jackass one

Hey, James? Just a little friendly advice….

If you want to ride Louis’ coattails to fame you should maybe not imply his fans (ya know, the fans you want to buy your shit) are grudge-holding conspiracy nuts. That’s not exactly the best way to win people over.

You may have grown in some ways, but you still sound like the same condescending asshole you’ve always been.

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[ one can only imagine lol hope you enjoy and thank you for requesting!! ]

Rated (SM) for slightly mature.


Seokjin 

➸ There was nothing rushed during your little shower session, Jin was definitely going to take his time with you. Thankful he had time off to spend with you, he wanted to make it last for a long as he could - from slow kisses to the slow rhythm of his hips as he easily slid into your entrance. Soft moans would fall from each of your lips as they barely separated from one another, you hands caressing his face while his would travel from your thighs, hips, to waist. He didn’t leave any patch of skin untouched, neither did you. Everything about this moment was perfect and filled with bliss. It was as if the whole world had stopped for the two of you…but unfortunately, that’s unrealistic thinking. 

“Could you two stop blowing up the goddamn water bill?” 

Jin nearly drops you at the sound of Yoongi’s voice, you letting out a small squeak as he presses you even farther into the wall, his chest smushing into yours to hide you away from the sudden intruder. 

“Yah, Suga! Why didn’t you knock, that’s so rude!” 

“So is using up all the hot water. Do it in the bedroom, like normal fucking people.” 

Yoongi 

➸ You’ve been needy all day, and when he was finally home, you weren’t wasting a second more. He wasn’t complaining - hell - he was hoping you were in the mood anyways. Things didn’t take long to escalate as Yoongi had no trouble taking you from behind, smirking lazily at the sounds you didn’t even bother to cover up. 

“That’s it, baby, let me hear how good you feel…” 

Constant whispers of unholy things were enough to increase the volume of your moans, not taking into consideration that you two wouldn’t exactly be alone for much longer. Not even 30 seconds have passed when a harsh knock came to the door, but Yoongi didn’t falter into his thrusts - he didn’t even stop. As he continued to pound into you, he answered to whoever was at the door. 

“I’m busy.” 

“Yeah, we know! We all heard you from the front door! The FRONT DOOR, Yoongi! Could you keep it down a little?” 

Min Yoongi grins so devilishly at the back of your head, you could feel chills run down your spine. Gripping your hair tightly to tug your neck backward, you could now see the mischievous look in his eyes; he was up to no good. 

“Sure, no problem.” Without even missing a beat, Yoongi starts back up again at an inhuman amount of speed, finally hitting that one spot over and over again that both made you see stars, and scream at the top of your lungs. By now, the neighbors could probably hear the two of you as well. 

“Is this down enough for you?” They could practically hear his shit-eating grin, all glaring at the door as it seemed that now there was no stopping him. 

He was smart enough to lock the door. 

Namjoon 

➸ The two of you just couldn’t wait; didn’t even get fully undressed until after you stepped into the shower. Namjoon watched you intensely as he undressed you from your now drenched shirt, licking his lips at the mere sight of the water dripping down your body rapidly. 

“Fuck, I’ve missed you, jagi…” He groans before pulling you closer to continue the make-out session you started in the living room. Reaching in between the two of you, you eagerly gripped his already throbbing member causing a strained moan to escape past his lips in surprise. 

Namjoon practically panted in your mouth as your pace picked up in no time, him letting you touch him for as long as you wanted as he placed one hand to the wall to keep his balance. 

“Namjoon, did you break my headphon-OH. OH OH OH I AM SO SORRY. IGNORE ME, YOU SEEM BUSY, ILL ASK LATER BYE.” Hoseok flailed, almost slipping on the rug on his way out, almost forgetting where the door knob was as he dramatically exited the bathroom. 

Both you and Namjoon stared at the door with raised eyebrows, him shrugging his shoulders while you giggled softly while shaking your head. That small interruption didn’t kill the mood at all for the two of you, as he stared down at you with lust filled eyes and a slanted smirk. 

“On your knees, babygirl.” 

Hoseok

➸ It was the end of your anniversary date, which consisted of dinner and a movie. He wanted the night to be perfect, and boy did he deliver. Hoseok was nothing but romantic and gentle with you all night, everything just all cuddly and calm. The warm water that cascaded down your still clothed figures felt so relaxing - his soft kisses that trailed from the side of your face to your neck almost had you practically melting in his arms. Your hands ran through his damp hair, while his were placed firmly on your hips, as the two of you basically slow danced in the shower. 

“You’re too good for me, Hobi…how did I get so lucky?” 

He chuckles softly, now nuzzling his head in the crook of your neck. “That’s my line, jagi…I should be asking you that.” 

