jake you better make it up to me

Homestuck Pool Party Headcanons

John: Canonballs in IMMEDIATELY, he is yelling and he is fucking excited move out of the way this boy is coming through!! Also, because he has a breath aspect I am 413% certain that he can stay underwater for indefinite amounts of time and you can bet your ass he’s going around grabbing people’s feet to freak them out. He and Terezi have a contest to see who can make the most people jump, I will not say who wins I will only say that it is unfortunate for everyone involved. He and Dave are an unstoppable chicken team, they have never lost and will do Whatever It Takes to make sure that remains true.

Dave: Is just chillin, he cares more about keeping his shades dry than swimming around. He will go hard as hell in Marco Polo tho, if you thought he was too cool to jump at the nearest person faster than the speed of light you were wrong buddy he will do what it takes to WIN. Also, when he is the Marco he will (unfairly) target Karkat. This is frustrating. “I’m not even being that loud” Karkat protests for the umpteenth time Dave tags him. “Bullshit” everyone else says, but there’s still a rule that Dave can’t tag Karkat more than five times in a row because really Dave we know you love hearing him yell but Enough Please.

Karkat: Is Bad At Marco Polo. He is so loud. My son. Please. Is very hesitant to get into the water at first bc he’s sensitive to the cold and would rather angrily sweat than deal with the initial shock of getting in. Dave will patiently chill nearby until Karkat is ready, or Dave decides that Karkat is ready in which he will absolutely drag him in. Karkat does not know how to swim so he won’t go past the shallow end, and considering how short he is, uh, that’s not very much of the pool. Dave has to carry him sometimes which he complains about A Lot but secretly kind of likes it whoops. Karkat and Sollux are the shittiest chicken team, Karkat is too afraid of falling in to have any sort of effective strategy and Sollux is like “Karkat just push him” and sort of plows into the other team which just leads to Karkat screeching and nothing gets done.

Roxy: LOVES SWIMMING WITH HER FRIENDS!!! Real people?? That she’s hanging out with?? And you KNOW she’s excited to wear that cute as fuck bikini she alchemized months ago ‘just in case’ ;) ;) ;). After years of knowing Jane and her silly prankster shenanigans, John will absolutely not get the drop on her no sir, he tries to grab her foot she will raise that leg and pull the boy out of the water and give him the Mom Look™. This is war. John will not win. She loves being with Jane and Roxy and her boys!! She is just full of so much love it’s incredible. She deserves this so much.

Calliope: Doesn’t know much about swimming or why humans (and trolls ish) find it so enjoyable, but Roxy is excited so she is too! Interestingly enough, cherubs Do Not Float. Roxy is waving a nervous Callie into the pool and she’s coming down the ladder and once it gets to her chin everyone expects her to do something but no, she makes it to the bottom of the pool and just walks like normal over to where Roxy is. The water level comes up to just below her nose and she has to tilt her head back to speak. “Like this?” She asks excitedly, ‘uh,,, yeah,,,like that’ everyone responds nervously, giving big smiles and thumbs up because they don’t want to disappoint her.

Jade: A master swimmer, she and Jake grew up on an island in the middle of the goddamn pacific my girl knows how to GO. No one realized how fucking ripped Jade was. Jade is ripped as heck. She’s got back and shoulder muscles like an absolute goddess and everyone is like holy shit? Jade? Have you been benching pumpkins all these years? She likes chilling with Jane and Roxy and Calliope because she has been longing for some gals to hang with forever. Not that she doesn’t love Rose, she does, it’s just, they have such differing personalities and anyways it’s kind of hard being around her and Kanaya bc they’re so cute it makes your teeth hurt.

Rose: She and Kanaya have matching floppy sun hats, they love laying out in the sun because Kanaya is a little nervous around water thanks to a certain sea-dweller *cough* eridan *cough*. Rose doesn’t mind, her swimsuits are more for show than swim anyways. She’s got some really cool and intricate goth-y ones and some nice lighthearted pastel ones, an orange and yellow fancy one-piece and a frilly lavender one. Rose has a new appreciation for sunlight but still religiously applies sunscreen because a home girl may be immortal, but fuck if she is gonna deal with any nasty sunburns after defeating the fucking embodiment of evil.

Kanaya: As previously stated, very nervous around water, but so so happy to be in the sun?? It’s not as bright as the one on Alternia which is fine because that means her troll friends can enjoy it too, but she’s literally just so happy to be around people that enjoy the sun the way she does because she’s felt wrong and different about it for years and she finally found someone that understands her ahhshshsjs. She designs all of Rose’s swimsuits and loves seeing her wear them. When it gets dark out, she likes to turn on the glow a little and all these cute little furry wingbeasts will flock to her?? “Those are moths” Rose tells her. “These are my children now” Kanaya pats Rose’s arm, they’re her children too because that’s how human marriage works she’s pretty sure

Dirk: Is so awkward oh my godddd, a little uncomfortable in his body actually? This boy might have muscle but he is all arms and legs and doesn’t know what to do with them because he’s never fuckifnfnfn been around people before. Doesn’t say “Marco” during Marco Polo, he just listens. Breath too loud? You’re tagged. Splash a little? Tagged. Move? Tagged. He’s never Marco for more than two minutes because he’s so in tune with his reflexes that no one even stands a chance. With Jake on his shoulders, they make a decent chicken team, but they’re too worried about each other to be effective. “You okay up there?” He wants to make sure. Someone is tipping Jake over oh no get him off my shoulders is he okay, oh he’s fine, yes I know how the game works Roxy, no Rose why don’t you get in the pool and do a better job before you come for me like that. Rose and Kanaya, in an extremely rare occurrence, do get in for a round of chicken. They beat Dirk and Jake almost immediately. They return to the deck. This never happened and we don’t speak of it.

Jake: Is bad at Marco Polo, he’s an amazing swimmer but he’s not…quiet. After growing up on that island, fighting and swimming, Jake is also Ripped as Heck. Dirk blushes his fucking ass off the first time he sees Jake shirtless. Jake acts all clueless like oh? What’s wrong Dirk? Is something the matter? But he knows exactly what he’s doing and if he’s subtly flexing in front of him, well. That can’t be helped. He may suck during chicken with Dirk, but with Jade on his shoulders? Hoo boy, they give Dave and John a run for their money. He is also John’s favorite to grab the feet of because his reactions are always so over the top with his phrasing. “Horsefeathers!” He grabs at his foot in panic because his first thought is it was one of the monsters from his island, then he sees it was just John who is laughing his ass off because, horse feathers? Really? “I say,” Jake huffs indignantly even though he’s smiling now. “Warn a fellow!”

Jane: Looks rockin’ in her swimsuits because she’s wearing the whole high waisted pinup style ones and?? She’s super gorgeous? Roxy makes sure to tell her that every five seconds just in case she forgets. She and Roxy make a decent chicken team, usually they’re laughing so hard by the end of it that whoever was on top can’t do anything and they fall off because they don’t care about winning they’re just having such a good time. She and Roxy take turns carrying Callie around when the water gets too deep, not that Callie needs to be above the water per se as she seems to have no trouble breathing, but it just makes everyone a little more comfortable and anyways Callie loves it.

Terezi: Killer at Marco Polo for obvious reasons, sometimes she gets tagged on purpose just to show off how quickly she can find people. The only person she’s never been able to get is John, he uses his windy powers to obscure his scent so she can’t “see” him. He is her Marco Polo white whale. One day, John, one day. She and Vriska are terrifying during chicken, Vriska will plow full speed towards the opposing team and Terezi is ready to Throw Hands. The most intense games are between them and John and Dave, both John and Terezi are on top and they fuckin battle it out so hard that Dave and even Vriska start to get nervous on the bottom.

Sollux: Says the water feels slimy. “No shit,” Karkat tells him. “It’s water you fucking shitstain.” Sollux cheats during chicken by using his psiionics to keep Karkat on his shoulders which only makes Karkat mad because he’s terrified of falling in and holy shit Sollux I don’t care what you think your powers are doing I’m gonna fall in fuck fuck fuck. “No I got you” Sollux assures him. He does not. Karkat is not got. Oh well. Sollux mostly likes chilling on inner tubes, plural. He has a blue one and a red one because he’s too tall to fit in just one. “Get a bigger inner tube” Karkat complains. “Perhaps get one of those long, recliner like ones?” Kanaya suggests. No. Sollux will use two inner tubes. He will make the sacrifice of comfort for his aesthetic.

fuck antis

I will take this time to remind everyone of the #anti tactics tag that I really feel is worth reading when antis decide you’re their victim of the week.

I also want to say this in the hopes that the people being harassed internalize it and remember it:

With antis, nothing you do matters. Your actions will not encourage or diminish their efforts. Antis do not see you as another human being because that is beyond them, and because they will go out of the way to dehumanize you, up to an including lying about your identity to all their friends until they feel Justice when they put a target on you.

It’s not about your art or your fic or your headcanon. It’s about power, and bullying, and getting a fucking emotional high off crushing people. We literally know this from former antis who have spoken about it.

