jam-it-up!

2

Hey there, folks. It’s been a while.

My PC broke down some 20 days ago and I went through some troubles to replace it. In short, my new PC got lost in the mail and I had to make tons of phone calls and shit to actually get it to ship to me.

Anyway now I’m back and I can’t wait to get back to work! Unfortunately I won’t be able to participate to Monster Jam (I basically gave up on the idea since I wasn’t sure when I’d get my new PC), but I’ll keep working on Comfy Alchemist. 

For starters I wanted to work on the look of the NPCs, since the player character (being 9-10 years old) is not a good way to measure that. I’m still not completely sure about the proportions: on one had I want the player to feel small and young, but I don’t want to make the witch look like a toddler. (Note that this particular NPC is placeholder, I put together a quick and rough texture to see how it would look in the game’s style) 

I think I’m getting closer to the right proportions (top -> before, bottom -> after) , but I’m still not totally sure. What do you all think?

Obviously, while he’s distracted with his own monologue, you can throw everything you have at him and kill him. But the fastest, most surefire way to do the job is with an item most players ignore: the torch. It’s nothing but a simple torch Snake used earlier to find his way out of a cave, but if you jam it up The Fear’s ass, he goes up like a 1977 Ford Pinto.

Technically, the torch can burn any of Snake’s enemies, but most of them are smart enough to go somewhere else when you start poking them with flaming sticks. The programmers either forgot or didn’t bother to teach this trick to The Fear. He has no idea how to react to a colon-first fireball attack, so he will stand there and let the fire devour him. Because what maniac game developer could have foreseen players doing anything this strange?

Any player who spent an hour pumping bullets into The Fear in a straight gunfight knows he’s absurdly tough, so it takes forever for the fire to finish him off. Luckily, he will never figure out what’s going on, so sit back, relax, and enjoy the smell of roasting butthole.

6 Ways To Beat Game Bosses That The Designers Didn’t Intend

Bitty set the pie in the oven, made sure the timer was set and then continued telling his long-winded story to Jack, who was sitting at the kitchen table, avidly listening with his chin resting on his arms folded on the table. 

Bitty turned to the sink as he spoke and began to do the dishes, “-and then there was this whole to do about the store-bought jam at the bake sale and Moo Maw said to Mrs. Jameson, who lives one street over, that she can take her store-bought jam and shove it up her-”

“I think we should get married.” 

The pot Bitty had been holding fell into the sink and caused a wave of soapy water to splash onto Bitty’s front, and Bitty staggered to the side, clutching his heart and holding the counter for support. When he finally found his voice again he scolded, “Jack Zimmermann are you trying to give me a heart attack?!”

But Jack had that look on his face, the one he has when he’s lining up the puck, or the one he has after he’s just got back from a 10 mile run, the one he had before he kissed Bitty for the first time.

“We’re practically married already anyway. I think we should make it official.” Jack said, still not taking his eyes off Bitty.

Bitty spluttered for something to say, “Jack - we’ve - we’re - I don’t think - We’ve only been dating for two years. You’ve only been out for 6 months!”

“So? Timing couldn’t be better.” Jack said, a small smirk forming on his face.

BItty sinks into a chair across from Jack. “Jack I swear if this is some sort of joke, I don’t get it.”

“I’m not joking. And this isn’t a proposal by the way. But that’s coming.” Jack nodded.

“Jack!” Bitty squawked, “I haven’t even graduated yet!?”

Jack got up from the table and pressed a small kiss onto Bitty’s temple, then walked to the door of the kitchen. “Fiancé has a nice ring to it eh?” Jack said with a smirk over his shoulder.

He didn’t see, but rather heard, Bitty’s muffled squeak as he headed up the stairs with a blinding smile on his face.

Back in the kitchen, Bitty’s face was buried in his hands, but he was grinning ear to ear. “This boy.” He muttered.

