james potter*

  • Sirius: This envelope contains the inheritance my uncle left me. He died a year ago. He was so rich he had a whole room in his house just to eat in.
  • Remus: You mean like a dining room?
  • Sirius: Yeah, but in Kensington.
  • James: Oh, dang.
  • Sirius: Now just because I'm definitely rich now doesn't mean I'm gonna forget my roots. You all get something, so fire away.
  • Peter: Sirius, your friendship is gift enough for me.
  • James: Friendship is crap. I want a new racing broom.
  • Remus: Oh cool, I want a new broom too.
  • Sirius: Come on, you can be honest.
  • Remus: I want old expensive books. I'll send you a list.

Face claim for Louis Weasley
Froy Gutierrez

dating remus lupin:

Originally posted by nellaey

~ okay so this is remus ,freakin, lupin so he would obviously be so nervous when asking you out.

~ first he would ask you out on a date to hogsmede.

~ but instead of going to madam puddifoot’s like most dates go to, you would go to tomes and scrolls and look at books.

~ then you would go to get butterbears at the hog’s head.

~OBVIOUSLY he wouldn’t tell the other marauders about the date until after it happened because they would tease him so much about it!!

~the teasing would be something like:

~ “moony. MoOnY. MOONY! look who walked into the great hall.”

~ “we just saw Y/N walk into the classroom moony.”

and of course you would think the marauders are being polite when they give up their seat just so you can sit next to remus.

~ soon after the date and all the teasing from the marauders he would finally pluck up courage to ask you out.

~ at first he would be so careful of what he says does when with you.

~ but soon he would become comfortable around you.

~ you and him always in the library.

~ sometimes just sat there in complete silence reading a book

~ but to remus that would be a perfect date.

~ and in the common room he would read his favourite book at the time to you. and for different characters in the book he’d put on different voices.

~ and  you would laugh

~and remus would sit there smiling and thinking he is the luckiest man alive to have you as his girlfriend.

~ also the MaRaUdErS!!

~ they would be SO happy that precious little remmikins has finally got a girl and is happy.

~ obviously Sirius would be jealous because WOLFSTAR…

~ but he would be happy for remus.

~ and whenever you would leave the room remus would smile because he is a cutie!!

~ then james or Sirius would say something like “AWWWWW. look at remus’ little smile”

~ and he would blush a hella of a lot.

~ little things

~ like height difference.

~ man is that boy tall

~ he wouldn’t be into pda

~ but would always sneak a little forehead kiss whenever he could

~ walking down the corridors he would always beholding your hand

~ hugging!

~ he would love just wrapping his arms around your waist

~ he just has to be touching you somewhere to feel safe ;)

~  after full moons he wouldn’t want you to see him with all his fresh wounds.

~ but you wouldn’t care and would sneak into see him

~ you would love him and all his scars

~ the marauders love you because of that


~ before you bag would just be full of books

~ but when its close to the full moon its filled with chocolate

~ “love”

~ remus is just so sweet

~ i want one

 ~ someone buy me a remus john lupin .


A/N: got this idea from a news story and then i told @petalstofish who is entirely to blame for this fic lolol.  Idk if it will be clear, but my intent is for this to be a muggle AU and I didn’t really commit to a time period, so it could be modern or ‘marauders era’ minus magic (I go with the latter, but whatever you like).

Also available on FF and Ao3!

It all starts with an unreasonably un-British heat wave in what’s supposed to be ‘late spring.’  And really, they try to be ‘stiff upper lip’ and all, but sweaty ankles in mid March are just a completely unreasonable state of affairs.  So, being the spunky teen he is, James pens a strongly worded letter to the headmaster – who looks entirely too comfortable to not have a tiny flock of fans beneath his academic robes – that includes lots of phrases like ‘human rights’ and ‘student welfare’ and ‘modernizing society.’  Remus convinces him to delete the part that accuses them of being backward, stuck up, priss-pots, but he still holds it was the strongest passage.  And yet, part of him knows if Sirius agreed, Remus was perhaps in the right.

And still, despite his rousing verbiage and convincing arguments, Headmaster Dumbledore soon notifies him that the Board did not in fact agree with his position and wanted to uphold the ‘long and hallowed tradition’ of boys sweating their arses off and likely ending up with heatstroke before summer hols.  Or something to that effect.

The idea hits like a flash the Friday after their disappointing news while they’re lazing around in the shady grove behind the ancient looking school, spritzing each other with chilled water and seeing who’s face melts ice fastest.  Sirius has just claimed victory for the third time when Peter sits bolt upright, face flush and eyes mischievous, “They want tradition and rules, eh?”