Do not for a second think “if I drew something different” or “if I was a better writer,” or anything. It would not help, and there is nothing more worthwhile than you continuing to make the content you want to make, and fuck the antis with a rake.

I remember back a year ago when I was writing ASAFAF and some anti got all up in arms because I was just another author making Jake white. Me, Arcturus, who has never written a white Jake in her life.

Even if you are “perfect” or at least don’t fall into their easy categories of “Women and Queer People We’re Allowed To Hurt,” they will happily invent shit and lie. They do not care.

Block them. Keep creating the shit you want to see in fandom. Support your fellows who are attacked with these lies and harassment.

Death to purity politics. And fuck these dehumanizing, lying puritanical shitstains.

  • b99: hey the world isn't black and white and cops should learn that they shouldn't be so quick to condemn a criminal! also having this mentality doesn't make a cop weaker, it makes them stronger and better at their job, and these cops are the sort we need keeping our streets safe
  • me: damn... i'm speechless
  • b99: and here's a 5 second scene of Jake and Amy sleeping domestically in bed
  • me: listen up,, you gots to really appreciate how Amy is sleeping facing Jake? even in her subconscious, she's still too afraid to lose him again, too scared to look away lest he's taken from her... and also she's sleeping on the side of the bed that he used to sleep on? did she start sleeping there when he went to jail because that side of the bed smelled more like him and it hurt less to see her side of the bed empty than his? and when Jake came back and Amy was still sleeping on his side... he must've pretended not to notice because he knew he would've done the same thing had she been the one who was taken from him?
Imprinting

Fandom: Twilight

Pairing: Jacob x Reader

Request: Can u write an angsty Jacob Black imagine where he imprints on the reader? or any Jacob imagine tbh haha

Characters: Jacob Black, Reader, Bella Swan(mentioned)

Word Count: 1033 

Warnings: Angst, fluff, cuteness, a few curse words and that’s it

Summary: You and Jacob have been friends for years now. One day, everything seems to change and you have no idea why.

Originally posted by ladystonheart


Originally posted by vixielefox


Originally posted by stupidteletubbie

It was just another rainy day in Forks, Washington. The weather there was always rainy and cloudy, but you were okay with that. You love the weather like that. Sunny weather was okay with you too, but you prefer this type of weather. On your days off from school, you would usually spend time with your best friend, Jacob Black. You both go to different schools, so you don’t see a lot of each other on the week days. But that didn’t stop either of you from skipping classes to go see each other.

Keep reading

B99 + Tinder AU: in which Jake and Amy match on Tinder. 
→ set pre-show/early season onewritten after I impulsively downloaded Tinder instead of working on my other AU in progress

In a moment of insanity and slight tipsiness, she lets Kylie download Tinder on her phone. (”Amy, what do you want your Bio to say?” “Ooh, how about how I’m in a nationally-ranked trivia team?” “Nope, none of that.”)

In a moment of four-drink-drunkenness, she swipes right on Jake Peralta. 


She wakes up on Saturday morning with her mouth dry and her head pounding. Groaning, Amy lifts one hand to shield her eyes from the way-too-bright light streaming in through the curtains. With her other hand, she gropes blindly for her phone on the bedside table. When she doesn’t find it immediately, she drags herself out of bed and makes her way toward the kitchen. 

She gets herself a glass of water and fishes her phone out of her purse, which was on the floor just a few paces away from the messy heap of fabric that was her coat and scarf. 

She opens her phone, and her eyebrows scrunch together at the notification on the screen: “Congratulations! You have a new match!

Her eyes flicker to the icon accompanying the message. The small red flame brings back hazy memories of the night before - Kylie taking her phone hostage and downloading the app, Kylie setting up her profile, the two of them cracking up while swiping left and right for an hour. 

She sips from her glass and pulls up the app with a sigh. She taps the screen a few times to check her matches and messages, bracing herself for anything inappropriate and praying she didn’t send out anything too terrible herself. (She doesn’t recall doing any messaging of her own, but she also doesn’t recall getting home and throwing her jacket on the floor, so.) 

She chuckles at a few of the messages and grimaces at others, but her heart nearly stops, and she almost drops her glass when she scrolls down and sees a very familiar name.

In his tiny profile picture, he’s looking somewhere off camera and has a single eyebrow raised. His lips are drawn into a somewhat half smirk, half smile. For some reason, she can just hear Gina’s voice, giving him directions on how to pose. (”Okay, Jake. Remember, we’re going for sexy, but not like we’re trying too hard. Like, sure, we’re trying, but it’s almost effortless.”) 

There’s a blue star on his photo, and Amy vaguely recalls Kylie telling her this means he swiped up to “Super Like” her. Her ears burn at the idea Jake would ever actually super like her. 

After setting her glass down on her coffee table and taking a seat on her couch (to avoid breaking glassware, falling over, or other potential consequences), she takes a deep breath and opens up his messages. 

santiago’s on tinder?! whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!?!?!!! were the magic themed singles nights not working out for you? :o

gotta say i’m supes flattered you swiped right

but fyi i’m totally going to bring this up at briefing on monday

the whole world has to know i matched with amy santiago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She rolls her eyebrows but continues reading. 

uh

unless you don’t want me to?? 

ames??????????????

k you’re not replying

that tells me you either passed out in shock after matching with me (tbh i get it, nbd) 

or you and kylie are having the craziest night of your life :P 

There’s a new timestamp before the next message, and when she checks, she finds he sent it over half an hour after the prior one.

look i’m only saying this cause you swiped right first but if this wasn’t a joke and you were actually interested, i’d be up for dinner or whatever 

It’s the last of his messages, and it sends her reeling. 

Heart racing and hands shaking, she fumbles with her phone to call her best friend. She figures the woman who got her in this mess should help her out of it.

“H-hello?” Kylie’s voice is hoarse and weak, and this makes Amy feel a teensy bit better about her own hangover. Except she’s still freaking out. 

“KYLIE! DID I SWIPE RIGHT ON JAKE PERALTA LAST NIGHT?”

There’s a laugh on the other line. “Honey, you grabbed your phone from me to swipe right the second his face came on the screen and then yelled at it when he hadn’t responded within 30 seconds. You didn’t even bother reading his bio - although I checked, and it was just full of Die Hard quotes and emojis… Not the best or most creative. Like what does that even mean dating-wise? What does that tell you about him as a potential lover? Nothing, Amy, nothing. The only thing it says is that his ideal date is probably a Die Hard marathon and make out session.“

“Oh, God, can we not analyze Peralta’s Tinder profile right now?” 

You asked about him! Anyway, what’s up, boo? Did your smoking hot partner actually match with you?” 

“Smoking hot?”

“Your words, not mine.” 

Her cheeks flare up at that, and she groans. She combs her free hand through her hair. “He might have… sent me a bunch of messages and said he was up for dinner or whatever if I was actually interested.”

Kylie makes a high-pitched squeal, and Amy has to bring her phone away from her ear for a second. When she brings it back, her best friend’s talking a mile a minute. “So you are going out with him, right? There is no way in hell you are passing this up, Amy. You’ve been into him forever! You know what, I’m ending this call right now. You need to message him back or text him or call him or something. Text me updates ASAP!” 

The line goes silent after that, and Amy’s left with a bigger headache than the one she woke up with. 

After staring at the ceiling for another minute or hour (she can’t tell), she goes back into the app and pulls up his message. Throwing all caution to the wind, she sends: Hey! :) Are you free tonight?

His reply comes almost instantaneously, which is good because she otherwise would have gone insane.

ya! what do you want to do?? i’m up for anything ;)

ps that winky face wasn’t meant to be sexual or anything, we could literally just sit and talk and eat

or something

no pressure 

An increasingly familiar swell of affection rises in her chest. She pauses to consider her response. Die Hard and takeout at my place?

noice. i’ll be there @ 6

can’t wait, ames!!!!!!! ♥

A series of knocks sounding vaguely like the Imperial March announces his arrival later. Amy tucks her hair behind her ears, takes a deep breath, and gets the door. 

Jake has a boyish grin on his face and a spark of amusement in his eyes. “Y’know, Amy, Tinder’s Safety Tips page says you’re always meant to meet someone in public. I hope you don’t invite all your matches to your apartment for movie night. What would Holt say if you got murdered? How would we explain your death to your parents?”

She chuckles and rolls her eyes. Just like that, all the nervousness she felt dissipates. “Come in, Jake.” 

The night ends up going on both of their good date lists. - They order Chinese and fight over the last egg roll. Jake recites half the lines of the movie. (Only half because Amy shushes him at some point). They make out on her couch as the end credits roll over the screen. 

They also delete their Tinder accounts. 

Permanently. 

B99 Prom AU

Imagine an AU where Jake and Gina met Amy and Rosa while prom dress shopping.

• Gina was planning on winning prom queen so she needed to wear the most extra dress possible. Screw being the Belle of the ball, she was gonna be the BEAST! She brought her best friend Jake to help her pick out a dress. He knows her well, so he knows her taste in dresses.

