james swallow


“ADAM JENSEN: What they call themselves isn’t important. It never was. The only thing that matters is that we have to stop them. Fight them right to the bloody, bitter end. If not, then one day we wake up and we’re living in their future instead of ours.
FRANK PRITCHARD: You make it sound like the end of the world.
ADAM JENSEN: Not yet, but you can see it from here.”

-James Swallow (Deus Ex: Black Light)

Every Other Weekend pt. 5

Prompt: After five years of marriage and two kids, you and Bucky decide you can’t make it work anymore.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 1,592

Warnings: divorce, angst, cheating, language

A/N: the much anticipated next part is here! it gave ME butterflies and goosebumps. so… yeah! reminder that tags are closed but please enjoy it!

Tagged: @defendors @thorne93 @winterboobaer @marvelfandom-stuff @all-around-geek@cchrriissuuu@katexbishopx @justreadingfics @frolicsomefawkes@dasani-saraai @awwtommo@aenna-4@courtneychicken @lorenaheartsyou@goldwanderer @irepeldirt @sebastianstantrash @tardisin221bst @ok-ladies-lets-get-in-formation @redroomproperty@elegantnightmareshiro@stomachfilledwithbutterflies @demongodess @buckyb-avengers@redlipstickandplaid @panda-reads-stuff @basse53 @chipilerendi @thewinterdorito @jenn48041

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4


Originally posted by sebjpeg

“For fuck’s sake, stop lying to me! Can you just be honest?” You screamed, a vein popping in your neck. At least the kids weren’t home to hear it.

“I’m not lying!” Bucky shouted back, flinging open the bathroom door.

“You are! I knew it! You cheated on me. You’re seeing someone.” You let out a loud sigh and sat on the bed.

“I’m not seeing anyone. Relax. This just isn’t working. I’ve told you that.” Bucky rolled his eyes, putting on a jacket.

You handed him the stack of divorce papers that you had finally signed. “There. Happy?”

“Happy.” He nodded at you as he turned to leave the bedroom.

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To Die For || Sirius Black x Reader [[request]]

[[request prompt: Hi! Could you pretty please do a young Sirius black imagine where the reader has been friends with the marauders since first year and he thinks he likes some new girl (as he does a new one every week) and everything but then he wins a long time bet with the reader and makes her snog severus. Only when he actually sees her flirting with him does he realize he actually loves her. Thank youuuu.]]

yayyyy, my first ever imagine for young!sirius black (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ I’m a little nervous about how this is going to turn out, but I’m determined to make this work!!

lmao and I just finished writing a peter parker requested imagine too hhhh I must be a sucker for pain (/ω\)

tags: @betty234

{{request status: got any remus/sirius imagines for me? Send them in right here!!}}

warnings: none, except for a slightly possessive sirius black.

word count: 2,000+

**don’t plagiarize/repost this story! Reblogs are fine!!


“For Merlin’s sake, you say that for just about any girl who is unlucky enough to capture your fancy!”

You (much to the self proclaimed Marauder’s delight) were having yet another argument with the playboy and heartthrob himself who went by the name of Sirius Black. While they were in the midst of eating, all three boys kept on looking over at you and Sirius.

Whereas your face was filled with an uncontained annoyance and fury, Sirius’ expression retained its natural and aloof expression, only letting out a tiny smile whenever your voice was raised an octave or two.

“But I’m being serious now [Name], Melinda is truly the one for me. Not only that, but her legs are to die for.” You roll your eyes at his daring (and sexual) words, not believing them one bit. “Again, you have practically said that with all of the girls that have attended Hogwarts thus far.”

You had been friends with the group of boys who made up the Marauder’s since first year, sharing all of your classes together with them when you ended up being sorted into Gryffindor as well. Seeing each of them as like a brother to you, you often liked to scold them for their mischievous behavior (not so much with Remus, since he seemed to be the only one with a lick of sense in the group).

You weren’t sure how you managed to stay close to these boys throughout the years, your friendship with each and every one of them lasting until well into your fifth year at Hogwarts. Despite how much they were a pain in your arse, you couldn’t deny that each and every one of them had a special place in your heart (even, you admit with a begrudging respect, Sirius Black himself).

“Come on, [Name], let Sirius have some fun. And why not believe him for once?” James was laughing while taking bites of his Yorkshire pudding, “I meang, ifs he shays dat he lurves her, dan her lurves her!”

You grimace and throw your napkin at James, “Swallow your food before you talk, Potter. Your table manners are atrocious.”

Your words causes a chuckle to go through Peter, “Wow, I didn’t think we would have a second mum when we got accepted into Hogwarts!”

Sirius lets out his own bellowing laugh, completely agreeing with the mouse-like boy, “Indeed! This is why [Name] can never catch a bloke for herself!”

Sirius’ offhanded comment makes you turn red with anger, making Remus slowly speak up when he responds, “Guys, knock it off. You all know that [Name] is just looking out for us.”

Despite Remus’ kind words, you were beyond pissed when you stood and pointed an accusing finger at Sirius, “Yeah? Well at least I know that when a man does fall for me, then I’d be able to keep him for more than a week!”

Sirius follows your lead and stands with you, “Is that a challenge I hear, love?”

“Don’t call me love and lump me in with the rest of the girls you’ve snogged.” You snarled at Sirius, feeling the anger coursing through your veins as the emotion changed your skin into a flushed color. “Take it however you want to take it, as long as you know that I’m right in the end.”

A smirk paints his handsome features when he places a hand beneath his chin, appearing deep in thought when he tells you, “Alright then, love, challenge accepted.”

Several whistles were heard coming from James and Peter while Remus just gave both you and Sirius a look of concern, “Sirius, I don’t think this is such a good idea.”

You hold out a hand to Remus, “It’s okay Rem, I can handle whatever this arse throws at me.”

You watch as the smirk widens on Sirius’ face before he proudly declares, “If I can’t keep Melinda by my side for a full month, then you win and I have to do your every bidding for two months.”

You lift your eyebrows in question, already liking the prospect of this bet, “And if I end up losing by some slim chance?

Sirius flashes you one of his famous shit eating grin before answering you, “You have to go up to Severus Snape and snog him.”

You freeze at the thought of kissing the infamous Slytherin, feeling your back stiffen when you turn around and look at the table where Severus sat with Lily Evans.

Lily was talking animatedly about something as Severus merely nods at her, still picking at his mashed potatoes as James groaned at the sight of him, “I feel sorry for you, [Name]. Snape is so greasy, and- ugh! That fool has no right to be in the presence of Lily like that!”

“Shut up Potter, no one wants to hear about your pathetic crush on her.” You grit your teeth and look at Sirius, feeling your annoyance strengthen at the look of pure amusement in his grey eyes.

“Fine, it’s a deal. I accept this bet, but only because I know I’ll win!” You take Sirius’ hand and give it a shake, “After all, you’re not one to be the monogamous type, Black.”

His smirk simply widens at your proclamation, “We’ll see about that, love.”


You felt sick to your stomach at what was to come.

For the following weeks that made up the bet, you saw Melinda Evers falling deeper and deeper in love with Sirius. Throughout the Gryffindor halls, you would catch Sirius and the girl together, exchanging quick kisses while holding hands, seeming to be in a whole different world of their own when they were together.

How lovey-dovey they appeared was absolutely sickening to you-

And it was achingly clear that you lost the bet.

There relationship had lasted the entire month, which was what brought you to the Dining Hall as you searched for Severus Snape. While you were walking around the area, you could feel all of the Marauder’s eyes on your back, knowing that they were whispering triumphantly amongst one another.

“I can’t believe [Name] is going to do this!”

“I feel bad for her, but at the same time, this is pretty hilarious.”

You only heard James and Peter’s voice, wincing as their laughter seemed to get louder when you spotted Severus with Lily on the far end of the dining area.

Wiping the sweat from the palm of your hands, you clear your throat and shakily call out, “U-Uhm, Severus?”

