A sinner you would call me
But I’m human
I do good
I do wrong
It’s in my nature
Don’t claim to know the unknown
Cause the unkown isn’t known
Seen foolish in your judgmental eyes
Because I don’t accept your foolish Ancient man made claims
And the only faith I have is in myself
You look at me in disgust cause you
Want me to conform
Believe and be like everyone else.
In an universe so vast
I’d rather have a mind opened by Wonder than one closed by belief
Sorry it’s just me being myself
—  J.Alfred “Anti-Religious”
Parents thought him knowledge was the key
So he embrace it.
Using everyday he drew breath to learn something new
Living in a urban city
But his accent was different from his peers
Pronouncing every syllable in each english word correctly
Shunning ebonics
Acting white
His peers would say
Raising his hand to every question in every class knowing every answer
Acting white
Burying his face in a wide variety of literature exercising his mind
Acting white
Not sharing the same interest as most of his peers
Acting white
As if having black skin and being educated is acting white.
What’s acting black
Being stupid?
—  J.Alfred “Acting White”
The Return Of My Past (2011 out of the vault Ima finish it one day)

The Return Of My Past

“Get the fuck on the floor” Al yelled with 9mm aimed at Jeff’s head.
“Boss gave you a month to get the money and your bitch ass still ain’t got it” Al screamed.
“Please give me a couple more days I’ll get the money” Jeff yelled.
He laughed
“Where the fuck are you gonna get fifty thousands dollars in a couple days.”
“Trust me I’ll have the money, please just give me a couple more days”. Jeff looked into his wife eyes and seen the tears dripping down her cheeks. A pregnant women shouldn’t be going through this shit. The second man with the shotgun aimed it right at Asia’s pregnant stomach.
“Yo Al why don’t we just take the man’s unborn child , cause he must think boss is playing with his money” Jay uttered.
Jay then cocked his shotgun.
“No” Jeff yelled.
Tears started pouring out Jeff’s eyes uncontrollably.
“Please, please, I’ll get the money please.”
Al then put the 9mm gun into Jeff’s mouth while he pleaded.
“Man the fuck up and stop crying, you knew what you was getting yourself into when you loaned that money” Al said.
Al pulled the gun out of Jeff’s mouth and hit him across the face with it. “Now this is the last warning , you got till Friday to pay up or Jay and I gonna comeback here raped your wife and then hang her while you watch” Al said.
Al struck Jeff across the face again. He then whispered in Jeff’s ear
“If it wasn’t for the bosses wishes of keeping you alive I would have put a bullet between your eyes coward.” Al stood up and spit right in Jeff’s face.
“Don’t know what boss ever seen in you, Jay lets go” Al yelled.
” Wait I want her to give me a little kiss.”
Jay aimed the shotgun to Asia’s face and yelled
“Open your mouth baby I wanna kiss you like the French.”
Asia turned and looked at Jeff crying.
“Why the fuck you looking at him for my lips are up here” Jay said.
She opened her mouth and Jay bended down and stuck his tongue down her throat. He then looked at Jeff and said ” She a great kisser”.
He then stood up and started unzipping his pants
“Now let’s see if this pregnant bitch could suck a dick!”
Right before Jay could pull out his dick Asia threw a right hook hitting Jay between his testicles.
“Bitch” he yelled.
Jay fell to the ground.
“Jay get the fuck up I’m done playing with these two” Al said. Jay slowly stood up then aimed his gun at Asia stomach and fired.
“I never like babies ” Jay yelled.
Jeff screamed
But it was to late he killed Asia and the unborn child.
“What the fuck you do that for” Al said.
“Bitch tried to take my balls off” Jay said.
“You bastard you kill them”Jeff screamed. The anger Jeff had was like one he never felt. He got up on his feet and charged towards where Jay stood. Jay was prepared and swung the shotgun right at Jeff’s head.
“Who the fuck said you could get up” Al said. They both started laughing. Al open the front door and said
Jay followed Al out the door and started laughing saying
“You better called the medics.”
They finally left so Jeff got up and rushed to the phone and called 911. “I need some help quick” Jeff cried. “Calm down what seems to be the problem” the 911 operator said. “They shot her please hurry they shot her” Jeff replied.
“Where are you located” the 911 operator asked.
“30 Maple Ave hurry “Jeff yelled.
“The officers are on their way” the 911 operator said.
Jeff hanged up the phone and turned to where Asia laid and the sight of her lifeless body brought Jeff pain and anger. Jeff’s past came back to haunt him. A past he tried so hard to run away from.