• Amy was on the prom planning comittee. She planned the whole entire thing. Took care of the snacks, entertainment, decoration, etc. All that was left was to pick out her dress, so she brought her friend Rosa along. Rosa hated prom. She thought prom was stupid and a waste of time. Rosa was planning to help her friend Amy pick out her dress and not even show up to prom.

• Jake was rummaging through the dress rack when he found a blue and green sequined dress that he thought Gina would love. As he reaches to grab the dress, another hand shoots for it at the exact same time. Jake looks at this hand and turns to the owner of this arm. It’s Amy. “Hey, I know you aren’t you the class president? You’re like in every single club at school! You’re all over the yearbook!”

• Amy looks at him, not bothered by the fact that his hand is still resting on top of her’s. “Yeah, I’m Amy. I know you’re Jake. Principal Holt complains about you all the time. I always see you in his office.”

• Jake smirks, “Yeah, we spend a lot of time in his office. I’m kinda his favorite student.” Amy scoffs at this absurd statement. “Principal Holt doesn’t like delinquents who get detention every single day. He likes straight-A students that are on the honor roll, like me!”

• At this point, Jake removes his hand from Amy’s. “Oh yeah, if he likes you so much, then why doesn’t he threaten to send you to summer school like me? He likes me so much that he can’t stand to be apart from me over vacation!” Amy rolls her eyes at Jake’s absurd reasoning and starts to remove the dress from the rack. Jake stops her. “Whoa, what are you doing? I saw the dress first. It’s mine. It’s for my friend, Gina. Everybody in school follows her on Instagram. If you take this dress away from her, she will destroy you,” he threatens.

• Amy scoffs and rolls her eyes. “Oh yeah, well my best friend is Rosa Diaz, and if you take this dress away from me, she will kick your ass!” Now Jake rolled his eyes. Amy was bluffing. Rosa Diaz is the scariest person at school. No way that someone like her is friends with a goody-two-shoes like Amy Santiago. Jake is about to yank the dress out of her hands when Rosa walks up to Amy. “This guy giving you a problem?” Rosa asked as she glared at Jake. Jake gasped and immediately let go of the dress.

• Amy gave Jake a smug smile at her victory. Jake scoffed. “Oh yeah well…I didn’t even want that ugly dress! That dress makes you look like a mermaid!” Amy smirked as Jake sighed in defeat. Gina walked up to the three of them. “Jake, did you find my dress? I want to look like Rihanna at the Met Gala!” Jake hung his head. “I was going to give you that mermaid dress but Amy stole it from me.” Gina looked at Amy’s dress. “Thank goodness she stole it, that dress is fugly! I thought you knew me better than that, Jake!”

• Rosa looked at Gina. “Are you looking for your prom dress?” Gina replied, “I’m not looking for a prom dress. I am looking for THE prom dress.” Rosa suggested, “Maybe I can help. I’ll help you find a dress if you help me find one, too.” Amy was confused. She asked Rosa, “I thought you said you weren’t planning on going to prom?” Rosa shot Amy a hard look. Amy knew to shut up. Gina thought that was a great idea. She grabbed Rosa by the arm and they headed towards a new rack of dresses.

• Amy goes into the fitting room to try on her mermaid dress. She scurries out of the dressing room and knocks into Jake. “Sorry, I tried to get out of there fast. I could hear Rosa and Gina hooking up in the stall next to me.” Jake didn’t hear a single word she said. His jaw dropped. He gazed over her. He realized he was staring, and was probably coming off as creepy. He stumbled on his words. “N-no it’s f-fine…you l-look…good…”

• Amy blushed. “I thought you said this dress makes me look like a mermaid.” Jake replied, “Yeah, well, who doesn’t like mermaids? Mermaids are beautiful! You are…b-beautiful.” Amy blushed even more at his compliment, yet still oblivious to the heart eyes that this smitten boy was making.

• Jake cleared his throat and took a deep breath. It took all the courage in him to ask her this. “Amy…d-do you…by any chance…have a date t-to prom?” Amy smiled, “Yup, I do! His name is Teddy, he’s captain of the football team! Jake stared at his feet, feeling like such an idiot. He thought to himself, “How stupid was I, to think that somebody as beautiful as Amy would actually give someone like me a chance?” He managed to muster out, “Oh…I hope you and Teddy have fun.” Amy smiled. “I hope to see you at prom night! We better dance!” she told him as she ran off to get Rosa and Gina back on task.

• Prom night came and everybody was dressed on point! Gina wore a Victorian-style purple gown, and by her side was Rosa Diaz, in a sleek black dress! Gina obviously won prom queen by a landslide. Prom king was, to everyone’s surprise, Rosa Diaz! “I guess proms aren’t so stupid after all” Rosa considered as she was handed her crown and looked at her queen, Gina Linetti, in her tiara.

• Jake was dressed in his best tuxedo. He scoured the crowd for Amy and noticed Amy sitting by herself by a table, looking upset. Jake hurried over to her. “Amy, what happened? Prom is a success! You did an amazing job putting this together!” Amy smiled as she turned her head away, not wanting anyone to see the tears welling in her eyes. “My date never showed up.”

• Jake was astonished. “That’s impossible! How could anyone do such a thing!” He sat next to Amy. “Amy, you are smart, and beautiful, and amazing! Any guy would be lucky to have you! Teddy’s an idiot for doing this. He has no idea what he lost.” Amy smiled and looked up at Jake. Jake extended his hand. “I believe I owe you a dance? You spent so much time putting this event together. You deserve to enjoy yourself.”

• Amy placed her hand in Jake’s as he led her onto the dance floor. They danced to DJ Terry’s mix tape with Gina and Rosa. Then a slow song came on. Amy wrapped her arms around Jake as he placed his arms around her waist. They swayed to the music, looking into each other’s eyes. “Thank you,” was all Amy could say. Jake responded by placing his lips onto hers. Amy kissed him back. They pulled apart and placed their foreheads together. “This was the best night ever,” Amy smiled as she leaned her head against Jake’s. They danced the night away.

Cool Kid Calculator | Jake Peralta

Title: Cool Kid Calculator
Author: Clara
Character: Jake Peralta
Warnings: pregnancy, swearing
Prompt: anon: “Could you write a Jake Peralta imagine about him finding out the reader (his girlfriend) is pregnant? Thanks a lot! Love your writing btw :) xoxo”

Originally posted by youngsamberg

Keep reading

it’s past 1 in the am and ive listened to the full bootleg all of once over a month ago but uh hc that a squip’s primary objective is spreading through a population and making their person popular/successful is either a secondary objective, a method the squip developed to gain a person’s trust enough, or was a primary objective but they pulled an i, robot and decided that “since the only way we can ensure success in an individual is have everyone squipped, we can override our primary objective” (which implies all squips are Always networked and linked to a Head Squip that decided this)

Consider:

- rich’s squip telling him to tell jeremy to get one. the only benefit rich would get is??? some extra cash, but he loses a bullying target, which by squip standards is one of the things that makes him “cool”

- you can also consider just that the squip told rich to bully jeremy in the first place. in theory, it wouldn’t make him any “cooler” and certainly not more “chill.” in practice, what it does is groom jeremy into filling the spot rich had- bottom of the “food chain” and desperate to get out- the perfect target for convincing to get a squip.

- jeremy’s squip told him to squip the whole school, giving excuses along the lines of “making you popular is gonna be rough with all this human error to account for :( if u squipped everyone then you’d be popular right quick”

- but jeremy got the squips from a box in rich’s locker. rich had horded enough squips for the school, most likely at the orders of his own squip, but since he was already popular, the excuse jeremy’s squip gave doesn’t quite fit rich’s situation, making it seem more like… just an excuse

- also uh if rich recently got enough squips for the school his actions at the party w/ begging for mtn dew red & setting the fire were definitely definitely in response to “when i go back to school this thing is gonna make me squip e v e r y o n e”

- the squip, for a supercomputer, does literally everything in a super roundabout way??? jeremy’s primary goal he wanted the squip’s help with was christine, and you’re telling me that after she SINGS A SONG about how “you know, jake, mr. super cool kid, is much better than i thought he was, bc i expected him to be one of those Asshole Cool Kids, who i DON’T LIKE” that any gd algorithm would come up with the result of “ok quickest way to her heart is still: being popular and an asshole”

- and obviously optic nerve blocking was to stop michael from helping jer figure it out or bc he wasn’t seen as ever being a potential target. squip everyone you can, erase those you can’t

(Seth Clearwater Imagine)

@justsomeamerican asked: do the imagine.

Imagine for this text

Writer: Admin Madz

Word Count: 260


I drive as fast as I can down to Seth’s house and see Jake waiting outside. “I take it he’s still out cold” I ask.

“Yeah” he tells me. “I kinda understand why he fainted though, your imprint accepting you. It’s a big deal.” he continues.

~

“Hey Seth” I say as I see him waking up. He looks shocked as he sees me.

“What are you doing here” he asks confused.

“Do you seriously forget our texts before you fainted.

“Oh that” he says remembering.

“Well Jake texted me saying that you fainted, so I came over to make sure you’re ok” I tell him.