Your voice catches the attention of Lily and Severus Snape, and upon seeing you reaching their table, Lily’s green eyes begin to flash with uncertainty, “[Name], what brings you here?”

You nervously twirl at the ends of your hair, “N-No reason at a-all. I-I was just w-wondering if I c-could have a minute alone with S-Severus?”

Lily’s reaction was automatic when she hangs on to his arm, “I don’t think you should-“

“It’s fine, Lily. I’ll be okay. Let her say whatever she needs to say and be done with it.” Severus interrupts her, making the redhead gaze at him with a look of concern, “W-well, if you’re okay with it…”

“I am.”

Taking his answer as all the confirmation she needed, Lily gives you a nod before gathering her books. Only when she leaves was when you were brave enough to sit down on the seat next to him. “Uhm, hello, s-so-“

“Did Potter put you up for this?” You felt your stomach twist with guilt as you shamefully looked away from him. “I…I-I’m sorry. It was just something…something they wanted me to do because I lost this stupid game…”

“And pray tell what they wanted now?” Severus faces you with his nostrils flared in absolute anger, “Did they know that I would never hit a girl? Is that why they sent you to me, just so that you could freely torture me and get away with it?!”

You shake your head and place a gentle hand on his cheek, earning a wince from him. Seeing his features clearly now, you realize that Severus could have the potential to be incredibly handsome if he knew how to properly take care of himself.

His hair was oily as it fell beneath his chin, further hindering his sharp appearance as his pale skin were dotted with various amounts of acne and acne scars. Your hands linger a bit on his damp cheek before sliding down to his lips, “Forgive me, Severus. Just let me do this one thing, as an apology and a wish for you to finally have some form of happiness in your life.”

Without another word, you close your eyes and lean in closer to him.


The Marauders had been keeping an eye on [Name] during her whole interaction with Snape, with Peter and James being the most vocal about it.

Remus could sense that something was amiss with Sirius when [Name] began touching Severus’s face. Being the only one who knew the truth behind Sirius’ bet with [Name], Remus gives his friend a nervous nudge, “Sirius, you have to stop [Name]. If you don’t want to lose her, you’ve got to act now and tell her the truth.”

Even though Remus had warned him, Sirius was much too prideful to stop himself from making that stupid bet with [Name]. All the girls he had dated and snogged had all been a ruse; all he wanted was to get that damn girl to finally look at him and see him as someone that was worthy of her love.

He just wanted to make her jealous; he didn’t think she would despise his lame attempts at making her jealous and take the words of his bet to heart.

So when Sirius saw the young girl he’s been pining for since first year lean even closer to Severus, he ignores his group of friends and begins striding toward her.

He’d be damned if he let Snape take away the girl who held his heart.


“You- what do you think you’re doing?!”

Your lips had just barely touched Severus when you were suddenly ripped away from him. With your head spinning, you were aware of how your back was suddenly pressed against a broad chest, making you look up in response. Finally seeing the person who held you, you gasp, realizing that Sirius was glaring down at Severus, “Sorry, looks like you’re out of luck. Find some other girl to snog, this princess is mine.”

“H-HEY! SINCE WHEN WAS I YOUR PRINCESS?! AND PUT ME DOWN!” Both boys ignore your outburst, and you heard Severus scoff before picking up his own books, “Fine. Take that wretched wench out of my sights and back to the hellhole that she came from.”

“OI, APOLOGIZE TO [NAME] THIS INSTANT!” You stop Sirius from lunging at Severus, keeping a hand on his chest when you shoved him away from the table, “Leave him alone! This is all your fault to begin with!”

You purposely block Sirius each time he wanted to grab Severus, giving him no choice but to admit defeat when he slumps over in defeat. Only when the young Slytherin disappears from your sight do you finally step away from Sirius. “Why do you have to be such an arse?”

“And why do you have to be so goddamn oblivious?” Sirius pulls you to his chest, making you look deeply into his eyes for a brief second before he pulls you with him. “Come with me.”

“Y-You jerk! Let go of me! Where’s Melinda??? I swear if you don’t- ah!” When Sirius breaks out into a run, you stopped your complaints as you tried to keep up with him without falling over.

Sirius Black, what the ever loving FUCK?!


When he reaches the Gryffindor’s commons area, the young man had stopped so suddenly that [Name] ended up landing on his back. He feels her added weight and smiles down at her, “Feeling comfortable?”

She glares at him (making him fall for her fiery personality even more) before pushing her body off of his back, “Don’t get so cocky, it was because you stopped so suddenly! Now tell me, what happened between you and Melinda?”

He shrugs before admitting, “She’s just a friend. I made her act like we were lovers for the duration of the month. In return for her doing this for me, I would set her up with Lucius Malfoy.”

Sirius swore that he would never get tired of the angry blush that always painted [Name’s] skin whenever she was particularly frustrated with him. “Are you kidding me?! Then that means-“

Unable to control himself, Sirius pulls the girl even closer to him, capturing her unsuspecting lips in a sweet kiss. He hears her involuntarily moan against him, the sound making him smile when he pulls away from her, “I was afraid that you were never going to catch on, so I had to do something in order to get you to see me as someone that wasn’t just a brother to you.”

[Name’s] eyes seemed to have a hazy (yet dreamlike) quality to them, making Sirius want to kiss her even more when he softly admits, “I adore how you aren’t afraid to speak your mind, that’s why I want you to belong to no one else but me. So what do you say?”

She closes her eyes as a wide smile paints her features. Stepping closer to him, [Name] wraps her arms around his back before placing a kiss against his chest, “You do know that this goes both ways, right? I’ll be yours, only under the condition that I be the only woman in your life from this point on.”

Sirius chuckles and frames her face with his hands, leaning in to kiss her forehead before reassuring her, “But of course. And I wouldn’t want it any other way, for your love is to die for.”


Originally posted by nellaey

anonymous asked:

Oh my GOD. 1 with Jeddy for the unrequited love ask. I'm sorry.

oh GOD

Every time James saw Teddy it got harder to hold in.

Every look, every smile Teddy sent his way,  even if it was all the way from the Hufflepuff table, the confession, the feelings, got harder to hold back. It got all the way to the point where James was literally swallowing the words and biting his tongue in an effort to respond with a ‘hello’ and not ‘I love you’ when Teddy bumped shoulders with him in the hallway. James can’t even think how he’s been getting through their Tuesday library “study” sessions. They never actually get any work done, and just end up sneaking sweets from the kitchens and, on this night as it was particularly warm, heading down to the lake and collapsing under the old tree there. And the words are on the tip of his tongue with every laugh that causes Teddy to squeeze his eyes shut and throw his head back.

They’re right there when they’re laying, shoulder brushing shoulder, in the grass, staring up at the infinite sky.

“This is probably one of my favorite things to do in the world.” Teddy sighed, lacing his fingers over his chest, “Just, how can someone look up at that, all those stars and not be… fucking amazed?”

James snorted, “Well I think you have enough enthusiasm about it to make up for a few people not caring.”

Teddy laughed, elbowing James softly in the side and shaking his head, “Sod off. It’s brilliant.” They lapsed into silence for a moment and James watched Teddy watch they sky. Teddy turned his head, fixing his eyes on James, “You love it don’t you, James?”

James swallowed, eyebrows raising and cheeks flushing slightly at how close Teddy was. He blinked a few times, “I..” And the words- the words are right theretherethere, “I love- you.”

Teddy sucked in his breath a little. He stared at James, James stared at Teddy. The summer night air suddenly felt too hot around James. And when Teddy let out the first laugh, it was practically suffocating him.

Teddy cooed at him, “Aw, Jamie, I love you too!” Teddy let out another laugh, eyes squeezing shut. James just laid there, looking at him, feeling like he wanted to sink right into the grass.

“Merlin. I wasn’t expecting you to say that.” He let out a few last laughs between words, looking back to James, “And the look on your face, talk about-“

James watched Teddy’s smile falter as, he was fairly sure, the look Teddy had seen was still written across his face. Only it was no doubt mixed with mortification.

