When you were back racing through the Miranda Rights, I just looked over at you and thought, “You’re awesome. And you’re good at doing things." I mean, sure, I’ll miss towel, but your happiness is worth more than winning some stupid bet.
Jake most def tells Doug Judy when he finds out he’s gonna be a father
Doug sends Jake and Amy baby gifts when the baby arrives
“Maybe Doug Judy can babysit some time-” “no”
Little Baby Peraltiago usually calls him “Uncle Judy” but calls him “Uncle Bandit” once and Jake can’t stop laughing
Amy is at first reluctant to have her baby around a criminal but Doug eventually grows on her (especially when she remembers the Cruise)
“I could teach the baby how to drive. How to jack a car. How to evade the po-po-” “no”
Doug buys them a getaway for a week for the three of them
“You should name the baby Doug” “Hmm, maybe” “WAIT. Middle-name the baby Pontiac Bandit” *cue Jake turning to Amy excitedly*
Almost all the toys Doug sends are toy pontiacs
Doug and Jake invent a lullaby to sing to the baby and it’s one of the only things that get them to sleep
When Jake has his Holy-Fuck-I’m-Gonna-Be-A-Father-For-A-Baby freakout, Doug Judy smacks sense into him
When Amy has her I-Can’t-Be-A-Mother freakout, he calmly tells her that she’s up there with his mom for great maternal figures, and he’s positive that the baby won’t be a criminal, because he won’t let them, and neither will jake or amy.
(Their second baby’s middle name is Douglas) ((Maya Douglas Santiago-Peralta)
Jake English likes to fight, and likes the Brobot.
TW: Physicality, Discussion of Physical combat
So, like. It’s long past time I wrote about my favorite character in this webcomic.
Jake English is the best and most interesting character in Homestuck, and it’s pretty tragic that barely anybody knows it. This is partly due to Jake’s narrative and personality being one of the most understated and subtle in the comic, but it’s also due to a Fandom Narrative building up around him that unfortunately paves over a lot of Jake’s most unique and interesting character traits.
Let’s try and rediscover this diamond in the rough as we wait for the game that will largely center around an alternate version of him, yeah? Here, I’m going to debunk some pretty common misconceptions about Jake, what he likes, and what he dislikes.
Brawls, Wrestling–Scrums and Whatnot. And the Brobot.
Let’s put it plainly: Jake English likes fights. A lot of the discourse surrounding Jake’s relationship with the Brobot seems to ignore this, or implies that the Brobot, like, Ruined Fighting for him somehow because it was outside of what he initially envisioned when Dirk sent it:
A point commonly further backed up with this quote Jake gives Jane:
There’s a few issues with this interpretation. Jake’s initial negative reaction is his very first encounter with the Brobot, and his quote with Jane is one he delivers as a passing remark. And by simply comparing Jake’s actions before and after the Brobot is sent, we can tell Jake really wouldn’t rather deal with the monsters.
Before the Brobot is sent, when Jake is 13, he explicitly avoids going outside:
Which is easy to link to being afraid of the monsters, since Jake complains about them himself…
And has no problem going outside three years later, after the Brobot is sent. To some extent, this can be put down to Jake’s increased experience and competence. But…
That clearly doesn’t account for the entire shift, since Jake does indeed need the Brobot to save him. I’ll come back to that later, but really, we don’t even need to do all this backwards story introspection to decide what Jake Really Feels. It would be easier to just listen to the guy himself.
So yes, Jake complains about the Brobot to Jane in one passing remark…while he’s still dancing around the tangled web of his relationships with Jane, Dirk, and Roxy. A period of time when Jake, by his own admission, is thinking very much about what other people think and not entirely being honest with the people around him.
What does Jake say when he is being honest, though? What does he tell John in his letter, which Jake wrote when he was 16, after 3 years of dealing with the Brobot?
What does he tell Caliborn–who’s opinion he doesn’t care about–after entering the session, after 6 months of dating Dirk?
