jake's dumb characters

Sometimes I think about how in the Pilot Holt said “we’ll start with him”, referring to Jake, when asked how he was going to proverbially whip the Nine Nine into shape. Like, the statement is so … not harsh, exactly. But very clearly indicating that Jake isn’t good enough? For Holt’s standards, you know, because he wants their precinct to be The Best and to DO their best and Jake just doesn’t seem like he takes anything, least of all his job, seriously.

And I think about that statement, “we’ll start with him”, that sounds so harsh and blunt and yet looking back now, how much has Holt done for Jake in terms of guidance and support? How much love and time and patience has Holt spent that honestly Jake desperately NEEDED, and, coming to the halfway point of season three, HOW MUCH has Jake grown because of Captain Holt? Because Holt took that statement and instead of giving up or trying to bully Jake into getting his act together, he spent so much time and effort and dedication subtly guiding and supporting and encouraging Jake in all the right things. He was strict and disciplined and harsh at first, yeah, but you notice that as Holt gets to know Jake (and the rest of the nine nine) better, that edge of defensiveness in his leadership disappears entirely.

And his determination to carry out that statement? (Because I’m sure somewhere along the way Holt amended his sentiment, no longer intending to “fix” Jake, as it were, but rather gently nudge him in the right direction, and look at how much good that’s done? LOOK AT HOW FAR THEY’VE COME?? And not only has Holt taught Jake, he’s also LET Jake teach him, and is more and more willing to loosen up and indulge in some of Jake’s goofier shenanigans because he knows how much it means?? Aaaah)

Jake’s like 68% less of a Mess now than he was at the beginning of the show, and oh my goodness, he had so many good qualities there to begin with but now thanks largely to that “we’ll start with him”, those qualities have been given an outlet to truly shine through constructively and Jake’s just come so far and I’m so proud of him I bet Holt’s so PR O U D of him and I’m so highkey about the character development and relationships on this goofy comedy show but you know what Captain Raymond Holt said “ we’ll start with him” and look at where they are now

Since people really seemed to like the saga of Olaf Olafson, I’m gonna tell you guys about one of my own characters, Brenan the Punch Wizard.

My friend was running a Dragonlance game back in college, and I jumped at the chance to not have to DM for once. I ended up rolling up a Neutral Good farmboy mage whose proclivity for magic was discovered relatively late (like… late teens) and so compared to the other wizards he was a total hayseed who knew fuckall about the theory of magic. His familiar was an his old farm dog ffs. An Australian Shepherd with a red neckercheif.

Well, he passed his test and became a White Robes mage (as you do when you’re not a shithead) and started going on more frequent adventures. Brenan quickly established himself as a pretty excellent hard-counter to enemy meatheads, with his suite of nonlethal spells targeting their usually weaker Will save. He was a good kid. He really didn’t want to kill anybody. We took a lot of prisoners with Brenan around.

Eventually, though, we started running into the Plot, which meant- among other things -running into a lot of Evil Wizards. Their Will saves were usually pretty damn high and so there was little chance of catching them with Sleep or Charm Person or the like. But almost all the spells that targeted their Fort save were kinda brutal, and the Reflex saves weren’t much better. He could counter-spell them sometimes, but not always, and it didn’t solve the problem, really. Just put the onus of murder on our Solamnic knight, running up and stabbing the cackling Black Robes with a huge fuckoff sword. That wasn’t very satisfactory, either. What’s a near-pacifist to do? Fireball?  Finger of Death? It was a dilemma.

Until Brenan picked up a null-magic zone spell. I can’t remember the name of it. But you cast it, and for a fairly sizable area, nobody could cast any spells. The enemy mages and clerics would start to fret, but they felt secure at least that Brenan was equally screwed.

Only, he was a farm boy. With a Str of 16 and a feat in Unarmed combat.

By the time that campaign ended, Brenan had personally captured over a dozen renegade Black Robes and dragged them back to the Tower for judgment. They hated and feared him- most of all because he didn’t even have the decency to kill them. No- every last one of the world-bending megalomaniacal sorcerers he defeated had to live with the knowledge that they’d been beaten by a farm boy prodigy and his mean right hook.

HOKAY. I have reached DECISIONS about my Mass Effect: Andromeda character.

So I had already decided that I wanted to play Sis!Ryder based on the relative strengths of the VAs’ IMDB profiles (Bro!Ryder has been in like two things and neither looked compelling, Sis!Ryder’s been in lotsa stuff), and I wanted to not go with the default face and name in favor of somebody who ain’t so dang white.

Then I learned that people will call your Ryder by their first name if you keep it default. Would’ve been awfully nice if anyone could’ve called my Shepard “Alex” like… ever. But then I’m stuck with the name Sara, which isn’t what I wanted really. It’s a nice enough name (better by far than ‘Scott’ imo) but enh.

After much tearing of hair, I have decided to have it both waysr. In that I will have a custom face and name but her NICKNAME will be Sara so people can refer to her as such in cutscenes (since that seems to be a thing that’s actually programmed in if you keep their names):

Sarala Ryder (Sara for short), mixed European (hence the surname) and Indian ethnicity, faceclaim/as close as I can get in the character generator anyhow is Deepika Padukone (almost certainly with much worse hair- this is a BioWare game)

Her personality is going to be, basically, Original Series Jim Kirk: Tries like hell to be fair-minded and patient and wise but occasionally just needs to yell at people who are being immoral and/or get into knock-down brawls and/or romance an alien or two. Idk who’s going to be available to Sis!Ryder between Jaal, Vetra, and Peebee, or who I’ll like her better with, but god knows humans are boring so it’s going to be AN alien she ends up with.

