jamez

so..i was bored..and read My Immortal
heres some of my fave lines cause lets be honest, that shit is amazing

  • Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). (a classic)
  • “Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?”
  • “What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!”
  • “Crookshanks!” I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I’m a sadist so I stopped. (im gonna start to use crookshanks as a spell)
  • He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual). (all bisezuals are in2 fashin n stuff)
  • Snake and Loopin were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and Dobby was watching!1 (jfc)
  • “Only you wouldn’t give them to me!” Lumpkin shouted angrily. (lumpkin)
  • They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Stanism. (they named a cult after a guy named Stan)
  • Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledork.He was wearing a blak leather jackson (is leather jackson related to michael jackson?)
  • Oh my satan!
  • Suddenly dumblydore flew in on his broomstuck and started shredding at us angrily. “NO TALKING IN THE HALLS!” he had short blonde hair and was wearing a polo shirt from Amrikan ogle outfters. (sexy dumblydore)
  • I laffed statistically.
  • “Oh, datz Profesor Slutborn.” Satan said. (show that line to someone who doesnt know my immortal)
  • “Were calld XBlakXTearX. I play teh gutter. Spartacus plays da drums” he said ponting to him. “Snap plays the boss. And Jamez plays the guitar to even fo we call him Samaro, after Samara in da ring. (spartacus)
  • ”We went sexily to Potionz class. But Snap wasn’t there. Instead there
    was…………………………………………Cornelio Fuck!11111 (oh no!111 its Cornelio Fuck!!11)

also the tons of ways the author misspelled names

  • enoby, eboby, egogy, ebory, ibony
  • voldemint, volxenort
  • dumblydor, dumbledork, dumbledum, dumblydum, dUMBlydore, dumblehor
  • loopin, lumpkin
  • profesor McGoggle, preacher McGongel, profesor McGoogle
  • snake, snoop, snap, snipe
  • St Mango’s, St Manga’s

Honestly Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends was so Iconic like

-The coolest kid in town, Jamez Withazee.

-The episode when Terrence made a friend named Red to be an evil Bloo but then Red and Bloo become friends and Red is arguably actually nicer than Bloo.

-“MAC and CHEESE?????” “BLOO CHEESE?????” “I MEAN CHEESE, LOUISE!!!”

-“No one’s allowed in the mall without money! It’s the law!”

-Imaginary Man, whose only weakness is flowers, and his archenemy Nemisister, whose weakness is messing up her flawless hair.

-The unicorn friends with the manly voices. Pretty sure one of them had a Brooklyn accent.

-“RIP-OFF ARTIST!” “Ow! My shin!”

-They always had the “duh duh duuuuuh” before commercial break and their was one episode where it was done by some random friend who was singing to his music.

-“Now we’re brother ladies!”

-“It’s hot in Topeka”

-Frankie: Hey guys, what’s all the yelling about?
Ed: MAC GOT HIT BY A TRUCK!
Bloo: NO! IT’S A HUNDRED TIMES WORSE! MY BOY, MAC, THE GUY WE ALL KNOW AND LOVE……
All: Yes?????
Bloo: IS….
All: YEAH????????
Bloo:…….Can I get more juice?
All: NO!!!!!!!
Bloo: Okay. Mac is…..a big……. giant…… NEEEEEEEEEERD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-“She’s so awesome……”
“And HOT!”
“She’s so nice……”
“And HOT!”
“She’s so cool……”
“And HOT!”

-The food friends, who were imagined by hungry kids at a weight loss camp, and hide from the rest of the friends so they don’t get eaten.

-When Bloo tried to teach Mac how to be cool by showing him boy bands, juice commercials and badly dubbed samurai films.

-Bloo always forgets Berry’s name but he’s usually at least close, but then he calls he Heather.

-“I! FOUND! A! CARROT!”

-Orlando Bloo.

-“Hello, Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, how may I be of assistance? Is my refrigerator running? Hmm, why yes, I think it is! I’d better go catch it indeed!”

-“Maybe the other friends are right. Maybe you are ruining this party!”
“MAYBE YOU RUIN CHOCOLATE!”

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anonymous asked:

Pads mate. You look actually alright. Think Reg saw you though, was mentioning something about not knowing whether to tell your mum? - Jamez

I don’t have any mum.

This is my father's story written from his perspective. It follows an experience he had with a Skinwalker on the Navajo reservation.

story by NavajoJoe00 / original

When I was about 11 or 12, we lived in a small house made of mud and stone. A lot like our house now. It was two of my brothers and I in the house. Everyone else had gone to the Jamez Feast and left us to tend the sheep. We were getting ready for bed when we heard the dogs going crazy outside. Thinking it was nothing more than coyotes howling in the distance, we told them to be quite. We began to drift off into sleep, and the dogs would not shut up. Somehow, I was able to go to sleep for a few hours. Then I woke up very late in the night. It was very quiet and still in the house, save for my brothers snoring and breathing. I realized I needed to use the outhouse and woke up my brother to take me there. He teased me about being scared, which I certainly was.

We went out with our flashlight to the outhouse. The dogs began with their crazed barking out in the sagebrush, going from one place to the next. My brother went first and I waited outside for him. While waiting, I tried to follow the dogs with my flashlight. Suddenly there was a very loud whine from one of the dogs. Then everything went quiet again. It was really too quiet for that time of year. Not even the sheep were making noise. Suddenly I heard a few of the dogs going completely mad by the truck. When I looked over, there was this man.

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