Which is how the four boys end up in their artfully messed dorm, pouring over James’ leather-bound Hogwarts Academy Rules and Regulations Handbook that had disappeared beneath extraneous papers and books nearly the moment first year James had received it. Remus quirks a brow when the spine cracks like new, and James simply shrugs, “I prefer the rules I break to be a surprise.”

After accepting a high-five from Sirius, they quickly flip to the section on ‘appropriate dress’ and scour the paragraphs for a loophole, but Peter simply skims the page and sits back, looking entirely too smug as he grins.  “Just as I thought, lads.  We’ve got our way out.”

Keep reading

Co-managing as Head Boy and Head Girl is a give and take. You have to pick your battles. One of the battles that I picked was to stop James from running plastic tubes all over the common room and placing hamsters inside of them. He was going to call it Tube City. So, yes, I do owe him one.
—  Lily Evans
As Good As Dead pt.1 (Remus x Reader x Sirius)

(I haven’t posted in forever, I’m slowly working on a couple requests right now, so look out for those soon. I hope you like this one! It’s VERY dramatic) The italic indicates a flashback btw

The day Remus Lupin was reunited with his closest mate was one of the best days of his life. Discovering Sirius was innocent was a bittersweet realization. When Dumbledore instructed him to take Sirius back to Grimmauld Place his heart wrenched, he knew all Sirius wanted as a teenager was to get out of that house. Another person was on the forefront of his mind, his wife, (Y/N). You had been best mates since 1st year at Hogwarts and immediately Remus had fallen head over heels.

 “So Remus, who did I see you flirting with at breakfast this morning?” Sirius asked with an overdramatic raise of his eyebrows. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about, I don’t flirt.” He responded, bringing his book closer to his nose. “Her name’s (Y/N).” shouted James across the common room. You looked up from your textbook you were reading in the corner and looked over at the boys, hearing your name. “She seems cool” commented Peter. 

Sirius looked skeptically at him, “What makes you say that?” Peter shrugged, “She saved me from some Slytherins the other day. Used some charms I’ve never even heard of, turned their faces upside down, it was hilarious.” “She’s quite clever.” added Remus with a slight nod. They could practically see the lightbulb above James head, “Maybe she could help us with- you know, our little project.” Sirius shook his head, “I don’t know, we don’t know if we can trust her not to squeal, she seems like a goody-two shoes.”

 You slammed your book shut, turning all the boys heads. You stood from your seat and walked with purpose over to them. “I am not a goody-two shoes, tell me what kind of project and I will be able to help you but, if I want to is a whole other story” You said as you sat next to a blushing Remus on the couch, crossing your legs. “And why should we trust you?” asked Sirius pompouslly.

 “Why not?’ You asked in the same tone back. 

“Touché” answered Sirius. 

“IIIII like her!” declared James.

You became the fifth and brightest Marauder, and according to everyone besides Sirius, the prettiest. That was until 5th year when Sirius noticed how pretty you were and despite knowing the fact Remus was in love with you, he asked you out.

“You know, I’ve been thinking, Moony.” started Sirius as he plopped next to Remus on the common room couch, pulling him from his textbook, “Wow, that’s new.” commented Remus with a smirk. “Very funny, How do you feel about (Y/N)?” 

Remus’s eyebrows scrunched, “Our best friend of 5 years (Y/N)? I think you know how I feel about her.” Sirius groaned, “No, I mean- I know you had a thing for her for a while.” Remus’s face flushed, “Why-why do you need to know how I feel about, (Y/N).” “I just need to know if you’re still bloody in love with her, that’s all.”

“I just feel kind of uncomfortable answering that.”

“Then it’s a yes.”

“I never said yes, Padfoot.”

“If it was no, you would have just said no. So it’s a yes, you’re in love with her.”


“So, I can ask her out?” 

Remus’s heart stopped, “What?”

“I want to ask (Y/N) out.”


Sirius shrugged, “I don’t know, we had a moment the other night.”

“What do you mean?”

“We kissed.”

Remus stood suddenly, his book falling to the floor. “Are you mad at me?” Sirius asked. “No, no, do whatever you want, Sirius, just like you always do!” Remus answered angrily and stormed up the stairs.

 You first thought Sirius asked you out as a joke but after a couple dates, you found yourself falling for him.

 “So, what if I asked you to be my girlfriend?” Sirius asked, smirking as you two walked back to the Hogwarts Express from Hogsmeade. You took a deep breath, “What are you getting at, Pads?” Sirius stopped, touching your arm, “What do you mean?”