“Real…” Teddy finished softly, smile dropping and being replaced by guilt and realization. He opened his mouth to say something a few times but never did.

James tore his eyes away, “I-“ He could barely get the words out of his throat, “sorry.”

Teddy sat up on his elbows, “I- Fuck. No, James-“

“No, I think that’s all there is too it.” James sat up too, facing away from Teddy and pretending to gather his cloak that he’d bunched on the grass as a pillow. His cheeks burned, his eyes burned, he wished he could burn.

He felt Teddy’s fingers against his shoulder and he stood up, “Please.” James said shortly, “I-“ James stooped, snatching up his cloak, “Let’s just-“


“Don’t, T. Teddy…“ He corrected himself.

Teddy stood too, pulse wild underneath his skin. He couldn’t stand the hunched way James was standing, the way his back was towards him. The way his hand was shaking at his side. He took a step forward when James let out a breath, but hesitated in touching him again.

“Please look at me,” he tried carefully, “James, I didn’t- I didn’t think-“

“Yeah, I know.” James’ hand raised to his face and Teddy knew he was rubbing at his eyes, his temples. He sighed, letting his hand drop. He still didn’t turn around, “I know and this really- really can’t get any worse for me right now so please, just-“

He made a motion, palm pushing out towards the ground.

Just don’t it said.

He left Teddy standing there under the tree, guilt eating him up inside and desperately wanting to call out his name.


Because I seem to like to torture myself with the angst that is Remus Lupin and Sirius Black … More of Remus never thinking their relationship is meant to be and letting it ruin them.

Part one of two.

Warning: Mention of Abuse and Violence


  • He can feel how tight his knuckles are and how the skin stretches
  • Strained by the tensing of his muscles and the way his fists curl
  • He’s trying not to keep his eyes so tight
  • Reminding himself over and over and over again that this is what he wanted
  • This is what he asked for
  • And although he hadn’t pictured it
  • Hadn’t let his mind wander that far
  • He couldn’t get it out of his head anymore
  • And he was trying so hard not to break glass
  • Not to rip pages from books and tear apart the room and ram his fist off the stone wall until his knuckles bled
  • Until he hurt outside more than he hurt inside
  • But then the dorm room door slams open and he doesn’t want to punch walls
  • Doesn’t want to blindly ram his fists off things until his arms are heavy and his heart is weak and his head is weary
  • He just wants to scream
  • ‘You asked for this you know’

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thundercloudia  asked:

Jeffmads + socks

“Jemmy, where are my socks?” 

James looked up from his crossword, inconspicuously tucking his feet under him. “Hm? W-What socks are you looking for, Thomas?”

“The fluffy ones, the ones I wear around the house.”

James swallowed. “I… don’t know which ones you mean, I’m sorry.” 

Thomas popped his head around the corner, hair wild and brow furrowed. “The fuck do you mean you don’t know?! You bought them for my birthday, ass!”

James averted eye contact. “Oh, did I? I’m… forgetful.” 

Thomas stalked over, eyes narrowing into slits. “No you’re not… you’ve got a better memory than Hamilton. What are you hiding?”

“Hiding?” James coughed, swatting Thomas away, “I’m not hiding anything, leave me alone!”

“Awful standoffish, huh?” the taller man continued suspiciously, circling James’ chair like a vulture. “I see right through you.”

“Wouldn’t you like to,” James replied with a little huff, “I’m not in the mood right now.”

“Nice deflection. You know I didn’t mean sex.”

Thomas was right; when he was in the mood, he started by getting all touchy-feeley with him, gauging James’ level of physical response before continuing. 

“I’m busy,” James muttered, further shoving his feet under him. Thomas leaned over his shoulder, plopping his chin down on his boyfriend’s shoulder to watch his activity. 

“Jackson,” he said, and James crumpled the crossword. 

“Dammit Thomas, I know it was Jackson! Everybody knows who the 7th president was.”

“Uhhh, pretty sure it’s not a universally known thing-”

“Just let me puzzle in peace!”

“What have you done with my socks?” Thomas suddenly growled, hopping onto James’ lap. James shuddered nervously at Thomas’ attack dog stare. 

“I told you, I-” 

Thomas grinned evilly, feeling for his boyfriend’s feet. “May I?” he asked, and James sighed, admitting defeat. 


With that, Thomas yanked James’ feet out, and found his precious purple fluffy socks. “I KNEW IT, YOU BASTARD!”

“My feet were cold, Thomas!” James protested, crossing his arms, “They were really, really cold and the only clean socks I could find were yours!”

“Hm,” Thomas murmured, staring up at him from the floor. “You… do know I haven’t washed these in a month, right?”

James face twisted in disgust, and he dropped his crossword, rubbing his face.

“Why the hell am I with you?”

“For my socks apparently,” Thomas snarked, and sauntered off, muttering under his breath. After a few baited seconds, James waited… and waited…

“Okay, fuck, I forgive you!” Thomas came bounding back out, and pressed his lips to James’. “But I think it’s high time we got you some fluffies of your own then, since you seem to need them way more than I do.”

“That would be nice, Thomas. That would be nice.”


send me ham ships + a word

Why Clowns?

“Oh my God.” James Rhodes stares at the campus green, doing his best not to throw up. What the hell? What the literal, actual hell? What the… he can’t even think of more things to think as he stares at the campus.

Thirty differently dressed clowns mill around, juggling and painting the faces of college students who are smiling and laughing for some ungodly reason. How is this real? Why would clowns be here? Who would want clowns here, and, furthermore, who the hell would want a clown close enough to paint their face?

James blinks, takes a deep breath, and forces it out, trying to stop himself from throwing up. He can’t throw up here, not at college. This is the place where none of the embarrassment from high school can follow him, and he’ll be damned if he ruins this clean slate for himself.

And no, he isn’t being overdramatic. His sister says he is, and his high school friends agree, but James isn’t. It isn’t overdramatic to dislike people who willingly paint themselves to look like disgusting nightmares, and it certainly isn’t overboard to be afraid of them.

James takes another breath, and then another, and clenches his hands into fists when a new voice calls, “Are you okay?”

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anonymous asked:

Have you ever written, or consider writing any Karolsen first time? If not could it possibly be a prompt for the future? bc right now with m**-** having sex with Kara, girls who sleep with guys need more than anything, an actual respectful guy as an example. They need to know that if he doesn't respect them, he will never be good enough. They need to know that guilt-tripping them is not a reason to give him a part of themselves. They need to know that, like Kara, they deserve James & not m**-**

It’s been a couple of months since Kara and James went on a first date that had Kara terrified, that had Kara anxious, that had Kara nearly running – or flying – away from feeling, from risking everything, faster than Alex could talk her down.

It’s been a couple of months since Kara’s accepted that maybe, just maybe, she can truly be both – be Kara and Supergirl – with someone who’s not her sister or her platonic best friend.

It’s been a couple of months, and Alex approves.

Alex loves James a lot more than she’s willing to admit.

Loves him because he has never looked at her sister as anything less than capable; he has never looked at Kara with anything less than respect; he understood, without hesitation and without question, that Alex would rather die than fail to save Kara from the Black Mercy, and she knows, she knows, that he understood because he would have made the same decision.

And Kara’s been happy, been more bubbly – she didn’t know that was possible – since she calmed down from her initial cold feet, since she took Cat’s advice to dive into being a reporter, into being Kara Danvers, through her whole life, her entire life.

But the fact remained that her little sister isn’t only Kara Danvers, and that? That’s been keeping her from… certain things… with James.

Alex knows. And she’s offered absolutely no help for the situation, because she likes James, loves him, but she still needs to be absolutely sure that he won’t hurt her sister romantically. Sexually.

She gets sure the night she’s at the bar grabbing root beers for her and Maggie, and James is getting club soda and beer for him and Kara, and the new guy from Daxam is slinking over the bar, bartender’s towel draped over his shoulder, leaning conspiratorially into James.