American Dickwood
This little dick is hard to see because he’s colored like leaf litter. That’s ok, though, because aside from its name, this woodcock is hardly worth mentioning. It’s got a small fat body, short legs, and a big fat head. The eyes are set way too far back, making this bird look extra stupid. Probably so it can see while it has its weird flexible bill jammed into the ground right up to its face trying to find worms. Color: dirt 

Fact: The American woodcock is colloquially referred to as a “timberdoodle”. People also call it a “bogsucker”, “mudsnipe”, or “Labrador steamer”. Nobody respects this bird.

shadow-readernwriter  asked:

An AU where Magnjs is a famous beauty blogger on YouTube. Alec sometimes makes appearances in his videos, and Magnus's fans love it when he's there.

oooo nice ok lets do this

  • magnus is a pro at social media
  • he does the full works, twitter, instagram, snapchat, whatever’s going, and he’s amazing at interacting with his fans and making them feel loved and special
  • but it all started a few years ago with youtube, when magnus got absolutely sick and tired of people being all ‘men don’t wear makeup!!!!’ and his first video was basically a fuck you on how to do the manliest manly eyeliner and smoky eye ever
  • only surprise it was actually a really good tutorial underneath the salt and bitterness
  • so he kind of kept going??? themed looks for halloween and festive and seasonal things and going out looks and advice for what products to use when and stuff
  • actually the advice part and helping people is his favourite part
  • but anyway in the space of a few years magnus goes from a broke, hard working student to a professional youtuber
  • which his poor single mother still doesn’t understand, is that even a real career magnus?
  • anyway enter stage left the lightwoods
  • i’m on a music jam so surprise!!! they’re musicians in a band
  • jace plays keys, izzy sings and alec plays bass
  • they really needed a guitarist and a drummer which is where simon and maia came in
  • alec is sick of his bandmates hooking up
  • but that’s not part of this story so!!!!!!!!!
  • izzy and jace are the real front-people of the band, and their label has this great idea to get them more exposure on social media
  • they put a deal through magnus + his team (cat, ragnor & raphael) of doing a series of collab videos
  • magnus does a few makeovers and tutorials and things for the band
  • whilst the band teaches magnus some instruments and little chill bts things like that
  • magnus also styles their new music video for their latest song, so it’s all good!!!
  • now, magnus doesn’t really know the band that well but when he gets their pictures hooo boy can he not wait to makeover tall dark and handsome
  • that collab video is as gold as you would expect
  • alec not that comfortable with makeup in general but he’s used to stage makeup by now so he doesn’t look like a pale ass ghost at a gig
  • magnus just jams it up a little without going too overboard, nothing alec’s uncomfortable with
  • (later he’ll admit he actually really appreciates eyeliner….. much, much later)
  • and then when magnus arrives for music lessons, he seems to take a very sudden and passionate interest in bass guitar
  • once the video series is done, magnus is devastated at the thought of not seeing this gorgeous creature again
  • but izzy kinda sets them up on a date and surprise!!!! they end up dating for real
  • alec’s basically allergic to pr and would have absolutely no hopes of a career if it wasn’t for izzy and jace, so he barely even maintains an account
  • but magnus starts posting all these cheesy couples photos and the internet explodes
  • alec writes magnus songs and he posts them online as previews
  • magnus does one of those ‘my boyfriend does my makeup’ vids, only it’s adorable because alec actually takes an interest in what magnus does, so he does pretty well at getting all the right things on in the right order even if his eyeliner is a little… shaky
  • honestly can you imagine none of us would survive
  • anyway yeah they combust the internet with the cute, the end

send me an au and i’ll expand on it!

5

The Swedish K and the Smith & Wesson M76

Invented by Gunnar Johnsson in 1945, the Carl Gustav M/45, AKA the “Swedish K” was a Swedish submachine gun prized for its incredible reliability and ruggedness. The Swedish K utilized the best design principles and features from various successful World War II designs such as the Russian PPsh 41, the German MP40, and the British Sten. As well as its ruggedness, the Swedish K noted for its simplicity and economy.  Produced mainly from stamped metal and a 7.45lbs was also very light and compact, making it ideal for close quarters combat. It utilized a 36 round double stack magazine, the highest capacity magazine available at the time short of drum mags. Firing from an open bolt it had a cyclic firing rate of around 600 rounds per minute.  While fully automatic only, it was very easy to pull the trigger without cycling the next round in order to achieve semi auto fire. Recoil was very modest, and could be easily managed with a foldout metal stock. By far the Swedish K’s greatest feature was its incredible reliability. Neither water, nor sand, nor dust, nor temperature extremes could jam up the works of the K. To aid in reliability, the K featured an interesting magazine design in which the rear of the mag was wider than the front, creating some extra room in the magazine allowing the cartridges to feed more efficiently without being hindered by particulates. 