You rolled your eyes, “I mean, are you just doing all this just to shag me because you haven’t shown me anything more than friendship the past 5 years.”

“(Y/N), I really like you, honestly.”

“If you want to do this for real, I know it sounds stupid but for my sake you need to promise not to hurt me.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Sirius said, looking surprised.

“You need to promise me, Pads.” you said looking pleadingly into his eyes.

“I promise.”

 After Hogwarts, the Marauders slowly started to drift, with Lily and James starting a family, Remus trying to become a professor, and Sirius focusing on The Order. You lived together in a small flat above a barbers. Even though the place was small, you had no money, and weren’t able to see your friends as much as you’d like, you had Sirius and he had you and that was enough.

 You smiled at the sight of Sirius fervently working on papers for The Order at the kitchen table. You bent down and pressed a kiss to his temple. “You want some tea?” you asked. 

“No, no, I’m good, thanks love.”

“Do you need help?”

 Sirius leaned back in his seat. “I’m almost done, I could use a better kiss.” He said with a smirk. You smiled feeling a blush creep on your cheeks. You bent down and pressed a kiss to his lips, as you started to pull back, he stood with you, making the kiss more passionate. He let out a soft moan, you pulled back, chuckling. “I’m going to get some tea for me, you dog” You stood and waved your wand over the kettle. Sirius felt his heart skip as he watched you.

”What do you have planned for The Order meeting?”


You steeped your tea, and turned to face Sirius to see him down on one knee, holding a small box containing a simple diamond ring. You felt the mug slip from your fingers and shatter on the floor. “Bloody hell, I didn’t think it would be that much of a surprise.” he said with a chuckle.

 “What are you doing?” you breathed.

 “I don’t know what’s going to happen with this war, but I can’t not be married to you any longer. Will you marry me, (Y/N)?” He looked at you like a precious stone.

“Of course.”

 After Sirius had been taken to Azkaban, Remus was the only one you had left. You became close again like you were at Hogwarts. Remus found it harder and harder not to proclaim his love for you.

 You were racked with sobs. All you could do is cling to Remus. “It-it’s gonna be…” Remus couldn’t finish the sentence because he didn’t know. He felt his own tears slip down his cheeks as he stared at the grave. You looked up at him. “I-I can’t go home alone, Moony.” You sucked in a deep breath.

“You can come to my flat, it’s no problem.”

“Thank you, I-I don’t think I would survive without you.”

“I don’t think I would survive without you either.” he muttered before kissing the top of your head softly.

It was you who after three years of grieving for your friends and recovering from the loss of your first love, who kissed Remus late one evening.

“(Y/N), what are you doing?” Remus whispered breathlessly when he noticed your lips close proximity to his. The lust in your eyes confused him. He had lived his entire life suppressing romantic feelings for you, accepting he lost you to Sirius but, now Sirius was as good as dead and those feelings became harder and harder to push down.

 You brought your fingertips to Remus’s face, causing him to slightly flinch. “I think for once, I actually know.” You stood on your tip-toes pressed a simple, soft kiss to his lips.

 Remus remembered Sirius once describe kissing you like melting, but he thought it felt more like flying. Back at Hogwarts he would always find himself watching your lips as you told a story or murmur the words of a textbook under your breath. Sometimes he couldn’t help but indulge himself in thinking about kissing them but guilt would soon overtake him. This time he didn’t feel guilt, it just felt right. You pulled away slowly, still an inch from his lips. Remus took in a shaky breath, bringing his large hand up to rest on your jaw. “C-can I..” he asked, gaze flicking from your lips back up to your eyes. You nodded your head quickly, Remus ducked his head and attached his lips to yours passionately.

 It was 9 years later and you and Remus have been happily married for 5. He loved you more than ever, and somehow you got more attractive and irresistible everyday.

 Remus was visiting Sirius in Grimmauld place for the first time since the Shrieking Shack. He ducked through the fireplace and was immediately knocked back by Sirius’s embrace. 

“Oh, Moony. I bloody missed you.”

 Remus hugged him back. “I just saw you, you git.” He said jokingly.

 “For a second, then you went all mental werewolf.” Sirius said chuckling as he gripped Remus’s shoulders.

 “How’s Harry?”

 “I don’t know, I haven’t seen him. As well as to be expected, I suppose. I think he’s planning on staying with the Weasley’s for some of the holiday.”

 “Good, good. Molly’ll take good care of him.”

