Okay, there’s lots of things on this I would usually correct, but I left this for so long that, well, sod it I can’t be arsed to change it, so I’m leaving it messy! Yeah um, so it’s Sam Heughan as the character Jamie Fraser from the series Outlander. Damn fine actor and bloke!
By the way, I don’t rightly know what to do with this now so if anyone has a decent offer, you have my attention! If not then I can think of worse things to have to find a place for…
I’ve been sitting on this one for a little while debating on whether or not to post it and today’s 25 Days of Outlander fits it perfect! My favorite place is Fraser’s Ridge. That’s where Jamie and Claire have the most time together. They have a family, all their own, there, and for the most part, happy memories.
“Acchh. Try to stress the chhh sound in the back of your throat.” Jamie— No, DA was explaining. I had been picking up on Gaelic faster than he had expected. The joy on his face when I asked for the lessons and the ever growing smile as he teaches me his native tongue makes me want to make it perfect for him. I can tell Da enjoys having the one on one time with me, even if it is still slightly awkward when mamma isn’t around. His eyes, the same startlingly deep blue as my own, hold a wariness that shouldn’t be there. How do I show him that I want to get to know him? That I want to understand more fully what happened to cause him to abandon us? For three days I have been trying to work up the nerve to ask him to tell me his side of the story, perhaps even ask about the older sister I never got to know. “Bree, are ye even listenin’ lass?” I jolted hearing his voice and I could feel the heat of my cheeks starting to flush. “Ah, yes and no, sorry Da.” He made a guttural noise that flowed all to well with the words he had been teaching me. “Ye look like your mother when she’s trying to work out a new potion in that surgery of hers. What’s on your mind, mo chroí?” Looking down at my lap I watched as my left hand tapped an unsteady rhythm against my thigh, “I—I wanted to ask you why you left us? Mamma and I, why did you go fight and send us away?” “Surely your mam has told ye why?” Nodding, “She has, but I want to know your side of the story.” Looking up, I saw him shift uneasily from side to side all while his right hand tapped nervously on his thigh as well— huh, guess I know where that habit comes from now. Clearing his throat a few times he looked me in the eye, “Are ye sure ye want to hear this? It’s not a pleasant story.” “I do. I want to know your story. Maybe we could make this our thing? After studying Gaelic or working together we take the time to tell each other one story from our past.” With the size and brightness of the smile that covered his face it’s no wonder mamma loses speech when she’s with him. “Aye lass, that is something we can do.” Releasing a breath he made himself more comfortable and motioned for me to do the same. “Ye ken the story of how your mam and I set out to change the future and prevent the battle of Culloden?” Seeing me nod he continued, “Weel in Paris, right after we lost your sister, I could tell that what we were not going to win the battle we’d started, Prince Tearloch could no more be swayed than the boulder ye are sitting on. I hoped something we’d done or said would have persuaded him to stop his notion for the crown, but…” he shrugged, “the edict of his intentions came while we were in Lallybroch, finally building a peaceful life together and hoping for another child.” He smiled at me so sincerely and so full of love that I could tell he always wanted me, even though he never got to see me grow, he wanted me. He loved me before he knew of me. “The early battles and campaigning were draining. I knew a price would be on my head if I survived the fight and what Claire had said came true. I needed a plan to get her to safety. I couldna live with myself if something were to happen to her because her name was tied to mine. Showing your mam love has always been an effortless task and that entire dark, starving, dirty splotch on our history I made sure she felt loved and wanted. She was willing to die with me— die for me, if it came to that.” Tears filled his eyes as he further delved into the love he shares with my mother. “One day close to a month before the date Claire had given me for the Battle of Culloden, I counted, counted again, and recounted for good measure the days since your mam’s last courses. She was with bairn. Ye, mo iníon álainn. When the realization that I was going to be a father again I wept. I prayed and thanked God for ye, and I promised I’d do anythin’ I could to keep ye safe and make sure your mam had the child she was meant to have. I couldna let her sacrifice herself when she had a reason to keep going. I kept ye a secret from Claire, watching her when she wasna looking, waiting to see when she’d ken the knowledge herself. Days passed and Culloden was looming over our heads. Still your mam hadna figured out she was carrying ye. Fear for the two of ye weighed on me night and day, Claire thought it was running the regiment and preparing for battle—preparing to die. Aye, dying was part of it, who would take care of ye when I was gone? Where would ye go to have a safe life? Not to Lallybroch, I’d be lucky if my whole family wasna hung for my treason. Nowhere in my Scotland was safe, but there was somewhere safe in Scotland.” “The stones.” My face paled remembering the roar of screams and the searing pain when traveling through them. “Aye, the stones. I could send ye both back to Claire’s future time, back to a place where there isna a war, and a place where a man would be there to take care of ye. Sending Claire back ripped my soul apart and I had no life without her, without the bairn she carried. I went onto that battlefield trying to die. I wanted someone to run me through or put a bullet in my no-longer beating heart, quick and easy.” Da’s face was glistening with the tears he’d shed during his retelling. Both of his hands were clinched tight on his knees, as if they were keeping him from springing up and running from the memory he trudged through. “I sent ye away to live, to have a life I couldna give ye, but I never left ye. I loved ye the moment I ken ye were there and I’ll love ye even after I die.” Not being able to stand it any longer, I jumped up from my spot on the boulder and crashed into his chest, hugging him tight to me. “Is breá liom tú da.” I whispered into his chest while tears of my own pricked my eyes. “I love ye too, álainn.” Da whispered back hugging me just as fiercely back. “Tomorrow ye will tell me what you thought of your mother coming back to find me and your journey.” I simply nodded against his chest never wanting to let go.