Meet the Philadelphia Flyers. Okay, sure, they’re known as the Broad Street Bullies. And that they are. But off the ice? Honestly they’re just all children.
Bam. Exhibit A. Michael del Zotto and Ryan White (We’ll miss you, Whitey. Have fun in ‘Zona). The third episode of Stall Talk with MDZ involved a giant panda, a carousel, and a whole lot of laughing. Honestly. Try to watch them and not smile.
Y’all I don’t even care that Danny B isn’t on the team anymore. Because technically he’s always going to be a Flyer. But anyway look at this dork. Simmer there too being a dork. Gosh. Why are they so adorable. Someone help.
This is the best defensemen (fight me) in the league. With his dog, Cooper, on his head. Wow. Shayne Gostisbehere, we love you (mainly because you single handedly basically saved our sorry rear ends and also wear your dog as a hat).
Did we honestly expect anything else from these two? Michael del Zotto and Michael Raffl. Honestly. Team Picture Day. I’m just wow. They have more hair products than I, a female, do. And orange towels. I can’t handle them. Dorks.
These pictures are a tribute to most childish of all, our beloved captain, Claude Giroux. Alright, come on. If you don’t love him, you’re wrong. Guys. Look. Honestly. He’s carrying his dog in a backpack. He’s playing cards with Michael Waffle on an airplane, it looks like. Everyone loves him, tbh. Don’t deny it.
Okay, so, yeah, this is on the ice. But guys. Look at Laughts being all adorable. Who gave him permission to do this? I’m telling y’all, we’re just a bunch of kids.
Here’s one of our star goalies. With his dog, who’s name is George. Guys, I’m absolutely screaming. I’d like to thank Mase’s wife/girlfriend for this. Wow. Dork.
Here’s my tribute to Austrian child Michael Raffl. I love him so much. He can’t wrap presents for beans. I would pay money to get a gift wrapped by him, tbh.
Here’s Matt Read. And Claude Giroux, which you could barely see because he’s so well camouflaged. Matt has that face “he’s back there doing it again, isn’t he? Gosh dang it, G, we’ve talked about this. I can’t believe you.” I love these people
Where do I even begin with these two. Honestly. I don’t know where to start. Jake, what does this even mean? Wayne, how do you put up with him? I love you both so much. I’m not sure it’s healthy, but I do anyway. Gosh dang kids.
Here’s more Jake Voracek. You guys. I can’t even with him. Look at that cheeser. I’m absolutely crying. You can see he just loves to laugh. I love him.
Again, Whitey being a dork. He’s going to be missed so much. There aren’t many other guys with this much heart. Wow. He just went out there and had fun.
Anyway, that’s just part of the NHL’s Gosh Dang Team of Children. Thank you for listening.
The fuck B. Schenn? Late hit on Coots? Yeah, you play on another team now but that doesn’t mean be a fucking ass to someone who’s been one of your best friends and teammates for years.
Also, if we fucking lose Coots because of you, I will cheer my ass off when Wayne feeds you your teeth with his fists because he will. He wanted to already and the only reason he didn’t the minute he saw Coots on the ice was that Jake stopped him.