Remus nodded in agreement. A strange awkward silence fell, he could tell Sirius wanted to say something else but just gestured to the grand kitchen table.

 “Sit, Mate. Can I get you something?”

 Remus sat across from Sirius at the table

.”No,no. I-I ate before I came.”

 The silence fell again. Remus didn’t understand why he felt tension but he could cut it with a knife. “Kreacher, two firewhiskeys please!” Sirius shouted over his shoulder. All that was heard was Kreacher’s disgruntled murmuring. 

“Can ask you, Moony?” Sirius asked, his previous excitement depleting. “Anything” Remus answered before taking in a shaky breath, anticipating the question.

 “Are you uh… still in contact with (Y/N)?” 

Remus’s heart dropped, “Uhh.. yeah, yes I-I am.” He cringed at the awkward choppiness of his words.

 Sirius sighed with relief, sinking back into his chair. “Mate, you don’t even know.” He ran his hands down his face. “She’s all I can think about.”

 Remus didn’t know what to say, he opened and closed his mouth but was cut off by Kreacher shoving two glasses on the table. “Thank you, Kreacher” Sirius said with a smirk before turning back to Remus.

 “Does she know I’m innocent yet?” He asked. “She always knew you were innocent.” Sirius smiled, “I mean does she know I’m here?” “No.” Remus said quietly, sipping his whiskey. 

Sirius took in Remus’s expression, noticing something wasn’t right. “S-she isn’t seeing someone, is she?” He asked leaning forward.

 “She’s married, Sirius.”

 Sirius’s expression was unreadable. Remus felt like his heart was going to jump out onto the table. 

Sirius’s voice became very low, “To who?” he practically growled.

 “Me.” Remus answered breathlessly, staring at his glass.

Sirius stood suddenly from the table, his chair falling behind him. He looked as if he was going to lunge at Remus but pulled himself back. Remus stood slowly, “I’m so sorry, you were as good as dead, Padfoot. We thought you were gone forever” he whispered, locking eyes with Sirius.

 He saw his anger start to subside into sadness.

 “The thought of coming home to her kept me alive.” Sirius spoke shakily. Remus didn’t know what to say.

 “You always loved her…” Sirius started quietly.

 Remus nodded, “After that day we were both in so much pain, all we had was each other.” 

“And she loves you?”


 “And you’re both happy?”

 “More than I’ve ever been. I’d like to think she feels the same.”

 That silence fell again. Sirius looked at him, his eyes full of unrecognizable emotion.


“We’re infertile.”

 “Can I see her?” 

“Of course.” Remus answered with a sigh.”I’ll get her now.” Remus headed to the fireplace but stopped and turned to Sirius, “Can you ever forgive me?” Sirius said nothing, but was staring at a scratch on the table. Remus turned and floo powered to his and your flat.

 “Grimmauld Place? Why Grimmauld Place?” You asked as Remus tried to usher you to the fireplace. “Dumbledore says it’s the safest place for the meetings.” 

You shuttered, “Merlin, I hate that place. Who’s going to be there?” 

“Dumbledore, Tonks, Moody, maybe Arthur. C’mon, we only have to go for a minute.” 

 You stumbled through the fireplace, practically falling onto the grand table. Remus couldn’t help but chuckle at your clumsiness. You slapped his shoulder playfully, then turned to take in the house.

 “Where is everyone?” you asked.

 “Um, I don’t know. Sit, I’ll look in the bedrooms.” 

You sat, drumming your fingers in the table. You had awful memories you couldn’t bear to think of in this house, being a muggleborn and meeting Sirius’s parents for the first and last time. You stood suddenly, tired of waiting and walked down the hallway you knew the bedrooms were on. 

You walked to the door you saw open, hearing voices. You turned through the door and stopped in your tracks.

 Your jaw dropped and eyes widened. Your mind went wild until it settled on the reason you were seeing Sirius Black standing in front of you.

 “Tonks, that’s not funny! Cut it out!” 

You felt anger boiling. You couldn’t believe she would do this, she knows you’re sensitive when it comes to the past.

 “Tonks, change back!” 

You were infuriated by the clueless look in her eyes.

“Love, it’s not Tonks.” Remus said softly. Your face flushed and you felt your heart pumping out of your chest.

 “Pads?” you asked quietly, scared he wasn’t the real thing. 

