every episode of house ever
  • *episode opens with patient going about their every day life*
  • patient: owww my everything
  • *patient goes to hospital*
  • house: okay guys got any ideas
  • literally everyone: ehh probably meningitis
  • house: well you're wrong give him a lumbar puncture
  • foreman: house despite you being the head of our team we obviously know more than you
  • house: *joke about foreman being black*
  • foreman:
  • house:
  • foreman:
  • house:
  • chase: hey cameron you wanna bang later
  • cameron: fuk u
  • chase: eyyy she wants me ;0
  • patient: oww my everything
  • cameron: the patient is getting worse house what do we do
  • house: pfff fuck if i know
  • cameron: damn house you suck you're a terrible doctor he obviously has meningitis
  • house: give him some drugz idk
  • cameron: wow guys did you hear house telling us to give the patient drugs? damn he's a great doctor wouldn't you just like to bang him?
  • chase: >:(
  • cuddy: house go work in the clinic
  • house: no
  • cuddy: do it or else
  • house: ugh fine
  • *insert some comic-relief scene of house in the clinic with a dumb patient*
  • *meanwhile the first patient gets worse*
  • patient: owww now my eyes are green
  • chase: house his eyes are green and he is literally on the brink of death what do we do
  • *INSERT 30 SECOND LONG MONTAGE OF HOUSE GOING OVER THE FACTS*
  • house: gREEN EYES?! THIS IS A SIGN OF TITTY DEFLATION!
  • *insert a 3D animation of how the disease works with voice over of how it works*
  • house: only a shot of the super-duper-illegal anti-titty deflation vaccine that has not yet been made legal can save him now
  • cuddy: NO
  • house: YES
  • cuddy: NO
  • house: YES
  • cuddy: NO
  • house: fuk u bitch i do what i want lmao cuddy? more like slutty ayyyy
  • *house gives patient cure*
  • patient: wow, doctor! by some miracle you've cured me! And even the chronic pain in my back was fixed!
  • house: yet another symptom of your titty deflation
  • wilson: how did he have titty deflation? he doesn't have titties
  • house: shut up, wilson, you were probably irrelevant this episode
  • *"You Can't Always Get What You Want" plays*
3

House m.d. (2008) // Sherlock (2017)

House: I’m sorry. I know I didn’t try to kill her. I know I didn’t want her hurt. I know it was a freak accident. But I feel like crap, and she’s dead because of me.
Wilson: I don’t blame you. I wanted to. I tried to. I must have reviewed Amber’s case file 100 times to find a way. But it wasn’t your fault.
House: Then we’re okay? I mean, I know you’re not, but… Maybe I can help.
Wilson: We’re not okay. Amber was never the reason I was leaving. I didn’t want to tell you because… because I was trying, like I always do, to protect you. Which is the problem. You spread misery because you can’t feel anything else. You manipulate people because you can’t handle any kind of real relationship. And I’ve enabled it. For years. The games, the binges, the middle-of-the-night phone calls. I should have been the one on the bus, not —You should have been alone on the bus. If I’ve learned anything from Amber, it’s that I have to take care of myself. We’re not friends anymore, House.

                                                                  House m.d. -  Dying Changes Everything, 5x01

Everytime I see someone say “I’ve been watching you guys since (something from long time ago), thanks for (memories and old stuff)” to anyone from CowChop, I feel like I don’t deserve to be a fan because I just found James and Aleks this year and I wasn’t there with all the old memories, sad or happy.

That not being there when James “retired” for awhile or seeing “Immortal” become Aleks with the face reveal makes me think that I’m not really part of this family, community or whatever.

I know CowChop still has a future, a time in the far future I can say “I was a fan since “educational STD penis vid” or “The CowChop House” and make people remember the good old times but right now I feel like I wasn’t there for a large part of these guys careers and I should just give up on being a fan because I can’t connect to James, Aleks and the guys like all of the really old fans.