“So you like me back” he asks.

“Yeah I do. Don’t faint again please” I say.

“I won’t” he says and just stares out in space.

“Seth, you ok” I ask waving my hand in front of his face. He snaps out suddenly. 

“Never better, the girl I like, likes me back. My imprint accepted me!” he says excitedly. I just smile and kiss his cheek, which makes him freeze up again.

“Give him awhile, let it sink in” Jake tells me.

“Yeah, I guess. I should get home now. So bye” I say and leave to get into my car. 

~

“Where’d Y/N go” Seth asks suddenly not seeing the girl next to him anymore.

“She left, I told her to let it sink in for you first.” Jake tells Seth.

“Yeah I guess you’re right. It’s just really exciting” 

“Congrats man” Jake says and pats Seth’s back as he exits the house.

Sadie Black (Chapter 4)

Originally posted by funeralediunsogno

The beginning of the next week was normal and calm, but as soon as Thursday came around, it seemed like the start of the week was the calm before the storm.

It was Thursday that Bella decided it was a good idea to jump off the cliff that the pack went diving off of all the time. She hadn’t accounted for the rough waves and the rocks that a human like her wouldn’t be able to handle.

Jacob had rescued her from drowning and when she had woken up after throwing up a load of water from her lungs, she had been panicked. She said that she had seen Victoria in the water with her. This sent a panic through the pack.

Kim and I were quickly ushered to Emily’s house, with Embry on patrol directly outside the house while the rest of the pack, besides Jacob, were running the perimeter of the reservation looking for any trace of Victoria.

It was a long day, especially when my father called the house to inform us that Harry Clearwater had died of a heart attack. What was even more shocking was that both of his children, Leah and Seth, had shifted for the first time.

A girl werewolf? No one had ever considered that to be a possibility. And with her and Sam’s history, this was going to be awkward.

And Seth, that poor kid was only 14 and he had to deal with all this.

Kim and I knew that we weren’t going to be leaving Emily’s anytime soon. With Victoria on the loose and two new wolves to take care of, the pack would be busy enough without their imprints being in more than one place.

Luckily, we kept some spare clothes here in case an emergency, just like this one, ever occurred. I pulled my hair into a large bun on the top of my head and changed into some leggings and one of Paul’s sweatshirts that he never wore anymore. Luckily it still smelt like him.

We stayed up late, trying to stay up for when the boys would be home, but it didn’t exactly work out that way. We had started off strong by ordering pizza and french fries and a bunch of other food that we knew we wouldn’t be able to finish. But I had fallen asleep sometime around 2:00 in the morning on the armchair in the corner of the living room in the middle of some random movie we had decided on.

It wasn’t until 4 that the boys came back. Paul had lifted me up and I cuddled into his chest as he carried me out to his truck. He set me down in the passenger seat and made his way over to the drivers side. As soon as he climbed in, I lowered myself so my head was laying on his thigh. He drove home with one hand on the wheel and the other running his hands through my hair.

“Arms up,” he told me softly once he had set me down on the bed.

I did as I was told and he pulled the sweatshirt off of my body, leaving me in just a sports bra and the leggings I had changed into earlier.

“Where’s my dad?” I wondered out loud as Paul changed into a new pair of shorts that he kept in my room. He ripped through so many of them that he kept them almost everywhere.

“He’s with Sue,” he answered my inquiry. He climbed into bed, pulling me down into his chest. “The funeral’s on Saturday.”

I didn’t have anymore tears to cry. I had loved Harry like an uncle. He was practically my second father.

“You’ll go with me, right?” I whispered.

“Of course I will,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. “Now let’s get some sleep.”

The next day, or I suppose it was the same day since we had gone to bed so late, Paul and I woke up to Jacob’s grunts of frustration in his bedroom next to mine.

Glancing over at the clock, I was shocked to realize it was already lunch time. I pulled away from Paul, making him groan.

“5 more minutes,” he whined, pulling me back by my wrist.

“But I’m starving,” I moaned back. And as if to reiterate what I had said, my stomach let out a loud growl. “I’ll make you pancakes.”

“Fine,” he sighed before pulling my wrist once more, pulling me down so he could kiss me softly. He let me go and I pulled a shirt on before making my way out into the hallway.

I stopped at Jacob’s door, knocking lightly before opening it. I gasped softly at the sight. There was clothes strewn all over the floor and the sheets on his bed were on the ground. Sure his room wasn’t the cleanest, but it was never this messy.

“Jake?” I called out to him. He was sitting laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. “Do you want any pancakes?”

He didn’t respond.

“Are you okay?” I asked him.

“One of the Cullens came back,” he muttered angrily.

“What?” Paul questioned, coming up behind me. “Which one?”

“The small one… I think her name’s Alice.”

“While you two discuss this, I’ll go start those pancakes,” I sighed, stepping away from the tense atmosphere.

After our late breakfast, Jacob and Paul dropped me off at the Clearwater’s house on their way to inform Sam and the rest of the pack about the Cullens possibly returning. I spent the day helping Sue and my father with the plans for the funeral. Not only was Sue mourning her husband, but her two children were now werewolves.

The next day, the funeral went as well as a funeral could go. Paul didn’t leave my side the whole time. The last time I had been to a funeral it was my mother’s. At least this time the body wasn’t so badly hurt that the coffin had to be closed.

The whole reservation was there, even the pack. Well, actually, everyone but Jacob. That seemed to be a trend lately. I didn’t even care anymore that he was probably at Bella’s.

That night though, I was getting ready for bed when Jacob came home. I could tell he was angry by the way that he carried himself. His 6’7 frame was all hunched over itself as he sat on the couch and he was shaking. My first thought was that he was about to shift and that I should call Paul or Sam, but I realized that he wasn’t shaking because he was going to shift, he was shaking because he was crying.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, walking over and sat next to him, hugging him tightly.

“She chose him,” he groaned. “She chose someone who is literally dead over me, Sadie! I don’t understand.”

I sighed. I knew this would happen. I knew that Bella would eventually drop my brother.

“She doesn’t deserve you,” I reassured him. “Let her live her life the way that she wants to. You can focus more on the pack… and school too. Your grades have been slipping. You deserve better.”

“I just don’t understand…”

“I don’t either, but you need to forget about Bella Swan.”

“I’m sorry I let her punch you,” he told me softly after a moment of silence. “I was so blind.”

“It’s okay, Jake,” I reassured him.

“It’s not,” he muttered, pulling me into a hug. “But I’ll make it up to you… I promise.”

William Nylander - Part 6

In case anyone missed it, I now have masterposts for both my Matthews story and the Nylander one! Keeps everything nice and organized! 

After dinner we roll to a stop outside my apartment. An awkwardness comes over me and I have no idea what to do or say so I wait for him to break the silence.  

               “I’d ask to come in, but I think I hit my limit of making you do things today,” Will says, shifting into park and leaning back in his seat to look at me.

               I laugh and nod. “I would have said no anyway.” We both know it’s a lie.

               “Sure,” he humors me and our eyes meet. Instead of the tension rising, it seems to dissipate. I’m comfortable with him. It’s a shocking revelation. Just as is the fact that his hair is different shades of blonde almost, a natural highlight that I hadn’t noticed before.

               “Are you going to call me this time?”

               I hesitate a moment. “It’s possible.”

               He tilts his head down and gives me a skeptical look.

               “You never know, I could still be gathering evidence of your stalking incidents,” I tease, giving him a severe look.

               Will laughs, it rumbles in the enclosed space and my heart skips a beat. It’s a beautiful sound.

               “I guess anything is possible,” he says and we fall silent again. I don’t want to get out of the car and I don’t think he wants me to leave either.

               “Well, I’m sure my cat is very upset I didn’t spend my Sunday with her,” I start when the silence stretches on for too long, my hand reaching for the door handle. Silently begging him to stop me. He does.

               Will’s hand catches my wrist and I look back at him in question. He gives me a shy smile before leaning in and kissing my cheek gently.

               “Goodnight, Y/N,” he says, his breath raising goosebumps on my skin.

               “Will,” I say as a goodbye and lift myself out of the car, closing the door gently behind me. I don’t look back.

               The elevator dings, the doors closing after I press my floor number and I lean back against one of the walls, my head hitting the glass with a thud. The only reassuring thing that this hasn’t been a dream is the dull ache.

               “What the hell am I doing?” I ask myself aloud. You said yes to another date with Nathan for tomorrow yet you spent all day with a drop dead gorgeous hockey player and let him take you out to dinner and kiss your cheek and make your stomach do backflips and you are a horrible person. I let out a wail of despair once I’m in my apartment and Kota pins her ears back. Her eyes judgmental.

               “Don’t even start with me, Kota,” I snap, throwing some food into her bowl. I strip down in my bathroom and turn the water as hot as I can stand. Letting the water relax my muscles and steam the bathroom, I let my mind wander. It doesn’t surprise me when it lands on Will. I wonder what he’s doing. I wonder if he’s showering just like me. Oh you just had to go to a naked image, didn’t you? I scold myself and turn the scalding shower off.