Tears slipped down Sirius’s cheeks, his voice was croaky “It’s me, (Y/N).” You glanced at your husband, he was looking away, staring at a stain on the wallpaper. You looked back at Sirius and stepped to him, touching your fingers to his cheekbone. He looked pleadingly into your eyes, it was obviously physically hurting him to not slam his lips onto yours. You didn’t really know what to say, you just slowly wrapped your arms around his neck and rested your forehead on his chest. He quickly wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you flush to him, a deep breath leaving his chest he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

 Even though your eyes were shut you could feel Remus watching you pensively, anticipating losing you to Sirius once again.

drop the teabags

so i made another one bc these are hella fun to write

Remus Lupin to it is perfectly normal to cry in wonder woman: can we establish the ground rules for tonight

Sirius Black: rules schmules

Remus Lupin: do you want your arse to be front page news again?

Sirius Black: those readers were blessed

James Potter: I have it framed

Sirius Black: aww babe

Peter Pettigrew to can you die from too much Nutella?: where are you guys???

James Potter: sry SOMEONE was being dramatic

Sirius Black: it’s not my fault the hairdryer broke

Sirius Black: I couldn’t leave with DAMP hair

Peter Pettigrew: hurry the fuck up

James Potter: pete its fine

Peter Pettigrew: its raining and ive been waiting twenty mins

Peter Pettigrew: it is noT FINE

Rita Skeeter (@ritaskeeter) tweeted: ‘The Maruaders’ frontman James Potter flirts up a storm with old friend Marlene McKinnon at Oscars, are they dating?

Sirius Black (@siriuslyblack) tweeted: @jampots how could you do this to me?

James Potter (@jampots) tweeted: @siriuslyblack you weren’t supposed to find out this way

Marlene McKinnon (@marlsmckinnon) tweeted: @jamspotter you can’t afford me

James Potter (@jampots) tweeted: @marlmckinnon rude tbh

James Potter to Remus Lupin: are ppl acc believing this crap

Remus Lupin: you didn’t exactly help the situation

James Potter: what if evans sees it?

Remus Lupin: I thought you were over it

James Potter: ….

James Potter: i am

James Potter: one hundred percent

Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: he’s not over it

Sirius Black: well obviously

Sirius Black: he’s been playing her album on repeat for the last three weeks

Remus Lupin: are you still stealing his spotify?

Sirius Black: im not made of money

Remus Lupin: you have a Porsche….

Sirius Black: details details

James Potter to SUIT UP: who’s doing the speech if we win the grammy?

Peter Pettigrew: I thought you were

Remus Lupin: you said you’d written it

James Potter: where’s the evidence

Remus Lupin sent a screenshot

James Potter: well shit

Rita Skeeter (@ritaskeeter) tweeted: Lily Evans throws drink over James Potter at Grammy’s, is it over his relationship with Marlene McKinnon?

Marlene McKinnon (@marlsmckinnon) tweeted: for gods sake I am NOT dating james

James Potter (@jampots) tweeted: @marlsmckinnon I’m hurt

Marlene McKinnon (@marlsmckinnon) tweeted: you know I love you rlly @jampots

Remus Lupin (@rjlupin) tweeted: @marlsmckinnon @jampots this is exactly what I was talking about

Peter Pettigrew to Sirius Black: why did she throw her drink at him?

Sirius Black: he apologised for being rude to snivilus

Peter Pettigrew: how does that make sense??

Sirius Black: but then he said it wasn’t his fault she was friends with a racist twat

Peter Pettigrew: oh

James Potter to Marlene McKinnon: did you talk to her?

Marlene McKinnon: mate you need to drop it

James Potter: I’m an idiot

Marlene Mackinnon: yes, yes you are

James Potter to Lily Evans: I’m an idiot

James Potter: and I’m sorry

Lily Evans: you can’t keep apologising and then not changing

James Potter: what do you want me to do evans?

Lily Evans: move on potter

James Potter changed the chat name to lets get drunk pls

Peter Pettigrew: u okay?

James Potter: not rly

Sirius Black: we’re on our way

The Daily Prophet (@TheDailyProphet) tweeted: James Potter photographed kissing mystery girl in back of club

Lily Evans sent a photo to Marlene McKinnon

Lily Evans: is that who I think it is

Marlene McKinnon: you’re not seriously jealous

Lily Evans: ofc not

Lily Evans: its just a bit of a surprise

Marlene McKinnon: you told him to move on lil

Lily Evans: I didn’t mean with dorcas

Rita Skeeter (@ritaskeeter) tweeted: James Potter’s mystery girl is Dorcas Meadowes, close friend of Lily Evans and Marlene McKinnon, all 3 attended school with The Maruaders.

