Forced Reunification?

Yesterday’s home visit was at 4:30pm because our DSS worker was headed to Jag’s aunt & uncle’s in the evening for their first official meeting re: possible living situation.

Jag knew this, and though she’s never talked to me about it straight up, was very vocal with DSS that she does NOT want to live there. She said she wants to live with Grandma when Grandma is well enough to go back to her own trailer, but not while she is sharing a house with these other people. She had a couple of reasons for this, but I think everyone (CASA worker, foster care worker and DSS) were a bit thrown off because at the last FPM (when Grandma first brought up the aunt/uncle being ok with it), Jag had said nothing. 

DSS then asked what she’d like her Plan B to be (Grandma being Plan A), and Jag said there wasn’t a Plan B because Mom doesn’t want her and neither does anybody else. “What about just staying here?” they asked, and Jag kind of shrugged and made some sort of comment about how she didn’t know what I was going to do with my life, etc. Anyways, they dropped it, but it was a LOT for me to process. Not because I wouldn’t love for her to stay, but because aunt/uncle are really the only viable options at this point unless Grandma makes a miraculous recovery. Would the system make her move if she doesn’t want to? 

To be fair, it’s entirely possible that aunt/uncle said no at last night’s meeting, anyways. They’re not the most dependable of people. Which obviously means I will be checking my messages obsessively all day for an update.

anonymous asked:

I'm assuming that if the goal is kindship reunification with Grandmom/Aunt&Uncle that JAG's mom is going to be TPR'd regardless of what final placement ends up becoming. If you have concerns about adopting her what about establishing legal guardianship of her? There'd be no need for name or birth cert changes or anything that, on her end, might emotionally seem like she needs to cut ties with her family or change your relationship. It'd really be what you have now, just permanent.

Yeah, I don’t know what will happen with Mom’s rights. I will say that if I adopted her I’d still want her to continue having some sort of relationship with Mom anyways, especially given that her siblings are babies and live with her. As for guardianship… It is my understanding that I wouldn’t receive any financial support if I did that. Whereas with both fostering and adoption I would. As a teacher and a single parent, I would not be able to raise her without the financial support I receive now. It is an unfortunate reality.

anonymous asked:

Do you want JAG to stay with you long term? Would you be open to adoption? What about May if it comes to that? Reunification doesn’t sounds likely for either...

I would adopt Jag for sure. Likely May, too. But I imagine it’s a tough thing for Jag to consider, given that she already has a Mom who she sees weekly. I don’t know if she’d ever see me as “mom”, you know? May has a mom in her home country, too, who might petition to have her sent there. Her case is both simpler and more complicated. I do think being with me is the best option for Jag (and May? I don’t know her yet, really) if reunification doesn’t happen, though. I am confident in my ability to love, and while that isn’t everything, it does go a long way.


I finally built the two bookshelves I had ordered a few weeks ago, and got my books out of boxes. Super late, I know - we moved a month and a half ago. Anyways, I ordered an 8x10 collage of Jag and Jag & me pics and set it next to my other frames on one of the bookshelves. I sent her a snap about it (she was with Grandma this weekend) to gauge her reaction, but she never responded. I figured she didn’t like it. 

Later, when she got home, she went straight for the frame and made jokes about how bad she looked in some of the pictures and how she would have to hide the thing when people came over. I joked back and took it as a neutral sort of acceptance. 

A few minutes ago, though, when I was doing dishes in the kitchen, I heard her on facetime with the boyfriend: “Look! It’s all me! She loves me.”

I super cautiously snuck a look around the wall AND SHE WAS HOLDING HER PHONE TO THE COLLAGE SO HER BOYFRIEND COULD SEE IT.

Originally posted by crystalmoonxo