“I’m a better person. Before I fell for Katie, I thought the same way I’m sure plenty of you all do. I thought gay guys were shopping buddies and I thought gay girls had it easy. But I happen to know that my friend Jake hates shopping, and these past few months have been the hardest of my life. Being gay isn’t easy. Being bi isn’t easy. I wasn’t exactly loved by everyone before I came out, but I didn’t know that I could be hated by as many people as I’ve felt hated by since. And I didn’t do anything! I just loved another girl”
“I’m a better person. Before I fell for Katie, I thought the same way I’m sure plenty of you all do. I thought gay guys were shopping buddies and I thought gay girls had it easy. But I happen to know that my friend Jake hates shopping, and these past few months have been the hardest of my life. Being gay isn’t easy. Being bi isn’t easy.”
We need a Jazekiel fanfiction with a siren.
One sneaks into the library and targets Ezekiel. Obviously it looks like a slightly taller off brand Stone and after chasing it away the group of course turn around and point it out.
Ezekiel denys any meaning behind the resemblance with arbitrary excuses like
- Jakes hair is way worse than the male sirens was
-The sirens plaid shirt was easily designer and Jakes are from thrift shops
-Yeah they both had blue eyes but Jakes are dark and the sirens were sky blue.
This continues for at least an hour before everyone just smirks and wanders off with knowing smiles.
Jake was just standing shocked and amused in the corner.
A week later the siren appears again and targets Jake.
They defeat it again.
They all expect Jake to argue like Ezekiel did, he just shrugs and says, ‘its pretty accurate.’
Ezekiel stammers an elegant, ‘huh ’
Jake bites back a laugh and replies, 'I hardly need a siren to tell me I like men.’
Ezekiel sighs in relief cause he isn’t mentioning the very obvious siren/thief resemblance, until Jake continues with, 'or you.’
Ezekiel falls off his chair and practically chokes on whatever junk food he was eating.
The others hover watching wishing they had popcorn.
Jake smirks, and wanders off with a knowing wink saying, 'I’m sure yours was just coincidence though.’
It takes Ezekiel less than ten seconds before he’s hopped up and taken off after Stone.
The others hear a dull thud, followed by Ezekiels high slightly squeaky voice going, 'you can’t just tell a bloke that, then vanish.’
There is silence, the others all peak round and start exchanging money as they see Jazekiel snogging.
Later on Jenkins hands the siren (looking like Charlene) a roll of bills, and thanks her for her help matchmaking.
Jake Gyllenhaal and Ellen Greene performing “Suddenly, Seymour” from Little Shop of Horrors on July 2nd 2015 in NYC. (I’m so sorry I missed the first two and a half lines of the song, I don’t know what happened. I was probably too busy being in a trance because of Jake tbh)