“Next time he wants us to buy his single I’m going to tell him that I can’t because I have something to go do.”
“Same. It doesn’t take that much effort or time to just stop and take a fucking picture.”
I continue to walk away as the girls behind me go on and on. I told them that I couldn’t stop to take a picture because I had to hurry along to the studio. We still had a few more songs to write for the album and I was already running late because I forgot to set my alarm last night. I was tired, stressed and hungry because I had forgotten to eat breakfast also. I was running so late that I didn’t even get to go to the gym. Today was going to be a bad day.
“Hey Jamez!” Tris yells as I walk into the studio. “You’re finally here!”
The others and Joe were already there. They had wanted to wait for me but Fin told them to go ahead and that he’d wait for me because we couldn’t keep the producers waiting any longer.
“Hey, guys.” I say and pull my laptop out of my bag. Brad was currently in the booth recording vocals and Con was sat by the producer, helping him get the sound levels right.
“Come on, J.” Tris says and grabs my hand. “Let’s go find somewhere quiet to write.”
I follow him out of the room and down the hallway. We go up two flights of stairs and through a door that leads out onto a rooftop garden. I close my eyes and take in the fresh air. It was spring where we were, so the weather was nice. It made me feel slightly better.
“It’s so beautiful out here,” I say as I take a seat at the table off the side of the garden.
“Like you,” Tris says before sliding in the seat beside me.
“Aww, you’re making me blush,” I chuckle and open my laptop. “But let’s get down to business. What’s a good topic to write about? We already have way too many songs about love and heartbreak. We need something new and exciting.”
I look over at Tris and see him on his laptop scrolling through a webpage. I shake my head and sigh. We could never get stuff done because he didn’t know how to focus.
“Tris,” I smile and poke him in the cheek.
He doesn’t answer but instead continues to read whatever is on his screen. His face begins to get more and more serious. What the bloody hell was he reading?
I take a peek at his screen again and skip a beat when I see that he’s on Twitter. A couple days ago I started to receive hate again because of my opinions on a topic. I hadn’t offended anyone but some fans and non-fans thought I was being rude and proceeded to say rude things about me.
I had successfully been able to keep Tris off of Twitter for a few days now but here he was…going through his timeline. You’d think that people would’ve moved on by now, but that’s never the case when it comes to me. I always got the most hate.
“Why didn’t you tell me that you were getting hate again?”
“It’s not that big a deal,” I nervously say and look everywhere except at him. “It’s nothing that hasn’t happened before.”
“James, look at me!” He yells.
I turn so that I’m facing him but I can’t bring myself to look in his eyes. I wanted to just forget about all of the rude stuff people said about me but he knew better than anyone that I couldn’t.
He was there when I got so depressed that I wouldn’t come out of my room for a week. He was there when I cried myself to sleep because I couldn’t understand how so many people that never met me, could hate me over a misunderstanding. He was there when some of our own fans where acting like i wasn’t good enough to be in the band and wanted to leave me out of their picture.
“Tris, no matter what you say, I’m still gonna be the least favorite of the band,” I squeak out and look down at my hands. “No one…no one likes me.”
“Bullshit.” He says and takes ahold of my hands. I hadn’t noticed they were shaking until then. “I like you. Brad and Con like you. The fans that matter like you.”
“It’s hard though, Tris,” I admit and finally look up at him. “Every little thing I do, people gang up on me. I know that it seems like I handle it well but Tris it’s draining me.”
“That’s why you should let me know so I can-”
“So you can what?!” I shout as a tear rolls down my cheek. “You can’t just tell them to stop and think that they’ll listen to you.”
“Yeah, I know James but I at least want to be there for you whenever shit like this happens!”
I get up from the table make my way back inside the studio. Right as I get back to where everyone is, Tris grand my arm and spins me around.
“James, you can’t keep running away.” He says calmly.
“Why not? I didn’t wanna talk about it anyway. It’s better if I just ignore it.”
“No it’s not!”
“BECAUSE I DON’T WANT YOU TO GET DEPRESSED AGAIN!” He screams.
The room goes quiet and all eyes are on us. I feel a river of tears began to fall. Tris pulls me into him and wraps his arms around me. He walks us into the bathroom and locks the door. I cry against his chest as he whispers that it’s okay.
“James, I know that the hate gets to you,” he whispers. “And I want to do is protect you from it bc you don’t deserve it.”
“It’s hard sometimes, T.” I say.
“That’s why I’m here for you. Whenever you need me.” He kisses my forehead. “Promise me that’ll you’ll tell me whenever someone sends you hate.”