It didn’t take long for his sweet kisses to turn into sucks, as he marked all of your favorite spots that he’s memorized all too well. Your bite your lip to keep quiet, knowing good and well that the others were in the bed by now…or were they? 

“I’m telling you, Jin-hyung, I turned off the shower an hour ag-OH HOLY SHIT!” As quick as the door came open, it was slammed shut. You and Hoseok now stared at the door in pure horror, covering each other up - even though neither of you was naked yet. Quickly turning off the shower, Hoseok steps out right as Jin opened the door once again - only this time with his eyes covered. By now, Jungkook ran back to his room in embarrassment. 

“I don’t care what you two were about to do in here, it’s none of my business. But, for the sake of Jungkook, and my innocent eyeballs - could you lock the door next time?” 

Jimin 

➸ Just like Hoseok, it was more a soothing type of shower session between the two of you. He sat on the shower bench while you straddled his lap, your bra still intact as Jimin just teased the straps, him smiling teasingly in the kiss as you hissed at him when he would tug it far, only to then let them snap back against your wet skin. 

“Jimin, I swear to God if you do that one more time, I’ll-”

“You’ll what, baby, huh?” His smile drops as he dared you to finish that threat, the hands that were placed upon your upper back now dangerously low on your ass - giving you a warning squeeze. “Did you forget who you talking to for a moment there? Does daddy need to punish you?” 

Before you could even respond, you could see the color drain from his face as his eyes drifted to something that was behind you. Tilting your head to the side in confusion, you turn to see what he was looking at, only to let out a scream in shock. Taehyung stood there in complete horror, unfortunately walking in at the wrong time. 

“I-I…I have no words…”

“Tae…how much did you hear?” Jimin gulps, afraid that his friend might have just discovered a little too much about himself. 

“Enough to where I want to shove pencils in my ears. Dinner’s ready, by the way, but it looks to me you’re already about to eat-”

“Y A H.” Jimin exclaims, Tae shooting his hands up in surrender as he starts to exit the bathroom with still a look of horror on his face. “Don’t tell anyone about this, please. I’m begging you.”

He shrugs, a small smirk starting to creep upon his lips. “Will daddy punish me if I do-”

“sTOP.” 

Taehyung 

➸ It was, at first, a solo shower. You had just gotten home from work, your day already starting off shitty - but that really took the cake. Not only did most of your co-workers call in sick, but they did it on the day where you have the most crowds. You were practically drowning in stress that you almost punched a costumer in the face. In conclusion : worst day ever. 

The dorm was empty by the time you got there, mentally thanking the man up in the sky that at least you came home to some peace and quiet for once. The warm water was exactly what you needed, but yet it wasn’t enough to fully relax you. Sighing heavily at the fact of not being completely satisfied, you lean forward to turn the water off - feeling defeat. It wasn’t until you felt a pair of cold hand grab your waist, and spin you around did you accidentally turn it to freezing ice water before letting out a small scream. Taehyung doesn’t hesitate to seal you screams with a kiss, letting you register that it was only him as you finally calmed down. 

“You jackass, don’t do that! One of these days I’m gonna stab you!” You couldn’t help but giggle as he started placing kisses all over your face, your lips trembling as the cold water draped over your bodies. 

“With what? Soap? Your shampoo bottle?” He teased, while continuing to place kisses anywhere and everywhere. “You looked a little down, so you can’t tell me that didn’t brighten you mood up just a little bit, jagi.” 

You wanted to punch him for almost giving you a heart attack, but you were happy to see him. Taehyung was actually the last puzzle piece to help turn this sour day back to sweet. Leaning into him closer to further his pecks into something more, the door to the bathroom was practically kicked in, and in came six out of the seven members as they all rushed into the small bathroom - Jimin holding a bat, while Hoseok started swinging at the air. 

“Y/n! Are you alright?! We heard you scream and- oh.” Namjoon pushed his way in, only to see that it wasn’t what they thought at all. “Seriously? Why can’t you do this at your own place - some of us have to shower in there, too!” 

Jungkook 

➸ You moaned into his mouth shamelessly at the pleasure he was giving you, the rushed movements of your mouths only making the bathroom much more steamier than the hot water. He wanted to use up all the time he had with you, knowing that his hyungs would be home soon, Jungkook wanted to use this opportunity to make noise as much as possibly. With one hand he held your wrists together, while the other rubbed your clit in slow circles, the water giving spectacular lubrication as you whimpered at the feeling. 

