jaguar jones

There was a spot right in front of the 7-11. At 8am on an August 3rd, that was a humdinger. So P.O. Velvet Jones pulled her ‘67 forest green Jaguar XKE nose first into the slot. Her usual breakfast after the midnight shift; coffee, black, two sugars and a pack of Parliaments. No frills, no carbs. How she managed the Jag, cherry in and cherry out, on a salary of $3,300 a month was a secret she maintained like a Buddhist monk. Best to keep certain info close to her Kate Moss-like chest. As she sidled her J-Lo bottom out of the leather bucket seat, the well oiled door opening easily, the knucklehead perps Damian Lethridge and his side-kick Cole Hand, come wobbling jinkily out the glass doors. BAM BAM BAM. Three shots from a sawed off 12 gauge, the first two taking Damian out in a spray of blood and guts, the third splattering Hand onto the front of the Jag where his gold crucifix was now scratching the paint as he slid dead to the ground. “Damn!”

– Amos Poe, “American Expectations” 

TOP 25 NFL ACTIVE RUSHING TOUCHDOWN LEADERS

1. Adrian Peterson (2007- ) – 86 
2. Maurice Jones-Drew (2006- ) – 68 
3. Willis McGahee (2004- ) – 65 
4. Steven Jackson (2004- ) – 62 
5. Brandon Jacobs (2005- ) – 60 
5. Frank Gore (2005- ) – 60 
7. Marshawn Lynch (2007- ) – 58 
8. Chris Johnson (2008- ) – 50 
9. DeAngelo Williams (2006- ) – 46 
10. Arian Foster (2009- ) – 45 
11. BenJarvus Green-Ellis (2008- ) – 42 
12. LeSean McCoy (2009- ) – 39 
13. Ronnie Brown (2005- ) – 38 
14. Rashard Mendenhall (2008) – 37 
14. Ray Rice (2008- ) – 37 
16. Michael Vick (2001- ) – 36 
17. Matt Forte (2008- ) – 35 
18. Ahmad Bradshaw (2007- ) – 34 
19. Reggie Bush (2006- ) – 33 
20. Mike Tolbert (2008- ) – 32 
21. Michael Bush (2008- ) – 29 
21. Jamaal Charles (2008- ) – 29 
23. Cam Newton (2011- ) – 28 
23. Fred Jackson (2007- ) – 28
25. Jonathan Stewart (2008- ) – 27