“Come on, you can tell me: is it just so amazing, or what? Like, getting to bang  Supergirl? I mean, that must be – ”

“Dude, listen, I know you’re new here, but that’s not… that’s not how I talk about women, and anyway, we haven’t… we’re not…”

“Oh, oh, no no no, I get it. Is it Earth custom to not want to talk about your women, is that – ”

“No, man, it’s… it’s not an… Earth or Daxam thing, it’s just a… it’s a healthy, respectful relationship thing.”

Alex bites her lip and sighs down at the bar with a soft smile on her face, and it’s that night that she takes her little sister aside.

“Kara, listen, um… I know you and James haven’t… haven’t gone all the way yet – ”

Kara straightens and adjusts her glasses. “Okay, wow, we’re talking about this, okay – ”

“Is it… it’s because you don’t want to hurt him, right?”

“Hurt him? Alex, I could kill him, you know what happened in college when I made out with – ”

“Yes, I know, I’m practically still scrubbing the blood from his nose off my hands. But I’m saying… Kara, if you wanted to be more… intimate with him…. and obviously you don’t have to, you know that – ”

“I know, Alex, Maggie gave me the talk last week, and the week before that, and I’m pretty sure she gave James a talk, too – ”

Alex grins at the idea of her girlfriend taking an active role in sistering her little sister. “Yeah yeah, I know, but Kara, what’s I’m saying is… if the only reason you’re not having sex is because he’s human, I can help with that. Red sun lamps. I can install them at your place. Or his. If you wanted.”

Kara’s eyes go wide and Alex watches her mind whirl and her body temperature rise, and she brings a ladder and the red sun lamps over first thing in the morning.

“Kara, we don’t… we don’t have to do this tonight, you know. Just because Alex installed the lamps – which actually are pretty good mood lighting, too – you know that doesn’t mean we have to do anything.”

It’s been a long day and James has his arm around her as they kiss, her hands running up his shirt and his entire body stiffening with restraint.

Kara pulls back from their kiss and presses her forehead to his, grinning and taking off her glasses.

“James, you’re not… you’re not going to hurt me.”

James pffts and pulls back and shakes his head. “Kara, you’re Supergirl, I – ”

“I know I am, and I know you respect that, but I also know that with the red sun lamps, all you can think about is how you’re scared to hurt me because you don’t know the limits of my body without my powers.”

“That’s…” James wilts and sighs and grins slightly. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m thinking about.”

“Okay, and I get that. And I like that you’re worried about that. I like that you’re worried about me. But James…” She licks her lips and she gulps and she puts her hand on the back of his neck and pulls him closer to her slightly. “You can learn my limits. I trust you.” She brings his hand softly from her cheek to her waist. “I trust you. I… I want you.”

“Tell me. Tell me whenever you don’t like something, whenever you need to stop. And we will. I promise. Okay?”

Kara melts and nods and breathes deeply, slowly, in time with James.


He gulps and glances around her apartment. “You um… you deserve better than your couch.” She arches an eyebrow and his eyes flash. “For now,” he smiles, and Kara giggles. “Your bed?” he asks, standing and offering her a hand.

“Thank you, kind sir.”

James chuckles and Kara presses her body into his chest, his arms, relishing the way his entire body vibrates with his laughter.

“Kiss me?” she asks, and he complies.

It’s slow and it’s soft and it’s nothing if not tender, but Kara parts her lips and James’s tongue grazes hers slightly and she gasps quietly because god, god, god, she doesn’t have to worry about breaking his nose and she doesn’t have to constantly be running physics equations in her head to make sure she doesn’t break his skin with her nails and nothing has ever felt as amazing as his perfect lips on hers, so she gasps again, again, pulling him closer, and James’s hands tighten around her waist, her back, and Kara grins into his mouth.

“Something you want?” she flirts, her voice thick with her own shock, her own excitement, that something can feel this incredible, that she can let go this much. His eyes are sparkling with a raw passion she’s never seen, and she knows he must feel it, too.

“Kara Danvers, all I’ve ever wanted is to make you happy.”

She bites at her lip and tugs his hand as she walks backward toward the bed, relishing the way she doesn’t have to worry about dislocating his shoulder as she does so.

“So make me happy,” she whispers, and god, he does.

She leans back on the bed and he hesitates before kneeling on the mattress in front of her. She nods and she tugs at the hem of his shirt questioningly, and she can’t help the moan that escapes her lips when he tugs it off in one easy gesture, because she’s seen him shirtless before, but now? Now she can touch him the way she wants to, without restraint, without fear, and god, she wants to.

“Undress me,” she says, and it’s soft and it’s partially a question and it’s partially a command and James swallows several times and she wonders if he was this reverent with Lucy and thinks she might ask her next time they have lunch but then his hands are on her lips and he’s pulling gently at the hem of her shirt, and his eyes are locked into hers.

“Stop me whenever you want to, Kara,” he tells her again, and she nods impatiently and he grins and he starts lifting up her shirt. She sighs in relief but then whines when he doesn’t just tug it off like he did his own.

He chuckles again, but this time, it’s with his lips against her stomach, and she gasps and she forces her body still before remembering that sweet Rao, she doesn’t have to under these lamps, so she lets her back arch, lets her stomach rise to meet his perfect lips, and when a strangled moan escapes them, she can’t help but breathing out his name.

For each centimeter of skin he reveals with his almost agonizingly slow stripping of her clothes, he has soft kisses and softer nips and she breathes into his every motion, his every instant worshiping her body, worshiping her.

When her shirt is finally above her head and his gaze settles to her blushing chest, he pauses and his eyes are more intense than she’s ever seen him, and she’s seen him in his Guardian armor.

“Still good?” he asks, and she giggles slightly.

“Please proceed,” she tells him, but her laughter is cut off abruptly and transformed into an ecstatic gasp when he lowers his lips to her breasts, over her bra at first, but, at her whimpering and back-arching and whispered urgings, he tugs the straps – slowly, slowly – off her shoulders and reaches behind her – she’s never arched her back up quicker – to unhinge her bra, unhinging her in the process.

“James,” she sighs, and he just shakes his head as he looks down at her.

“You are so beautiful, Kara,” he whispers, and she expects him to go straight into an exploration of her breasts, but instead his lips come down to meet her own, and she can’t tell how long they kiss, skin to skin, chest to chest, but she knows it’s the best thing she’s ever felt, and she knows she wants more.

She reaches down to his belt buckle and he hisses and freezes, and she pulls her hand back immediately.

“Do you want – ”

“I don’t want to pressure you, Kara – ”

“I’m pretty sure you didn’t move my hand there, James,” she smiles softly, and he chuckles, his face utterly wrecked for her, and she loves it, loves it, loves him.

“If you want to, Kara, then yeah. Yeah, please.”

She undoes his belt slow and she undoes his belt without breaking eye contact with him, and he bites his lip and she loves it, loves watching him restrain himself, because god is it going to feel amazing when she tells him – again – that he doesn’t have to.

“Can I?” she asks, his jeans unzipped and her fingers in his belt loops. He arches his hips off the bed and helps her tug his jeans down, and she bites her lip at the sight of how badly he wants her.

“I want you, too,” she tells him, because suddenly he seems somewhat bashful, and she brings his trembling hands to her own jeans, and god does it feel good to be in nothing but underwear with him, but it’s going to feel even better to be wearing nothing with him.

“Kara, you’re sure?”

His eyes are a map of raw desire and a map of raw concern, and she brings her lips up to meet his.


And she was right – being naked with him does feel more incredible than anything she’s ever done, because god she doesn’t have to worry about saving the world or restraining herself to avoid ruining her world; she just has to worry about her, about him, and them.

And that? That’s not a worry at all.

