jake england

International Call-ups (March 2017)

Senior (13)

  • Belgium: Simon Mignolet, Divock Origi
  • Brazil: Philippe Coutinho, Roberto Firmino
  • England: Nathaniel Clyne, Adam Lallana
  • Estonia: Ragnar Klavan 
  • Germany: Emre Can
  • Netherlands: Georginio Wijnaldum
  • Senegal: Sadio Mané
  • Serbia: Lazar Marković
  • Wales: Danny Ward, Ben Woodburn

U21s (5)

  • Australia: Jake Brimmer
  • England: Joe Gomez
  • Ireland: Corey Whelan
  • Scotland: Ryan Fulton
  • Serbia: Marko Grujić

U19s (3)

  • England: Trent Alexander-Arnold 
  • ROI: Caoimhin Kelleher, Conor Masterson

U17s (3)

  • England: Rhian Brewster
  • Portugal: Rafael Camacho
  • ROI: Glen McAuley

Liam 2.0 Goes Live

Forged in the fires of personal tragedy, the people’s champion emerges. Okay so we may be a little premature in dubbing Liam the people’s champion but, whether he realizes or not, he certainly seems to be heading down that road. This video, which spread like wildfire shortly after popping up on YouTube, shows the Prince speaking candidly about his family and his hopes for the monarchy.

Liam speaks earnestly and with grace of people that have been lost and people that have lost their way, he acknowledges his father’s choice to do away with the monarchy but questions it, “I love England with all my heart. And while my father was on a path towards a republic, I know in my heart that this monarchy can be relevant and inspiring and visionary again. I truly do.” These are the contemplative, optimistic, and determined words of a young man, a young leader, coming into his own. Quite a change from the Former Future King’s last viral video… bow and arrow anyone?

As inspiring as we find this we have to ask, could this be a publicity stunt by the monarchy? It may be a cynical question but positioning Liam as the white knight to Cyrus’s joker is a genius PR move. Our gut is telling us the Prince would never go along with such a stunt and we want to believe it. If that’s the case, if this is Liam in his purest form, then who does the offscreen voice belong to and what is her role in all of this? Perhaps it’s Wilhelmina. What do you think, off the cuff or carefully crafted? Were you inspired?

Footmen of the Footwear

And the award for largest shoe collection in the Kingdom goes to…

Princess Eleanor? Victoria Beckham? One of the Made in Chelsea brats? No, no, and no. It’s not even the bloody Queen. Who then? King Cyrus.

Surprise surprise, our dreadful dandy King has more shoes than the Queen herself. As if that’s not heinous enough, word on the street is he’s hiring an army of male models footmen to break them in.

Earlier this week, the Palace reached out to the world’s top modeling agencies to fill a number of classified positions. Our inside source confirmed that this is indeed a casting call to find King Cyrus a band of beautiful bodies for the task of breaking in brogues. The chosen eye candy candidates will serve the king by traversing the palace halls in his majesty’s soles for up to 12 hours per day. Heaven forbid a stiff sole ever touch that pampered pansy’s paws.

All we can say is good luck to you boys, and don’t forget to put little pep in your step. We hear the King is partial to enthusiasm.