Sirius Black to no the next album will not be called sirius and the others: someone buy teabags

James Potter: there are spares under my bed

Sirius Black: about that

James Potter: you fucker

Peter Pettigrew: did you try moonys stash in his wardrobe

Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: you stay away from those teabags

Sirius Black: too late

Remus Lupin: I’m telling mrs potter

Sirius Black: you wouldn’t

Remus Lupin: too late

Dorcas Meadowes to Lily Evans: u know me and james were just messing right

Lily Evans: why does everyone think I’m bothered

Dorcas Meadowes: bc u r

Lily Evans: I’m not

Dorcas Meadowes: so our snap streak ending was an accident then?

Dorcas Meadowes: 308 days !!

Dorcas Meadowes: gone !

Lily Evans: I might be slightly bothered

The Daily Prophet (@TheDailyProphet) tweeted: ‘The Marauders’ raise £2 million for charity with their new single

Lily Evans to James Potter: it’s incredible how much you guys have raised

Lily Evans: you should be really proud james

James Potter to Remus Lupin: she called me james

Remus Lupin: who?

James Potter: evans

Remus Lupin: oh

Remus Lupin: OH

James Potter to Lily Evans: thanks lily, it means a lot

Lily Evans: so… you and Dorcas?

James Potter: we’re just mates, it was a bit of fun

James Potter: we both know there’s only one girl I’m interested in

Peter Pettigrew tograham norton for prime minister: controversial idea

Sirius Black: go

Peter Pettigrew: Portugal shouldn’t have won Eurovision

Sirius Black removed Peter Pettigrew from the group

Lily Evans to James Potter: i have a question

James Potter: oooOOOooo ominous

Lily Evans: are you ever not dramatic

James potter: we literally went to stage school

Lily Evans: im just going to ask my question

Lily Evans: why is your twitter handle jampots??

James Potter: why not

James Potter: it’s iconic

Lily Evans: why do I like such a lame person?

James Potter: so you DO like me

James Potter: !!!

James potter: also who even uses lame anymore???

Lily Evans @lilevans tweeted: quick twitter poll; who thinks the word lame is lame

Sirius Black @siriuslyblack tweeted: @lilevans the REAL question is who uses semicolons in tweets ???

Remus Lupin @rjlupin tweeted: @siriuslyblack it’s like you’re allergic to good grammar.

James Potter @jampots tweeted: you’re not helping your case here evans

Lily Evans @lilevans tweeted: @jampots I’ve seen your match attacks collection sit down

Peter Pettigrew @realpete tweeted: @jampots @lilevans ouch burn

James Potter @jampots tweeted: @realpete traitor

Sirius Black to James Potter: I just read this article

James Potter: oh yeah?

Sirius Black: so we’re dating

Sirius Black: and we have a kitten called Beatrix

James Potter: what??

James Potter: it would obvs be called cassiepoiea

Sirius Black: omds cassie for short

Sirius Black: the blacks hv flaws but our names are fabulous

James Potter sent a photo to I miss Minnie telling us what disappointments we are

James Potter: me and sirius bought a kitten !!

Sirius Black: shes so cute !!!

Remus Lupin: we’re not allowed pets in the building….?

Peter Pettigrew: and I’m allergic to cats

James Potter: honestly you two are so selfish

James Potter: we can’t take her back

James Potter: are you seriously going to break her little kitten heart

Sirius Black: we already made her an instagram and everything

Sirius Black to Remus Lupin: ???? hv u seen my jacket

Remus Lupin: would it kill you to use grammar properly for once

Sirius Black: nvm acc i found it

Sirius Black: also rude

Remus Lupin to bring back remus being a werewolf conspiracy theory 2k17: we going out tonight?

Sirius Black: yassss

James Potter: can’t, going for a drink w evans

Sirius Black: oooooOOOOOO

Peter Pettigrew: is that what the kids call it these days

James Potter: seriously?

James Potter: don’t answer that sirius

Sirius Black (@siriuslyblack) tweeted: this is a psa that james puts sisters before misters

James Potter (@jampots) tweeted: @siriuslyblack chill

Peter Pettigrew to 3 decent ppl + jim the traitor: james has a hickey pass it on

Sirius Black: whAT

James Potter: wtf bro

James Potter: how do you even know that

Peter Pettigrew: I came in to bring you tea

James Potter: oh yh

James Potter: thanks for that btw


Sirius Black to Euphemia Potter: james got a hickey from lily

Euphemia Potter: Lily Evans?

Sirius Black: that’s the one

Euphemia Potter: I always thought she was lovely

Euphemia Potter:  Now what’s all this I hear about you stealing remus’s teabags?

