Zodiac Sings As Murderers

Aries: Eric Harris
Taurus: Richard Ramirez
Gemini: Ted Bundy
Cancer: Brenda Spencer
Leo: Andrei Chikatilo
Virgo: Dylan Klebold
Libra: Myra Hindley
Scorpio: Jack the Ripper
Sagittarius: Thomas Lane
Capricorn: Ed Gein
Aquarius: Jeffrey Dahmer
Pisces: Aileen Wuornos

America’s involvement in World War I began with the sinking of the British civilian cruise ship Lusitania by a German torpedo in 1915. The German government had warned Britain to suspend tourism during the hostilities, because German ships weren’t going to discriminate between civilian and military vessels when they got trigger-happy. Nevertheless, the Lusitania embarked from New York to Britain on May 1, under the captain’s naive impression that the Germans wouldn’t really blow up a cruise ship full of innocent tourists. Over a thousand people died when Germany called that particular bluff.

As with Pearl Harbor, 9/11, and basically any tragedy ever, there are conspiracy theories that say the American government allowed the attack to go ahead because they wanted an excuse to enter the war and start whooping German ass. But when it comes to the Lusitania, that idea is a little more plausible.

For one thing, the official story at the time was that two torpedoes launched by a German submarine sank the ship, but it’s since been proven that only one torpedo was launched. The cause of the well-documented second explosion remains a mystery, which is like Viagra for the kinds of people who Google jet fuel temperatures on their lunch break.

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