The Swedish K was adopted by the Swedish military and served in that capacity until the mid 1990′s. However the K was originally intended as an export arm, being exported for used by Algeria, Estonia, Indonesia, Ireland, Latvia, and Paraguay. An licensed copy was also produced by Egypt. Perhaps the most popular used was the United States. Upon word that the K was resistance to sand and could operate after being submerged in water, the K became popular among special forces in Vietnam, especially the newly created Navy SEALs. In 1966 Sweden embargo arms sales to the United States as a result over the Swedish government’s disapproval of the Vietnam War. The American’s said “be damned” and created their own clone, produced between 1967 and 1974 by Smith & Wesson and called the M76. Swedish production of the K continued until 1964 and the Egyptians ended production in 1970. Around 300,000 were produced.

Being There for You

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Word Count: 2,131

Warnings: angst, smut, grief sex, rough sex

Summary: Set after 1.01 “Pilot” - Sam’s grieving the loss of Jess, and as always, you’re there for him.

Leave a comment or send a message - feedback is always welcome!

The blue Gatorade hit the bottom of the vending machine, loud enough that you thought it might have woken everyone in the row of motel rooms. You grabbed that, then reached into the machine next to it, grabbing the bag of Sweet Tarts. Your baggy sweats bunched around your ankles, bare feet chilled on the rough concrete.

You were passing Sam’s room when you heard it. The loud, wall-shuddering BANG that reached your ears through the heavy wooden door.

It had been a month since Jessica passed away. Sam told you and Dean repeatedly that he was okay, that he was handing it, but you knew what Dean didn’t. Dean was too distracted by the prospect of tracking down Azazel after over twenty years of waiting to realize just how deep in his grief Sam really was.

Keep reading

Waking up in the mornings

Oikawa

  • Up by 4 AM every day to do his hair and go on a jog
  • “An athlete can only be good as his diet lets him be!”
  • No, seriously, he eats almost enough food for the entire Miyagi prefecture every single morning and it’s the most disgusting thing anyone’s ever seen
  • Fuck him, he’s a morning person

Iwaizumi

  • Grumbles as he forces himself out of bed at 5 to go jogging with Oikawa with sheer willpower
  • Likes to spend his breakfast sipping coffee and reading whatever catches his interest
  • His favorite breakfast meal includes a bowl of rice, two fried eggs, and fish
  • Not a morning person, but 8:30 to him is the regular person’s 10:30 so it’s chill

Hanamaki

  • Is an absolute force of bitter death and destruction until he gets a cup of coffee into him
  • Once at the Seijoh Sleepover™, Oikawa hid Makki’s coffee grounds and was consequentially forced onto the ground in a strangle hold until they were given back to him
  • He can function as a human being and deal with people’s (Oikawa’s) shit much better after a cup of coffee as black as his soul
  • Favorite breakfast meal includes toast with sides of butter and jam, boiled eggs, and juice

Matsukawa

  • Wakes up almost-late every day
  • Laziest motherfucker on this planet #2
  • Would eat a piece of paper for breakfast and not care in the least
  • His tongue is as dead as Squidward’s hopes and dreams
  • Coffee doesn’t really affect him so he has to suffer through the drowsiness on his own, rip

Yahaba

  • Is the most adorable thing ever waking up
  • Makes tiny yawning and grumbling noises for the first 15-20 minutes of consciousness and is extremely embarrassed that everyone says its the cutest thing in the world
  • Has and will fight you for all the meat on the table during breakfast
  • @ the Seijoh Sleepover™, he stared at Matsun with such intensity that he handed over the last octopus sausage over without argument

Kyotani

  • Will punch you if you try to talk to him when he wakes up
  • Glares at people like they murdered his entire family
  • Yahaba’s cutesy act leaves him speechless and red in the face
  • Really fucking loves rice
  • Usually eats convenience store crap for breakfast so he get’s really excited when there’s actual rice and shit

Watari

  • “He’s probably a monster when he wakes up”
  • “There’s no way someone can be so happy all the time, after all”
  • Rises with a smile so bright it’s like Jesus blessed his teeth
  • Wakes up and greets the day with a warm “Good morning! Wow, I slept so great last night!”
  • #ActualChildofGoodness2k16
  • Will eat anything and everything and comment on how delicious it is, and then offer to do the dishes
  • Hanamaki once threatened to slap him for being too happy