“Jungkook…p-please…” 

“Please what, Y/n? You’re gonna have to be more specific~” 

“Please g-go faster, please..!” You would cry, the teasing no longer tolerable as you were now reduced to begging. You would give anything to cum, even so much as scream his name while his hyungs were home. Be careful what you wish for. 

“Jungkook, are you watching porn again?” Jimin opens the door, only for both his eyes and mouth to completely bust wide open in shock. Jungkook being Jungkook quickly pulled away from you to cover himself up - only to then realize that you were naked as well, to then cover you up away from Jimin’s amused stare. 

“J-Jimin, don’t tell Jin-hyung! W-We were just uh…saving water?” 

“Oh, don’t worry, Kookie. I won’t tell him that you’re committing unholy things in his bathroom.” Not even five seconds later, “SEOKJIN! GUESS WHO’S MAKING BABIES IN YOUR SHOWER.” 

Jungkook, not even giving a shit anymore, would practically run after Jimin naked - leaving you to stand in there confused and sexually frustrated. 

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Attention:

If you’re the imbecile who uploaded the Owari no Seraph chapter 60 raws onto manga reading sites like Mangatail, I don’t know if you’ll see this, but you’re not welcome on my blog. Especially if you found the link through my post in which I explicitly stated in bold not to repost because the owner of the pics straight up said not to. They’ve gotten mad about reposting before and have left warnings since. It’s people like you that ruin nice things for everyone.

The final fight of GotG 2 was uploaded and I only now realized that Peter freed his family who was caught by Ego’s power before he flew straight at Ego, not only afterwards.

Which means that Yondu for sure was witness to a big part of that awesome fight between Peter and that jackass, since he was staying behind and waiting for a chance to get Peter out of there.

That’s just… imagine how proud and amazed Yondu must have been, watching his son going up against a god and standing his ground, pummeling said god into the ground, even. All these years, Yondu had done everything he could, what he know how to do, to keep Peter away and safe from Ego… and now? Now Peter just kicks Ego’s ass instead of surrendering to the overwhelming power or to the temptation of eternity, and he does so with Ego’s own power and with a sculpture of freaking Pac-Man…

I just have this image of Yondu looking up at what’s going on up there, first dumbfounded, then beaming with pride, as he sees Peter going at Ego’s throat and he’s just like…

“Now that’s my boy!”

No one had a problem with sangwoo killing women but saying mean things to yoonbum? unacceptable. he's completely irredeemable NOW. Murdering women, meh, but SAYING something that cruel to our favorite character? THAT's what makes him irredeemable. Dismissing sexual assault as consensual...after we've seen how he butchers women. That's what makes him evil and that is in FACT, so shocking. And out of character. Can you believe it, guys? I can't believe it. I'm swimming in disbelief, I can't even believe it that hard.

Ahahah.

Isn’t that…nice…

Okay, but like… We learned something super important about gooverly in this episode.

Whenever the goo/demon thing has control of Waverly she can’t remember what she’s done afterwards which means that:

1. When her and Nicole slept together she was able to consent.
2. Waverly doesn’t necessarily remember why her and Nicole were fighting.
3. She won’t remember attacking that one jackass.
4. She probably doesn’t know where Dolls is.

Differences aside.

So Giovanni managed to get ever villain to work together in the name of world domination. Which is awesome.

But what I want to know is this.

How the hell did Giovanni get this dork

and this jackass.

Into one room and had them agree to work together without them trying to kill each other?

Familiar


Pairing: Nalu

Rating: K+

Genre: Friendship and romance

Summary: The tiny stuffed toy was her treasure - a little demon that had helped her through good times and bad. And suddenly there he was, breathing, walking, talking, emoting. And asking for a kiss. 

Notes: This drabble poured out as soon as I laid eyes on <<this>> wonderful art by @liku-bears!

It was probably the only really meaningful gift from her father in recent times. It wasn’t much — just a tiny little demon plushie. It could have easily been lost in thousands of other dresses and jewellery that he had also sponsored for her.

Had it not been for the fact the toy was a small reminder of happier times. And of her parents’ love.

One of her fondest childhood memories were of when they would all cuddle together in bed while her mother told stories. In particular, one of a tiny demon that saved lost little kids, only to be misunderstood by the children’s parents when they saw him with them. Her father would supply the dialogues for the angry people, while her mother would do those for the little children and the demon.

Lucy felt for the demon, and protested, insisting that she would have done her best to protect it had she had the chance. Her mother had been so pleased with the suggestion, that she would weave a Lucy into the story to do just that - and she would get to do her own dialogues. And they would go on and on until Jude reminded them of it being past bedtime.

Storytime had been her favourite way to spend time with her family - it was the one time her father and mother could take a break from their royal duties and spend time with her.