Because it’s both adorable and incredibly sexy when he asks if he can go down on her, and if she didn’t understand the appeal of someone’s tongue between her legs before, she does now, because he is alternating between circles around her clit and straight-up pressure to her clit, moaning at how wet she is, his eyes never leaving her face, his hands reaching up to tease her nipples, to make sure her entire body feels incredible, and it does, god, it does, and when she whimpers that she needs more, he is so gentle when he slips his tongue inside her, even gentler when he slips one finger, then – at her begging – two, three, and he brings his tongue back to his clit and she doesn’t have to worry about breaking his fingers or his jaw or his nose when she cums hard and fast and thorough, pulsing around his fingers, coating his tongue with how good he’s making her feel, and he smiles into her body and she tugs him up to kiss her, because she’s not done, not done, not done.

She giggles when he fumbles with the condom wrapper and she giggles harder when he asks if she’s on birth control, not that he could get her pregnant, could he, and is there even Kryptonian birth control, but he just wants to be sure, and he’s rambling, isn’t he, and she frames her face in her hands and she doesn’t worry about straining the muscles in his neck as she pulls him back down for a kiss.

“James. You’re not going to hurt me, and you’re not going to get me pregnant, and Alex tells me that she had you STI tested and you’re good to go, and so am I, so if it’s all the same to you, I’d really like to – ”

“Wait, she was testing for STIs? She said it was because I got scratched by that alien last week – ”

“James, can we maybe not discuss my sister right now?”


He kisses her soft and she kisses him harder, and she flips him over and he hisses and she pauses and he grins – “No, no, that was a good sound, Kara” – and she holds his wrists down until she needs to feel his hands on her body, needs to feel his hands all over her, because I want you, please, James, please, and she doesn’t have to worry about restraining herself when he slips inside her again, slow and controlled and gentle and constantly making sure it doesn’t hurt, that it feels amazing, and sweet Rao it does, and she controls the rhythm, the depth, the pace, and his head tosses back into the pillow and he moans her name and she feels amazing  and she collapses over his body to kiss his neck while she brings him deeper inside her, as deep as she’s been wanting to take him, and he asks and she nods desperately so he brings his hand between their bodies and he pressures her clit with his thumb and she spills over the edge again at the exact moment he does, because god nothing’s ever felt like this before, and god, she loves him, loves him, and she’s pretty damn sure that, if the look in his eyes is any indication, he loves her, too.

She kisses him as he pulls out of her after a few long, long minutes of just breathing, breathing, trying to breathe, and he kisses her lips, her eyes, her nose, her forehead, before getting up to toss the condom. He returns with two glasses – one of orange juice and one of water – offering both to her.

“Wasn’t sure which you’d want.”

She goes for the orange juice and he smiles as he gulps some water and sets it on the bedside table, laying back down next to her, holding her, kissing her.

“Was that okay?” she asks softly, because he’s smiling and he’s sweet, but he’s always sweet, what if he’s just being polite, what if –

“That, Kara Danvers, was amazing. For you?”

She beams and does a tiny dance and he laughs and shakes his head and reaches for his phone. “Yeah,” she says, but her brow furrows, her eyes on his phone.

“Oh, no, I’m not that guy,” he says, flipping the screen so she can see what he’s doing. “I’m not gonna ghost on you by disappearing into my phone, I’m just ordering pizza and potstickers. Because I figured – ”

He doesn’t finish his sentence because her lips crash into his, and they kiss until it dissolves into laughter, because this?

This is perfect.

anonymous asked:

For the ways to say I love you, could I request 14 for Jeddy? :)

Can I have this dance?

It had been almost a month now, James thought. Two and a half weeks since they’d spoken. Since they’d snuck out after hours. Since he’d even received one of those blinding smiles he loved so much. Loves. He still loves them, even if they’ve stopped coming.

A whole month. Frankly, James isn’t sure how he’s survived this long. How does one survive when ever day feels like the end of the world?

He supposed it helped that summer had arrived. He wasn’t forced to gaze longingly over breakfast, or bump into in the hallways or stare at in class. It was a change in setting. A change in setting in which he could be alone with his… nothing. No sound except maybe his wiz-radio playing softly in the background. It seemed to be the only thing he could stand these days.

James pressed his face deeper into his pillow, letting the soft song, a new one he thinks, wash over him in waves, barely registering he’s there. He stares at the wall because his eyes have nothing better to do. He can’t close them. Closing them gives free reign to his mind and he can’t have that. Not with unlimited images of him available to its disposal. So he stares and he half listens but, mostly, his heart hurts. And he lets it hurt.

Because what else is there to do?

He’d tried. He’d tried so hard and it had be so, excruciatingly wonderful for so long and then… what? Had Teddy changed his mind? No, he hadn’t said that. He’d been scared.

James closes his eyes tightly, unable to keep them open against the burn from lack of moisture, and suddenly he’s there again. He’s back in the library, he’s back watching Teddy’s conflicted face. He’s suddenly walking out again, hoping desperately that Teddy would follow him. But he hadn’t.

Teddy had been scared of something they could have stopped fearing years ago. Because they were older now. Yes, it had been unsteady at first but, in the end, over time, they’d had the room they needed. They’d been able to grow he and he into them and it was perfect. James hadn’t known happiness like that existed and then Teddy-

The hiding. The sneaking around, the worry. James sat up suddenly, pushing his face into his hands, feeling the sudden urge to move, to shake off this horrible, horrible ache. God, something had happened to Teddy and James didn’t know what. Something had happened to them. James didn’t know.

He wanted to cry, but all his body would reward him with was a painful lump in his throat that seemed to be his constant companion these days. He dug his thumbs into his temples, desperate for relief, for feeling, for anything but this.

The soft snick of his door opening made his head jerk upwards. He’d told his dad to stay away for now, that he would be fine, it was fine it was all fine-

James let a small noise out, surprised more than anything, longing more than that.

Teddy stood frozen, only just visible through the opening, hand poised on the handle. He looked lean and rumpled and tall and like summer. Only his hair had gone dark. James frowned at him. He’d never seen Teddy with dark hair. Always blonde accompanied by some streak of color. The chestnut strands he saw now arose dread and a small spark of hope within his chest.

Maybe he misses you too.

Teddy’s mouth was slightly open, as if he was surprised to find James in his own bedroom. His eyes flitted away from James then back once and he cleared his throat, “Um. Hi. Hello.”

James just stared at him, not trusting himself to speak.

Teddy let out a shaky breath, teeth worrying over his lip for a moment, “Right. I’d like- I’d like to come in, if I could.”

It was James’ turn to open and close his mouth a few times. He cleared his throat, desperate to rid it of the threat of emotion, and pulled his knees to his chest, looking away, “Fine.”

He heard Teddy let out a breath and him step in, closing the door. From the corner of his eye, James saw him lean his forehead against it momentarily.

Teddy hesitated, hands stuffing into his pockets, then un-stuffing, then leaning down to pick up a stray sock and dropping it into the hamper before, finally, sitting directly across from James.

“Please look at me.”

“Why should I?”

“Because I need you to.”

Teddy’s voice was honest and soft and James couldn’t help but find the eyes that he knew would match the sentiment.

James felt his resolve crumbling under that gaze. “Well?” He choked out.

James pressed his lips together, brows pulling low over his eyes, “Would it be acceptable for me to simply tell you I’m a stupid fuck up of a boyfriend?”

“No.” James swallowed, “Well, yes.”

Teddy didn’t hesitate, “I’m a stupid fuck up of a boyfriend.”

James looked down to his hands, “Oh, is that all?”

“No.” Teddy’s hands were over his before James could flinch away and, honestly, he wasn’t sure he would’ve had the strength to anyhow, “James.”

James raised his eyes again, momentarily watching Teddy’s throat work around his nervous swallow before finding his eyes again. His skin looked paler against his hair.

“James, I…”

James closed his eyes. If Teddy said his name like that one more time…

There were a few beats of silence, and then, “Isn’t this your favorite?”

James opened one eye, then the other, and was about to ask Teddy what the hell he was on about when he listened, actually listened, to the radio that he’d nearly forgotten was there.

