anonymous asked:

Karasuno's reactions when their s/o uses TERRIBLE pickup lines on them?

Yaaaas the reverse of the situation is here ft. oblivious crush. also some of these pick up lines aren’t terrible gomen

“If I told you I worked for ups would you let me handle your package?” Daichi had never moved so fast in his life, jumping across the room to his partner and covering their mouth to prevent them from saying anything further. The smart people were stifling their laughs so as not to vex Daichi but Tanaka and Noya were having a field day, practically rolling around on the floor. Daichi quickly got them all back to practise while he slipped his partner off for a quick talk about appropriate timing. He didn’t hesitate to slap their ass playfully before returning to practise though.

Suga was sitting innocently at his computer desk as his partner read on the bed. Suga had said he would be finished with his work 20 minutes ago and now they were getting restless. He was busily typing when a pair of arms snaked around him and began tugging lightly on his shirt. He felt his partners lips hover next to his ear as they whispered “Are you Cinderella? Because I see these clothes disappearing by midnight.” Suga couldn’t help but to laugh at his partner and pull them around the chair to sit on his lap. “That was terrible!” His giggles grew darker and his eyes hooded over slightly “Why should we wait until midnight?”

It was Asahi’s turn to make breakfast, so he’d decided to get up before his partner and busy himself in the kitchen. He was decorating pancakes with syrup and raspberries when he heard them padding into the room and turned to see them sleepily rubbing their eyes. He loved how they looked in his oversized shirts. He went back to focus on getting them a drink when a pair of arms wound themselves around his lower waist. “Good morning sleepyhead. How do you like your coffee?” he asked. They hummed for a second as they thought before murmuring against his back “I like my coffee how I like my men. Hot, tall and strong.” They teasingly grazed their fingers across his abs as they spoke and Asahi nearly knocked the pancake plate to the floor. 

Noya and his partner had finally dragged themselves out of bed and were getting dressed for the day. Noya sat sleepily on the bed and watched as they styled their hair in the mirror. “Your hair looks good” he managed in his half asleep state. They didn’t miss a beat before replying “Your face looks good. I’m not even looking at it, I just know.” Noya’s mouth formed an o shape as he processed his partner’s smooth comment. “Damn” he muttered as he jumped onto the floor, running over to his partner to hug them from behind. “You’re too good!”

Tanaka’s partner sneakily looked over their laptop to try and get a peak at their boyfriends wonderful abs as he changed after his shower. Its not as though they had to be discreet about it though because he had walked out with only a small towel tied limply around his hips, exposing his beautiful v line. “I want to wash my laundry on those abs.” Tanaka turned to see his partner practically drooling at the mouth as they stared intently at his abdomen. He found himself blushing slightly at the attention but he still bounced his pecs to amuse them further. They fell backwards in a mock faint and he laughed before jumping onto the bed next to them and pulling them onto his chest. They almost really did faint when they felt that he still hadn’t put a shirt on.

Hinata lay propped up on some pillows as he intently watched a volleyball match on his laptop. His partner lay next to him, going from watching him to watching the screen. They couldn’t help but adore the childish look on his face that made him look like he was practically shining with happiness. “Hey! Hey Sho, have you heard about the Guinness book of cute records?” They leant right up into his face and whispered “It’s 400 pictures of you” before booping his nose with a smile. Hinata gushed immediately and pushed his parter back onto the pillows so he could snuggle against them. “That’s impossible because you’re cuter!” he retorted. 

Kageyama had returned home panting and sweating after a long run. The sight of their boyfriend glistening with sweat and breathing heavily was something they enjoyed greatly. They leant against the doorframe before calling out to him. “Are you from Japan? Because I’d like to get in Japants.” Kageyama jumped out of his skin and glared at them with red cheeks as he processed what they said. He muttered out a short ‘idiot’ before matching off for a shower but he did stop to peck their lips and ask if maybe they wanted to join him.

“Kiss me if I’m wrong, but Dinosaurs still exist right?” Tsukki sighed heavily through his nose as his partner spoke up again. He turned to show his partner his clearly unamused face before turning back to the documentary they were watching. If they expected him to play along they had another thing coming, he thought to himself. “But Kei, you’re at the triceratops of my food chain!” They poked him to get him to pay attention to them. They pouted as he ignored them and turned to the tv, which gave them a brilliant idea. “Kei, you’re like a brachiosaurus. Know why?” He shrugged his shoulders “Because their necks aren’t the only thing thats disproportionally long.” At this point Tsukishima would pick them up and forcibly remove them from the room.

Yamaguchi was feeling particularly self conscious as he walked out of the locker rooms in his shorts, that had shrunk significantly in the washing machine and now sat snuggly against his ass. He did his best to walk to the bench without anyone noticing him but a loud voice rang out from across the room. “Ay gurl, come over here and let me Rattatap dat ass!” Yamaguchi blushed a violent red as his partner hollered from their seat. He covered his face in embarassment as he sat down and avoided the smug gazes he felt on him. Even Tsukki was chuckling silently next to him, to which he lightly hit him.

Kiyoko and her partner were walking home from practise on a particularly cold day. Kiyoko was noticeably shivering so her partner stopped her and tried to put their coat on her, to which she protested. “I’m fine, really. You should worru more about yourse-” Kiyoko cut herself off with a loud sneeze. “I’d say ‘bless you’ but it seems God already did.” Kiyoko’s cheeks turned pink at their comment and she tried to find something to say in return. Before she could speak they draped their jacket over her shoulders and grabbed her hand to walk her faster. “Come on, lets get you to my place as soon as possible so we can ran you a hot bath before you catch something besides adorableness.” 

Yachi was frantically rummaging though her wardrobe to find something presentable to wear for her date. She felt like they’d already seen her in everything so she wanted to wear something she’d never worm before, to wow them. She pulled out a dress she’d been saving for a special occasion, a blue organza dress with sakura blossoms on it. She dressed and hurried out of the house to meet with her partner, who’s jaw literally dropped when they saw her.  She began to get nervous, thinking she’d overdressed before they spoke up. “That’s weird, I’ve never seen a princess outside of her castle before1” Yachi put her hands over her face and bent forward out of embarrassment, prompting her partner to sweep her under their arm and kiss her head before taking her for a day of fun.

Bonus Tooru bc I have so much respect for this boy rn: “Are you an alien? Because you’ve abducted my heart!” his partner exclaimed dramatically as they draped themselves over him on the sofa, causing them both to laugh. “I couldn’t help it. And besides, you were already out of this world” he said with a teasing wink. They smiled as he pulled them up to straddle his lap. “You know, Mr Alien, your eyes glow like the sun on my home planet.” He raised his eyebrows at them as he pulled them closer. “Really? Because I was just thinking that you’re as radiant as the twin suns on mine!” They giggled and hid their face in his chest as he played with their hair. “I’m serious! Your dad must be an astronaut or something, because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes!!”