Kindaichi

  • Goes to sleep at a responsible time
  • Wakes up blinking and lethargic for three minutes
  • Afterwards is completely normal
  • Loves greasy food in the morning

Kunimi

  • Laziest motherfucker on this planet #1
  • Didn’t go to sleep last night until 5 AM
  • Favorite breakfast items include poptarts, commercial cereal, extra sugary coffee, and a jar of melted salt caramel, i.e. enough sugar to kill a medium sized water buffalo
  • Is a literal zombie until he gets to school, falls asleep through his first three classes, and then starts functioning normally around lunch time

A typical morning for you consisted of you rolling out of bed at around 9, stumbling to the bathroom to do your business, give your face a quick rinse and your teeth a quick brush, and then pad downstairs slowly to see what you could nibble on for breakfast. Whenever Harry was around, you’d wake up to smell of bacon and the sound of crackling. However, when Harry had to leave home for a couple months, you’d find that two slices of toast with jam on top filled you up just fine. 

This morning, you woke up feeling particularly rejuvenated. You flipped over onto Harry’s side, your arm tucked underneath his pillow as you snuggled up to it. It still smelled like him even if the last time he was here was about two and a half months ago. Odd… The ‘Harry’ smell seemed a lot stronger than usual. You missed Harry terribly when he had to go off, but you knew what you had signed up for when Harry first asked you to be his girlfriend. So, really - You couldn’t complain. You could whine, but you couldn’t complain. 

As you rolled up the blinds, you couldn’t help but notice how pretty it looked outside. The sun was peeking out from behind a nest of clouds, the trees were looking very green and lush, and the rose bushes you had been tending to looked as rosy as ever! Maybe today was going to be a good day! You had the whole house to yourself and you couldn’t wait to unwind on the couch with a bowl of cereal and your eyes glued to the TV screen. 

You hummed to yourself as you padded down the stairs, your brows furrowing at the sight of the remote control sitting on the arm of the couch rather than its usual place on the coffee table. You’d watched TV last night, maybe you just left it on the arm? 

“Silly me.” You snorted, picking it up and setting it down on the table. Walking into the kitchen, you wondered to yourself what kind of cereal you were in the mood for today. Cinnamon toast crunch? Or maybe those tiny chocolate chip cookies? Honey coated cornflakes didn’t sound half bad either. What if you mixed all three? Iconic, that’s what I am. 

“Mornin’, love.” As you made your way over to the cupboards, you glanced over towards the direction of the fridge to see Harry snacking on something. 

“Morning.” You smiled, rummaging through the cupboards to find all three of your- Wait. “What the hell??” You whipped around, your eyes popping open at the sight of your beanie-sweater-wearing, ring-bearing boyfriend casually standing by the fridge as if he hadn’t just disappeared for nearly three months. 

“I finished the cornflakes, I’ll pick up a new box later.” Harry murmured through a mouthful of food, dusting his hands off. There was a moment in which the two of you were just staring at each other, you were still in shock, and Harry was eyeing the shirt (his shirt) you were wearing before looking up at you with his dopey smile. “Aren’t yeh gonna come and gimme a kiss? ‘ve been gone for a hot minute.” 

“Oh my god!” You couldn’t help but squeal before you found yourself dashing over to Harry, practically tackling him in a hug before peppering his face with light kisses. “What are you doing here?” You pulled away, pressing your hands against his chest gently as you felt his arms wrap around your waist. (His arms had gotten a lot beefier, you had noticed. And his chest was definitely more muscle-y.)  

“I live here, Y/N. I bought this house for us.” Harry teased, reaching up to tuck a strand of loose hair behind your ear. 

“You know what I mean…” 

“I’m done.” He said simply, leaning in to give you a sweet kiss. 

“You’re done?” You asked softly, your lips parting in genuine shock. After so many months of Harry working his butt off and never having any time for you… He was done? 

“Mhm. I don’ have to travel anywhere… I’ll be working from home. Didn’t like having to abandon you for a couple months at a time.” He pouted, “Plus, I know for a fact you never eat healthy when I’m not around.” 

“It’s not my fault Panda Express is a ten-minute walk away from us.” You laughed lightly, shrugging as you did so. “I’m just… You’re home.” You whispered, Harry nodding before giving you another quick kiss. 

“Now, c’mon. We’ve got a lot of catching up to do! I’d like to see you in that pretty little lingerie set in real life as opposed to on my screen.” 

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gif isn’t mine!