               I don’t bother dressing myself, tying a robe around myself instead. Wandering out into the living room Kota is perched on her usual spot on the back of my couch. Her eyes are less judgmental now and she’s content to let me pet her head.

               “Oh Kota, two weeks ago I had no boys. Now I have two,” I whisper and she meows back. I don’t speak cat but I’m pretty sure she just asked me for more food.

-

               When my alarm sounds in the morning I bounce out of bed, always the morning person. I’m my most productive in the early hours of the day, hence the alarm at 6:30. I dress myself smartly, also key to being productive and twist my hair into messy bun. Kota bends between my legs as I gather my morning breakfast, nearly causing me to break my ankles twice.

               I pull up my schedule on my tablet as I stuff toast and eggs into my mouth. A lunch meeting with a few other editors at the office and several more manuscripts are due to be in my inbox when I arrive. They are never sent over email. Always a hard copy in my little tray in the office that I seldom use in downtown Toronto.

               With a free morning I get uninterrupted time to clean my apartment. One of my favorite things to do. There is just such a satisfying sound when the vacuum runs over my carpet, leaving that beautiful trail. My parents bought me a Roomba for Christmas, I exchanged it for a new coffee maker. Orderliness and cleanliness cannot be made by a robot.

               By the time I’m walking into the office, precisely nine minutes early, my mood is sky high. I greet the receptionist, janitor, a copy writer and three people I don’t know as I walk to the glass enclosure of a conference room. I remember now why I prefer to work from home. The ultramodern look and feel of the office is overwhelming at times. Everything too professional and cold for my liking.

               I take my usual seat, second on the right, back to the door and carefully lay all my papers and files before me in particular order. Movement to my left comes as a surprise but doesn’t scare me.

               “Here already? I thought you liked coming to meetings fifteen minutes late?” I say without looking up from my pad of paper that I always use to take notes on.

               “All good things must come to an end,” Jake sighs, placing my usual Caramel Macchiato before me before settling himself down in the third seat to the right. “Bartello said after the last meeting that I have to be good for three months and she will clear my record.”

               I scoff and shake my drink a few times before taking a sip. “I didn’t think you were afraid of Bartello.”

               “Yeah, well, I’m more afraid of having to go back to photocopying. Worst year of my life,” he replies. I finally glance up at him when he shuffles his papers out onto the table and my eyes widen. Jake’s usual unruly hair is smoothed to the side with a clean cut and his lazy attire is now freshly pressed and his tie is actually tied.

               Jake realizes I’m staring and his cheeks turn a faint pink. “What?” He asks self-consciously, eyeing me warily.

               “Goddamn Mattias,” I exclaim and his pink turns beet red. “You look fine as hell!”

               “Would you keep your voice down,” he mumbles furiously at me, busying himself with his papers while I snicker.

               “What’s her name? Is it the new receptionist? She looks like a total sweetheart, all rosy cheeks and pretty black curls. I can see it,” I nod and smirk at his obvious discomfort.

               “It’s not the receptionist,” he snaps and I press him with a stare. He knows I won’t let it go. “You’re not going to like my answer,” he says cautiously, his eyes darting to me and to the coffee in my hand.

               “What do you mean I won’t lik-“ I freeze in my words. Jake sees the revelation in my face and I can see sweat beading on his forehead. “No no no no no no…. Jacob Oscar Mattias you had better tell me that what I’m thinking is not true.”

               Jake swallows hard and glances at the exit to our left. “Jake, you had better tell me right now that you are not dating my sister,” I lower my voice and level him with a glare. He makes a noise in the back of his throat and licks his lips nervously.

               “YOU’RE DATING MY SISTER?” I yell and he jumps in his seat before grabbing my arm and glancing again over his shoulder where two of our coworkers are looking up from their desks.

               “Would you stop yelling?” He whispers, ducking his head closer to mine. “And please don’t hit me. I still have a bruise from six days ago at the last meeting.”

               I can feel murder on my face and I know he feels it.

               “You can’t act so surprised, you knew there was something there,” he says, leaning back in his seat. Clearly taking comfort in the fact that I can’t beat him over the head with my briefcase in the middle of the office.

               “But… it’s Rian… she’s my baby sister,” I squeak. Betrayal rushing over me like a broken dam.

               “She’s not a baby, Y/N. She’s barely two years younger than us. Three more months and she graduates. It’s not a huge deal!”

               “It is so! How long?” I demand, still seething.

               “Just a few days, two dates is all,” Jake answers, more tension leaving his body.

               “So after the game then?” I ask. Rian had been so nervous during the entirety of the car ride there and back, blushing at every word Jake had said. I had just thought it was a crush thing. Never did I imagine they would act on it.

               “Yes, after the game. When you didn’t answer me the next morning right away to ask how you were feeling, I called Rian to make sure everything was okay. It all kind of spiraled from there,” Jake shrugs and I press my lips into a hard line.

               “I texted you right when I woke up! How early did you call her?”

               “I was worried about you, Y/N. Nathan and Rian aren’t the only people that love you,” he snaps at me and my heart softens a little bit. But I’m still pissed he’s probably already kissed my baby sister.

               “Don’t you try and suck up to me now Mattias,” I snap back at him and he gives me a shifty grin. “So that’s what all this is about?” I ask, mussing his hair much to his annoyance.

               “Not really,” he says, shoving my hand away and attempting to smooth his black hair back out again. “Just ready for a change.”

               I give him a skeptical look but drop the topic as our coworkers slowly start filing in.

               “This isn’t over,” I mumble to him, bringing my drink to my lips. “No matter how many macchiatos you bring me.”

               The meeting goes as usual, someone gets yelled at but it’s not me or Jake so I don’t really care. I give Jake a dirty look every chance I get and he’s always quick to look away. Once everything is done and we gather our things, walking out the door together.  

               “All your dirty looks reminded me,” Jake starts once we are out of earshot of the others and in my office. “Rian mentioned you went out with William Nylander last night?” He raises his eyebrows and flops down in one of the seats across from my desk.

               I silently curse my sister for being a blabber mouth and fix Jake with a stare as I take my own seat and pick of the stack of manuscripts waiting for me. Fanning through them I reply. “Yeah, what about it?” I decide not to lie and I realize with a pang that I have yet to text Will.

               “It just surprises me because you went out with Nathan the other night and I think he mentioned something about going to a play tonight,” Jake says slowly and I smack my forehead with the stack of papers.

               “The play!” I moan and squeeze my eyes closed. I had completely forgotten.

               “Yeah…” Jake says a bit awkwardly, which I find ironic that he considers that to be awkward when I’m pretty certain he’s had his tongue down my little sister’s throat already.

               I sigh and lean back in my chair, replacing the papers onto my desk and tilt my head to look out the window.

               “I don’t know what I’m doing, Jake,” I whisper.

               “I’ve gathered that,” he nods and I look at him in surprise when he chuckles.

               “What?”

               He hesitates a moment, looking like he’s gathering his words first. “It’s just… so unlike you I guess. You’re a person who needs to be organized and even since high school you’ve always known what you wanted.” He shrugs and leans back as well. “I just never saw you as someone who plays the field.”

               “I am not playing the field!” I retort and glare at him. “And you seem very unconcerned that this involves your best friend and there’s a possibility that things aren’t going to work out between him and me.”

               Jake shrugs again much to my annoyance. “I never have thought of you two as a couple, you’re too similar I think,” he says slowly. “Besides, I wouldn’t really consider him as my best friend as of late, I’ve hardly seen or talked to him since the game. He’s so involved in everything at school and all of his coworkers at the hospital he’s doing his practical at… I think of you as my best friend more than Nate.”

               I turn my attention back out the window, letting Jake’s words sink in. I hadn’t realized until now that Jake is right. Nathan never even mentioned Jake when we were out the other day, all he really talked about what school and what his future hopefully consisted of. I don’t even think we talked about my own work. Glancing at Jake, I see his brow bunched together as he stares blankly at my desk.

               “I don’t think that’s true, Jake,” I say gently. “I think of you as my best friend as well, you’re the person I see the most to be completely honest. But Nathan is still your friend, he just has other priorities right now. It’s like when you and I were in our program, all we pretty much saw was each other. I don’t think we left each other’s sides for sixteen weeks,” I smile at him and he hesitantly reflects it back to me.

               “Don’t think about it too much, Jakey,” I reach forward and cover his hand with my own. “Nathan will snap out of it. You still have your best friend.”

               Jake stares at our hands and slowly nods his head. I hadn’t realized how much this affected him. A little bit of guilt flashes through me about yelling at him earlier.

               “Still going to the play tonight?” He asks after a few moments his sad expression replaced with a smirk, though he doesn’t remove his hand from mine.

               “You want to come? Rian would be down I’m sure,” I say, an idea already forming in my head. It’s not a date if your little sister comes. Jake seems to know exactly what I’m thinking and frowns at me.

               “Are you even into him?” He asks bluntly.