And yes. James felt butterflies roll in his stomach, fluttering against his ribs. Yes, this was his favorite. It was a slow, minimal song. Guitar and not much else.

Teddy didn’t need confirmation. He hadn’t even really needed to ask. James knew this. Instead of inquiring a further answer, Teddy stood, offering his hand out to James who looked at it, then looked at him incredulously.

“What, is that tradition over too?”

James’ eyes hardened, “If you recall, I never wanted anything to be over.”

Teddy sighed harshly, “I’m trying to make it up to you. Please, I don’t know how to do this, you know I’m shit with words, I-“ Teddy closed his eyes briefly, letting his hand drop, “I feel like your a thousand miles away and I can’t- I can’t stand-“ He huffed again and held out his open palm, “Please.”

James rolled his eyes, standing with his fists clenched at his sides. “Oh, so you’ll dance with me, alone, in my bedroom, but you won’t even look at me at school? I’m sure that’s healthy.“


“Real upstanding model of a relationship-“

His breath was knocked out of him as he was suddenly pulled forward by the waist, hips pressing to Teddy’s, warm palms on his cheeks and a persistent, heavenly mouth over his.

James let himself be kissed for a few moments, too surprised to do much. He didn’t know what to think. Teddy was here, kissing him, rather desperately might he add, and he didn’t know quite what to make of it. Was all forgiven? Did Teddy expect this to make things better?

“T.” James said against Teddy’s lips, “Teddy.” He needed to pull away, they needed to talk about this, although his hands unconsciously made their own way to wind through Teddy’s hair.

Teddy kissed him for a last moment, a hard, closed mouth press, before he let off, both boys huffing out a shaky breath.

“I’d dance with you anywhere.” Teddy breathed.

James looked up at him, “What?”

Teddy’s fingers trailed over his cheeks, palm cupping the back of his neck, “I’d dance with you anywhere. I’d kiss you anywhere. Anywhere, James. It took me not having the option to kiss you at all for me to realize, and for that I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” His thumb stroked over the soft hairs at the back of James’ neck and James felt like he was entranced, like he couldn’t move, like he’d never be able to stop looking at this boy before him ever again. He wasn’t sure he ever wanted to stop anyhow. Teddy shook his head a little, “I’m sorry. But I do know now. Anywhere, James. I’ll be with you anywhere and I’ll be bloody proud to be. Fuck, I’ll stand up on the Gryffindor table, in front of the entire school, and say ‘Can I have this dance’ if that’s what you want-“

“Jesus,” James let out a laugh, or maybe it was a cry, “Jesus, shut up.” He wound his fingers tighter in Teddy’s hair and kissed him, kissed him like he wasn’t able to before, and like he might never stop kissing him.

“I really will-“ Teddy said between kisses, “Anything. Anything, James-“

“Shut up.” James said over the lump in his throat, laughing, crying, and kissing Teddy senseless, “God, you fucking—God, I love you.”

Teddy just kissed him again, his own ‘I love you’ in each touch.

anonymous asked:

I saw your tags that said you felt you couldn't write Flint/Thomas because of your lack of knowledge regarding nautical terminology. I am here to say that if you wrote a 100k epic of them and only used the word "boat", I would read every word of it and not feel deprived of a single thing. Your writing is lovely.

Aw, thank you! That does sum up my knowledge on all things nautical sadly (I just finished s3 and still none of the terminology has stuck to my brain).

But here is a post-s4 attempt.

It was quiet that night, no ocean, no wind, the first James experienced where he was unsure of his footing and all right with it. If he was dead, if Silver had shot him and thrown him into the ocean, buried him in the ground, if this was what his afterlife would be, if this was real and Thomas was alive and James was too and they shared the same patch of dirt–it did not matter.

Thomas was by his side, pressed against him by the warmth of the oil lamp, the bed too small for the both of them, but perfect still how neither one of them could move without touching the other, cold toes to knees to hips to chests.

Thomas’ nails scratched at what was left of James’ hair, fingers raking through the soft and barely there fuzz, ending to cup gently at the base of his head, fingers treading along his nape. James lay beside him, dazed and content, in some sort of magicked state of being that unwound every knot inside of him with every touch Thomas laid on him.

Ten long years surviving against all horrors and here he would meet his end from a tender touch on Oglethorpe’s land in Georgia. But this was Thomas and, as true as it had been a decade ago, James would more than gladly let the end come for him if it were for Thomas’s sake.

“The last time I saw you, your hair was much longer.” Thomas said. He pinched and then rubbed James’ ear.

James hid his face in Thomas’ neck, his beard scratching along the bridge of James’ nose, and said, “You have a beard.” 

“That I do.” Thomas said. He laughed and James kissed his neck for it, the sound of him making James’ already tight chest clench all the more. “Every day. I pictured you every day. Trying to remember how your freckles look in the sun. How your smile is a bit crooked. Wondering just what James McGraw was up to.”

There was an awful lump residing in James’ throat, he swallowed around it and knew it would be there for weeks and months and perhaps even years. He clung tighter.

“Nothing good.” James said. “Nothing you would want to hear.”

Thomas pressed his lips hard to James’ crown. “Nonsense. Absolute nonsense. I want to know everything.”

James’ eyes grew wet. He began to tremble as shame crept into the open, fear grasped hold of his throat, strangling him. “I can’t.”

Thomas kindly shushed him. He rubbed James’ back with both hands, soothing his shaking away until he was left boneless, far more exhausted now than from a day of working the sugar fields. 

“That’s all right.” Thomas said and moved to press his head against James’, cupping his jaw and forcing him to look at him, his own eyes gone glassy. “One day you’ll tell me and I won’t even blink.”

James’ lips wobbled into a smile. “Quite cocky, aren’t you?”

“Oh yes.” Said Thomas.

Regrets- Jeffmads/jamilton- Chapter one

James knew Thomas wasn’t the most loyal of men. Knew he did horrible things while drunk. But never once did he imagine it would happen to him. Aaron had warned him to be careful but did he listen? Of course not. And now he was watching his boyfriend kiss- well kiss was too sweet of a word, let’s say fucking suck faces with Alexander Hamilton. For a few moments James just stared at it, watching the scene, waiting, praying for one of them to realize that what they were doing was wrong. But nothing happened, other than Alexander moving into his lap, pulling at his clothes. James’ eyes widened, tears threatening to spill over and he ran, ran out of the dorm, slamming the door shut behind him, tears starting to spill. Without thinking he ran to the dorm of his and Thomas’ old best friend. After Aaron and Thomas had to debate against each other to get a spot on the team, Thomas declared that they couldn’t trust Aaron, James foolishly following along. He swallowed his pride, wiping away some of the tears, not sure how to hide his red and watery eyes, knocking on the door. The door opened, a tired Aaron standing there, rubbing sleep from his eyes. “James whatcha do- Are you alright?” Aaron asked, his expression going from annoyance to worried in a second.  James shook his head, attempting to choke out a response without breaking down in sobs.  “Thomas … Alex…” His voice trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.  Luckily Aaron seemed to realize what he meant and ushered him inside, pulling him into a hug, which surprised James. Aaron was rarely comforting or affectionate. He supposed it was just him feeling pitiful for him.  “James,” He started, unsure what to say, he had warned him about Thomas after all. “I’m sorry.” He said lamely, cursing himself for not being more empathetic.

James laughed bitterly. “You were right. As usual.”  He mumbled and Aaron laughed. “There are plenty of times when I’m wrong. I buy things like an ass for example.” Aaron said, trying to make his old friend smile, frowning when it didn’t work. “I’ll get you something to drink, how about some hot chocolate?”

“As long as it’s not alcohol, I turn into almost as a big of a whore that sober Thomas is”

Aaron chuckled. “I wouldn’t mind.” He teased, grinning when he heard James laugh.

