jamie says the most perfect things

New AU: Dallta Sheumais

  This is a new AU!!! This idea has been bumping around in my head since I finished Dragonfly in Amber.  The premise for this AU is: What if Brianna had actually been Brian.  What if Jamie was right that heartbreaking day at the stones and Claire had been carrying a boy.  How will this change events in the story and how will it affect Frank, Claire,  and Jamie.  The title is in Gaelic and means “Just as James would do” if you want any hint on how the story will progress.  

So this is what abrupt blood loss feels like I thought.  I had been through the torment before with my first child.  But then my mind had no time to wander, then I had to keep myself alive.  Now I was surrounded by a room full of people, their sole goal was to keep me alive, and the child.  I had failed the first time through the ordeal.  Then the child had been wanted,  born at a time of hope and I had  failed even then. Now I was carrying a child that severed me from the man I had loved. Now I was giving birth in a time I no longer wanted to be.  The only thing keeping me going was a promise I had may in a fair distant land.  How badly would I fail this time?

“I am going to die” I whimpered to myself.  The nurse heard me and came over. She wiped the sweat from my forehead saying, “No you are not Mrs. Randall.  We are going to take good care of you.  I’m going to need you to push. We need to get you taken care of and we can’t do that until Baby is out.”

I felt like I had been trampled by a herd of elephants and the news that there was still work to do made me want to weep.  The nurse was telling me I needed to stay with them, but for what? The baby.  I wouldn’t be any good to this child, how could I?

  There was a large clock on the wall, I thought it had to have been slow, the second hand seemed to take eons.  The nurses and doctor kept telling me that I was nearly there that it was almost over.   The pain was unbearable and I longed for it to be done,  but I was seized with terror of what I would do once it was done.

Then suddenly I felt a great fluid rush.  I was sobbing and spurting out, “Is it over? Am I done?”

The nurse smiled and wiped my brow, “Yes darling it is over, they are just cleaning the little one right now.”

In that moment I felt something I never had before.  Millions of emotions swirled through me, grief for the loss of the child’s father, relief that it was over, and simple joy that I was done and alive, and so was the child.

“You have a son.” Some unknown voice said to me.  They leaned down and handed me a bundle.  In it was the most astonishing thing I had ever seen.

“Oh my god!” Was all I could say. His eyes were screwed shut, but he had a tuft of bright red hair, it was still damp and was squashed oddly onto his forehead.  He had a perfect nose that I had last seen on the painting of Jamie as a young boy.  I wiped the hair off his forehead whispering, “Mama has you baby, and believe me I will do every thing in my power make sure it stays that way.”

Then he opened his eye and I started sobbing again.  They were blue, and not just the shade that most infants have.  They where the exact dark blue of his father.

“Ma’m, Do you have a name for him” one of the staff asked me.

“Yes,” I said between tears,“His name is Brian.”

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