               I stare at him in silence, taking in his bronze skin and his even darker eyes. I can see why Rian gets giddy every time I mention him. “I don’t know, Jake,” I answer truthfully. “I really don’t. I had never thought about him in that way until recently, and even now… it’s strange. But also kinda nice?” I scrunch my nose, my mind in a million places at once.

               “But you need time,” Jake says and I nod.

               “I think so.”

               “And what about Will?”

               My cheeks heat and my heart skips a beat in my chest. My physical reaction is enough for Jake to nod.

               “Much different reaction,” he muses.

               “Much,” I agree quietly. I squeeze his hand once more before wiggling the mouse to my desktop to get the screen to wake up. “So you want a ticket for tonight?”

               “Yes, ma’am. Two please,” he winks at me and I scowl even though it was my idea.

               “Keep your damn hands to yourself when I’m around,” I growl at him as he stands and makes to leave my office. “I’m going to have nightmares for weeks now.”

               Jake gives me his goofy smile, the contrast of his white teeth again his brown skin makes me envious and I hate that he used my favorite smile against me.

               “Get out of my office.”

anonymous asked:

jake and amy, 21. best friends sibling au? i'm so desperate to see amy's brothers on the show!!

OKAY B O I SORRY THIS IS TERRIBLE AND NOT PROOFREAD PLS DONT HATE ME!!!


21. best friend’s sibling au


Manny!

Amy’s head snaps up from where it was buried in her book. Not that she’s at all surprised by someone yelling in the house - growing up with seven brothers has left her mostly desensitised (and probably partially deaf) to loud noises coming from nowhere at all hours of the night. Over the years, Amy had learned to block out the incessant yammering of seven slightly insane extroverts, but this voice was different.

The disembodied voice coming from her kitchen didn’t belong to any of her brothers - four had moved out years ago and the twins were out of town, leaving just Amy and Manny at home. But Manny had class all morning and wouldn’t be home until later, which meant that – oh. She’s surprised she hadn’t recognised it immediately.

The unmistakable voice of one Jacob Peralta is echoing through her house.

Manny and Jake had met during their first semester of college and bonded instantly. Jake didn’t have a whole lot of family, and since Manny still lived at home he insisted on bringing him to all their family holiday celebrations (or as Peralta called them, Staying Up With the Santiagos) so he wouldn’t sit in his apartment watching football. It meant Jake and Amy had become… Acquainted. Out of necessity. Nothing genuine. Really.

“Manuel Victor Santiago, I will search this house –”

Dios mio,” she mutters under her breath. She bookmarks her page in A Brief History of US Politics - because not even under duress would she dog-ear a page, she’s not a savage - and slams the cover shut before crossing the room to her open door and sticking her head out to yell into the hallway. “Shut up, Peralta!”

Keep reading

Jake Gyllenhaal Imagine

Originally posted by just-jake-gyllenhaal

I’ve seen so many movies about things like this. But still almost every night I find myself in the same place. In bed with Jake. He as been a friend for a long time so staring this friends with benefits was going to be easy, wrong. It was a mistake but we just can’t stop. I can’t stop because I’m afraid I will lose him. 

There were some days we would just hang out and no bed action, but I never had the guts to tell him that. I never will, because the fear of loosing him is bigger. 

So here we were both in bed, out of breath. A silence feel over us making understand it is a sign I have to leave. Turning my body to get our of bed I was stopped by Jake. 

“Were are you going?” this question did surprised me, since usually he wouldn’t say anything and I would just leave. We would talk but he would never question my leaving. 

“Home” i answered with a laugh, trying o make this less awkward, for me. When I looked at him, his face got sad. He looked at me again. 

“You know you can stay. I’m mean it’s late and I won’t feel good about letting you go home at this hour. Stay” and I did. I smiled to myself as I put my head back down on the pillow. For a moment we laid there in silence. Then Jake turned to his side and looked at me. This made butterflies go crazy in my stomach. 

“What?” I laughed and turned to him. He was just smiling and looking at me. 

“I was wrong” an answer I didn’t expect to hear. Jake saw the panic that was rising in my eyes. “I was wrong about thinking this would be easy.” Jake didn’t take his eyes off of me and I didn’t take mine off of him. I wanted to ask him so many questions but was afraid to ask something and make him regret what he has started. So I just waited for him to keep talking. “At the start I thought that starting this benefits thing would be easy and nothing would happen.” in my mind there were only two ways this could be going. 1. He could be telling he is done with friends with benefits and done with me or 2. he wants more. And in my mind, the last one was a long shot. And I still said nothing. “I feel in love” this i didn’t expect. But I did smile hearing him say that. Something I had no control of but still was right for the moment. Jake smiled back at me and let out a long breath he had held right after saying those words. 

“Oh really?” i said moving closer to him. 

“Yes and by that beautiful smile on your lips I can tell you feel the same way” he said and with a quick move had me under him. I looked up at him 

“I love you too” finally I said the words I’ve been wanting to say for such a long time and knowing he feels the same way makes those words even better. 

Flashlight

Summary: You and Calum have been best friends for as long as you can remember and flashing the light of your rooms has become a signal that you need each other. ((this is a long one guys but I’ve been inactive for like a year so see it as a big comeback lol))

You’re 5 years old and the light flashes twice. You’re already in bed, but not yet asleep, and the flashing lights pull you out of bed and towards the window like an invisible cord. On the opposite side of your window is another window, one belonging to your neighbor. The houses are close together, in your street, and you see the familiar boy standing in front of his window.

“Did you flash the light?” you ask.

“Yes,” Calum answers. “I need to tell you a secret, but you have to promise you won’t laugh.”

You and Calum have been living next to each other your whole lives, and he’s always been your friend. You don’t even remember how you met; you assume you were just babies, because your mom is such good friends with his mom. You just know he’s always been there, and he’s always been nice to you, even though he teases his sister all the time, and surely that grants him the one wish of you not laughing.

“Okay.”

“I think there’s a monster in my room.” You notice his voice is shaky.

You frown. “Well, I can’t help you with that. Go tell your mommy and daddy. They can beat it up.” Because at 5 years old, you didn’t think there was any problem out there that couldn’t be fixed by parents.

“I already told them,” Calum says, sounding a bit annoyed with you. As if it’s your fault there’s a monster in his room. “They don’t believe me. They say I just need to go to sleep. But if I go to sleep, the monster could eat me!”

“Leave the lights on,” you offer him. “Monsters don’t like light.” You don’t know if that’s an actual fact, but you’re sure you saw it in a cartoon once.

“Mom would be mad if I left the light on.” Sure enough, Calum’s room, behind him, is dark. After flashing the light, he turned it back off.

You yawn. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about it, then.” It’s late, and you just wanna go to bed. Calum never wants to go to bed; you know that, because he always throws a tantrum when his mom tells him it’s bed time. But you like sleeping, because it lets the dreams into your head.

“Come sleep with me.” You look up in surprise, but Calum looks completely serious. “You can come over Mali’s way.”

There’s a plank of wood between your roof and Calum’s. Mali-Koa, his sister, always uses it to sneak over to your house and talk to your sister, Natalie. They’re best friends, just like you and Calum. But you’ve never used the plank, cause you’d have to climb out of your window first, and that seems scary.

You sigh. But he is your best friend. And Natalie once told you that best friends do everything for each other, so you can’t really say no. Very carefully, you swing your leg out of the window.

“Don’t be scared,” says Calum, and you shoot him an angry look.

“You’re the one that’s scared of monsters!”

He doesn’t say anything after that, and just watches you as you slowly but steadily make your way out of your house and onto the plank. As soon as you reach his window, his tiny hands wrap around your arms and help you into his room.

You’re not scared of monsters. You know that if the monster really was dangerous, one of your cartoon hero’s would come to save you. But you’re still a little nervous, so you quickly jump onto the bed.

Everyone knows monsters that live under beds can’t come out from under them.

Calum joins you, a content look on your face. “You know,” he says, “I won’t forget this. You’re gonna be my best friend forever and ever.”

“Yeah,” you smile, “forever and ever.” And you close your eyes.

————————————————————————-

You’re 7 years old and the light flashes twice. Normally it’s Calum using the emergency call, but this time you have no other option. All you can do is hope he’ll answer.

He does; within seconds he appears in front of his window and opens it. It’s raining, tonight, big droplets of water crashing down onto your roofs.

“What’s wrong?” he says with a worried tone in his voice, when he sees you. You’ve been crying, and your eyes are red and your face is blotched and you can barely get the words out of your mouth.

