They long to be attached, to be in relationships with others, and to receive affirmation, acknowledgement and approval of which they were deprived. However this longing evokes an intense anxiety about being in danger of being appropriated, used and discarded as they were by their original caretakers. The only way to control their anxiety, to feel safe is to withdraw internally as well externally.
James F. Masterson & Ralph Klein
Disorders of the Self: New Therapeutic Horizons: The Masterson Approach