Leaning toward either the ‘Leadership’ or the ‘Explorer’ background, with a backstory that she attended and excelled in Starfleet Academy West Point the Alliance Officer Academy. She practices Khadgavidya (sword-fighting) for cultural and exercise purposes, which will come in handy when they let you have a SPACE SWORD.

Heard but did not confirm that the Andromeda locals use primarily plasma weaponry rather than mass effect projectile weapons, so if I can give her a plasma pistol and sword and have her run around like a WH40k HQ so much the better.

Probably going to go for black and (command) gold for her armor. Don’t know what sorts of other outfits you’ll get but if there’s a nautical-style coat available, you can bet she’ll be rocking that Star Trek movies 2-6 look.

Back when I played WoW, my main was a human (displaced Lordaeron aristocracy) Destruction Warlock named Amyrinth (Amy for short) who was generally smug and self-aggrandizing and vain but secretly harbored Genuine Human Emotions about things and wasn’t actually such a bad sort. Naturally, she ran around everywhere with an imp- a horrid little fellow named Volfip, because, that’s the pet if you’re a Destruction Warlock. Later they changed things so that she got basically a SuperImp instead but he was a different little guy with a different name and it caused me emotional pain to have to say goodbye to Volfip just for mechanical benefit.

That was also when they introduced pet battles (basically Pokemon) so I went and found a vanity pet/pet battles pet imp, captured him, named him Volfip, and wandered around with both him and my SuperImp Actual Combat Pet out at all times.

And that’s when I decided that Amy carried Volfip around in her purse like a Beverly Hills fashionista with a chihuahua.

(below the cut are screencaps of Amy. picture her with a horrid little demon in her purse, doing her shopping, bidding on items in the auction house, talking to the bankers)

Keep reading

Vette: so small, so much snark, capable of crushing any ego but then subsequently often in trouble that mere sass cannot defeat

Kallten: so hudge, so much scorn, phenomenally powerful but lacking in motivation/something to fight for

*they meet*

Master Satele Shan, on Tython, lightyears away “I sense a great disturbance in the Force… as if millions of voices suddenly cried out from a viciously sarcastic burn, then fell silent in dread rather than snapback. I fear something terrible has happened.”


Banshee Mask for my Wraithknight!

Took a couple nights’ work and more than one failed attempt but I finally got a look I’m reasonably happy with. Thought about adding a forehead piece to make it look more like a Banshee helmet but fundamentally don’t want to undermine the “large blank faceplate” look Wraith units have going on. Tried to cut some thin strips of plasticard and twist them into something resembling hair, but it didn’t look good, so I left it off. Maybe I’ll revisit those ideas down the road.

But for now, the Valarayen twins are back on my shelf, plus one banshee mask and some touch-ups and a bunch of snow for their base.


I know, I know. It’s yet another post in appreciation of Kallten’s newest outfit. I should really just make up a template for this kind of post, considering how often I make them.

Maybe one of you guys can help me out, because I’ve been wondering something. There’s… something about this outfit that is weirdly familiar to me in some way I cannot specifically recall. The closest I can say is that it has a “feel” of like, cheesy 80s sci-fi, the thing that it’s reminding me of.

At first I was thinking “Oh, it’s just reminding me of the David Lynch’s Dune fiasco from ‘84, specifically the Harkonnen outfits, right?” Only no, those were blue and more… like… ribbed. Less with the armor plates and the big armored collar which is what’s really pinging my vague memory.

The coat is kind of almost a trenchcoat so maybe my brain is throwing vaguely half-remembered shit from Blade Runner or even the Matrix at me? Only no, the armor really throws that off and it’s the armor/collar that’s the most inexplicably familiar.

I doubt my brain is going to spit out what the hell this reminded me of at this point, but maybe one of you guys sees it and goes “Oh!”?

My Sith Sorcerer, Venziya. She’s fairly dark-side-aligned because she seriously hates virtually everyone.

She grew up a female twi'lek in the Empire, was enslaved, and the only thing that kept her from being sold to dance for some Hutt was her force-sensitivity.

You’re goddam right she has anger issues.

So basically unless you’re a slave who is actively rebelling against the Empire she hates you at least a little bit and is inclined to kill you with lightning.

I should get back to working on her a bit but am probably going to focus on my Trooper tomorrow.


Wraithknight Valarayen

Piloted by the former Howling Banshee Sydri Valarayen, and containing the spirit of her fallen twin sister Lirana Valarayen, this Wraithknight bears the colors and sacred nebulae of Craftworld Tel-Rethan. Each nebula marks a waypoint in their millennia-long journey through the void, a guidepost lighting the way to their ultimate home as foretold by the great Farseer Iolanthe Siamun.


These are for kaijuslayer because all of his characters are awesome. We have (in order L - R) Varian, Alkurah, Atriya and Masano, all of whom don’t get enough love but especially the latter (I’ve never drawn the last 3 before at all, which is why I’m sorry in advance if I got the colours or outfits or anything wrong yikes).  

4/7 - There will be 3 more soon, when I blow through some other work, but these were literally the most fun I’ve ever had doing portraiture. :D His characters are all so gorgeous and wildly different from one another. Go follow him if you don’t!

(Hope you like them Jake!)


So, the very first Eldar model I painted was my Farseer, because I was excited to convert and paint her up. Fast forward a couple years, and my painting has improved enough that I felt like she needed some touch-ups. The nebulae on her bike weren’t as nice as my other models, for example. And the gold was less varied. And her spear was a bit underwhelming. And her base needed a lot of love- snow and a statue bit and some tufts. And her robes needed a little more edge highlighting. And and and.

So I did some touch-up work I’m fairly proud of. Woo!