Keep reading

200 FOLLOWERS!

i just hit two hundred followers and i can’t believe it. i started this blog about two months ago, and i never would have thought of getting this far. thank you all so much for welcoming me into the choices fandom. even though there’s some drama, i can’t think of a better fandom i’d rather be apart of. i have the best time discussing the books and characters, and reblogging amazing fanfics, fanart, and edits.

i don’t have something big planned, but i felt like giving shoutouts to these fantastic people would make up for it. thank you guys again! ❤️

@everythingchoices

@endlessflame

@endless-jake

@ellaxohacks

@rnaxwellbeaumont

@topgunsprincess

@thatchoicesblog

@itsagoodluckkiss

@ohmysnarkydrake

@pb-boeboe

@stephschoices

@stellabeaumont

@sereenaspatel

@faded-hero

@hanaslee

@hashtaglovehacks

@hanalees

@jakemcspooky

@jakestan

@jessicamckenzie

@jakemckenji

@jakexmc

@karapowell

@kamybelen-blog

@kennaxval

@lanapowellblog

@luna-gayle

@zig-ortega

@zigthebarista

@craighsiao

@nerdy-twin

@mynameisntdaisy

@maxwellscronuts

why “cop con” is the best episode ever
  • we learn that jake had a fucking ponytail
  • eight drink amy is an EQUESTRIAN
  • “terry starfishing on a california king”
  • gina and amy extreme brotp content !!!!
  • SCULLY FINDS LOVE
  • jake and charles not wanting to admit they’re over 35 and using 90s slang to blend in with The Kids
  • JAKE CASUALLY ASKING TO BORROW $200 FROM AMY AND HER SAYING YES WITHOUT MISSING A BEAT
  • the tasing challenge. we tase each other. then drink. 
  • GINA AND AMY HELPING SCULLY AND BONDING 
  • AMY SHUSHING EVERYONE
  • “so like a sexy librarian.” “no. a REGULAR ONE. 😍
  • charles getting jealous of jake’s new robot partner
  • hungover jake serving LOOKS
  • “whyth my thongue tho big?” 
  • terry setting jake on FIRE causing him to scream “IM A HUMAN TORCH” then JUMPING IN TO A PUBLIC POOL
  • charles drunkenly telling the robot “you think you’re better than me….you’re right.”
  • TERRY PICKING UP JAKE AND SPINNING HIM AROUND
  • “looking good diaz.” “…..bite me.”
  • THE PICTURES.
  • JAKE AND TERRY CHUGGING VODKA OUT THE BOTTLE
  • CHARLES ON A KEG
  • GINA AND AMY POPPIN BOTTLES !!!
  • “oh. detective diaz filling an iron with tequila.” “?? so i can make tequila steam.”
  • holt confessing that he wants in on their fun !!!
  • jake taking holt and the squad to the thermometer museum :’)
  • THE CUTE GROUP PICTURE AT THE END I LOVE MY FAMILY 
Happier || H2o Delirious + Others

Originally posted by an-unchosen-username


Words: 1991

Fandom: Vanoss and others

A/N: Obviously not all of them are here because there are only a certain amount of things I can write about.

H2o Delirious: “.Saw you walk inside a bar He said something to make you laugh”

You walked into the local bar with your date laughing and joking around. “Then he did a runner.” You giggled, to be perfectly honest you weren’t listening to what he was saying you were just finally happy to get off the sofa and go out for a while. You had broken up with your long term boyfriend Jon and this was the first time you’d been out in a while. “Thanks for this.” You said taking your drink and sipping it. “I really needed it.” You were too busy with your date you didn’t notice that Jon was in the same place as you, he was with Luke. “She looks so happy.” He said drinking his beer and looking to his friend. “She looks happier with you mate.” Del sighed drinking the rest before heading to the bathroom. That’s when you decided you needed to go to. You walked to the small hallway leading to the bathrooms, you got out your phone to check your notifcations when you bumped into someone. “I’m sorry.” You said looking up and seeing him. Everything came flooding back, the fights, the sex, the feelings you started tearing up. “D-Del?” He cleared his throat. “Hey Y/N.” You scoffed shaking your head and rushing into the toilets. You threw your purse on the sink and lent against the side taking deep breaths. It was bad that just one look from him and everything was different. He used to stop the panic attack and right now he was the cause of one. You started breathing heavily and fell to the floor pulling your knees to your chest and doing your best to breath. You eventually stared crying and it was pretty loud. “Y/N?!” You heard someone knock on the door but you couldn’t speak you were too busy. You closed your eyes tightly letting the tears flow and you rocked back and forth still feeling like you were drowning. “Y/N!” Luke yelled running into the room and handed you some water. He steadied you and made you look at him. “Del!” He yelled to the door. You closed your eyes again, this was all you needed. “Del come quick.” Luke said getting up and leaving you alone again.
“Y/n?” Jon asked sitting down in front of you, you slowly lifted your head from your knees and you looked at him. “Come on come on.” He said, you didn’t even it give it a second thought you just crawled into his arms, you laid down on the floor, head on his lap and stroked your back. “It’s okay, it’s okay.” He whispered kissing your head. He rubbed your back in small circles and you cried silently. When you finally calmed down you stood up checking yourself in the mirror. “Sorry.” You said taking the tissue he was holding and wiping your eyes. “It’s fine.” He said sorting out his jeans and jacket. “I’d say it’s what I’m here for but I’m not.” You sighed and threw the tissue away. “I should probably go see my date.” You went to walk out but he caught your wrist. “Luke saw him leave…with another girl.” You looked down at your wrist and saw his hand. He was still wearing the matching bracelet you both had. “You still wear it?” You asked him. “Yeah…you don’t though.” You shook your head and bent down lifting up your leggings and showing him the ‘His Princess’ bracelet. “It never fit me properly so I made it into an anklet.” He chuckled and then came the awkward silence. “I should go home.” He nodded in agreement. “I’ll drive you for old times sake.” You smiled and walked towards the exit together.

Miniladd: ’'I saw you in another’s arms Only a month we’ve been apart You look happier’’

You took a break standing in the park. You had just finished another run for the day and you needed a breathier. You took out your phone from the running band and dialled your best friends number. “I’ll be home in like ten save me some-” You stopped looking over at someone you never thought you would see again. “Y/N?” You friend asked over the phone but you didn’t hear her, everything around you was silent and all you saw was him. “Y/N!” She screamed making you jump. “Yeah sorry.” You said turning around and not facing him. “What’s wrong?” She asked instantly knowing. “He’s here.” She sighed. “You need to get over him, he left you.” You nodded letting a tear roll down your cheek. “He’s with someone.” She sighed again. “Probably cheated.” You frowned. “HE’S NOT LIKE THAT!” You yelled and then clapped your hand over your mouth. “It’s been a month Y/N get over it.” She hung up and you slipped your ear phones back in and put your phone back into the band. She’s right. You thought over and over. You needed to get over him. He was clearly happier without you.

VanossGaming:’'Baby you look happier, you do I knew one day you’d fall for someone new But if he breaks your heart like lovers do Just know that I’ll be waiting here for you’’

You giggled and continued playing the racing game, You had beaten your date and you were now playing a fan of your channel. “Damn.” He said to you. “You’re amazing.” You nodded and hugged him. “I know.” He chuckled and got a photo with you. “Thanks for playing with me, how’s Vanoss?” That was the question on everyones lips. To be honest you had no idea. Since the day he broke it off you had no clue. “He’s good.” You lied before stepping down and meeting your date. “Sucks that you too broke up you were so cute.” You laughed about it and walked away with your boyfriend behind you. “Who was he talking about?” You looked back at him before looking at the floor. “Just my ex-” You bumped into a torso. “Evan?” You asked looking into his eyes. “Y.N!” He yelled hugging you tightly, you hugged back and lent your head into his neck. It was like nothing had changed. “What’s it been? A year?” He asked still hugging you. You pulled away and nodded. “Yeah! I’ve missed you.” You blurted out before clapping your hand over your mouth. “Missed ya too spud, who’s this?” He asked looking at your boyfriend. “Oh yeah, this is Jake.” You said introducing them. “Jake this is Evan, Evan this is Jake.” They shook hands. “Her boyfriend.” Jake said to Evan and Evan looked at you with a raised eye brow. “Wow.” You looked at the floor. You knew what he was thinking. Jake wasn’t your type. He was more into the Gym than playing video games. “We should get going babe, don’t wanna miss my gym time.” You nodded. “You go ahead.” You handed him the hotel key card. “I;ll catch up, I’ve still got some games to play.” He went to kiss you but you hugged him instead. “So Jake?” You looked at Evan and shook your head. “Don’t.” He held his hands up. “I won’t.” You looked at the floor. “He’s not your type.” You shook your head. “Nope.” He sighed and you both stopped walking. “Then why are you with him?” You looked at the ground, anywhere was better than his face. “He makes me happy?” He chuckled. “That sounded more like a question but listen, if he breaks your heart I’ll be here.” You looked into his eyes and slowly lent in, he did the same and your lips touched. It was sending sparks up and down your body and you wrapped your arms around the back of his neck and stood on your tip toes deepening the kiss.

Cartoonz: Sat in the corner of the room Everything’s reminding me of you  

Sipping on the tea in the local coffee shop you looked around. You were in the corner like usual. This was yours and his spot. This was the shop you first met in and it was the shop where it all ended in. You had your first kiss with him in the toilets and when he asked you out it was in this corner. You sipped your tea again hoping the memories would wash away but they never did. You tried to drink in other cafe’s but they weren’t the same. You didn’t know what it was, maybe it was the fact of the memories that made the tea taste better. The door chimed and you looked over, instantly regretting it. Your eyes met and he smiled at you. You looked down at the tea before leaving some money and getting up to leave. You picked up your bag and left without looking back.
You lent against the brick wall around the corner and took a deep breath. “Y/N?” You looked to your left and saw Luke. “What is it Luke?” You asked looking anywhere but him. “You left your coat and it’s cold.” He wrapped it around you and you moved away from him. “Y/N I did what was best for us.” You shook your head. “No Luke, you did what was best for you. Like always.” You said before walking off and leaving the love of your life behind.

