. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of alices across the jail and your jaredness is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, jared. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your jared life. You’re fucking dead, jared. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my rainbows. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of alice and I will use her to her full extent to wipe your miserable jared ass off the face of dimension 5612, you little jared shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” suggestion was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking jared tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn jarediot. I will shit psychedelia all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, jaredo.