10

So, are you ready, you think? To start dating? No, definitely not. My grief group said that I wouldn’t be ready until I can get through the whole story of Michael’s death without tearing up.

Dear lord. I remember being bitter when Jane and Rafael ended but never this pathetic. 

Rafael is not a Michael. Here is why Rafael will never be a Michael. Jane was with Michael for two years, she was engaged to be married. Do you know what she was doing at that time? Working as a waitress, studying to be a teacher. Do you know what she was absolutely not doing? WRITING! Rafael pushes her to follow her dreams. Rafael does not play safe. Rafael wants her to go big. 

Speaking of writing Michael hated romance. Romance was not his thing. He fell asleep while reading Jane’s writing because romance is not his thing. But you know who reads all of Jane’s writing? RAFAEL DOES! 

Rafael will never be a Michael because Rafael does not give into Jane’s ridiculous demands. Rafael calls her out on her shit. For example, gender bias! For years Jane and Rafael fans have been complaining about this and no one in the show ever pointed it out until Rafael. Michael’s best thing was he knew Jane best. When Jane was in a pickle, Michael would ask what would Jane do. Rafael doesn’t give a shit about what would Jane do. He makes her do things she does not want to do. And sometimes that really sucks and it is not a good thing. But that is Rafael. He pushes her outside of her comfort zone and for Jane that is so important. 

Rafael ALWAYS has a point of view that is different than Jane’s and he never compromises to save her feelings. Michael and Jane almost always agreed on things and 99% of the time they did it Jane’s way. With Rafael, Jane learns the art of compromising or she learns she was not entirely right after all. 

You don’t have to like Rafael. I understand if you prefer a Michael over a Rafael. The point is Rafael is not Michael just because they had a goofy dance. Rafael is all about be brave, and Michael is all about you make me feel safe in the best possible way