Her mother’s sudden loss had been very hard on her and her father, and his subsequent attempts to cope had really dented their relationship. Lucy, now at sixteen years, still couldn’t remember the last time she and her father had really spoken.

The plushie, gifted to her on her tenth birthday, two years after losing her mother, was a small reminder that despite all the evidence that went against it, her father really did care.

She had taken extremely good care of the soft toy ever since. It had a special place beside her pillow at night-time and was the last thing she saw when she went to bed and the first when she woke up. She would talk to it every day — share tales of her day, people she met, things she learnt. She would laugh with it and cry holding it. It was her closest friend, and had been for years now.

Even if it never had it replied back.

Not till right now anyway.

Lucy, the ever graceful celestial princess of Magnolia, fell rather clumsily on her bum when it — he — suddenly spoke.

“Woah, there! You okay?” came the tiny voice again, as the now animated toy (person?) leaned over the bed to ensure she was okay.

“Y-y-you’re talking!”

“Hell yeah I am!” he grinned. “Finally.”

“B-b-but you’re a toy!”

“Oi, I’m a demon!“ His face tilted to one side. "And you’ve always told me you’re a polite person. Lies!”

Lucy blinked disbelievingly, as the little toy crossed his arms and huffed.

She crawled on her knees back to the edge of her bed to peek at the toy, see for herself if he really was…real.

And while the demon kept his back to her, pouting sulkily, she brought a finger to poke him in the side.

“Hey,” he warned.

Poke.

“Hey!” His back still faced her.

Poke.

“Would you— ” he got cut off as Lucy — in a bid to try and confirm once more that felt had indeed given way to flesh — unintentionally began tickling him.

“S-sorry,” she said, not really that sorry. His laughter was heart-warming.

“Oh, you’re gonna pay,” he said, once he’d caught his breath.

“And what are you going to do about it?” Lucy challenged.

He pouted again and Lucy couldn’t help but giggle.

“I didn’t intend to tickle you, if that helps,” she added.

“You’re mean, Luce,” he grumbled.

Lucy raised an eyebrow. “Luce?”

“Well yeah, that’s what I’ve always called you,” he said, rolling away to make room for Lucy to climb and sit on her bed.

“You were listening the whole time?” she asked in wonder.

“Yup,” he replied.

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top West Wing one-episode subplots:

  • CJ cons the vicious House of Representatives into investigating the MS instead of letting the fair-minded Special Prosecutor do it
  • a dead homeless man is found with Toby’s old coat, Toby gets emotionally involved, there’s a formal funeral because the man fought in Korea, Mrs. Landingham tells Toby about her sons, I weep openly
  • this was probably more than one ep but Will vs. Hazing
  • CJ vs. the cat figurine
  • Charlie, Bartlet, and the carving knife
  • Donna vs. the 20(?)lb of moose meat
  • Donna vs. North v. South Dakota
  • Donna vs. trying to get someone to vote for Bartlet to balance the fact that she accidentally voted for Ritchie (”It’s an honor thing!”)
  • SECRET PLAN TO FIGHT INFLATION
  • Sam and Mallory re: school vouchers, Chinese opera
  • Toby trying to deal with Andy and simultaneously put together a blue-ribbon commission on labor, and there’s this one jackass who’s being stubborn but Andy accidentally gives Toby an idea for a somewhat underhanded way to deal with him and they smile at each other and they’re still so in love? In a slightly broken way?
  • Toby is struggling with the State of the Union and Will shows up and somewhat unwillingly auditions to help
  • any time, and I can’t emphasize this enough, but any time Jed and Abby are trying to have sex and it keeps getting interrupted
    • Election Night
    • Jed can’t get the radio address right all day, and then he insults Nellie Bly at the last minute
    • I’m pretty sure there’s a third time? Right after he’s cleared for it post-Roswell? Abby ends up catching a plane?
    • one time he’s sick and keeps insisting she’s really hot when she’s being a doctor, god I appreciate seeing middle-age/old people still being adorably in love but also It’s Complicated sometimes
  • Josh and Leo try to get the roof of a temple in Jerusalem fixed on Christmas Eve and I weep openly
Moonlight

Pairing: Eleven x reader

Request: Hi could you do a eleven x female reader , were prom and El asks the reader to go with she says yes and while they are dancing people look at them weird and whispering things until someone says it is wrong for two girls to be in love and El protect the reader they have been dating for a year they are now 16 😊😊 and they leave and El takes her somewhere and dances under the moonlight with her then kisses her sorry if you don’t’t want to do it😊😊😊 Requested by @lovely-wagner

Warnings: Some homophobia (or people just being assholes, same thing), a few swear words

A/N: This isn’t my best writing, but I hope you like it!

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