jacquelyne

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Jacquelyn Jablonski, Emily Didonato, Amanda Murphy, Sasha Luss, Ola Rudnicka, Riley Montana, Maja Salamon, Gigi Hadid and Jing Wen by Daniel Sannwald for Antidote S/S 2015.

Fashion editor: Yann Weber
Hair stylists: Franco Gobbi, Ken O'Rourke and Tomohiro Ohashi
Makeup artists: Ayami Nishimura, Dotti, Maud Laceppe, Isamaya Ffrench and Adrien Pinault
Manicurists: Charlene Coquard and Dawn Sterling

A few thoughts you didn’t ask for

The indignation at Parks’ decision to have “everyone end up married with kids” never made sense to me. It was solely focused on April decision to have kids, but I do not believe that that decision was out of character. April has always needed a little push when it comes to change, when it comes to the decisions in her life. She needed guidance on growing up and getting dishes, she needed guidance on changing jobs, she needed reassurance that taking that job was okay and she needed a final push to actually decide if she wanted kids. Leslie didn’t say April needed to have kids to be complete. She didn’t tell April that Andy needed them. She told April that she could handle the change they would bring. She reminded April that she had a good team and if she decided to have kids everything would be okay.

This struggle for April is in character. It is a critical part of who she is. The problem wasn’t the kids themselves but the change that comes along with them.

Pay attention to what April actually freaks out about in her rant: “You know why it is so unfair? Because you guys got so lucky. You had sex one time and you had three kids and they’re all smart and great and healthy. And now your lives are perfect, but our life is pretty perfect already. And you know what? Kids act the opposite of their parents that’s why your kids are so cool! But Andy and I are cool already so our kids will be really lame and weird! I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do. Please tell me what to do. What do I do?”

You know what that sounds like? It sounds a lot like a 13 years younger April freaking out about becoming a boring grown up. She has an aversion to change. It doesn’t make her less. It makes her human and it makes it even more special that she has great people around her to help her through the change at her own pace.

Andy didn’t push her either. Ben says, “So April is still on the fence about kids?” That implies that there was never a formal decision made. The “position” was established back in Season five where April stated, “I want to wait until we’re fifty and then adopt a set of creepy adult twins from Romania.”

That’s April’s weird way of saying she wants them but not for a very, very long time.

I truly believe we should be celebrating this character development instead of tearing it down. It’s an important avenue to explore for woman. The idea that sometimes we really do not know what we want. We don’t have to make a decision if we want kids at 15 or 20 or 25 or 30 or 35 or 40. We can remain open to the idea. We can change our minds. We can adapt to our partner’s needs and wants (adapting is different than adopting let me be clear). We are allowed to decide after 30 years of never wanting kids that we want them now. We can decide after 25 years of daydreaming about motherhood that the actual reality is not for us. It is crucial that we retain authority over our own future for the entirety of it. There’s nothing wrong with not having a definite answer to such an overwhelming question. I believe it is a terrible disservice we do to other woman to lock them into decisions. We have the ability to change our minds or to be as undecided as we want. We also have the ability to make a decision about our future and stick to it.

Kids and motherhood are massive decisions. They’re our decisions, our contracts. They’re made one woman at a time. That timeline is solely property of that individual person and the decision can remain as flexible as she chooses. There’s room for footnotes or clauses. There’s also room for permanent seals. Let’s stop putting so much pressure and judgement on each other’s decisions or lack there of.

I’m glad Parks decided to depict a woman without a real clear idea of what she wants. It’s refreshing to see apprehension and worry at the complexity of this massive decision we all face.