And what does he tell Jane about the Brobot when he’s actually being honest with her–which he’ll CONTINUE to do for six months, complaining about all of Dirk’s myriad issues and shortcomings as a romantic partner…without ever once bringing up the specter of physical fear or discomfort?
Wait, hang on. Let’s zoom in on that one, that one’s important:
Woah. Is that Jake conceptually linking the Brobot…to the thing he was most consistently excited about for the entire comic? Interesting. Wild. What could it mean. It would almost imply that after spending three years with the thing, he doesn’t really hate the experience of having it in his life.
Again, Jake is no stranger to complaining about Dirk over the course of their session–he complains to Jane endlessly about him, as well as to Erisol and even Caliborn a little. (Though never Roxy, hmm…I wonder why…(I know why and I’ll get to it in another post.))
But he never really complains about fighting or about the Brobot in general, and his general attitude towards fights seems to be changed absolutely not at all whatsoever–right up to [S] Credits.
And he ultimate views Dirk as a figure of comfort and safety, so much so that he trusts Dirk with protecting him even more than he trusts Grandma or his own powers–after all, even after Brain Ghost Dirk tells him that he wouldn’t need him if he unlocked his hope potential, Jake still chooses to simply make Brain Ghost Dirk real rather than doing anything on his own when he wants to feel safe:
So yeah, I find the idea that Jake was bothered by the Brobot on any meaningful level pretty hard to square with the avalanche of counterevidence that is in the canon. The Brobot was an imperfect gift, but Jake still ultimately enjoyed it.
Jake English likes to fight. Plain and simple. This is weird to a lot of people, and that’s fine, but it’s not actually that uncommon.
There’s plenty of sports that center around fighting or come with the risk of physical harm, like boxing, martial arts, etc. I’m a longtime fencer, and I genuinely liked going without protective padding and getting bruised from the sword impacts. Physicality appeals to some people.
Jake’s love for fighting established, feel free to join me tomorrow and we’ll take on a smaller issue. A tighter one.
I’ve written an obnoxious amount about Dirk, but seeing how quickly I was able to put that Dirk post out, I decided I’d like to use the next couple days to put out similar smaller posts about the other Alphas–Jake, Roxy, and Jane, In that order.
I’ve got at least two more posts of Jake in me before we move on to Roxy, and I should be putting out at least one of these posts a day–the next one’s already pretty much written, so I may post it early in the day tomorrow.
Hopefully, by doing this I can help people understand just how tangled and complicated the tangles of mutual hurt and mutual love are in this group of friends, and why I love this severely underrated group of Homestuck characters.
If you enjoyed this post and think others like it would be interesting to you, well–stay tuned. If you have a counterargument or you disagree with this post, feel free to respond and I’ll do my best to get back to you. I enjoy testing my ideas so long as we’re all nice about it.
can I just say again what a god damn incredible miracle it was for me personally that one of the only “new” interactions (meaning, characters we never saw interact in canon) that we saw in [S] Credits was Karkat and Jake?? jfc. I had been pining for this interaction. it was the most longshot thing on my god damn ending wishlist. after act 7 I never ever thought there was even a fraction of a percent of a chance we’d see canonical interaction. yall know what a fuckin shipper I am and my tendency to overvalue romantic interaction in fic vs platonic but let me tell you I was fucking DESPERATE for this friendship to Truly Exist beyond fanworks and WE FUCKIN GOT IT. Unbelievable. they are dueling with shaving cream. They somehow convinced Jade to participate in their nonsense do you have any fucking idea how hard I laughed at that one fucking panel.
this is an update that had like 5 panels of dirkjake sappy (for them) nonsense out of nowhere in an environment where we werent even sure if they would work things out and make up in canon or ever get back together. like the enormity of the content in that video for the dirkjake fandom is unbelievable. and yet. yet. my favorite panel in it is the one where jake and karkat scream obscenities at each other (presumably) as they cover each other in shaving cream. god
and then it reiterated it with karkat flipping jake’s ass off on tv jesus christ I can’t believe out of all the boundless potential for New As Of Yet Unseen Character Relationships the one the credits gave us was fucking jake and karkat