Pitiful at Potions||Sirius Black (Part II)

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Word Count: 1011

Warnings: Swearing, slight sexual references

Note: This was requested by @bibliophile221b​. Normally, I’d include the full request, but since this is a series, I don’t want to spoil anything.

Part I

The rest of the evening you tried to come up with excuses to avoid having to spend much of the night with Sirius Black and his group of horrid friends. You tried everything, you mustered up all of your acting skills and took to the hospital wing, attempting to convince Madame Pomfrey that you were seriously ill; she, of course, saw right through you, and you left the wing feeling defeated and shameful. You even went as far as to provoke Professor McGonagall, hoping that she’d give you detention for the evening, but all you got was a scolding and a 2 foot essay.

“Emilyyy,” you whined mere minutes before you and your friend were supposed to head to the Gryffindor Common Room, “I seriously do not want to go.”

“You have to go, (Y/N), I refuse to go alone.”

“You can find someone else to go with you, I’m not going.” You felt bad for going back on your promise to your friend, but you could think of nothing worse than having to spend an entire evening in the same room as Sirius.

“(Y/N), it really would mean a lot to me if you went. I understand you don’t want to go, but as my friend, I would appreciate you being there,” Emily added sincerely, “plus, you’re getting two chocolate frogs as compensation.”

“You’re right, Em,” you gave in reluctantly, “sorry to try to back out on you like that, something about Black just really bothers me.”

“I know, (Y/N), and that is why I appreciate you coming with me so much.” Emily put her arm around you and gave you a friendly squeeze. You both grabbed your books and left the comfort of your own common room. Most non-Gryffindors had never been to the Gryffindor common room, which made it ever more surprising when Emily seemed to know her way there with no need to stop and ask the living portraits for directions. When you finally got up the tower, you found James standing beside a colorful portrait of a lady dressed in the gaudiest pink gown.

“Well,” James began, the ever-cocky sound of his voice annoyed you more than you dared comprehend, “look who decided to show up, it certainly took you long enough to get here.”

“Oh, please, Potter,” Emily rolled her eyes, “we’re here on time, if not early.”

“I suppose you’re right,” he winked at you, which triggered you to fold your arms across your chest, already regretting the decision you made to go, “c’mon in then.” Potter opened the portrait and you followed Emily inside. The common room was warm and inviting, a large fire crackled inside its hearth, and the whole area seemed to give off a golden glow. Near the center-right of the room there was a large couch and a couple armchairs; it was there that the four boys had set up their studying materials. Peter and Remus were sitting on the floor thumbing through textbooks, dog-earing any important pages, and Sirius was lounging nonchalantly on one of the chairs, his legs thrown over one of the arms. On his lap sat a large piece of unfolded parchment, he looked at it once, then looked directly over to where you, Emily, and James had just entered the room. Smiling slightly, he tapped the parchment and shoved it in between the cushions of the chair he was sitting on.

“Hey, girls, glad you could make it.” Remus said, and motioned for you to join them at the table. You sat in one of the chairs, as far away from Sirius and James as you could. Emily settled in on the floor close to the table, setting her books and various studying supplies on the table.

“What are we going to work on first? I’ve had the most difficulty with identifying the different kinds of myrrh and frankincense, but I also want to work on…”

“Woah, woah, slow down there.” James interjected, you felt the heat of anger rise in your face, feeling furious for your friend who was just interrupted.

“James,” Remus began annoyedly, “we’re, well I’m supposed to be helping them, and you might be better off getting some help too.”

“To him, Mooney!” Sirius exlaimed, and swung his legs off the arm of his chair, “I, for one, would like to study productively tonight.” Upon him saying that, Peter snorted incredulously, which warranted him a dirty look from Sirius.

“Wow,” you began, “Sirius Black wanting to be productive, better alert the Daily Prophet.”

“Oi, (Y/N), don’t be so rude to him, you’ll break his heart.” Remus nudged Sirius’ leg.

“I’d be surprised if that tosser even had a heart.” You stated matter-of-factly; although you weren’t thrilled to be there in any sense, you found it relieving to be able to insult Sirius semi-publicly. Emily gave you a look that nearly wiped the smirk off your face, you could tell that she was not happy.

“Oh, (Y/N), he certainly does have a heart,” James explained, leaning over the gap between the couch and Sirius’ chair and pushing him, “in fact, I’d be surprised if his heart was focused on anything but you.”

