That’s my dream. Some people wanna run with the bulls in Pamplona, some people wanna see the pyramids of Giza, you know what my dream is? To be a highly-functioning alcoholic. Highly-functioning. Firing on all four cylinders, great writer, all this kind of stuff, but is mildly to severely drunk most of the time.
—  Janeane Garafalo

So I started the night watching Bill Hicks, tried to watch some Sam Kinison, but my deep and abiding love for Janeane Garofalo won out. She is the strong, funny and wise tattooed older sister I’ve always wanted, and now often look to jezebel.com to be. Also, remember The Truth About Cats and Dogs? Yeah, that’s a high school love right there.

*edit-she has a really great bit about Natalie Portman’s vagina. For real. Check itttttt.