Jalex - The Lie That Keeps Us Going (One-Shot)

Jack watched Alex working from his bunk across from Alex’s. No one else in the band stressed like this during tour, but Alex seemed to stress enough for all of them. While the rest of them were sleeping, drinking, partying, and just hanging out, Alex was usually trying to write or plan future things. Alex still went out and had fun but not as much as he should, in Jack’s opinion. Jack respected his determination, but he wished his best friend would take more time off. Right now, Alex had his headphones in and was working on GarageBand again, like he had been for the past few hours.

“Almost done?” Jack asked, even though he knew the answer. Alex didn’t look up, but he took one headphone out, which was more than Jack usually got when Alex was in these moods.

“No. I got the verse done, but…” He sighed and rubbed his eyes, which were red from looking at the screen for too long. “This chorus is killing me. I’ve got the music written, but I can’t come up with any lyrics that match.”

Jack sat up. “Have you looked through your journal? You’ve got tons of lyrics written in there.”

“I tried that. Nothing fits.”

Jack got up and sat next to Alex on his bunk to see what he was doing. “Can I hear what you have?”

“It isn’t any good.”

Jack knew that wasn’t true. Alex was a lot of things, but untalented wasn’t one of them. “You’re just being hard on yourself. It’s probably dope.”

Alex shrugged and handed the computer over to Jack. Jack put the headphones on and pressed play. The music was all electronic now because they hadn’t recorded anything yet but he could hear how it would sound with real instruments and Alex’s amazing vocals. The intro was simple but then increased and layered as it progressed, then just before the chorus it got loud and had an amazing rythm. It was really catchy even without proper production and once they actually recorded it, Jack could tell it would be stuck in his head forever. He took the headphones off and put them down, smiling.

“Dude, that’s fucking awesome.”

Alex’s face lit up. “Really?”

“Yeah, totally. It’s great. Will you take a break now?” He asked hopefully.

Alex sighed and put the headphones back on. “I can’t. I need to finish this today, so I don’t forget.”

Jack doubted he could talk Alex out of it because he was a stubborn little bastard, but he seriously needed to take a break. “I’ll remind you later. Please?”

Alex thought for a second but shook his head nevertheless. “I really should finish up first. We can go out for a drink or something after.”

Jack had heard that excuse a thousand times and it wasn’t as if Alex didn’t follow through, but he was never himself when they went out like that. Someone who didn’t know Alex might think he was perfectly fine and happy, but Jack knew that the way he tapped his foot and messed with his hair meant he was stressed and not very happy to be there. The worst part was that Jack just couldn’t help, because he wasn’t nearly talented enough to take Alex’s work for him, so Alex was left to write all of their music and plan their tours and stress over it.

“Why not now?”

Alex gestured to the computer and gave Jack a pleading look. “I’m working,”

“You’ve been working all day though,” he protested. “Just a quick break?”

“No, Jack, not today.” Alex snapped.

Jack fell silent. He didn’t want to make his friend legitimately angry. He watched as Alex’s face softened in remorse like it always did after he lashed out. Alex didn’t have a mean bone in his body. They didn’t say anything again after that though, and maybe that was for the best. Jack watched Alex work on his music. There was something interesting about how he picked each note and word like they each had a special, irreplaceable meaning to him. It wasn’t just sounds to him, it was far more than that, and Jack knew he’d never be able to comprehend the way Alex saw their music.

“Ten minutes?” Jack asked after a while when Alex seemed to be really stuck again.

Alex sighed and clicked a few more buttons on his computer. Was he really just going to ignore him and work? Alex got caught up in work a lot but that was insane. Before Jack’s thoughts could get too far, though, Alex closed the laptop.

“Ten minutes. What are we doing?”

Jack was caught off guard because he hadn’t expected that to actually work. “Oh, um, we could… Watch a movie?”

Alex raised an eyebrow. “In ten minutes?”

“Oh,” Jack said, feeling like an idiot. He really didn’t want to spend the whole ten minutes gibbering stupidly. “Just lay down?”

Alex scoffed because, admittedly, it was a pretty lame idea, but what else could they do on a bus in ten minutes? Jack laid down on one side of Alex’s bunk and expected him to lay on the other side, still a good six or seven inches apart, but instead Alex laid down directly beside him, barely even a few centimeters apart.

“Oh,” Jack said again. “Hi?”

Wow, he really sounded like an idiot now.

Alex rolled his eyes. “Hi, stupid. First you want me to lay with you, then you act weird when I do?”

“Something like that, yeah. You’re just… Really close.”

Alex moved closer for the sole purpose of pissing Jack off, until their bodies were pressed together. “Better?”

Jack didn’t reply as he pulled his head back a little to keep his face away from Alex’s. Not that he hadn’t kissed Alex before, but it had always been because they were either high off adrenaline or alcohol - usually both. They’d never kissed just for the hell of it, and Jack didn’t know if he wanted them too. His feelings for Alex were confusing. He felt something for him - there was no denying that - but he couldn’t tell if that was just because Alex was his best friend for his whole life, or if it was something more.

“Why so quiet?” Alex persisted, leaning closer so their lips were almost touching.

Jack was about to pull away, or say something - or do anything , really - but then Alex was kissing him, and holy shit, he was really kissing him. It wasn’t like any of their previous kisses, this felt real. He was kissing his best friend - holy shit - and the worst part was that he liked it. No, he loved it. Alex’s body fit with his perfectly and the kiss felt oddly natural and familiar.

Jack expected Alex to pull away and start laughing at any second, but he didn’t. Minutes ticked by, and the two men were still tangled together, neither wanting the moment to end. Jack’s arms were around Alex, holding him close, and Alex’s were around Jack. They both knew that this wasn’t just a drunk, spur-of-the-moment kind of kiss. Somehow, they could feel what the other was thinking, and when they eventually pulled away, the previous awkward feeling was gone.

“So,” Jack said, smiling. “That happened.”

“It did.” Alex nodded. “Does this change things?”

“Do you want it to?”

Alex shrugged. “I don’t know… I don’t know if I really liked you in that way before, but I definitely do now, so…”

Jack could tell Alex was struggling with the decision and he felt bad. “We could try it, and if it doesn’t work, then we go back to just friends. How does that sound?”

Alex kissed him again and Jack hoped that meant yes, but he couldn’t be sure. Alex was impulsive at best, though most would call him just damn reckless. Knowing Alex, this could easily be a one time thing that never happens again, and Jack didn’t want that.

Alex pulled away again - Jack didn’t have the heart to end it - and grinned like this was no big deal to him. “How many minutes has it been?”

Jack shrugged and leaned in to kiss Alex again. He half expected him to pull away, but he didn’t. This counted as their third real kiss to Jack. It probably didn’t count as anything to Alex, but he pushed those thoughts aside. He was kissing Alex, and that was what mattered; and Alex wasn’t working so hard anymore.

***

Jack wasn’t sure exactly how long they must have been like that; kissing, cuddling, and doing just about everything besides talking about what was happening. Jack decided then that he was okay with that; not happy about it, but okay. Alex never was his and probably never would be, but this was something similar at least. Like this, Jack could pretend things were normal; like the man he was kissing was his boyfriend and not just his best friend who was bored and horny. He could live with this for now.


For more one-shots by @holding-on-to-emmy and @that-fangirl-becca click this link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/7221463/chapters/16390108