“Okay, shut the fuck up, mate.” Sirius growled, obviously tense. You rolled your eyes at his reaction to his friend’s joke. Horrible personality and no sense of humor, what a person, you thought sarcastically.

“He was kidding, Sirius,” Peter piped in an attempt to dispel the growing tension.

“Yeah, whatever,” Sirius got up, “I’m feeling tired anyway, I’m going to bed.” He stormed off, and the three remaining boys exchanged looks. You five continued to study, your head filling with information you hadn’t previously known. James seemed uneasy almost the entire time, and well into the evening he announced that he was going to go upstairs and talk to Sirius. After that, only you, Emily, Remus, and Peter were left. Emily and yourself left close to midnight, and had to sneak your way down the tower and through the corridors in order to avoid being caught by the caretaker.


More than 5 different covers, more than 50 languages; same old but pure gold of a story, 20 years of one of the best book that ever written, Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s/Sorcer’s Stone.

Call Me Maybe

Because I’m obnoxious and still can’t stop listening to Carly Rae. I could have added more, more, more - but I pulled back a bit. You’re welcome?

Summary: Lily Evans keeps running into this fit, black-haired, spectacled bloke in the aisles at Tesco. Muggle AU, Modern AU

Read it on FF or AO3

She first noticed him in produce, digging through the courgette box like there was some hidden treasure at the bottom. She grabbed one from the top of the pile, and her hand entering his field of vision startled him, made him set down the half a dozen courgettes he had in his arms, and turn to look at her, cheeks flushed, as she dropped her vegetable into the basket on her arm.

‘Sorry,’ he said, running a now vegetable-free hand through his untidy black hair, 'my housemate is forcing me to be stupidly particular about my courgette selection.’

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Everyone has this headcanon that Sirius was the one completely obsessed with his hair. But whose father invented Sleekeazy’s Hair Potion? Who was the one so bent on keeping his hair looking a certain way that it magically passed on to his son, making it literally impossible for the boy’s hair to be any shorter or lie any flatter.

That’s right: James. Fleamont. Potter.

Fools In Love

Pairing: young!Remus x fem!reader

Warning: fluff,,, maybe even too much???

Description: You were trying on dresses you had for a fancy, outdoor dinner party that night but you were getting really self-conscious of your scars. You got them from being just so damn clumsy. Remus, your close friend, attempts to reassure you that you are still beautiful no matter what. Then, picking out dresses turns into something more.

You walk into the marauder’s room expecting to find Lily hanging out with James, but you only see Remus reading while laying on the sofa. “Where is Lily?” you ask, out of breath from running all the way up there. “Uhhh,” Remus mumbles, looking around him, “Do you really me to tell you?” Your eyebrows go down immediately. “Please tell me she and James aren’t-” “They are,” “Well in that case,” you sigh, “You are my girl for the day, cmon,” “Where are we going?” He asks sitting up and setting his book down on the couch.  “Trying on dresses, of course,”

“Wait for a second, I  am not going to try on a dress… right?” “Not you, you idiot,” you laugh, “You are going to help me decide which looks best on me. Since Lily is doing… that doesn’t matter, but since Lily is gone you are going to have to help me. And don’t be afraid to go hard on me. I can take it,” “Listen, I’m not sure I’m up for the job,” Remus laughs nervously. “Oh,” you mock, in a sarcastic tone, “So apparently Remus Lupin’s masculinity is way too fragile to try on dresses with his good buddy Y?N all of a sudden!” He just looks at you, smiling and his eyebrows up. “What’s it gonna be macho man?” you ask. He lets out a deep sigh. ‘Fine. But stop saying that we are trying on dresses because I am not,” “Oh, okay” you tease, sarcastically. 

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“Creative Insults” Bloopers (Thread here)

with Sirius @askpadfoot, Remus @ask-moons and James & Lily @ask-themaraudersmap

((OOC Becci: I’m so very sorry for the quality. I didn’t have a proper editing tool. So I got a new one (that was supposed to be the full version). I edited and saved and wanted to export the video. Sady the program then said “Sorry, I’m a trial version after all :D”… And I just couldn’t find any other way to save it than using a screencapture program. So now it’s a bit lagging and the quality is a mess. I am so sorry. I just couldn’t redo all of it again… For the next time I will look for another program…))

“Merlin, can’t you two wait until you’re behind closed doors?”

When Victoire and Teddy finally announced their relationship, the entire family went crazy. Aunt Fleur had long been suspicious of the two, and James and Fred had even made a bet with Uncle Ron and Aunt Angelina. 

The pair outside the Burrow.

Taken by Louis.