1. You either grow apart or together.

2. Smile. Lots. If not for yourself, for them.

3. A good sense of humour is a powerful characteristic. A great sense of humour is a powerful aphrodisiac.

4. Love begins with the soul through the eyes. Look each other in the eyes.

5. Be honest with yourself first and then share that honesty with them.

6. Truthfully, there is no such thing as “yours” or “mine,” there is only ours.

7. At each moment there’s an energy exchange occurring. A person is either consuming another’s energy like an insatiable black hole, or, a person is supplying energy like an abundant sun. Recognise which you have been doing.

8. Physical distance often mimics the distance of our mind or hearts on that instance. If you are fortunate enough to be in the same room as your partner, use plenty of hugs and/or kisses to bridge the gap between one another.

9. You will be hurt – that’s inevitable – but it’s what you do with the pain that counts. Will you let it fester and turn into anger or loathing, or will you transmute it into love and nurturing so that the pain does not occur again?

10. You can’t read minds. Do not assume you know exactly what they meant.

11. Say it. Even if your hands tremble, even if your heart beats louder than your mouth speaks, even if you are scared, furthermore, especially when you’re scared! Say it.

12. You are learning to live with another person; to exist with another takes time. Be patient, you will both get used to sharing yourselves with one another.

13. You are different people. It is only natural that you dislike certain things about one another, that’s fine, don’t focus on the negatives. Focus on which traits made you love in the first place and be reminded of why it is you care for that person.

14. Love is not always mad and passionate, nor is it always mundane and mediocre. Sometimes love is simply knowing and showing you want no one else.

15. Although I had learnt these things through loving you, I know now that some of these words can help in any of our relationships; romantic or otherwise, family and friends alike.

—  Fifteen wisdoms I discovered, through loving you. | jamel duane alatise