japan baby

“Do you know how lucky you are missy?” Your husband Finn, very serious by the way, asked your infant daughter, their blue eyes matching each other.”You stole mommy’s boobs from daddy and you get to kiss them and touch them whenever you want” He playfully played with y/d/n nose, trying to get a giggle in return. You try to contain yourself from bursting into laughter as you enjoyed watching Finn bond with y/d/n.”When are you planning on giving them back to me missy?” Finn held y/d/n up, questioning her.”Help a daddy out baby girl.” Tilting his head onto his shoulder, he gave your daughter a pout.”As soon as you finish smack talking our daughter, who by the way doesn’t understand a word you are saying, you’ll find me in our bed, in lace, waiting for you to unwrap me.” You yell across the hall, making your way to your bedroom.

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
Looking back, I can’t remember the truth. I blew everything out of proportion so I could feel the hurt and betrayal and write about it in vivid detail. It was my own method of torture. My own undoing; and I enjoyed every second of it.
—  c.j.n.