HAS ANYONE DOES THIS YET??? I am in such denial that Tadashi dies that I like to think that maybe he came back as a guardian and eventually gets Hiro to believe in him so that they can be bros again.
He would have fire powers like Jack has ice powers!! It would be so cool because they would be like polar opposites, but they both heroically died and left behind younger siblings who looked up to them a lot…. I made myself sad…. anyways, I was thinking that he could be the Guardian of Comfort or something, since fire is kind of like warmth… and he could guide lost kids home with the light and stuff like that. Idk I’m just trying to think of how fire could be helpful to children.
GOODNESS TADASHI YOU BETTER STEP AWAY FROM JACK BEFORE YOU MELT HIM OR SOMETHING.
do it. he looks scary but he's not. he is afraid of snakes so if you wear a shirt that has a snake on it he will lose his powers. however if you catch him drunk, run. but if he's sober, do it. fight geoff ramsey but be careful
why would you ever fight jack. he is a perfect ray of sunshine. there is magic in his beard. he is large and made of love and probably like kittens or something. don't do it. don't fight jack
DO!! NOT!! FIGHT!! RYAN!! HAYWOOD!! HE WILL TEAR YOU A NEW ASSHOLE AND LOOK ADORABLE WHILE DOING IT AND YOUR FAMILY WILL MISS YOU DO NOT FIGHT RYAN HAYWOOD
fight michael. he's a ball of rage and if you let him get close he'll fuck your shit up but you can just put your hand on his forehead and hold him at arm's length while he tries to run at you like a bull. lindsay will probably cheer for you. do it. fight michael
just sorta punch him in the nose and he'll probably squawk and fall over and start crying. but there will be no glory in fighting gavin free. only sadness. why would you do such a thing. you can fight gavin if you really want to but it will be an empty victory and you should probably rethink your life afterwards
don't fight burnie. he's 6'2 and he punched out a horse once. the laws of mortals do not apply to burnie burns and he will fire you even though he's not CEO anymore. don't do it. don't fight burnie.
you can maybe fight jon but only if you're okay with losing all your points. depending on what mood he's in he may award you points for winning. fight jon risinger but only if you're feeling lucky
he'll probably run away and bitch about you on the next podcast. it would be hilarious to everyone else and you would have brought laughter to the lives of millions. do it. fight gus.
you cannot slay a god
you could maybe fight lindsay but only by being sneaky and even then michael would snap your neck if you win. distract her with conveniently placed cat pictures and you could sucker punch her because let's face it, you couldn't take her one on one. maybe fight lindsay but only with prep time
ray narvaez jr:
he's already dead don't hurt him more
do it. fight chris. it'll be hilarious give him a wedgie and hang him off something by his underwear. take his lunch money. buy something cool with it. shove him in a locker. fight chris demarais
she's canadian she'll just ascend into her moose form and headbutt ur ass to the nearest tim hortons. don't fight barbara
but you knew who knew BEFORE JACK DID? bob zimmermann. bc he was subjected to hours of complaining on the phone about that new freshmen eric bittle.
to transcribe some of the gems that we talked about this morning a la jack talking on the phone to Bad Bob “I love my weird gay hockey robot son” Zimmermann about A Certain Small Southern Someone, aka Eric Bittle’s Freshman Year from Bob Zimmerann’s pov, reserve softbrah sparklyslug
bob seeing bitty for the first time all, “jesus christ. i was right. oh man, my son has no game. let’s go say hi to this kid’s mother.”
"but papa, he’s awful. He’s so talkative?? And short?? And effortlessly friendly?? I hate him.“
“SURE JACK, WHATEVER YOU SAY”
"you never said he was blonde” “…why would I have mentioned that why do you say that”
“small. blonde. plays hockey. okay. heeeere we go again.”
<<in French, ofc >> “His smile is blinding. Does he know that’s dangerous on the ice??? I’m so angry.”
“they want to put him on my line. why????? why. i don’t want this. have i mentioned that he talks a lot i hate it.”
“jack he’s good” “HE’S FINE OKAY WHATEVER WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH DAD”
“he’s always in my kitchen baking. he doesn’t even live here” “your kitchen? jack, you cant even make mac and cheese, the instructions are on the box son”
“papa, who is beyonce? do you know her? apparently not knowing who she is very offensive.”
*hangs up the phone* “alicia your son is ridiculous and so lame.” “oH he’s MY son NOw IS HE????”
Can you imagine a spy kids au where Bitty is the perfect homemaker and bakes pies all the time and Jack is this super hockey player who takes time off to take care of his family and on the surface it looks like they have a picture perfect family with two perfect kids
but little does everyone know that Bitty and Jack are actually super spies and they’ve been covertly training their kids to be ready for #SpyThings and one day they disappear and their kids are like WTF
so then their kids have to go to their Uncle Shitty and Aunt Lardo to find out about the Family Business™ (less Supernatural more Totally Spies) and then they go save their parents from the clutches of a guy named Kent who is still not over the fact that Bitty is actually the fairest in the land and omg Jack why did you ever leave me we would’ve been perfect together
and then the kids show up and kick Kent into next year all like “omg stop macking on our dad” and then Bitty is like “yall are skipping school I can’t believe this” and Jack is just beaming because those are his kids being badasses
Ryan: blech! I just licked this thing and it tastes terrible.
Jack: Why would you lick that? Jeezus, Ryan.
Ryan: It tastes like dead children.
Michael: Alright, so how many times have you tasted that before?
Ryan: Well, I mean, you can’t just open the book of my life to the middle.
Ryan Haywood, Jack Pattillo, and Michael Jones discussing Ryan’s licking of the pop filter for his mic (and his past tasting of dead children) in Let’s Play - Angry Birds Star Wars Part 1 [x]