BryceGames: 'Cause baby you look happier, you do My friends told me one day I’ll feel it too And until then I’ll smile to hide the truth But I know I was happier with you’’

You stood against the wall at a party you had been invited to. Ohm said it would do you some good to get out of the house and go but you knew that Bryce would be here and you weren’t ready to see him just yet. You knew he would be bringing his date and you weren’t ready for that either. You looked down at the floor when Vanoss walked over to you. “Come and drink with me.” He said wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you further into the room. “I don’t think thats a good idea.” You said taking the cup he was holding out for you. “Whiskey.” He said to you before downing some himself. You put the cup down and looked around the room. “He’s outside.” He whispered to you before walking off. You looked down at your watch and walked over to Ohm. “I’m going home.” He shook his head hugging you tightly. “You just got here though!” You gave him a fake smile and he saw right through it. He took you out front to the porch and sat down with you on the seat swing. “It’s going to get better, you’ll be happy just like him.” You gave another fake smile playing with your nails. “I just don’t see how it’s possible right now, at one point he was the only reason I even smiled.” He sighed hugging you and rubbing your arms. “It’s going to be fine. You’ll be happier soon.” You watched him walk to the door. “You coming?” You shook your head. “I just want some fresh air.” You lied before sitting back in the swing and swinging it. You looked up at the sky and looked at the stars. This was something you both used to do at parties, just look at the stars and cuddle. “Y/n?” You jolted forward and stopped everything. Hearing his voice was breaking you. “Bryce.” You said standing up. “I was just leaving.” You said noticing his girlfriend with him. “you don’t need to do that.” He said looking at you, he didn’t even introduce you. It was like it was just you and him stood there. She cleared her throat and pulled his arm. “You should go to the party,” You said looking at them both. “Lovely meeting you.” You said to her before running off down the driveway and heading home.

anonymous asked:

Dirk Strider is made out of love, prince of my heart, i love him so much.

You didnt ask for this but you put Dirk and love in the same sentence and this is what i’ve been thinking about so lets go

Im gonna ramble about how much Dirk would love John Egbert and Jade Harley like, instantly, he did conceptually before he even met them but the instant they meet Dirk is permanently owned and has that many more people he’d happily die for because: Dirk loves Jane and Jake more than life itself, and John and Jade are…their kids basically. And early on Dirk cannot unsee that. 

The biggest treason this fandom has ever committed to my person is ignoring the fact that Dirk Strider would fucking melt himself to death even looking at John Egbert or Jade Harley and deconstructing all the little ways they’re like Jake and Jane and thinking about his typical self-loathing shit like “god those two would’ve been so happy together I’m such an ass for getting in the way look at them their kids are perfect they’re so good–”  

before Jake like puts his arm around Dirk’s shoulders and all thoughts immediately stop if they’re dating again, it’s probably a source of great angst for Dirk before they are and one of the bigger reasons he stays away. Maybe Jake and Jane will get the idea and be happy together. Someone write this for me thanks. 

Anyway that got too sad so back to Dirk’s relationship with the ectokids. 

Early on in Earth C John gets the impression Dirk hates him early on and pranks him pretty hard and often but while it kind of annoys Dirk when all his meticulously set up horsecam figurines get their heads swapped (and john breaks some of them in the process) he’s mostly just reminded that things with him and Jane are still awkward enough that he hasn’t gotten this from HER and he’s a torn up bag of “Fuck I miss her” and “Fuck I can’t believe how much I care about her goober ecto-son already” and NONE of this gets across his stoic demeanor so all john gets is that poker face. It takes them fucking forever to be actual friends and I’m not sure what does it but its probably the formidable teamwork of Jake and Dave who get sick of the awkwardness eventually. 

Meanwhile Dirk is 100% in awe of and terrified of disappointing Jade Harley who he A) cannot stop thinking about as JAKE’S GRANDMA and “OH GOD WHAT IF SHE DISSAPROVES WHAT IF I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH WHAT IF-”- and B) Cannot stop thinking about as SO MUCH like Jane it kills him. She’s so no-nonsense and down to business and whenever he starts rambling too much about philosophy or some bullshit she just looks at him like … and he’s like “Ok I’ll shut up.”  The way Jade moves in a science lab is EXACTLY like Jane moves in a kitchen (or later, a business meeting) and Dirk knows because he learned the ins and outs of that movement by heart across so many video cam sessions growing up. Everything about Jade Harley destroys Dirk and he thinks she’s the fucking coolest and there’s basically no part of him that didn’t love her from the word go 

Dirk manages to work up the will to keep everyone else (but Jake) out of his private garage but not Jade, Dirk’s got all this futuretech practice and as SOON as Jade catches wind of this she’s like “Hey dirk! Alt!Callie handed me the secrets of the universe and basically i need a bigger workshop and better science can you help me out” and that’s basically his main project for the next two years is catching Jade up on 400 years of scientific progress (Jake tags along) and having to work on his weirdo animatronic shit that he was GOING to use his garage for originally in like, one of the cramped floors of Jake’s jungle globe instead

But it’s fine cause it makes Jade happy and getting to be helpful to Jade is like a dream come fucking true and Jake is so happy whenever he and Jade get to talking about some interesting intersection of philosophy and science or furries or whatever. The first time Jade gives him a friendly smack on the back Dirk jumps so hard he hits the roof.

Give Dirk Strider love thanks 

Star Trek: DS9 Notes - S6, Vol. 5

Hello hello Tarra Treks is BACK! Read ‘em and weep, I sure did by the end.

6x20 ‘His Way’
- Netflix: “Bashir shows off his new holosuite character, a 1960s Las Vegas singer who performs in a lounge full of martini-swilling customers.”
  me out loud: “Why are you like this.”
- what is this boozy Mad Men fantasy
- it’s actually SO STRANGE to see them all in here in their uniforms!
- “pretty sweet pipes for a lightbulb” oh I like this, I like that he knows?? weird, weird and fun!

Julian is criminally pleased with himself and his preternaturally astute holographic lounge singer

- wait are Kira and Shakaar an on-again-off-again? since when?
- Julian: “He knows about love, life, women!”
  Miles: “Three things you know nothing about.”
  Julian: “Now that’s a little unfair.”
  hey if you knew about life you wouldn’t have walked right into that one
- hold up, I just realized I’m watching Quark give Odo relationship advice. QUARK AND ODO. TALKING ABOUT ♡
- Odo: “Who asked for your opinion?”
  Quark: “You did. I came here to talk about a missing shipment of groat clusters.”
- please tell me what is in a Warp Core Breach
- I SAID THAT AND THEN QUARK PULLED OUT A LITERAL FISHBOWL

this is incredible

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Head canons for jake pining after rich?

I honestly thought about pining Jake for 4 hours straight yesterday so

-“Hey Jake what do you think of rich?” “Rich? Haha you mean the love of my life?” “Uh bro wha-” “in a no homo way of course!!!”

- you know the bro duet? Yeah that’s richjake

-speaking of that rich actually did drown once and Jake gave him cpr and rich keeps joking that kissed even tho he never actually gave him mouth to mouth

-Jake sometimes wishes he did tho but he was freaking out at the time

-jake throws parties specifically to invite rich and have bro time in his room with beer and tv reruns

-jake has no idea how to flirt around rich and basically asks “yo wanna watch me do like football shit”

-“I mean you have a nice ass bro no homo” “you know Jake saying no homo doesn’t make it less gay” “can’t a straight guy appreciate his attractive friends looks?”

-when he thinks about rich he plays with the sleeves of his hoodie

-will never admit it but he shows up to lunch early just to sit next to rich

-eventually they do this thing where they hang on the roof during lunch and it’s pretty much the only reason Jake still shows up to school

-chloe once told him that rich was into smart guys so Jake panicked and told rich “if two guys were on the moon and one died would that be fucked up or what?” Because I mean that’s deep bro

-chloe just wanted to prove to Chloe that he wanted to impress rich

- “hey Jake I need a ride-” “*already in rich’s front lawn* say no more”

-“Jake maybe you have a crush on rich don’t you think” “what!! No!! I just think he’s the greatest, most attractive, funniest guy ever and that he makes life better by just being around him and- mother fucker…”

-rich once called him hot and he wouldn’t stop ranting about it to Chloe for a week “WHAT DOES IT MEAN?! DOES HE LIKE ME”

-one day rich talked about how weird Jake was acting when they were hanging out at sbarro “he was all red, is he hiding something? Is he dying?” And christine explained that sbarro is where Jake takes dates

-rich had to ask him out because Jake was dodging every possible moment