"You of all of us have no conception of what it means to be Sith"
What on earth are you talking about, Kreia? was my first thought, hearing her say that to Visas.
My second thought was, oh, duh.
There is a stark difference between simply existing in or following the Dark Side of the Force, and being a Sith. We’ve seen various Sith espouse this view in other parts of the EU - Count Dooku springs to mind, if I’m remembering correctly, and his reasoning is the common one: Sith have access to some sort of organised base of Sith knowledge, Sith Force techniques, and so forth, that go beyond “merely” allowing (anger and hate) to fuel one’s Force use and thus make them more powerful.
Kreia though, speaks of something else. Because it’s Kreia, of course, that something else is philosophy, and the way one orients themself to the world around them.
Visas, in her view, has no notion of being Sith because her entire experience with the Dark Side is that of despair, servitude, and wishing to die. And a Sith - a Sith is one who desires power, desires mastery, and uses the Force and those around them with the end goal of their own freedom. Visas has seen none of that in her experience with the Sith, and has in fact experienced the exact opposite.
What’s interesting to me is that Visas becomes more Sith-like, actually, in turning away from her Sith master. Under the Exile’s tutelage, she achieves greater power, she learns to turn bare survival until death into living and believing - their bonding through the Force helps to create her freedom from the trauma that has defined her life since Katarr.
And, though Kreia would likely be unhappy to hear it, Visas’s arc actually forms a sort of mirror of her own. To gain the freedom each desires, she subordinates herself to the Exile, whom she has placed all her trust and love into that the Exile will prove the means to undo that which she believes endangers the entire galaxy.
There are only so many times that you can utter ‘It does not hurt’ before it begins to hurt even more than the hurt. You become enlightened of the feeling of feeling hurt, which is worse, I am certain, than the existent hurt.
Three years ago we met on this day. I recall most of that day. How we met in this exact spot. From the moment we spoke to each other I knew that you were someone I wanted to keep in my life. We talked none stop about the southwest how your visits had gone the times you were there. We spoke about wine and how your mother loves wine. Then the breeze was getting cold, we walked for a few minutes I waited outside for you with your bike while you were getting coffee. That afternoon changed so much. And it is not fair that only after a year you were snatched from me from everyone who loves you. I just hope that I had spoken then, when you could hear me. Though things can’t be changed such as changing the fact that I remained silent. I will always love you, because you brought so much joy into my life. I love you.
- El Jac
“When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure.” - Unknown