Aaron finished making the hot chocolate and pulled out a box of ramen noodles, heating them up and returning to James. He lead him to the couch, watching him eat and drink.
James swallowed. “You’re being so nice, I wish- I wish Thomas wasn’t such a dick and let me be friends with you.”

Aaron chuckled, pulling James down so his head was resting on his lap, running his fingers through his soft hair, playing with it slightly. To James it was quite comforting and he let out a soft, content sound. Aaron looked down at him. “He controls who you’re friends with?”

“He lets me be friends with Eliza, but if he’s ever argued with the person he doesn’t want me to interact with them.” James laughed sadly. “I don’t have a lot of friends.” His voice trailed off and Aaron frowned. “Does he ever insult you?” He asked softly and James shook his head. “He lifts me up. Sometimes he reminds me that most people wouldn’t want to date someone who’s as broken as me but other than that all he does it compliment me.” James mumbled softly, growing tired as Aaron’s fingers continued to play with his hair soothingly. Aaron’s frown deepened as he silently decided to have a talk with Thomas, planning to tell him to either stop treating James how he was treating him or to tell him to back off of James.  James yawned softly and Aaron laughed. “Tired?” He asked in a soft voice, James nodding. “Yeah, I should probably head back.” He began to lift his head and Aaron lightly pushed him back down. “Stay here for the night. Then you can go back to Thomas and work it out, okay? Text me if things go south.” Aaron instructed, going back to playing with James’ hair. James yawned again, closing his eyes. “O-okay.” For moments there was silence, James’ breathing steady as he fell asleep.

@wordsofpoetrydreamsandillusions Will turn this into a full fic sometime soon :B Hope it works for your prompt!

James’ fingers fidgeted with the same restlessness that filled his mind. Fortunately, the nervous tick was concealed by the way his hands were clasped behind his back in the firm stance of any proper naval lieutenant. Despite the months that had passed, despite the unwavering ties he had formed with Thomas Hamilton, the way the man was peering over at him now was more than enough to send butterflies fluttering through his stomach. The weight of those blue eyes made him feel raw and vulnerable in a way he would never grow accustomed to.

It had been a week since that night he had joined Thomas and Miranda at the dinner table alongside Alfred Hamilton. A week since he had brazenly ordered the pompous lord from his own home. Since Thomas had risen from his seat, regarding him with a tender expression not unlike the one he wore now, and returned to him a piece he had never known was missing.

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Drunk - Part 2 (Sirius)

Part 1

* * *

You clutched your mug to your chin the next morning wondering what the hell to do. ‘Morning.’ James said, entering the kitchen. 
‘You look rough.’ You said, admiring the bruises on his arms, the dark circles under his eyes and the serious case of bed-head. ‘Shuddup.’ He groaned, rubbing his eyes. You chewed on your lip as James pulled out the cereal and poured himself a very large bowl. ‘Hey can I ask you something?’ You asked, seizing the moment. James grunted and you took it as a yes. ‘Did you tell Sirius that I don’t love him?’ You asked. James opened the fridge and starting poring milk into his cereal. ‘Probably.’ He said, not looking up. 
‘Why?’ You pressed, feeling a bit hurt. James shrugged, putting the milk back and picking up his bowl. ‘Because you don’t.’ He said, starting to walk away. 
‘Woah woah woah!’ You cried, pulling his arm. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’James freed his arm and turned to you, sighing. ‘Because it’s obvious that he loves you more than you love him.’ 
‘And how do you know that?’ You asked, folding your arms. 
‘He has given you loads of chances to prove it but you never take them.’ James shrugged again and turned away. ‘Just obvious.’ He walked into his room, closing the door behind him. 
It was common knowledge that you weren’t the best at seeing signs of emotion. Or that you were good with dealing with emotions. The truth was you had liked Sirius for a very long time. A very long time. But since you didn’t see any signs you moved on. You placed the mug gently on the counter and made the brave decision to talk to Sirius. 

‘Sirius?’ You said, knocking on his door. He grunted in reply. You opened the door to see Sirius sitting on the edge of his bed, the sun pouring into his bedroom. He, like James, looked rough. Hair sticking up in random positions, dark circles under his eyes and his face blotchy. ‘What’s up?’ He asked as you sat down next to him. ‘I just wanted to talk to you about something but it’s a bit awkward.’ You said truthfully. 
‘Hit me.’ Sirius replied, his full attention on you. 
‘Okay. Okay.’ You said, preparing yourself. ‘Well last night you said something to me-’ 
‘Oh lord, what was it?’ Sirius said rubbing his eyes. ‘Did I tell you i wanted to be a dragon trainer again? Because I don’t only drunk Sirius does-’ 
‘No!’ You said, laughing. ‘It was uh-you told me you loved me.’ The colour drained from Sirius’ face. 
‘Oh.’ Was all he managed to say. ‘Well-uh-you know, people say dumb things when they’re drunk like, the dragon trainer stuff so…’ 
‘Yeah well,’ You swallowed, ‘James kinda confirmed it this morning so…’
‘Ah…’‘We don’t have to talk about it, obviously!’ You said, standing up, ‘I shouldn’t have said anything, I’m sorry!’ ‘No wait!’ Sirius said. You stopped. Your heart was beating so fast. ‘What if it was true?’ ‘What?’‘What if it was true? That I…loved you.’ Sirius’ eyes were locked on yours. You were finding it more and more difficult to swallow. ‘Then we would have a problem.’ You replied. Sirius’ shoulders dropped. ‘Why?’ He croaked. ‘Because I love you as well.’ ‘And-uh-’ Sirius started but he was smiling too much. You were smiling too. ‘Why is that a problem?’ He asked, standing up. ‘Because we live together.’ You said matter-of-factly. Sirius moved closer towards you. ‘Well…’ He said, ‘I mean, you live down the hall.’ ‘My room is down the hallway.’ You grinned as Sirius began to close the gap. ‘Yeah.’ He replied, ‘And my room is here.’ He said, and you could feel his hot breath on your skin. ‘So…’ He trailed off, the end of his sentence lost as he pressed his lips to yours, his hand running up your back and tangling in your hair. The kiss was short and sweet and afterwards you both looked like you had slept with coat hangers in your mouths. ‘So.’ He said, his hand on your waist, ‘You do love me like James loves Lily?’ ‘Well, well, well.’ You said, ‘So you do remember last night?’ ‘Maybe.’ He said, but his eyes were shining. 
Young and a Menace-Jeffmads

[Disclaimer: despite how the fanfic starts this fic does not have  anything to do with hallucinations.I am not diving into that serious of a topic yet.]

And send a message, I was young and a menace- Young and Menace, Fall Out Boy.

James sat against a tree, sat somewhere in a forest, doodling, just trying to get his thoughts onto paper.

“Whatcha drawing, hun?” A voice called from above him and James tensed, trying to ignore how soothing it was.

“Go away, you’re not real.” He said, though his voice was shaky and frail. When it wasn’t Thomas or another human it would be shadows attacking his mind. Attacking him.

They would leave scratches that James gave up trying to explain, what was the use when no matter what he said it would be written off as false. He frowned when Thomas sat down next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. 

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anonymous asked:

13 and flinthamilton if you are feeling up to it? i'm a fan of your writing!

This was lovely to write, thanks for the prompt, anon! I hope you enjoy it. <3

13     “Kiss me.”

The salon has ended. Even Peter has finally departed. And with one meaningful look at Thomas,  and a small smile for James, Miranda has gone to bed, leaving them alone in the study.

Thomas stands by the fireplace, lost in thought.

“I should be going too.” James says finally. He’s not sure what he expected. The day has been far too eventful already, but he has faith in Thomas. The thought brings a smile to his lips; he has faith in Thomas Hamilton. Six months ago, he never would have believed himself, and yet now here he is.

Thomas looks up in surprise. “You’re going?”

“It’s late and…” James drifts off at the look in Thomas’s eye. “Was there something else, my lord?”

“My lord?” Thomas repeats. “You defend me in my father’s house, you stand at my side when other men fall away and  yet still…’my lord’?”

“I wasn’t sure…” James begins uncertainly.

“Earlier I kissed you.” Thomas says without preamble. “That kiss was not unwanted, was it?”

“How can you think that?” James responds.

Thomas nods. “Then…come here.”

James moves to stand beside him in front of the fireplace while Thomas gazes at him.

“You…surprise me at every turn of the road we take,” Thomas murmurs, “and with every surprise, I find myself still…” He reaches out a hand to take James’s.

James watches as though in a dream as Thomas’s fingertips caress the back of his hand. They slide over his palm, holding his hand gently, lovingly in Thomas’s own.

“May I make a request of you, lieutenant?”

“Anything.” James says at once.

“Anything?” Thomas repeats. “That is a very broad spectrum.”

“Anything.” James repeats stoutly. He said it, he meant it, he will not take the words back now.

“Kiss me.”

James swallows lightly, and then leans up to press his lips to Thomas’s. This kiss is a continuation of the one in the dining room; it’s the beginning of another kiss altogether. It’s an awakening, a step into another world, a brighter, more vivid, more hopeful world.

His lips upon Thomas’s, Thomas’s hand coming up to encircle the back of his head, drawing him closer so that their chest touch, and James can feel his heart beat more quickly at the feel of Thomas’s body touching his.

“Thomas.” James breathes.

“May I make another request of you?” Thomas whispers across his lips.

“I said anything.” James can feel Thomas’s smile against his cheek.

“Then stay.”


Imagine James and Sirius following Severus when he starts sneaking off suspiciously on weekends and discovering something surprising.

“Look, I’m just saying when a bloke sneaks off that often he’s usually trying to hide something big.”  Sirius insisted as the two sat alone at two am in the Common room.

Remus and Peter had gone off to bed around midnight but Sirius was persistent about James hearing him out.

“And just what do you suppose he could be hiding?” James inquired skeptically.

“You know what sort of stuff he’s in to…” Sirius hissed. “And the sort he hangs around.”

“He’s just weird.” James shrugged. “That doesn’t make him dangerous.”

“Still, every week, like clockwork? It couldn’t hurt to check it out.” Sirius eyed him and James thought a moment before sighing.

“I guess we could look into it, but we’ll have to be careful about it.” he warned. “if you’re right, who knows what he could be doing. We’ll take the invisibility cloak to be safe”

So they waited for Saturday afternoon to roll around lazily, when the students would be allowed to Hogsmead village.

Despite being an obvious odd duck, Snape was difficult to track as he took sharp, sudden corners and back alleys, as if he knew he was being followed.

The two finally followed him into a shady looking pub on the edge of the village, filled with the sorts that one wouldn’t find in Honeydukes or The Three Broomsticks.

Despite his age, Severus wasn’t stopped by anyone as he approached the bar, tailed by the two classmates under the cloak who grew increasingly interested in the mystery of their schoolmate.

“You know where it is.” The gruff looking barkeep eyed the lanky boy and shifted his eyes to a back room.

He muttered a thanks and swept back quickly, so fast that the two boys had to squeeze through the door before it closed again and just barely made it through.

In the backroom was a dirty fireplace with a pot of grey ash on a table beside it. Severus sighed and took a handful of dust and approached the fireplace with a sense of routine about him, movements almost robotic in their steadiness.

“Spinner’s End” He spoke clearly and dropped the ash before disappearing in a whoosh of green fire that enveloped him but didn’t leave a single burn.

As soon as he left James tossed off the cloak, “did you catch that?” He turned to Sirius who nodded.

“Yeah, wonder what’s on Spinner’s End.” He breathed before grabbing a handful of ash. “Only one way to find out.”

With a shared nod the two entered and repeated the words before dropping the dust and being whisked away to a dark and dirty alley way unfamiliar to them both.

The air was thick with smog and the sounds from a far off mill could be heard just over the chatter of the afternoon.

“Where is he?” James asked and Sirius peered down the alley and caught the edge of a black cloak flitting just around the corner.

“That way, fast.” They ran down the cobblestone road, their subject just within eyesight until they paused as Severus slowed down in front of a dark house that loomed ominously over the street.

“What’s he doing?”

“I’m not sure.” James whispered as Severus fumbled in his pockets for a heavy metal key which he jiggled in the unreliable lock of the door.

“I think he’s trying to pick the lock.”

Sirius squinted and frowned. “A break in?”

“Didn’t think him the type.”

The door opened unwillingly when Severus, with a grunt of effort and frustration, rammed his shoulder on the panel and the lock gave with a click.

As the door closed the two drew their wands and approached the house slowly.

“What do we do?” James asked and Sirius listened carefully before a piercing cry broke the air.

A baby.

“Okay, that’s it.” Sirius growled and pounded on the door, “Keep an eye out for a bobby or something Prongs.”

The crying grew louder as they waited and footsteps echoed behind the door. Suddenly the noise stopped instantly and the knob of the door turned slowly  and the hinges squealed loudly as the door opened only just enough for a pale arm and face to lean out.

“What the Hell?” Severus blinked a moment in utter confusion before glaring heatedly. “Black? Potter?” He frowned and looked over their shoulders at the semi-empty street. “Did you two follow me?”

Black, still gripping his wand frowned. “What makes you think that, Snape?”

“Well, You’re at my house. In the middle of the day…what are you doing here?” Severus grunted and looked behind the door and adjusted something awkwardly.

“We could ask you the same thing, students aren’t supposed to leave the village during trips.” James pointed out and Severus frowned.

“Look, I’m sort of busy right now so…”

The door began to close but Sirius jammed it with the toe of his shoe, “Not until you start explaining Snape.”

“I don’t have to explain anything, especially not to you two.” Snape hissed but flinched as a softly snuffling behind the door turned to short sobs. “Shit”

Taking advantage of the distraction Sirius pushed the door open fully and Severus stepped back.

The two boys couldn’t have been more shocked if they tried as Severus glared at them with hate as he tried to re-position the whimpering infant on his hip.

“Are you two out of your damn minds?” He hissed as he popped a pacifier back into the child’s mouth.

Breaking from his daze, James blinked. “Snape, whose kid is that?”

“My mother’s, if you must know” Severus replied smartly. “Look you really shouldn’t be here”

“But…I mean why?”

“Well” Severus shuffled uncomfortably, “Someone’s gotta take care of her, now will you two please just…”

“Well what about your mum or a service or…”

“Mum works, and we can’t afford…look this really doesn’t concern you. Now please leave.” Severus ordered firmly and the two boys shared a look before nodding slowly and began to turn.

“Wait.” Severus stopped them with a slightly desperate tone and they looked back to find him looking paler than normal and extremely anxious.

“Don’t…don’t tell anyone about this. okay?” He asked, trying to sound like he wasn’t begging.

“It’s just… I don’t like the idea of her alone while Mum works, okay? I mean the neighbor looks in on her but…” He confessed and glanced at the infant in his arms that amused herself by pulling on his shirt and bunching up the fabric in her tiny fists.

“It’s just on the weekends…it’s no big deal…just don’t…don’t say anything.”

James nodded and glanced at Sirius who looked much more somber now.

“Yeah…sure.” Sirius agreed and James swallowed. “Not a word.”

“Not a word.” James echoed and Severus’s shoulders went slightly slack from relief.

“Right, well uh…y-you know the way out.” He motioned to the still open door.

“Yeah.” James nodded and put a hand on Sirius’s shoulder and gently pushed him toward the door.

No one spoke another word as the two left and the door was shut firmly. They returned to the hidden floo in the alley and returned to the village and back to the Castle without exchanging a single sentence.

They silently and mutually agreed not to speak on it until dinner that evening when, as they sat at the Gryphindor table, they spotted the dour looking teen sitting at the opposing table with his lank hair hanging in his face.

Severus, feeling the eyes on him, glanced up only just and eyed them with an unreadable gaze before sending them a slight, barely noticeable nod which was returned in a similarly curt manner.